Butch pushed into the clubhouse, his mind on fire and his bladder aching. He hadn’t stopped riding since bolting from the motel, not even to pee, but that was the last thing on his mind. Gidget had to be here. She has to be. But anxiety twisted his belly even tighter once he’d pulled into the clubhouse parking lot with his bike nowhere to be seen.
She could be anywhere now. Unless she’s here. She can still be here.
Butch walked into the den of the clubhouse, the familiar sight both calming and nerve-wracking. This was home, in a way. But was it now, after the past month in Shreveport, back in his first home? After everything that had happened with Gidget?
A small cluster of brothers were gathered on the couches along the far wall. Zebra turned to look back at the door as he pushed inside. Surprise lit up his face.
“Zebra.” Butch’s chest heaved as he walked toward the brothers. Something felt bad already, and he wasn’t even three feet inside the door. And then he noticed—Geo. Sitting on the couch, flanked by brothers like the king he was. “Geo. What are you doing here?”
Geo’s brow knit into a hard line. “Where the fuck else would I be? What are you doing here?” He got to his feet, his heavy boots clomping against the wood floor as he approached Butch.
“Trying to find Gidget.” Butch squeezed his hands into fists, feeling the familiar prickle of tension across his shoulders. The same feeling he got before the inciting words of a fight, or a bad mood, or when his mom had had bad days.
“Where’s Zane?” Geo’s voice went low and he approached more slowly, his gaze turning steely.
“Left him in Shreveport. Wouldn’t let me do my job.”
An icy silence settled through the room and Butch realized all eyes were on him. Zebra hadn’t even said hi to him yet. Not a single brother had greeted him.
“And what job is that?” Geo’s words were practically a snarl.
“Protect Gidget.”
Geo stepped closer, grabbing Butch by the front of the shirt. “So where the fuck is she?”
“She’s on her way here,” was all Butch could think to say. He didn’t resist against Geo, not for something like this. Even though he could have him pinned to the ground in a heartbeat.
“I sent Zane bring Gidget back, and to take care of you.” Spittle flew from Geo’s mouth, landing on Butch’s nose. “But since you were dumb enough to show back up here after selling us out, I guess Zebra will take care of it.”
Geo’s words clanked heavily inside Butch, echoing all throughout his body. Selling us out? Geo nodded back at Zebra, who took a deep breath before approaching.
“Geo, I didn’t sell anybody out,” Butch said, grabbing at Geo’s wrists as he held him by the front of his cut. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. And I sure as hell don’t get why you sent Zane to finish my job.”
“To save my little girl! From the piece of shit you are!” Veins bulged in Geo’s neck. Zebra appeared behind Geo, looking conflicted.
“I’ll hold him,” Geo muttered while the rest of the brothers flanked them. Butch swallowed a knot of apprehension. They were gonna beat him down. Hopefully it was just a warning beatdown, not something worse. Like something fatal. Clearly Geo had a twisted story and it seemed there was no fair trial inside the walls of the Carver clubhouse.
“Zebra,” Butch croaked. “Brother. You gotta tell me what’s going on. I deserve to know. This isn’t right.”
“Shut up,” barked Geo as he stood off to the side. He yanked Butch’s cut down over his arms. Butch didn’t put up a fight. “Zebra, go.”
Zebra sighed, squeezing his eyes shut, some veins popping out at his tanned temples. “I’m sorry, Butch.”
Butch squeezed his eyes shut as Zebra pulled his fist back, and then the punches flew so fast Butch felt dizzy immediately. Maybe it was just Zebra on him, or maybe they’d all joined in. Knuckle against flesh, bone smashing into jaw, grunts and the slick meeting of skin. Butch surrendered to it, knew that this was the way of things. In the back of his mind, a part of him protested, railing against this pack mentality and the ways in which he’d assimilated. Hadn’t he always been a lone wolf? A lone wolf wouldn’t stick around for this. Taking a beating that wasn’t his.
But you deserve this. That was the secret whisper of guilt inside him, wringing him weak and limp under the punches. His cheek stung, lip busted, shoulders and chest on fire. He deserved it because he did fail Geo. Even if it wasn’t how Geo thought. Butch had fallen for Geo’s girl. And now Butch didn’t have Gidget with him and he might feel guilty about this for the rest of his life.
And maybe it was a cleansing process too. Something to beat the sense back into him, so he could get back to when he was clearheaded and not fucked up on these delusions of love and duty.
“That’s enough. For now.” Geo grunted and pushed at Butch’s back once the punches stopped. Zebra caught him in his arms, helping him regain his balance.
“Take him to the back,” Geo said, and then stomped away. Butch groaned, trying to blink against the swelling of his face. Zebra grabbed him by the shoulders, steadying him.
“That was pretty good, Zebra,” Butch murmured, his words coming out slurred through his busted lips. “Almost broke a rib.”
Zebra sighed loudly, leading him down the hallway, past Butch’s bedroom, toward the attached garage out back. The metal door clanged behind them as Zebra guided him over the shiny cement, between bikes under repair, all the way to a small storage closet in the corner.
Zebra kicked open the door with his foot and then fumbled for a light switch. A moment later, yellow light illuminated their surroundings. Shelves of gas cans and repair tools. One metal chair. Zebra pushed Butch into the chair and he slid down easily, the rag doll that he was now for the club. Wonderment cycled through him alongside disgust. Who had he become? The Butch of the past would have shanked all of them and ran.
“Why did you let me beat you up, Butch?” Zebra crossed his arms, leaning against the closed door of the closet. “You didn’t even put up a fight.”
Butch let a rattling sigh. “Because I’m in the club now. I’m a fucking brother. And I take shit blindly, even when I don’t deserve it. Isn’t that how it works?” He shifted on the seat, wincing as pain shot through his ribcage. “Now maybe you can tell me why the fuck I just got beat up.”
Zebra assessed him with dark eyes and a set jaw. “You should know.”
“Like hell I know.”
“Gidget,” was all he said.
“Yeah, she bolted in Shreveport and when I got back to the motel looking for her, Zane was there. That’s all that fucking happened.”
“No, Butch, it’s before all that.” Zebra shook his head like he was tired of going over it already. Butch swallowed the taste of blood before responding.
“Before that? Then I have no fucking clue.”
“The Skulls found out where you guys were hiding out.” Zebra’s voice came out flat, emotionless. “And there’s no way they coulda found out except from you.”
The news reverberated through Butch, sending painful jolts through him. “What the fuck are you trying to say?”
Zebra stayed quiet, his eyes on the ground.
“I’m not a goddamn snitch.” Butch’s heart pounded as he felt the excuses and justifications rising inside him, like lava ready to burst from a volcano. “There’s no way in hell I’d take Gidget that far away just to turn for the Skulls.” Butch paused and then swore. “I can’t believe I have to fucking defend myself about this.”
“Geo wants you out,” Zebra went on. “I think he’s gonna keep you in here until we find out about Gidget. Then he’ll decide how to handle…this.”
Butch swore, stomping his foot against the ground, the only part of him that wasn’t aching from Zebra’s beat down. “And how was I supposed to be informing the Skulls about this? Huh?”
Zebra let a weary sigh. “Butch, you and I both know plenty of people turn in prison.”
“Yeah, I turned for the Carvers.”
“But maybe you made a deal with the Skulls, too.” Zebra’s face was expressionless, a type of neutrality that sickened Butch. This wasn’t the Zebra he knew. But maybe he was just following orders too. Maybe he didn’t believe a word of it.
“Like hell I made a deal with them,” Butch spat. “And you know it.”
“I have my thoughts,” Zebra began.
“Well what are they?”
Zebra shook his head. “Not now, Butch. This isn’t the time. I need to get back.”
“Not the time?” Butch’s throat tightened. “When would the time be? Hopefully before Geo comes back to knife me in the stomach. Or maybe when he sends you to beat me up again tomorrow?”
Zebra’s jaw flexed. “Butch.”
“I trusted you.” Butch’s chest heaved as he struggled to control his breathing. He was pissed beyond measure, but more than that, he was hurt. “You’re the only one I’ve trusted in years. And look at this.”
“Yeah, well, I trusted you too. But there’s no other explanation.” Zebra scrubbed at the shaved stripes on his head. “We’ve got confirmation that the Skulls were en route to Shreveport as of yesterday.”
“So?”
“You and Geo were the only two that knew where Gidget was.”
A heavy silence filled the storage closet, one that sat on Butch’s chest and weighed him down. Curse words flooded his head. Yeah, that looked bad all right. And he had no defense. None that the Carvers would accept, at any rate.
“That doesn’t mean it was me,” he said, his voice cracking. “I would never sell you guys out.”
“All we have is the evidence, Butch.” Still, Zebra looked doubtful.
“So how did you find out that the Skulls were en route, huh? Did they call you up as they were pulling onto route twenty?”
Zebra narrowed his eyes. “It wasn’t so neat but yes, basically. They called to let us know you’d snitched. Thanked us for the informant and for Gidget’s location. That’s when we sent Zane.”
Butch scoffed. “Sounds a little fucking suspicious.”
Zebra ran a hand over his head, pacing the cement in front of the door. “There’s a lot of shit that don’t make sense, okay?”
“I’m not a snitch,” Butch growled. “And I thought you of all people would remember that. After all that I’ve done for you.”
That seemed to break through to Zebra. He paused, sending Butch an anguished look. “Listen Butch, I have to go by what makes sense right now.”
“You and I both know that doesn’t make sense.” Butch sniffed, rubbing a smear of blood off his knuckles. “It’s too convenient. Why the fuck would the Skulls call to tell you that?”
Zebra was quiet, his jaw clenching and unclenching.
“They’ve seen me with Gidget. They know I’m keepin’ track of her. So why not out me as the snitch?”
“Butch—” Zebra warned.
“I’m just trying to talk some goddamn sense into you.” He took a breath, his ribs aching. “Since everyone else seems to have lost it.”
Zebra watched him for a long while, the silence tense with unspoken words. And then he turned on his heels, pulling open the door. “Stay here until we figure some shit out. I’ll be back with some food later.”
Butch’s nostrils flared as he heaved with anger, balling his fists as he fought the urge to rage against the insanity of this situation. But lashing out wouldn’t help. That wasn’t the way shit worked in the club.
Zebra stepped out of the closet, and the heavy clank of the lock closing followed him.
Butch was at their mercy now.