Hacked For Love & The Dom's Songbird: A Billionaire Romance Collection by Michelle Love, Celeste Fall (6)

“It is and I have to say about those things he is. But he said something about not being able to play catch with his son or some kind of crap like that. He’s having a pity party which I don’t blame him for, but I was kind of hoping he’d be able to focus more on the fact he’s going to be a father. In a good way though instead of how terrible it’ll be if he’s in a wheelchair.” She takes a drink of the water.

Kip comes in and hands her a little stuffed bear. “Here ya go, Samantha. It’s for the baby. I don’t know if I’ll be around when the tot is born, so I wanted to give you something from good old Uncle Kip.”

My eyes follow the bear into her hands and the thought runs through my head of why he’d say such a thing. He sits a few chairs away from me and takes out his phone and starts playing some game.

Samantha leans in close and whispers, “Did you two have a fight?”

“No, but he seems distant. Off in a way,” I say and find myself wondering if he wants to be set free. Maybe the concert without me was a lot better, and he wants that back, but doesn’t know how to tell me that.

Mom and Dad come into the waiting room. “Okay, two more of you can go in,” Dad says with a frown.

I look over at Kip who only politely nodded at my parents when they came in. “Kip, you want to go. He’s not nearly as groggy as yesterday.”

“Nah, you and Sam can go. I’ll wait,” he says without ever looking up at me.

I get up and go along with Samantha and look back at him over my shoulder. He doesn’t seem to be the same man at all and my heart hurts as I walk away to go see my brother.

A young nurse is fusing over Tyler as we go into his room. His eyes go straight to Samantha and she hugs him, gently. “Hi, baby,” she murmurs.

His hand runs over her still flat stomach and he smiles at her. Their exchange nearly brings me to tears. Not only because I’m happy as hell for my brother and Samantha, but also because Kip isn’t looking at me like that for some damn reason.

“You look better,” I say as I push that crap out of my head.

“I feel better.” He smiles and tosses the blanket back, exposing his legs and then we see why as he wiggles his sock covered toes.

Samantha starts crying and I jump up and down and clap. “Tyler! I can’t believe Mom and Dad kept this a secret,” I say.

He shakes his head. “I didn’t let them in on this yet. I wanted Samantha to be the first to know.”

It hits me like a brick in the head. He held off letting his own parents know he isn’t paralyzed to tell her first. He holds her the closest to his heart. She kisses his lips so gently and he takes her head and pulls it so she has to kiss him harder. The nurse and I exchange glances and exit the room to give them time alone.

I make my way back to the waiting room and have no idea if Tyler wants to tell our parents the good news on his own so I stop at the door. “Kip, come here, please.”

He looks up and gets up, putting the phone in his pocket. “Yeah, what do you want?”

His body seems as if he’s holding it wrong. As if he’s holding it back away from me. I reach out to touch him and he lets me, but he flinches a bit. “Hey, you wanna get out of here for a while. My brother and Samantha want to be alone and I see no reason to sit around here. He wants her with him, not me.”

“I would, actually.” He says as he pulls his arm out of my loose grip. “We need to talk.”

His words make my stomach clench and I look at the ring he gave me and I can’t help but wonder just how much longer I’ll be wearing it. He’s not acting the same, not one bit.

I follow him out to the car and without saying a word we go back to the hotel room. Once inside he sits at the little table and I sit on the edge of the bed. “Something’s wrong,” I say.

He looks at me for the first time all day. He stares at me a while without saying a word. His eyes begin to glisten and he looks away. “This is unhealthy.”

The same words had come to me last night and I think he’s feeling some of the same things I have. “I agree.”

His eyes cut back to mine and he blinks the tears back. “I’m glad you agree. This doesn’t have to be a knock down drag out fight. There is no one who is right and no one who is wrong. This is just unhealthy is all.”

“I couldn’t sleep until you came back,” I say and find I can’t look at him.

“Me neither and I was exhausted when I got back on the jet. But I kept jolting awake, confused and wondering where you were. I didn’t like it at all. Then I got here and curled myself around you and fell asleep in an instant.” He gets up and looks out the window.

“Exactly the same for me. I fell asleep easily once you were next to me,” I say and though it hurts, at least we’re on the same page.

“It’s as if I love you way too much,” he says without looking back at me.

I laugh and say, “I know what you mean. I find it hard to breathe when you aren’t with me. Like I take in air, but feel it’s not enough, then you come in and boom, I can get oxygen again. It’s all consuming and has to be bad.”

“You need to be here for you brother and your family and I need to fulfill my prior obligations to my band.” He shifts his weight and I can tell this is hard for him so I help him out.

“I’ll stay home and you go do what you have to. I have an interview in a couple of weeks with a literary agent and it’d be nice not to have to fly in for that. I’d like to be well rested and on my A-game for that.” I get up and go get a bottle of water. Suddenly my mouth feels dry and tears keep threatening me.

“I think this is best for us both. If this is meant to be then we will learn to give each other the space we need to do our own things.” He holds his hand out and I walk over and give him the bottle of water. He takes a drink and hands it back. “I’m not saying break up, but I am saying I won’t hold you accountable if you decide this isn’t what you want.”

My heart stops. “Kip, do you want to be with other women?”

He shudders and takes me by the shoulders. “No! That’s not what this is about. This is about the fact we’re getting our lives all wrapped up in each other's and it’s hurting us when we have to be apart. This is about learning to exist when we have to be apart.”

My heart beats again. “Okay, for a second there I thought that’s what you wanted and I can tell you now that would really be painful. A hell of a lot more painful than being without you for most of the night was.”

Kip lets me go and turns away. “The thought of you with another man makes me insane. The thought of another night without you makes me that way too, and that thing I know is bad.”

“It’s normal not to want your special person not to be with another, but not normal to have to have them with you all the time. I get what you’re saying and I agree. Life will not always lead us in the exact same direction, and we need to be able to live without each other too.” I place the water on the table and go back to sit on the bed.

“I think it best if I stay the next couple of days with you, then jet over to Cheyenne and finish out the tour. In December, you can come to L.A. if you want to of course.” Kip turns back to stare out the window.

“That’s only six months away,” I say. “Not such a long time, I suppose.”

“Only a half a year. Any couple should be able to be away from each other for that small amount of time without dying, right?” he turns and asks.

“Right,” I agree and find my mouth is saying one thing and my body is saying quite another.

“Wanna go take a swim or something?” I ask.

His eyes run over me and he looks away. “Nah, not really. I’d actually like to stay here and rest. I’m still beat and have jetlag. Would it be awful of me to hang out here and you go do whatever it is you want or feel you should do?”

I want to be with him, but I guess that really is an unhealthy choice. “No, I’ll leave you to rest. We can go eat dinner later, how about that?”

“Yeah, dinner sounds great. See you around then.” He plops onto the bed and kicks off his shoes.

I nod and wave then walk out of the room. I lean back against the door and hold my hand to my heart. If this is so damn healthy then why does my heart hurt like someone is poking it with a sharp stick?

Kip

It seems my addiction to Peyton is so much worse than I imagined. I’ve fallen asleep three times and every time I’ve dreamt of her. I wake up with a jolt and in a sweat for the love of God. It’s the most ridiculous thing!

I get up and pace around the room and go to look out the window. Levi’s truck pulls into the hotel and up to the valet. He and Tanya get out and their two little girls they each get out of the backseat. One is three and one is a mere six months old. Levi carries the baby and Tanya holds the other’s hand.

The perfect little family they look like as they walk into the hotel lobby. Normal people with normal lives. Why does this thing with Peyton have to be all consuming? Why do I need her so damn much?

I go and wash my face and look at my reflection in the mirror. I hear the door open and realize she’s back. I have to stop myself from running out to her and grabbing her up, telling her I’m an idiot and can she please come with me and forget all I’ve said.

She’s making a silly sound and I walk out to find her niece in her arms. “Look who I found in the hallway, Kip.”

The baby looks at me and holds out her little arms. I don’t know why kids love me but they do. I take her and she hugs me. My heart melts as a thought runs through my head. From the corner of my eye, I can see Peyton smile then turn away.

“So what is this little beauty’s name?” I ask the baby as if she’s going to answer me.

“Her name is Kyla. Their oldest is Kylie. Abby had a brother named Kyle who died in a motorcycle crash five years ago. I dare say if they have any more kids they’ll be named some form of Kyle as well.” She sits on the bed and takes her heels off. She rubs her feet and I have to look away so I don’t run over and do that for her.

I sit on the opposite side of the bed and play with the baby. “You look like your aunt Peyton, don’t you?” I ask the baby and make a silly face at her.

She laughs like I’m the funniest person on the planet and Peyton has to look back to see what I’m doing to crack her niece up so bad. “Damn it, she’s never laughed like that with me. Traitor!”

I lie back on the pillows and hold her up over my head as she giggles and squirms. “Who’s the pretty girl?”

Peyton lies back too next to me and watches the baby’s funny reactions to me. “She’s in love with you already, you can see it in her eyes. Look how they twinkle and shine,” Peyton says.

It’s her eyes that remind me of Peyton and I find I can’t look away from them. Just like Peyton, this little wench has sucked me in and now I’m lost. She coos and reaches out, touching my face and squeezing it and Peyton laughs.

I look over at her and nearly feel like crying at how fucking much I love her. I shake my head and hand the baby to her. “Here, take her. I have to use the bathroom.”

She takes the baby and gives me a strange look. “Isn’t that where you were when I walked in, Kip?”

I haul ass to the bathroom without answering her. Cold water I splash over my face as I fight to regain some composure. I should leave now. I can’t take this.

When I go back out ready to pack up and leave I find Peyton is gone. And now I feel alone and sad and find myself falling onto the bed. Never have I felt so torn.

The door opens and in walks Peyton and she’s looking pissed and maybe this is for the best. A fight will help me to go. This is just what I need. I hope she’s mean and makes this real easy.

Peyton

Kip is acting so odd and I find myself growing angry. This is more than just finding our need for each other unhealthy, so much more. He can’t even play with my niece with me. It seems almost as if he hates me. If that’s the case then he can just take his ring and car and leave.

Will my heart be broken? Fuck yes it will, but it’ll mend. The sooner the better if that’s his intentions.

I stomp over to him as he lies face down on the bed. I open my mouth, prepared to tell him to leave if he hates me. My hands land on my hips and he sits up, seemingly preparing to do battle.

His eyes narrow and his lips form a thin line. I glare into them and see the hint of a tear and promptly fall apart. My knees hit the floor as my tears flow like rivers down my cheeks. I lay my head on his knees and sob like a child.

“What’s happening to us?” I ask in ragged breaths.

“The truth?” he asks.

I pull my head up and look at him to find tears running down his cheeks. “No, lie to me.”

He smiles a crooked smile. “I’m afraid of this. What we have.”

I laugh. “Me too.”

I climb up on the bed and sit next to him, taking his hand in mine. He kisses my hand. “It’s overwhelming, Peyton. It’s much too soon to feel this much I think. I looked at that baby and the first thing I thought was I wonder if ours will be as cute as she is.”

I rest my head on his shoulder. “Ours will be even more adorable. She’ll have your eyes and my hair. And before you say a word, I know this is too fast. This whole thing has moved too fast and our hold on one another is too tight.”

“So you’ll understand that I have to go,” he says and my heart breaks into a million pieces.

I pull the ring off and hand it to him. I get up and take the keys from my purse and place them in his hands. “Here you go then. Thanks for the fun times, Kip. I had a blast, and you taught me more than I could’ve ever imagined. Now go on out there and be the rock star you are. Forget about me, forget about this whole thing.”

I walk towards the door and his voice stops me. “Peyton, I’m sorry.”

Without looking back, I flash him the peace sign and walk out of the hotel room and keep walking without looking back.

Kip

It’s Thanksgiving and I’m doing the second to last show before our December break. Sometime in the first week of January I have to decide if I want to sign back up with Silas. He’s kept us busy and I have to admit he helped me through the break up with Peyton.

The first week I couldn’t sleep and cried a lot. So he brought in a doctor and got me some sleeping pills and anti-anxiety pills. After a mere three months I was able to stop taking them.

Does the woman still cross my mind? Only every day and two or three times every night, but I handle it a lot better than I did at first. I sold the car I bought her. It held too many memories and I have thirteen cars at home anyway.

I’m getting geared up to spend the Christmas holiday with Max and his family. I’m getting the twins little ponies. Zoey should lose her little mind. I’ve been shopping online as we’ve traveled and have had presents sent to my place in L.A. for all of them.

I hate to admit it, but I even bought some for Peyton. I don’t know why. I suppose I’m a huge idiot. She’d never take me back.

The gig is in Seattle and it is raining. The rain always brings me down. It’s the type of weather when one thinks about staying in bed all day and I can’t do that anymore. I can barely stay in a bed at all. I sleep on the sofa a lot. It’s small and there’s no empty space where another body should be.

With the hood up on my black jacket I walk along the sidewalk. No one recognizes me, not that anyone can even see me as I walk along. It’s dark, but lights shine from the different stores.

I slow down and look inside the window of a book store. There are several books sitting upright on a table inside. One of the covers has a man looking up into a night sky, full of stars. The title is, ‘Star Struck’ and the name of the author is K. Reed.

A little sign on the table says there’s a book signing by the authors of all the books on that table tomorrow. It says they’re all new authors and everyone should come and welcome them to the literary world.

I walk on and think about how Peyton said she wanted to write romance novels and wonder how that’s going for her. She was going to find an agent, I wonder how that went.

Her brother, Tyler, I did check on and he made a full recovery and has a little boy now. Silas has his ways of finding out tidbits of information for me. It’s hard because I want to forget about them all so bad, but can’t.

Why is it that some people come and go out of your life without you thinking about them all the time and sometimes never again?

Peyton lingers, her family lingers and there are times when I think I can smell her. I know I’m crazy and that’s exactly why it had to end. It was all too crazy. No one should have that much hold over another person, ever.

My cell rings and I look to find Max calling. “Hey there, bloke,” I say as I answer.

“Hi, Hunky Kip,” Zoey’s sweet little voice greets me.

My voice goes all high as I hear it’s her. “Hey, baby girl. How’s my best girl?”

She giggles and melts my heart. “I’m good and being good too.”

Her brother’s voice I can hear in the background, shouting, “Nu uh, she ain’t being good! She hit me in the face.”

“You better be quiet, Zane or I’ll do it again!” she shouts straight into the phone.

“Zoey,” I say. “That’s not nice to hit your brother.”

“Well, he ‘served it. He told me you ain’t gettin’ me no pony,” she says sulkily.

I’m not sure if I can hold onto my secret if she keeps up this torture. “Santa has to bring it, but he only will if you’re good. Hitting your brother is not good.”

“Oh! I’m sorry! I’ll never do it no more and I’ll give ‘em my ‘sert for the rest of my life,” she says and I believe she will.

“Maybe that’ll help. We’ll have to wait and see if that works, won’t we?”

“Dad wants to talk to you. Bye, I love you,” she says.

“Thanks man, she decked Zane good, the little monster,” Max says.

“Girls,” I say. “Can’t live with ‘em.”

Max adds, “Can’t live without ‘em.”

I laugh but it kind of hits at that empty spot in my soul Peyton used to fill. “So, still on for Christmas then?” I ask.

“Sure, buddy. That girl would kill me in my sleep if she doesn’t get to see her hunky Kip.” He laughs and I hear Lexi ask him something.

“Tell, Lexi hi for me,” I say as I find I miss her and how she talks so freely. Peyton was free like her. Peyton was a lot like her.

“Oh, this may be a touchy subject,” Max says. “So tell me if you don’t want to hear it, it’s about Peyton.”

I stop walking and think on it a second. “Yeah, I want to hear it.”

“Lexi went to the mall a few weeks ago and Peyton was there,” he says.

“In Houston?” I ask.

“Yeah, she was at a book signing with a group of young authors. They’re on a tour around the states. She had no idea of who Lexi was, but you sent us those pictures of you two and Lexi recognized her. Lex bought her book and noticed the name and how she signed her copy was K. Reed. I guess she’s using a pen name.”

I move forward slowly. “The name of the book?”

“Star Struck, Lexi and I read it. It sounds a hell of a lot like your story.”

“Oh, yeah. Did my character come off as a jerk?” I ask with a laugh, but my stomach hurts like I was just punched.

“Nope, a real confused young rock star who didn’t realize he wanted to be anything but one. Chip and Hayden got married and lived happily ever after with three kids and a dog named Petey.” Max’s words come out jokingly, but they make me want to cry.

“Well, what do you know about that? I told the girl that hanging out with me would help her be a better writer. Turns out I was right. Good for her,” I say and feel like I may fall apart. “Hey, I’ll look that book up. And talk to you soon, Max. Bye.”

I hang up and find myself in a daze. Seems she was able to get closure with the writing of that book. I bet she’s done with any feelings she had for me. Odd, she’ll be right here in this very town tomorrow.

I turn back around and go back to the bookstore and purchase the book. I’d like to see just how our pretend lives turned out. I hope she made my character good looking.

Peyton

My back is aching as the tour bus pulls into the motel parking lot in Seattle, Washington. The new author book tour doesn’t have us staying in the type of accommodations big wigs stay in. The little motels offer subpar mattresses, and my back is not happy. Thank the Lord this is the second to the last stop. The next one is in Los Angeles.

After that, back home we all go from LAX. My first plane ride and I’m already nervous. I’m nervous about L.A. period.

That’s where Kip lives. Not sure if he’ll be home, but it is his town and though extremely unlikely, we may run into each other and if he sees me I don’t know how that will go.

Do I miss him? Like the desert misses the rain. But he and I have a crazy dependency on each other. Not only is it unhealthy, but it’s not a thing he wants.

It is a little hard for me to take that he hasn’t called or texted even once. But he must have his reasons. Whatever the hell they are. I have mine for not trying to get in touch with him as well.

The first month was the hardest. I didn’t sleep much. Then one night I did. After that it got easier and easier to be alone. Not that I’m ever really alone.

I found it therapeutic to write a fictitious story about Kip and I and what we had. It was brilliant and brief, much like a shooting star. But the effects will last a lifetime.

I wonder if he ever even thinks about me.

As I go into my small motel room, I flip on the television. The local evening news is on and I sit on the edge of the bed and watch it. I’m curious as to what type of weather we’ll have for tomorrow’s book signing.

This is Seattle after all, so I suppose rain is in the forecast. Like always. A commercial comes on and I turn to unpack my bag and pull the dress I’ll be wearing tomorrow out and hang it up.

Music fills the air as the commercial comes on and I look over my shoulder to see the words, ‘Kip Dixon’ on the screen. The music is from one of his songs and it seems he’s playing a concert right here tonight.

Why did my stomach just flip?

It’s not like I could go if I wanted to. He hasn’t attempted to contact me in the last six months. It’s obvious he’s put me out of his mind and behind him. Just as I feared would happen.

For some damn reason I feel more alone than ever and tears just start flowing. I sit down and start bawling like a little girl who just found out her puppy got ran over. I feel so stupid, it was just his damn name!

I must be hormonal or something!

Even though the commercial is over, I turn the television off. I can’t risk seeing the commercial again. I go to the bathroom and start filling up the bathtub. I’ll take a nice bath and soak my memories of him away.

Kip

The concert was lackluster in my opinion. I tried to pump up the energy, but it seemed to be sapped out of me. It just wasn’t there and I don’t know if I can find it.

I wonder if she’s in town yet.

I wish I hadn’t deleted her phone number. That was rash and completely uncalled for. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Why am I so afraid to love someone so much it makes me weak?

I’ve showered all the crap off me and see the book she wrote lying on the nightstand by the bed. My eyes fall on it and I can’t move.

A knock comes at the door. “Who is it?” I shout.

“Bobby, come on let’s drink, mate. I have a bottle of tequila out here.”

I glance at the door and then back at the book. “Rain check, mate. Good night.”

He grumbles some unkind words and I flop down on the bed and open the book. The first thing I notice is the dedication page.

‘This is for my falling star. What we had burned bright and ended way too soon. Just so you know, I’d do it all again anyway. No matter how painful it turned out, what you gave me was priceless. I will cherish what we had, and all you taught and gave me forever. Keep burning bright and may a love you can bear find you one day.’

Damn girl! Is she trying to make me cry?

I wipe the unshed tears from my eyes and start on chapter one. And would you looky here, there’s guitars on either side of the chapter. Little nuances of me are probably all through this.

I wonder if by writing this it made her completely get over me.

An idea comes to me and I flip to the end of the book to see if she has a web page or something. There’s a fan website. I grab my laptop and look it up.

Her sweet face pops up on the screen. There she is and now I really want to cry. I touch the screen and wish that I could feel her soft skin under my fingertips. She’s glowing and even more beautiful than I remember.

I join her fan club and write a comment.

Enjoyed your book. I think I know the couple you were writing about. They remind me of a relationship I had once, but fear fucked it all up. Anyway, I am your new number one fan. And always will be. I hope you find love too, P. Reed. I thought it clever to use a K as your first initial, I get it.

I know she doesn’t read this stuff, but it makes me feel slightly better to write it anyway. Somehow it feels like we are still in communication. I wonder if she’d like that.

As I go through her website I see that the book tour she’s on ends in Los Angeles the day after tomorrow. It’s at Skylight Book Store near Hollywood.

I laugh out loud as I recall how her brothers called me Hollyweird. She called me Pop Rock, and I secretly loved it. She stopped calling me that though towards the end. It was as if she was gaining respect for my music.

It makes me feel like writing a song about her since she wrote a book about me. It’s only fair after all. If she can mimic Taylor Swift then so can I.

Grabbing the small pad of paper and a pen from the nightstand, I write down the things that stick out in my mind about her. First I write, ‘Summer Girl’. That’s what I think about when I allow myself to relive our short time together. Her hair is blonde and reminds me of the summer sun.

Our camping trip and the river also remind me of summer. Her naturally tanned skin and long, toned legs. Well, they just remind me how good they felt when they wrapped around me.

I shake my head to clear it. This is a bad idea. It will only lead me to dream about her, and that always ends with me waking up and grabbing at the bed to find her. And she’s never there and never will be again.

Part Eight: Hidden Star

Kip

A clattering sound echoes in the hotel hallway. I assume it’s the breakfast I ordered from room service and open my door to see it isn’t. A maid seems to have dropped her vacuum cleaner and a short man comes down the hall with the food I ordered.

“Good morning, Mr. Dixon,” the man calls out as he approaches me. “Fine morning, don’t you agree?”

I have a bit of a hangover from a little too much partying after last night’s show. I haven’t done a lot of it, but with Peyton in the same town as me, I kind of freaked out and drank too much.

“It’s okay,” I mumble as I hold the door open so he can come in and set the stuff on the table.

He hands me the newspaper as he walks by. “See you had yourself a good bit of fun last night.”

“It was okay, nothing great,” I say and open the paper to see my fake face on the front page. There’s Gina, an old kind-of girlfriend of mine who surprised us by coming on stage and singing a number with me. After the song ended, she kissed me, yet another unwelcome surprise.

“You should read what the reporter wrote,” the little man says as he places the crepes and coffee on the table.

I scan the article to find the writer is a douche bag. He says that I’ve seemed to have moved on from the plain Jane I announced I’d be marrying six months ago. He says how she’s disappeared off the face of the Earth and added an unnecessary, good riddance. Then he goes on to make claims that me and Gina are on again and hotter than ever.

“Bastard!” I shriek. “This could not come at a worse time.”

“The media is not always so kind, are they?” the man asks as he leaves the room.

I toss the paper on the bed and make myself a cup of the coffee he brought in. I can’t believe Peyton is in town and most likely will see this. My cell rings and I see that it is Gina.

Mistake number seven thousand, giving her my number. I answer though as she must be furious about the newspaper as well. “Hi, Gina.”

“Hey there, lover!” she says with a giggle. “When do I get a ring and proposed to on stage?”

An unsettling laugh I make. “So, you’ve seen the paper.”

“I have and man, that kiss looks hot. Don’t you agree? I should make my way to your hotel room and try that out again.” Her words end in laughter, but I’m not sure she’s joking.

“About that, Gina, I’m sorry. I hope that doesn’t get you in trouble with the latest boy-toy.”

“I’m free at the moment,” she says. “Unless you want to make that story real that is. I’ve missed you, Kip. That was a lot of fun what we did last night.”

“Is that why you showed up unannounced?” I ask. “Because you miss me?” My body is tense and my mind races with all the reasons why I should take Gina up on her offer, but my heart still belongs to Peyton.

“We were good together and since we’re both in the same industry, we could help each other out. You know, make some beautiful music together, both in and out of the studio.”

“So, you want to make some music together and possibly go on next year’s tour with us?” I ask.

Her voice goes shrill as she squeals, “Kippy! Would that be something you’d like? I’d love it!”

I bet she would! She hasn’t had a hit in three years!

“I guess you should know I’m not sure if I’m signing back on with my manager. I’m not sure I want to keep doing this kind of music. I’d really like to make my own stuff, give that a shot.” I pause and wait for her groan.

She does not disappoint as she groans loudly then says, “Kip, that’s such a bad idea. I mean, you rock man. Why not keep that going?”

Because it leaves me empty!

“My life has been run by other people since I can remember. I’d like to try running it myself and see where that takes me. So, I won’t be taking you up on either of your offers, Gina. Thanks for thinking of me though. It’s flattering.”

“You still have it for Plain Jane don’t you?” she asks with a monochromatic tone.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t refer to her like that. Peyton is a sweet and wonderful woman who took my heart. I let her down, right when she needed me the most. That’s the reason I want to get in control of my life. It’s likely she’ll never trust me to be in hers again. But someday I’ll find another, I hope, and for her I want to be settled, not living a life that runs me.”

“You don’t see me in that role?”

Gina is tall and blonde, gorgeous in every aspect, save one. She’s a user and always has been. All she really wants is to use me to get her somewhere in this business she’s been unable to get to on her own.

“I could lie to you and tell you maybe, but the truth is no. You and I don’t mesh well if you’ll recall.”

“Only because you refused to take me on the road with you. Even as a person who sells your damn T-shirts.”

“Yeah, so why do you think that was, Gina?”

“Because you are an ass.”

And on to the name-calling!

“Okay, it was all me and not you one bit. I’ll take the blame. Anyway, nice talking to you, sorry about the photo in the paper, though I doubt you are. It seems to me you may have had someone ready to take the damn picture. Manipulating always was your game, Gina. Sorry it’s not going to work out for you this time. Bye.” I end the call and toss the phone on the bed.

Just another reason why I want out of the spotlight. If it’s not your manager lining up your days and nights, then it’s another performer wanting to ride on your shirt-tails.

Thank God there’s only the show in L.A. left then I’m free!

Now to decide for sure if I stay free or sign back up for another year of this before I try it on my own. It may seem like the answer is clear, but I’ve never tried anything on my own and failure seems terribly daunting.

Peyton

The line to get my, and the other eight new authors’, books signed goes out the door of the bookstore and around the corner. Seattle is such a wet city, they sell more books here than just about anywhere else. It seems with this tour I may become a real author. Make a real living out of this thing.

I shudder with a chill as I think about the future. How nice it would be if I can really make this work. How much easier it would make my life if I could work from home. Especially now.

One of the men standing in line pulls a newspaper from under his arm and opens it up to read while he waits. A teenage girl drops her copy of my book in front of me. “So, is the guy real?”

“In my head, he is,” I answer with a laugh. “What’s your name?”

“Abigail Sweeney,” she answers. “I kept picturing him as I read. You described him so well, it was like he was a real person. Is that your story?”

I look at her and smile. “I’m not married and don’t have kids, so it’s not my story. It’s just a figment of my imagination is all it is. I have a very active one, hot guys run rampant through it. I hope you’ll be reading my next book.”

“I will,” she says and grins. “Wanna give me a hint of what it’s about?”

“Now, if I told you, I’d have to tell everyone. Thanks for coming, it was really nice to meet you. Abigail Sweeney.”

She turns with a bit of disappointment in her dark eyes. I watch her leave and see the front page of the newspaper the guy in line is holding up and my heart stops.

It’s Kip and some woman, kissing!

My stomach clenches and I have to get up and run to the bathroom. People ask if I’m okay, but there’s no time to answer. I’m about to lose my dinner.

Into the ladies' restroom I run and find an empty stall just in time as it all comes up. It’s been a while since I’ve thrown up. It was really bad at first, I threw up every day. Then it got all better, but seeing him like that got to me.

He sure moved on fast!

Cool water I run over a paper towel and hold to my forehead. A lump forms in my throat as I look at my refection. That girl was so much prettier than I am. Her body was fit and thin. She was perfect. I suppose he deserves someone like that.

Another one of the new authors comes in. She’s a woman in her forties and motherly. “Are you okay, Peyton?”

“Now I am. Just had to puke for some reason,” I say as I toss the towel in the trash.

A motherly pat she gives my back and walks me back out into the bookstore. “Are you nervous?”

“Not anymore,” I say as I take my seat again. “Thanks for your concern, Mrs. Simpson.”

The hours pass quickly as the line of people thins out, and the end is near. Our tour bus pulls up front and we put the chairs away and go out to get on it and go to Los Angeles.

My stomach clenches again as I think about running into Kip and that woman on the streets of L.A. God, I’ll die if that happens.

I pull my jacket on and head out to the bus. All are on board and the driver pulls away. A sudden hard tap on the bus door makes him stop. He opens the door and the lady from the bookstore tells him something.

He looks back at me. “Peyton, she wants you for a second.”

With confusion I get up and go see what she could possibly want from me. As I step off the bus I catch a glimpse of someone standing at the side of the bus in a black hooded jacket.

I look at the woman. “What did you need?”

“This person asked to see you and begged me to stop the bus.”

I turn and ask, “Did you want me to sign your book?”

The person pulls my book out of the inside of their jacket and hands it to me. I look back at the lady. “I don’t have my pen with me.”

“I’ll get one, I’ll be right back,” she says as she dashes back into the book store.

“You just about missed me,” I say with a smile. The fact is though I’m beginning to get creeped out as the man or woman hasn’t seen fit to pull the hood back or speak. I can’t see the person at all. “What’s your name? You know so I can write it in the book.”

No answer and the lady comes back out and hands me a pen. “Here you go, Peyton.”

I look at the person again. “Okay, you don’t have to tell me your name. I’ll just sign it. I guess you’re shy, I get it. Thanks for coming all the way down here to see me. I hope you enjoy the book and become a fan. You can’t ever have too many of those.” I sign the inside cover and hand it back.

I focus on the person’s hand. It looks like a man’s hand. I look back at the lady as she says, “There you go, sir. I hope you have a wonderful day.”

“Thank you, sir,” I add and try my hardest to see him under the dark hood. “Have a great evening.”

I turn to go back onto the bus and feel a chill run through me. I glance back to see him still standing there. I bite my lip and want to grab the hood and pull it back, but that’s too crazy and the bus driver coughs, making me turn my attention back to him.

I climb on board and take a seat by the window so I can see him. Perhaps he’ll drop his hood as we leave. He steps up on the curb and turns his back to the bus and walks slowly down the wet sidewalk. His head shakes slowly.

Kip

My head is spinning as I walk away from her. I cannot believe it. I wanted to talk to her so badly and when I saw her I completely froze.

How could she not have told me?

I wonder if she deleted my number like I did hers. Maybe that’s why she’s left me out of this. Left me in the dark about everything.

Thank God I know she’ll be in Los Angeles tonight and tomorrow. I know where to find her there. Now I just have to decide what I’m going to do about this.

Can I get her to forgive me and take me back? Can I get over my fear of needing her too damn much and make it work with her? Should I leave her alone?

She’s done fine on her own so far. Seeing her again reminded me of the all-encompassing need I have for her. The thought that’s its unhealthy seems to be fading to the back of my mind rather than the front where it usually resides.

She may not need me now, but she will. I should be with her, not pretending she doesn’t exist. She doesn’t deserve this.

I take my cell out and call Silas. “Hi Kip, what can I do for you today?”

“Peyton is on a book tour. I’m going to send you a link to the website. They’re going to L.A. and I want you to do your best to find out where they’ll be staying tonight. I have tonight and tomorrow before it ends and I’ll lose track of her then. I can’t let that happen.”

“Kip, man. You hurt her bad. You have to know that. She most likely doesn’t want to talk to you. Showing up at her hotel room could end badly. God knows you don’t want to show up at the book store either,” Silas says and he’s right.

“Find out anyway. Whether she wants to talk to me or not is beside the point. She has to now.” I hang up and keep walking.

My head pounds and my heart aches.

How could she do this to me?

Peyton

I can’t shake the feeling of unease the thing with the hooded man gave me. We’re coming into Los Angeles now and the night lights are bright, the highway is still pretty busy.

I’m sure our motel will be equally as crappy as the rest have been, so getting off the somewhat comfortable bus is not a thing I’m excited about doing. My mind wanders as I look at each exit sign. Which one leads to Kip’s home?

My stomach growls as it’s been hours since I’ve eaten and what I did eat at dinner, I lost. I hope there’s someplace that delivers, and not anymore damn pizza. Lord, I’m tired of pizza. That seems to be all any restaurant will deliver.

I want steak and a potato and a large salad. A monster glass of iced sweet tea and some pecan pie.

I can’t wait to get back home to Texas!

The tour has been long, and it’s just been a little over a month. I don’t know how Kip and his band can do a year-long one. Granted they stay in much better accommodations than we have, but still.

My agent said I only had to do this one tour and she’ll never make me do it again. My situation will make that too difficult anyway. I won’t be able to leave home for extended periods of time.

The driver takes an exit and before I know it, we pull into another dump and he lets us out. As we file out of the bus I get another chill.

I hope I’m not getting a cold!

The night clerk greets us as we go inside the little office. “Hello, how’s everyone this evening?”

We all mumble that we’re fine, though all of us are tired and just want to sleep. Well not me, I want to eat and then sleep. One at a time she hands us the key to our room. I step up to get the key and she smiles at me. “Miss Reed.”

I nod. “That’s me.” I hold my hand out for the key.

She places it in my hand and has a shit-eating grin on her face. “You are in room thirteen. Someone has sent you some things, and I placed them in there for you.”

“Must be my parents. I know they’re happy this is the last stop on this tour. Home tomorrow. Yeah!” I throw my hands up in the air and do a little dance as I walk away.

It’s chilly as I walk back outside and I pull my jacket tight around me. I open the dingy door and turn the light on. My mouth drops open and my heart stops as I see what was sent to me and delivered to my motel room.

What the hell does this mean?

Kip

I ditched the band and the bus and rented a car so I could get to Los Angeles sooner than the bus could get me here. Silas found out where Peyton would be staying and I sent a few things to let her know that I’m not only thinking about her, but will soon be there to see her.

I wonder if she’s excited!

My heart has been on full speed since I saw her. I was admittedly in shock at first, but that seems to have worn off and pure joy is all I feel now. I hope she doesn’t squash that for me.

I called Max and told him the news and he gave me some pointers on how to come at her. The engagement ring is in my pocket. I want to make everything right.

I had to put the fear of rejection behind me. The fear of us being too dependent on each other is ludicrous now. Her need for me should override whatever she feels about me and what I did to her.

As I pull into the tiny motel parking lot, I’m appalled that she’s staying in this rat trap. If she’ll come with me, I’ll take her to my place tonight. This is not a place I want her to be.

I pull up in the parking spot in front of room number thirteen and find I’m shaking. My stomach is in knots and my hands are even sweeting.

Shit! I have to regain my composure and present myself as a stable person, not a nervous idiot!

With a quick slap to my cheek, I try to bring my head back into what it is I have to do and how I have to take charge to get it done. Peyton has been known to be on the stubborn side and I can’t let her get into that place about me.

A hard knock I make as there are no lights on and she may well be asleep. I can’t wait until tomorrow though. I can’t take the chance I’ll have to go all the way back to Texas to find her stubborn ass.

A light comes on inside and my heart pounds so hard I can’t hear anything. The door opens and there she stands in an over-sized pink T-shirt. She rubs her sleepy eyes. “Kip…”

I pick her up and walk inside with her, kicking the door shut behind me. The small room is filled with the red roses I sent. “I’ve missed you, Peyton.”

My lips touch hers and she pushes against my chest. “Stop! Let me down!”

I do as she says as I don’t want her to get upset with me so quickly. “Sorry, baby. I really am, it’s just that I can’t help it.”

She sits on the bed and frowns. “You aren’t going to state the obvious? You aren’t going to yell at me?”

“I saw you earlier today. It was me at the book store. So I already know and have taken that in. For whatever reason, you chose not to get in touch with me and tell me, I don’t care. I’m just happy, Peyton. I’m so damn happy, you have no idea.” I sit next to her and take her hand though I ache to do more.

She gives me a smirk. “It was you in the black hoodie.”

I nod. “I wanted to say something to you. It was my plan to, but when I saw you walk out of the book store, I nearly fainted I was so surprised. Then I asked the lady to stop the bus and get you. Again, I meant to talk to you, but my words stuck in my throat. I’m sorry, love.”

“You’re going to be mad when I tell you that I have your number in my phone, I just never wanted to call you and tell you. I was hoping you would miss me and call me, but you never did,” she says and gets up and grabs a bottle of water.

“I deleted your number so I wouldn’t get tempted. I felt you were much better off without me.” I get up and try to wrap my arms around her, but she walks away from me.

“So if I was better off without you then, how is it any different now?” she asks as she sits back down on the bed and I look at the blanket and realize this place is nasty and dirty.

“Pack your things, you’re coming to my place. I can’t allow you to stay here,” I say as I look around for her bag.

“I’m not going with you. I’ve been staying in these kinds of motels for the last month, it’s not hurt me so far. One more night won’t kill me.” She takes a long drink of her water.

“I need you to, Peyton. You and I need to put our idiotic thinking behind us now. There are no if, ands, or buts about it. I still love you,” I say then stop to see if those words affect her at all.

She looks at me only briefly then says, “Great. Glad to hear you still love me. But it was never enough to look back and decide you made a mistake by ending what we had. I still love you by the way. Not that it matters. You’re not a safe bet for me, Kip. You’ve proven that.”

“I am a safe bet.” I pull the ring from my pocket and get on one knee in front of her.

“Get up,” she says. “I’m not about to fall for that again.”

She may as well have plunged a knife in my heart. “Peyton, I was scared. Fear made me think we had something that would hurt us both. I was a fool. Please…”

“Save it, Romeo. Funny how once you found this out you came running to me. Why not before?”

“This was a fluke, finding you. We both ended up in Seattle at the same time. I walked past the book store with your book in it. I had no idea it was your book until I called Max. His wife had seen you in Houston. I went right back and got the book. I love it by the way.”

Her eyes soften for a moment. “You do?”

I nod and try to hold her eyes. “Peyton, I can’t tell you why it’s only now that I realized how important you are to me. I can’t tell you why I found you so intriguing the first time I laid eyes on you. I can only tell you that I know without a shadow of a doubt that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I was going to tell you that anyway, even before I saw you.”

“How can I believe you, Kip?” she asks and looks away.

I take her chin in my hand and make her look at me. “Because I’ve never lied to you. Not once. I mean it. My plan was to beg you to come back to me. This is just an unexpected and happy surprise.”

Her eyes gloss over and she may be about to cry. “Kip, I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know that I can ever believe you want me back for me or what’s inside me.”

“It’s you, baby. I wanted you back before I ever saw you again. You need to believe me and let that doubt go. There’s no room for it. We have plans to make and this is just getting in the way. Now please, marry me.” I search her eyes for some sign of hope.

Her head shakes. “No, I won’t.”

“You really know how to screw up a proposal, Peyton.” I get up and run my hands through my hair.

“You really know how to break a heart, Kip.”

I turn away from her. “So damn stubborn!”

“Me?” she shouts. “I’m stubborn? What about you?”

“I was afraid, not stubborn,” I argue. “How much time do we have, three months, four?”

“Three. I have three months,” she says. “You have a lifetime as I don’t think you’re stable enough to be what you need to be. It’s important to be around. And if you thought what you felt for me was unhealthy and you had to run from it, then you’ll really feel your connection with this will be bad.”

“I don’t like you calling our child, ‘this’ it’s not very nice. Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “I haven’t had a sonogram yet. To be honest, I haven’t felt up to it. Mom said she’ll go with me, but I don’t really want to find out with her. I think it’ll be better to be surprised. Kind of how surprised I was when its daddy told me that what we had was too much for him to deal with.”

“Peyton, if I could go back in time and change it all, I would, baby.” I go back and sit next to her. “I’m here now. I’m never going anywhere again. After tomorrow, I’m free from Silas and the contract.”

Her eyes dart up to mine. “Who was the girl?”

“You saw the paper?”

She nods. “A man had it in the book store. I saw your face, well, sort of. That beautiful woman had hers all up in yours, but I saw you. So who is she?”

“Her name is Gina, and she’s a small time singer. I’m pretty sure she thought I’d help her get into the business a bit better, but I assured her I wasn’t going to be that person for her. I told her my heart belonged to you. I told her I was going to change the way I’ve been doing things.”

“You told her?” she asks. “You talked to her that damned much?”

Her cheeks grow red with anger and it makes me smile as I know she still has it for me or she’d not be this jealous. “It wasn’t as long as I’m making it sound. Minutes really. Over the phone this morning. Her coming on stage or being there at all was a surprise to me. I found out later Silas had allowed her to come on after she talked to him.”

“I kind of hate that man,” Peyton says with a frown. “To be honest, I blame him for your actions just about as much as I blame you.”

“He was definitely a gnat in my ear.” I run one arm around her shoulders and with my other hand I touch her round stomach. “You look more beautiful than I remembered you being.”

Her hand goes over mine and for a moment I hold my breath as I’m afraid she’s going to move it. “You lie, but thanks. I feel pretty ugly most of the time. Fat, alone, and ugly.”

My heart aches and I run the arm I have around her shoulders up and cup the back of her head to make her look up at me. “You couldn’t be ugly if you tried and you aren’t fat at all. The only thing I see is that little belly where you’re carrying our child, Peyton. I swear to you that you’re gorgeous, you glow, sweetheart.”

Her eyes twinkle a little. “If I was to take you back, you have to know my brothers would give you a hard time. Maybe even a punch or two.”

“I deserve it, so I’ll take whatever they feel I deserve. I fucked up. I should’ve never been so weak. I really do feel awful I did that to you at the worst time in your life, Peyton. I really do.” Her mouth is mere centimeters from mine, but I have to wait before I kiss her.

“How can I trust you to stay with us? How can I ever feel safe about it? If I build our lives around you and you decide it’s too much for you, then what? Not only do I have my heart to protect now, but my child’s too.” Her eyes search mine and I feel terrible.

“That’s my child too, you seem to forget. I’m not about to freak out over feeling completely in love with my own flesh and blood. I might be a bit of a fool, but I’m not a complete one. So go ahead and ask me what you know you want to, Peyton.” My hand on the back of her head pushes her face a tad bit closer to mine.

“I’m really afraid, Kip. I’m not kidding about that.” Her lips tremble and I know she’s afraid I’ll end it again.

“You’ll have to trust me, baby. I swear I won’t freak out this time. So ask me already and end this torture,” I say and lick my lips.

“What if I don’t?”

“Well, then I’ll have to continue to argue my case until you see fit to give this idiot another shot.” The hand I have on her stomach I move, running it up over her stomach and then to her breasts.

Her breath hitches and she smiles. “This is probably the biggest mistake I’ll ever make. Kip, will you kiss me?”

“I will, but you have to promise to marry me first, Peyton Gail Reed.” I pull the ring back out of my pocket and wait for her answer as I hold her so close I can smell the sweet cinnamon on her breath.

Her hazel eyes are more green than brown right now and they dart back and forth as she thinks. Finally she blinks a couple of times. “Yes, Kip. I will marry you.”

My lips touch hers gently and I feel like I’m home for the first time since she and I parted ways, I feel whole again. The emptiness inside me fills as I pull her into my arms and run my hands through her blonde curls which have grown a good four inches since I saw her last.

As we kiss, I run my hand with the ring on the pinky down her left arm, and place the ring back on her finger, where it should’ve never left in the first place. My hand leaves hers and slips under the hem of her night shirt.

Her skin is soft as silk and her kiss is every bit as sweet as I remembered. How I let this go is something I can’t wrap my head around. I pull the shirt up and pull my mouth from hers only long enough to take it off her.

She kisses me back hungrily as my hands go right for her breasts which have grown larger. My tongue flows over hers and I push her back gently until she’s on the bed. Then I sit up and look down at her.

A red pair of lacy panties is all she has on. I peel them off her and take her all in. The small bump of our baby I run my hands over. Up her body I run them until I get to her breasts. I cup each one and smile as I say, “Now, these are very nice.”

She giggles, and it makes my heart twitch with happiness to hear her happy again. “You like them? I think they’re going to get bigger.”

“Bonus!” I grin, and have to feel one of them in my mouth.

I lean over her and gently massage one as I pop the other in my mouth. We both moan and her hands tangle up in my hair. Soft murmurs she makes as I go to another place with her voluptuous mounds.

Leaving her breast alone, my hand flows over her body, down until I find her wet folds and run my fingers all over them. I hear her hiss out a yes and move a finger into her to wet it, then stroke her clit while I feast on her tender and juicy breast.

She arches up and moans. “God, Kip, oh, I’ve missed you. And this. You make me feel like no one else can.”

A smile interrupts my taking of her breast and I pull my mouth only as far away from it as I have to. “I am all you have to compare to.”

Her body stiffens and I find that a little odd. “Kip, I should probably tell you this.”

Please, don’t let it be that she fucked another guy!

Peyton

Kip’s body tenses, and he looks up at me. He’s really enjoying my new, bigger boobs so I hope this doesn’t stop that, but he should know.

“First, let me start by asking you a question, because we both know that you were trying to forget about me. Also, there’s a baby inside me, so you need to be honest for its health. Did you have sex with anyone while we were apart? Tell the truth, I’ll try really hard not to be mad.”

The way his eyes go down pretty much answers me and my heart starts pounding as heat rushes through me. I try hard to hold on to my temper as we had been broken up, and it’s not as if he owed it to me to be faithful.

He nods. “I’m safe though. I used condoms.”

He can’t look at me as I ask. “Do I even want to know how many times and how many women?”

He shakes his head and my stomach lurches. “I’ll be right back,” I say as I jump and run to the bathroom.

Everything comes out and Kip opens the door. “Baby,” he says but I hold up a hand to stop him.

With a brief pause in the puking process, I manage to say, “Please get out, I’m naked and this is embarrassing as fuck.”

“I understand,” he says and closes the door.

Once my stomach is void of all food. I wash my face and give myself a mental pep talk.

I have news which will not make him happy either, so stop being such a pansy ass about this!

I wrap a towel around myself as the vulnerability of being naked and what I need to tell him don’t go well together. What we had going on out there may well end.

I go out and find him undressed and in bed. He pats the bed and I go sit. “I’m sorry,” he says. “Let’s never talk about it again. I’m safe and healthy and it will never happen with anyone but you ever again.”

“That’s good to hear and I can get past it. I had no expectations that Mr. Pop Rock would go without sex anyway. It just hit me hard to actually hear it, and when I get upsetting news I puke, thanks to junior here.” I rub my belly and he smiles.

“So come on back here and let me get back to the place we were.” He pulls at me.

I place my hand on his chest to stop him from pulling me to him. “My turn to make a confession.”

His eyes go wide and he shakes his head. “No, don’t. I can’t take it.”

“Kip, that would be lying.”

His hands go over his ears and he closes his eyes like a little kid and I get déjà vu of what our kids might look and act like. Suddenly he stops and puts his hands down. “Is there anyway the baby isn’t mine?”

I smile as there is no way of that. “It’s yours. It didn’t get that far. Just to the point of oral and that felt awkward and not as good as when you and I did it, so I stopped it before actual penetration….”

“Okay! Shut the story down right there.” He looks a little relieved. “Did you know you were pregnant?”

“Not then, no. But I threw up afterwards and two weeks later I took a pregnancy test,” I say and he smiles.

“You threw up afterwards?”

“Part of why it didn’t go any further actually. He was going at it and nothing was working for me and then my stomach clenched and I had to jerk myself out of the bed and run to the bathroom where I lost my cookies and told him that wasn’t working anyway.”

Kip’s smile goes clean across his handsome face. He pats my tummy. “Way to go, junior. Thanks for keeping your mum intact for your old pop.”

I smack him in his muscular bicep. “I wish you would’ve had someone stop your horny ass!”

He gives a sheepish grin. “Yeah, I bet you do. So who was it? I bet I know.”

“You don’t know him. He was a random guy I met at a club me and some college friends went to so I could forget all about you. He didn’t come close to making me forget though,” I say and lay down next to him. “So did any of those trollops make you feel better than I do? And be honest!” I say, but am not real sure I can take it if he says any of them did.

He leans on his hand as he pushes himself up on his arm and looks down at me. Pulling the towel away as he says, “I am not a liar and when I tell you that no one came close to making me feel what I feel with you, you can believe me. I love you and what we make is real love. Any other thing I’ve ever done has been meaningless sex. You and I have something special, love.”

I want so damn bad to believe him, but my stomach is knotting and my head is going in too many directions. “Kip, can we not do this tonight. A lot has happened and I really need to make decisions with my head, not my body.”

He strokes my arm then holds my hand up and kisses the ring he’s put back on my finger, even though it only fits halfway as my fingers must’ve gotten fatter. “What do you mean, make decisions? I thought you had?”

“Well, there’s a lot to consider. This is a lot to take in. The fact we found it necessary to sleep with other people says a lot about the reality of what we have. It doesn’t seem so permanent, so undeniable. You know?” I ask.

His blue eyes sparkle. “All you need to take in is me, love and this crap will all be behind us and we can start right back at where we were.”

“I don’t want to go back to that exact place. There’s so much to decide. So much to think about.” My head spins as there seems to be too much to take in.

“Shh.” His finger touches my lips. “We have nothing but time, you and me.”

In slow motion, his mouth comes down on mine and I let it all go. The jealousy, the insecurity, everything. It vanishes with his kiss, his touch starts a fire in me that has lain dormant for six, long months.

I pull at him to cover my body with his. It’s missed the weight and comfort it brought me. He moves over me and the way our bodies match even with my stomach bulge is amazing.

A heat runs through me as his large dick presses against me. I arch up and bend my knees to allow him complete access. He grinds his growing erection against me and my body is already quivering for him to fill me.

His mouth moves to my neck, and he kisses my warm flesh. “I love you, Peyton.”

My heart fills with emotion and a tear wells up then falls over my cheek. He’s back, and he’s mine again. Other women he’s had, but it’s me that he has chosen. He came back to me.

“Please, take me now. Make me yours again,” I whisper.

He pulls his head up and looks at me as he slides his hard, large and wide dick into me. I hold his gaze and though it burns as he spreads me apart to accommodate him, I don’t show any pain. “You are mine, forever.”

“I am,” I say and wrap my legs around him.

Slow strokes he makes as he looks into my eyes. The burning eases and I arch up to him. He lowers his face and finally his lips touch mine. His mouth is hot, and he tastes like coffee with a hint of mint and I missed that taste.

The muscles of his back I run my hands over. I missed them more than I even knew. His huge biceps I run them over next and nearly fall apart at how hard and big they are.

Harder he thrusts into me, making me grow hotter and the first little quiver begins. “God! Kip!”

“Cum, baby,” he says through gritted teeth. “Do it!”

I yell as I orgasm hard. “Shit!”

My body pulses all around his hard, magnificent cock and somehow he holds on. With a quick flip, I’m on my knees and he’s behind me. “I’m going to make you scream my name, baby.”

He slams into me and the orgasm I had going intensifies. “Kip! Fuck!”

My face I push into the pillow and make noises I didn’t know I could make. He yanks my hair back. “I want to hear you.”

Tears flow for reasons I can’t comprehend. I scream with every thrust as I cum harder and it never seems to end. My legs are shaking and my body is a tight bundle of intense pleasure.

He leans over me and I feel his teeth sink into my shoulder. I scream and cannot believe my orgasm goes to a new level. “Fuck!”

“You like it, baby?” Kip says and his lips move on my back with his words.

“Yes! Yes! Don’t stop!” I cry out as he rams into me harder.

His hand grabs a chunk of my hair and he pulls it hard as he slams into me. Incredibly the orgasm goes into overtime and I scream like I’m being murdered and hope Mrs. Simpson from next door doesn’t call the cops.

Kip makes a horrible groan and slumps over my back as heat shoots into me. Our bodies pulse around each other’s and all I know is we’re back and better than ever.

Once all the quaking slows down, he lets me lay down. I go to my side and roll to my back. He lays out next to me, stroking my stomach. His lips touch my cheek. “I hope he doesn’t suffer any brain damage from all that shaking.”

“Can that happen?” I ask, suddenly really concerned.

“I don’t think so,” he says with a deep chuckle.

“But you don’t know.”

“Baby, chill. People have been doing this from the beginning of time. I’ve yet to hear of a baby coming out brain damaged because the parents liked to fuck hard.”

“Fuck?” I’m seeing red in an instant. “Is that all I am to you?”

I sit up and try to get out of the bed. He grabs my wrist and pulls me back down. “Sorry, poor choice of words, love. Damn, those hormones are really out of whack.”

“Fuck you, Kip!” I shout and yank my wrist from his grip.

“Baby, stop!” He pulls me back down and runs his arm around my shoulders and holds me so tight I cannot move which pisses me off even further.

“Let me go. I have to pee.”

“Really? Or are you just saying that so you can get up and storm away?” he asks as he continues to hold me tight.

I contemplate my answer as it’s a bit of both. “I really do have to pee after you banging me so hard and long.”

He lets me go and grins. “You sound as if you’re bitching about that, when seconds ago you were begging me not to stop. I do believe pregnancy is bringing out an animal in you, love.”

I make my way to the bathroom. “Probably because I carry your demon spawn and the animal in it is filling my veins with your tainted blood.”

He laughs. “Is that the writer in you coming out, pet? Is your next novel to be a horror story?”

I mumble to myself as I walk away, “It just may be if you don’t play your cards right, buddy.”

Kip

Peyton sleeps like a dead woman. She has her book signing thing to do today and I need to get to my place and have things prepared. I haven’t been home in nearly a year.

I dress quietly so I don’t disturb her. A quick note I jot down and then I grab her phone and text mine so I’ll have her number again. I’ll be picking her up after the signing and she will come home with me.

Has she agreed to that? No. Will she? I’ll simply give her no choice.

The woman is hormonal as hell. The fact is she shouldn’t even be making decisions for herself. I do believe she would actually cut her own nose off to spite her pretty, little face.

The engagement ring I gave back to her isn’t fitting all the way on her finger as they must’ve swollen with the pregnancy. She’s wearing it just to her knuckle and I fear she’ll lose it. I don’t particularly want her to. I could buy her another, but this one is special. I’m taking it to get it made to her size now so she can wear it comfortably. When we pick it up we can pick out our wedding rings. It’ll be fun.

Out the door I tiptoe and blow her a kiss as I leave.

Part Nine: Star Light

Peyton

Was it all just a dream? I sit up in bed and look around the dingy motel room. Except for the flowers there’s nothing left to show that Kip was really here.

I bet he got scared and ran!

I was too much for him and now with the extra he couldn’t take it and fled from us both. I hold my hand up and find my engagement ring gone as well.

That son of a bitch!

I can’t believe he’d give it back to me just to take it and sneak away. What a rat bastard. Why’d he even bother coming here and getting my hopes up that he could be a normal human being?

I may as well get up and get ready for this day. It’s going to be hard not to break into tears of disappointment all day, but I have to try. After the book signing I can get on a plane and go back to my parents’ house and cry for a month like I did last time.

It’s my bad, really. I knew he can’t be what we need. I knew he’d flake and freak and take off. What an idiot I feel like. I just let him jump right back into bed with me like I could trust his ass.

Idiot!

Oh, look the jack ass left me a note. What a prince. I should just crumble it up and toss it in the trash. There’s no way he could’ve found the perfect words to let me know why he’s left me again.

With a quick squeeze, I ball the paper up and throw it away. I really don’t need to know why or what he thinks is why. I know why. Because he’s a spoiled little rock star who has never had to do a damn thing, and this scares the crap out of him.

Well, it scares the shit out of me too!

I have no choice though. It’s me who has to have this baby and raise it, I guess on my own now.

How could he? What a complete crap-head!

I wish he would’ve never found me. This is so damn much harder than it was yesterday before he came back into my life. All sweet and adorable looking. All, I promise I’ll never freak out again.

The liar!

I’ll take a warm shower and cry for a little while then I’ll get dressed and go find something to eat. Then I’ll throw it all up and start the process over.

Uh! I hate Kip Dixon!!!

Kip

Life is great again. Peyton and I are back on track and things couldn’t be better. I called my parents and told them the happy news about us having a baby and they were over the moon about it.

I called the Tesla dealership in Austin and they still had the car I bought her there, so I bought it again and it’s going to be delivered out here in a few days. That should make her happy.

Tonight is the last gig on this tour and after that I’ll be free. I started writing on my own this morning and hopefully by the end of the coming year I’ll have a few songs done. For the first time in a long time I’m looking at the future with such a different mind-set.

I’m going to be a father!

A glance at the clock on the wall of my bedroom lets me know it’s ten o’clock. Peyton should be up by now. I’ll just give her a quick text and see if she’s up. Maybe she’ll feel like breakfast.

-Are you up?-

Poor thing, she was dead to the world when I got up this morning. I suppose our activities of the night wore her out. She’s been without for six months. I’m sure her body was exhausted.

My bedroom has a little room attached to it. I have a bunch of guitars in it right now, but we can change it into a nursery for the baby. My phone makes a little ding and I see Peyton’s texted me back.

Now, how’d she even find an emoticon that shoots the finger like that? And why did she send it to me? Does she think it’s funny or something?

-What’s that about???- I text back.

Her sense of humor is a little crazy. I’ll go ahead and leave to get back to that rat hole of a motel and pick her up.

Peyton

Wow! What a prick!

I can’t believe he asked me if I was up. What the hell does he care?

The cab is stuck in traffic and I have to pee again. The baby loves to lie on my bladder, the little meanie.

After crying for the entire shower, I called my agent and told her I was sick and would it be okay for me to go ahead and go home and miss the last book signing. She let me go, so now I’m on the way to the airport.

I can’t get out of this town quick enough. My phone makes a noise and I see he’s sent me another text. What a dumb ass. He wants to know what my emoticon of a smiley face flipping the bird is about.

I text back – Fuck you-

There, that should spell it all out for him. Why can’t he just leave me alone? Why would he bolt on me and then want to keep in contact?

Oh, I bet he thinks he can still be a part of the baby’s life and that we need to get along for the kid. Well good luck with that. We’ll see how often he comes to Texas to see the baby.

How am I supposed to see Kip and not cry my eyes out? I can’t do it. It’s impossible.

No, we’re both better off if he leaves us completely alone. My phone dings again and I look at it to find a bunch of question marks. So I text back

–Just leave me and the baby the hell alone!!!-

I turn my phone off. I can’t take any more of this. I’m about to burst into tears again and the cab driver will most likely think I’m insane.

I feel a bit insane anyway.

Why do I have to love his ass so damn much?

This would be so much easier to take if I didn’t crave the man. His touch set me right back on fire and my body still goes into hot mode when I think about the things we did last night.

But that will never happen again and now the tears are flowing and I know the sobs will follow.

Oh, Lord, I’m a mess!

Kip

I have no idea of what the hell is going on with Peyton. She texted me to leave her and the baby alone and I have no idea why she’d tell me that. She must’ve turned her phone off because it goes straight to voicemail.

Like a maniac I’m driving to the motel to catch her before they leave again. At least if nothing else I can find her at the book store that she’ll be at to sign her books at two this afternoon.

What could have sent her into such a state of mind?

I left her the note that told her to call me when she woke up. I even ended it with an, I love you. So why the sudden change in attitude?

Is she done with me for some reason? And why?

The daft girl, we’re having a baby. She can’t just write me off.

Why would she do that?

The tour bus I see pulling out of the motel parking lot up ahead. I’m too damn late. I’ll have to follow it and see where they’re going. Back onto the freeway we go.

Maybe I’ll luck out and there’ll be a traffic jam on the 405 like there usually is. I’ll just stay right in back of the bus and if we all get stopped I’ll jump out of my car and run up to it.

Please let there be traffic!

Peyton

I don’t know if it’s because I’m all hormonal from being pregnant or what, but I can’t quit crying. I’m hiding in a bathroom stall at the airport and cannot seem to stop the tears from falling out of my damn eyes.

My heart keeps telling me to call Kip and beg him not to leave me again. But my pride says I can’t do that. My head is all mixed up about what the right thing to do is and it tells me to just go back to Texas and forget about him.

How am I going to do that?

In three months, I’m going to have a constant reminder of the man. My little baby will probably look just like him and I’ll cry every single day. Poor kid’s going to think its mother is a crazy person.

To top it all off, my flight couldn’t be moved up because of stupid holiday bookings. All flights are completely full and I have to wait for my original flight out at eight tonight.

Stupid Thanksgiving!

So here I am, stuck at the airport for the next eight hours. I need to talk to someone. Mom, maybe. I’m a little afraid to turn my phone back on as Kip must have blown it up. Or maybe he didn’t.

I turn it on and call mom straight away without checking anything else. I don’t even want to see if he has tried to talk to me anyway.

“Hey, baby girl!” Mom answers.

“Mom, I….” I start bawling.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

The words won’t come out. Only big sobs and sniffles.

“Peyton Gail Reed! You suck that up and tell me what’s wrong. You’re freaking me out!”

“Kip, he, I saw, oh, Mom!” I wail again.

“Kip did what? Did you talk to him?” she asks.

I did more than that and he still left me again!

“Uh huh,” I manage to get out. “And he left.”

“Stop crying!” she shouts through the phone. “Damn it, Peyton!”

I try to suck it up and I grab some toilet paper and blow my nose. I flush the paper and try to speak again. “Mom, it’s really over. He knows about the baby and he spent the night with me and gave my ring back to me. But he was gone this morning and so was my ring. He bugged out on me again.”

“Oh, baby! I’m so sorry, sweetie.”

“I just want to come home and I can’t yet cause of stupid Thanksgiving travelers.”

“So, where are you?” she asks.

“In the bathroom at LAX.”

“Is it nice there?” she asks.

“In the bathroom?” I ask, confused. “I guess it’s pretty nice as far as bathrooms go.”

“No, in L.A. Is it nice in L.A. silly?” she laughs.

“I haven’t really noticed. We came in after dark and I couldn’t see much on the cab ride to the airport on account of I was crying the majority of the time.” I sniffle and grab some toilet paper and wipe my eyes.

Somehow just having Mom on the phone is making me feel a little bit better. At least the tears have stopped and I’m getting the sobbing under control.

“Okay, now tell me why Kip would come and find you just to dump you again.”

“I don’t know!” And the tears are back.

Crap!

“Okay, stop crying. It’s all going to be okay, Peyton. Sweetie, you’ll be home soon and I’ll hug you and make you some hot chocolate and everything will be fine, you’ll see,” her sweet voice tells me, but I’m having a hard time believing her.

“Fine? I don’t think I’ll ever be fine again, Mom. Why does this have to hurt so much?”

My phone makes a little sound and I know I have a text but I can’t look at it or I’ll go into a new round of tears and I don’t know how many I could possibly have left.

“Peyton, look, wipe your eyes and blow your nose then wash your face and go out and find you something to eat and drink. I bet you haven’t eaten at all if you’re this upset and that’s not good for you or the baby.”

“I tried to eat, but I can’t. All I want to do is curl up on the sofa next to you. I need my mommy!” And here I go again.

“Stop that crying, girl! Come on, it’s just a man for Heaven’s sakes. You can get through this.”

“What if Dad left you? Wouldn’t you cry?” I ask through bouts of sobs.

“Don’t even talk like that, Peyton! Now, listen here, young lady. You dry those tears up and do what I told you too. You’re a mother yourself now and we moms have to keep our shit together. Crying is not a thing that we mothers do. Now you have to pull it together and get yourself and that baby something to eat. Do you hear me?”

I sniffle and blow my nose some more. She’s right. I have to pull myself together. This is a minor setback. I already had my plan for this baby and it was only changed for a matter of hours. It’s just back to the original plan now. That’s all.

So what if I love Kip with every fiber of my being. So what if life looks bleak without him in it. So what if I feel more empty than I ever have in my entire life? Whoa, okay, going back off the deep in, let me reign it back in.

I take in a deep breath and let it all out. “I’m going to be okay, Mom. Whew! Thanks for setting me straight. I about lost it for a minute, or a few hours, whatever.”

“Now, you should give me that man’s number so I can give it to your brothers and they can give him a lot of shit for you. Doesn’t that sound nice, baby?” My mother’s angelic voice asks me.

“It does. But in all honesty, I just want no more to do with him. I can’t take thinking about him. It’s too hard. I need to put him way out of my mind, forever. I’m doing better now, Mom. Thanks.”

“Good, sweetie. Now do what I said and get yourself something to eat and we’ll see you later on tonight. I love you, baby girl.”

“I love you too, Mom. I’m turning my phone back off again so don’t freak if you call and I don’t answer. Just while I’ve been on the phone with you I can hear Kip has texted three times and tried to call twice. I don’t know what his angle is, but I don’t wish to discuss a thing with the man right now.”

“Maybe you should though. You are in the same town as he is right now. Maybe you two should decide if he’s going to take part in this child’s life or not.”

“I can’t right now. I just can’t handle it. I’ll get myself straight then try to talk to him about it, but right now I can’t do it,” I say as I leave my bathroom stall to find a bathroom full of women who openly stare at me as I look in the mirror at the black streaks that are running down my cheeks. “Oh, Lord, I’m a mess Mom, gotta go. See you tonight.”

The girl washing her hands at the sink next to me asks, “You okay?”

I shake my head. “Not one tiny bit. But I guess I’ll get okay.”

She turns around and crosses her arms over her chest and smiles. “Does it have anything to do with that baby bump you’re sporting?”

“In a way it does, but not entirely. Its daddy doesn’t want us anymore. A typical story, but it’s a first for me,” I say as I take a make-up wipe out of my purse. “The damn man gave me hope then ran out on me again. I’ll survive.”

“What a dick!” she says. “Where are you headed?”

“Back to Texas. And you?” I ask as I run the wipe over my tear soaked cheeks that burn.

“Texas too. Austin to be exact.”

My eyebrows raise and I smile. “That’s where I’m headed too. Are you on the next flight out?”

She nods. “Yep, off to visit my grandparents for the rest of this week.”

“Are you traveling alone, or with a group?” I ask, trying to decide how I’m going to ask her to trade flights with me.

“Alone. Everyone else is already there.” She pulls a lipstick from her purse and puts it on.

“My flight doesn’t leave until eight tonight. That’s like seven hours or so from now.” I look over at her to see if she has any sympathy for me.

Her eyes twitch a little. “That’s a long time to be sitting here.”

“It is. I thought I’d be able to trade my flight easily, but the damn holiday is messing up my plan to get the hell out of L.A. quickly.”

She turns and looks at me. “Mine is leaving in an hour. How about I trade you?”

“Really?” I ask and nearly pull her into a hug. “That would be so nice of you. And you’ll be happy to trade with me, my ticket is a first class one.”

“Looks like I got my reward for helping out a fellow Texan right off the bat. Come on, let’s go get this ticket thing straightened out and get you on the way back home and away from the idiot of a man who knocked you up,” she says as she takes me by the arm and leads me out.

Finally, a little help!

Kip

Just my luck, we hit no traffic, and it seems Peyton had turned her phone back on for a few minutes then it went right back off again. I can’t believe she isn’t even reading any of my texts.

The bus has its blinker on and it seems the little group of new authors is about to go eat Chinese food. Finally, I’ll have my chance to get a hold of the stubborn woman. That’s all I need is to be able to touch her and she’ll come back around.

I have no idea what’s sent her off like this, but I’ll get to the bottom of it. Pulling in right behind the tour bus, I wait for her to get out. She may just keep her ass on the bus if she realizes I’m here.

One at a time I see the people leave the bus and then the driver and that’s it. No Peyton.

I jump out of the car. “Hey, can any of you tell me where Peyton is?”

A woman turns back and looks at me. “And you are?”

I jog up to her. “I’m her fiancé.”

Her eyebrows go up. “Didn’t realize she had one of those. She actually told me she was single. So who are you now?”

I grin. Another person trying to protect her. Does the girl have no end to her guardians? “We got back together last night. But something’s happened to her. I left this morning to go get some things set up and let her sleep. Things have gone awry since then. So if you know where she is, I really need to talk to her and see what has her being so crazy.”

The woman narrows her eyes at me as if trying to figure out if she should tell me anything about Peyton or not. “She was feeling sick and has gone home.”

“Sick? Home?” I ask feeling quite confused.

“Home, yes and sick. Okay, so there you go,” she says then turns to leave and calls back over her shoulder. “So if you do know her then you know where home is for her.”

I thought it was with me, but I guess I was wrong. With a quick turn I go back to my car and off to the airport. She must be flying home.

I hope I haven’t missed her!

Peyton

“Wow! So that’s Kip Dixon’s kid you have there?” the young woman who traded tickets with me asks. Her name’s Rachelle Stone, and I found out she’s originally from Round Rock, just outside of Austin and not too far from where I live.

“Yep,” I answer as we sit in the waiting area. Only thirty more minutes then I’ll be out of here.

“You know you’ll be rich when he has to start paying child support.” She takes a bite of her sandwich. She brought some with her and gave me one. She’s going to college at UCLA to be a chef and rarely eats anyone else’s cooking so she takes her own food everywhere.

“Nah, I don’t want his money. I want him. If he doesn’t want us then I’ll just let him go,” I say and feel my heart filling up with heavy sorrow and hope I don’t go to crying again.

“Don’t short change the kid because of some misplaced pride, Peyton. I was a kid who grew up with no father. My mother was young when she had me and it was her parents who really raised me. Times were tough, and I even had to be placed in a children’s home once.” She stops and looks away, I suppose remembering the bad times.

“I’m, sorry, Rachelle. Don’t go back in your mind to a hard time for my sake. And don’t worry about this kid. It’ll never be sent away. If something was to happen to me, I have a slew of brothers who would make sure the kid was taken care of.”

She nods. “That’s good. My mother was an only child and so am I. My grandparents are all I have left. Mom has her own life. I don’t even know where she is right now.”

Her head drops and her dark, straight hair falls down around her face. Deep blue eyes, fringed with long dark lashes look sad. It makes me feel bad that my situation has stirred up bad memories.

“You know we should exchange numbers. We can visit each other when you go to your grandparents to visit. And if I have to bring the baby to visit its father then maybe I could hang out with you while he does that. I’m sure he won’t want me around anyway, not that I could stand that.” I pat her shoulder and she smiles.

“I’d like that, Peyton.”

I take my phone out and turn it back on so we can get each other’s numbers. A quick glance shows me that he’s stopped trying to get in touch with me. I should’ve known he’d stop. But I assume my heart had no idea as it feels like it’s been stabbed a few dozen times.

“Maybe after I have the baby, we could go out clubbing or something like that,” I say as I open my contacts.

“Not for another year. I’m only twenty,” she says and shows me her number. I type it in and send her a text.

“Do you like to ride horses? I have a few,” I say and put my phone back in my purse. I left it on as it seems Kip’s over trying to contact me.

“I haven’t in years, but I do like to. That sounds fun.”

“Now boarding seats one through fifteen,” the stewardess calls out.

“That’s you,” Rachelle says. “I guess I’ll see you around, Peyton. Maybe we can get together this weekend before I come back here on Monday.”

“Yeah, I’ll give you a call or you can call me. Thanks again for the earlier flight and the sandwich. You saved me.”

I get up and she does too and surprises me with a hug. “It’s all going to be okay, Peyton. And just think about keeping the father in this kid’s life, whether you and he have anything or not. Every kid needs both their parents if at all possible.”

“I’ll think about it. Not right now, because I don’t want to go on board and bawl like I have been, but later I will. I promise.” I walk away and get on the plane with a heavy heart.

The thought that maybe I should turn back around and see Kip or at least talk to him on the phone keeps going through my head. He may not be able to accept the feelings he and I have for each other, but he needs to come to terms with what he’s going to feel for this child, if anything.

I take my seat on the plane and turn my phone to airplane mode and lay my head back. I’m not going to call him, I’m not going to do that to myself again. Maybe once I get home, but not now.

Kip

The traffic got worse the minute I got back on the highway to get to the airport. Finally I made it, but now I can’t seem to find her or anyone who knows a damn thing about the flights to Austin. So I’m kind of running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to find the gate to any flight to Texas.

I see a small amount of people getting in line to get on a plane and as I come up I can see it’s going to Austin. But I don’t see Peyton. I walk up to the stewardess who’s taking the tickets.

“Excuse me, did a young woman with blonde curls and hazel eyes, a bit more green than brown and cute little rosebud lips, get on already?”

“Sorry, I can’t tell you anything about the passengers, sir,” she states without even glancing at me.

“But, she’s not just any passenger. She’s my fiancé and her friends told me she was sick and she won’t answer my calls and I’m worried to death about her and she’s having my baby….”

The lady holds her hand up, stopping my ramble. “Sounds like a personal issue. Sorry, sir. I cannot help you.”

I turn around and look down, defeated. She’s gone and I won’t be able to get to her until I get on a plane and get my own ass to Texas. Slow steps I take as I walk away.

“Hey,” a young woman says as I walk past her. “You looking for someone?”

I stop and look at her. “I am, my fiancé, Peyton Reed.”

She shakes her head. “You look really different without all that make-up and hair crap, Kip.”

My surprise must show all over my face as the girl laughs at me. “How do you know who I am?”

“She told me all about you and how you’re too afraid of how you two feel about each other and you ran off this morning and left her again. Taking the ring you just gave her back was such a dick thing to do, man.” She shakes her head and gives me a look that says she’s really disappointed in me.

“I didn’t leave her. If she would’ve answered my calls, she’d know that. The woman is so crazy, and it makes me nuts. Wait, is she on that plane?”

She nods and I take her by the shoulders. “I need to get her off of it.”

“Yes you do and I think I know how I can get to her and convince her to get off. You see, it’s my ticket she has. So if you’ll wait here, I’m going to go and take it back.” She walks away and I nearly jump up and down with joy.

Somehow she has more clout with the stewardess than I did and she’s allowed to go to the plane. I pace as I wait and pray Peyton doesn’t put up too much of a fight.

A few minutes later another stewardess escorts a rather hassled looking Peyton out and she’s so busy complaining she doesn’t even notice me. “I can’t believe she did that. I need to get my luggage off the plane.”

The lady gestures to the waiting area. “We’re getting that taken care of right now, Miss Reed. If I can get you to wait right here, someone will be bringing it to you shortly.”

“Can you believe what a bitch that girl turned out to be?” Peyton asks the lady.

The lady breaks into a smile. “Sorry about that. It was her ticket though, and she did say she had a good reason.”

“Yeah but…” Peyton says but the stewardess interrupts her as she points at me.

“Seems someone is very interested in you, miss.”

Peyton follows the lady’s finger and finally she lays her eyes on me. They open wide. “What the hell do you want?” she asks as she walks past me.

The stewardess calls out to her. “I need you to stay right here if you want your bags back, mam.”

Peyton turns back quickly and glares at me. “I have to stay, so you have to go.”

“What is it you’re thinking, love?” I ask as I walk slowly towards her as she seems about to take off running if I approach her too quickly.

“Do not, ‘love’ me, you jack ass!”

“Darling, really. What are you thinking? I thought we got back together last night. Isn’t that what happened? Or was I dreaming that?” I ask.

She holds up her left hand and wiggles her fingers at me. “You took my ring, and you left me alone. What do you mean asking me what I’m thinking? Obviously I’m thinking you got all freaked out again and decided I, no we, are too much for you.”

I laugh and quickly stop myself as her face goes red and I’m afraid she’s about to find something and hit me with it. “Look, you got everything wrong, baby. I took the ring to get it fitted. We’re going to pick it up in a few days and get our wedding rings. I wish you would’ve read some of my texts or took one of my phone calls.”

Her eyes go soft. “Really? You didn’t get freaked and leave me? You swear it?”

Slowly I move towards her and she stands still so I may be able to get a hold of her. I run my hands up her arms and pull her to me. “I swear it, love.”

She lets out a deep breath and lays her head against my chest. “Thank God! I thought it was over and I just wanted to die.”

I rock her back and forth as I hug her tight. “Never will it be over, Peyton. You and I are a family now. What we have will never be over. Not ever, love.”

Little sobs I hear as her body starts shaking and pull her back to find her crying. “I hated you so much. Like just a minute ago and now somehow I love you again. What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing, you just got a little bit stubborn and refused to listen to me and caused yourself a lot of heart ache for no reason, but that’s over now,” I say and pull her back into my chest and run my hand over her hair.

Thankfully a man shows up with her bags. I take one and place the strap over my shoulder and take the handle of the other and roll it as I take Peyton out of the airport and back to my car. Her face buried in my chest the whole way.

I’m not sure if it’s embarrassment or relief she’s crying with, but whatever it is, at least this little mishap is over.

Peyton

My head rests on the soft leather of Kip’s car. My eyes burn and my body aches from all the crying I’ve done. All for no damn reason too. What an idiot I feel like!

“Did I say I was sorry, Kip?”

He takes my hand and kisses it. “You did, and I accepted your apology. Now let’s just put that behind us and move forward. I can see why you thought what you did, and it was partially my fault for leaving without waking you anyway.”

I sigh and wonder what I did to deserve a man as wonderful as Kip. “I need to call my mother and tell her I’m not coming home. Or, do you want to go back and spend Thanksgiving with my family?”

His eyebrows furrow as he thinks then he looks at me and smiles. “Since this is our first holiday together, let’s do it with just the two of us. We’ll do the whole thing together. Go shopping and cook the food. I’ll give the staff the day off and the place will be all ours.”

“I’ve never cooked a turkey, but I have cooked a chicken so how much different could that be?” I smile. “I like that. Just the two of us.”

“Good, that’s settled and first thing next week, we’ll find you a doctor here and get a sonogram done and see what type of kid we need to decorate the nursery for.” I squeeze her hand and hold it on top of my thigh.

“I wonder how my parents are going to take me not living at least near them,” I say and a little homesickness trickles through me.

I thought I was going to sleep in my own bed tonight. Now it seems I’m about to see where I’ll be living. “Didn’t you tell me you had three mansions?” I ask as I look out the window and see one gorgeous mansion after another as we drive through Beverly Hills.

“I have one here, one is Brisbane and one in London.” He makes a turn and pulls up to a tall, black, ornate iron gate.

“So the palace is beyond these gates?” I ask with a giggle. “My Prince Charming is taking me to his palace.”

“Stop it, Peyton. Don’t make a big deal about it. It’s just a place to live. Is it big? Yes. Is it beautiful? Yes. But it’s just a home. Our home, now.”

He pulls up a long drive and I catch my first glimpse of the slightly pink colored walls. Gorgeous flowers surround a monster marble staircase. “Wow, marble on the outside. What could possibly be on the inside of such a grand structure?”

“More marble and some granite and even a little gold,” he says with a laugh. “It’s just a….”

I interrupt. “A home. Yeah I’ve heard. Would you rather I act like I’ve seen things much more grand than this and act blasé?”

He pulls into a massive garage filled with cars and one truck. “I just want you to make it feel like home to you.”

I smile and say, “If you’d like to know the truth, where ever you are is where I feel like home is.”

“There’s that romantic writer in you coming out again.” He takes my hand and kisses it. “Wait right there and let me get the door for you.”

He jumps out before I can tell him I can let myself out of the car. My door opens, and he holds his hand out.

I fight the urge to trail my hand over a bright red Corvette that he parked his Lexus next to. “I like your truck. You should take me for a ride later. It’s even taller than Levi’s.”

“You got it, babe.” His arm goes around me and it feels so good I lean into him and relish the moment. “Your car will be here within three days. They’re sending it out on the next truck.”

“My car?” I ask. “My Jeep?”

We walk into a huge area off the garage after he presses a bunch of numbers on a keypad at the door. “No, your Tesla. I sold it back to the dealer in Austin, and I called this morning. They hadn’t sold it, so I bought it back for you.”

My heart skips a beat. “I loved that car!”

“Good, then you’ll be happy to have it back.” We enter a huge and completely gorgeous kitchen.

“Wow! Is this where we’ll be making our first Thanksgiving dinner?” I ask as I look around in amazement. Three refrigerators, a gas stove that’s larger than any I’ve ever seen and an island that goes on for miles. “This is amazing!”

“It is, and after the holiday you can hire a cook. I had only a skeleton staff working while I was on tour. The groundskeeper and housekeeper were the only two I kept on.” On he leads me through a dining room with a table for twenty people.

I’m trying so hard to look at this place like my home, but it’s impossible. It’s like a museum or a fancy hotel or something. “Kip, is this the nicest one of your mansions?”

“It’s much more contemporary. And a whole lot newer. The one in London is the oldest and some say it’s haunted,” he says and gooses me.

“Ah!” I bat at his chest. “I’ll have to take my mother there. She loves a good haunted house. She thinks she’s psychic so we can let her test her powers.”

“That’s funny, mine does too. They should hit it off well. Come Christmas we can find out if you’d like to invite your family up. I can send the jet for them.”

“Oh can you, well how lovely,” I say with a snooty tone and he laughs.

Up a marble staircase we go, and he smiles as he looks at me. “You are the first woman I’ve ever brought here, Peyton. You are the first woman I’ve ever brought to my bed.”

I blush and look away. “Kip, stop.”

He opens the first door on the left and a giant four post highly polished red wood bed stands in the middle of the room. A black comforter covers it. He opens a door right off the bedroom and an empty room he gestures to. “I give you the nursery.”

We walk in and the first thing I notice is the beautiful windows and how they let in sunlight and can almost see our baby lying in a crib, bathed in the light. “This is very nice, Kip.”

“So this will do then?” he asks and scoops me up suddenly.

My arms go around his neck, and his chiseled chest and abs are hard against my ribs. Over to the bed he seems to be taking me. My heart starts to pound as I know what he’s about to do.

Gently, he lies me on top of the soft mattress. His fingers take the buttons of my shirt and undo them. He pushes the shirt back and runs his hands over my pink, lacey bra. “I get to feel these all the time now.”

I smile. “Until this little monster you created comes out, then they belong to him or her.”

“Well, for now they’re mine.” He runs his hands behind my back and unhooks the bra and pulls me up to take the shirt and bra all the way off.

I take the buttons of his shirt and undo them so I can see his perfect chest. My hands roam over his tight muscles and I let out a groan without realizing it. His hand moves over mine and it draws my attention to his handsome face.

“This is so right, Peyton. Never have I felt like something was so meant to be, but you and I, well, I have no doubts.” His eyes glisten and the deep blue seems even darker.

“That’s so damn good to hear. After the day I’ve had, it doesn’t hurt to be reminded that you have faith in us,” I say and pop the button of his jeans. “You want to drop those and let me play with what they’re hiding.”

His grin has a devilish quality to it. “I want you to do a hell of a lot more than just play with it.” He drops the jeans and my eyes grow large with how ready he is.

“Damn it, man.” I take him all in and smile then wiggle my finger. “Come to Mamma.”

The bed is exactly the right height for me to sit up and him stand right in front of me. Imagine that!

I run my hands around him and take his tight ass cheeks in each hand and pull him to me. My mouth slides over his erection and his hands tangle up in my hair as he makes a magnificent sound.

Long, deep strokes I make with my hands. My tongue runs along the underside, pressing against the hard ridge as it goes. The silky smooth skin over the hard as a rock dick makes an interesting combination.

Lightly, I press his ass harder and take more of him in. A slight gag I make then he slips past and down my throat. I’m elated at how it makes him groan and his hands stop twisting in my hair. He pushes my head to get as much of him in my mouth as possible.

“Fuck, baby, that’s awesome!” he growls.

I’m wet and growing hot as he seems more than pleased by what I’m doing to him. Faster I stroke him then his body stiffens and he pulls back. He pushes me back and yanks my skirt and panties off at the same time.

I wiggle up the bed a bit and he takes my ankles as he climbs on the bed, pushing them up as he makes his way up. My knees are bent and he runs his tongue along my inner thigh and over my hot pussy then devours my clit.

With a loud moan, I arch up and nearly fall apart with his hot touch. His hands run up and each one grabs a breast. Hard pinches he gives to the nipples. I cry out and squirm with how fantastic it makes me feel.

His tongue is doing incredible things to my clit and all of a sudden I’m bursting with little electric quakes throughout my body. “Kip! God! Kip!”

With a swift movement, he runs his tongue down my throbbing pussy and shoves his tongue into me, lapping up all the juices that are flowing with the orgasm. My heart’s pounding and I can barely breathe, then he’s on top of me and slamming his hard cock into my throbbing pussy.

The air is forced out of my lungs with his hard thrusts. His mouth goes to my neck, and he bites it then moans in my ear. “Fuck, baby, you feel so fucking good!”

The heat from his mouth makes me quiver and I arch up to meet each thrust he makes. Our bodies start to sweat and we slide against each other. His hard pecs move against my breasts, teasing the nipples and sending shooting jolts of complete ecstasy through me.

My nails dig into his muscled back as my body bursts into a spectacular orgasm. He nails me harder and faster until I’m a quivering mass of pleasure beneath him. Heat explodes inside me as he orgasms and his body goes all tight and rigid. Then it loses all tension and relaxes, leaving his weight on me. A feeling that I’ve come to need.

Softly I run my hands over his slick with sweat back. He murmurs near my ear. “I love you.”

I whisper it back to him and run one hand up to his silky hair. After a few moments of reveling in the complete satisfaction, Kip pulls the blanket back and pulls us under it. “Time for a little nap after such a rough day, don’t you think, love?”

I nod and let him move me around so he can spoon me from behind. His hand cups one breast as he snuggles into my back. “I sure do love these. It’s a damn shame I’m going to have to share them soon.”

And just like that, we fall asleep.

Kip

Though it is now late November, it’s still not too cold to take Peyton for a stroll down the sandy beach. I took her out for dinner and now we walk hand in hand as the sun begins to melt into the ocean.

“So, how’d your mother take the news? You never did finish telling me?” I ask her.

“Well, she’d like us to buy a place there, but I told her there was no way. Your work is out here. She’s a little disappointed. That’s okay though. It’s like I told you, home is where ever you are and you need to be here.”

I pull her close and put my arm around her shoulder. A little kiss I place on top of her cute little head. “We can get a place there too. After the first of the year we can get started on that. I do think it’s best to stay here until the baby’s born though. No reason to make a move until then. I know your mother will want to be around the baby too.”

“You know you’re beyond wonderful right?” she asks with a giggle.

“It never hurts to be reminded,” I chuckle.

A tall young guy with shoulder length dark blonde curls walks towards the water a little ways ahead of us. A jar in his hand. He opens the lid and a light dust falls out of it, then he reaches in a takes a handful and throws it out over the water. He seems to be saying something as he does it.

“What do you suppose he’s doing?” Peyton asks.

“Don’t know.”

We get nearer to him and hear him say, “I love you, Mom. Here you go, the Pacific, just like you wanted.”

I duck my head as it’s obvious he’s spreading his mother’s ashes and I’m sure he wants no one to bother him.

“Oh my! When did she pass?” Peyton asks and makes us stop.

“Peyton!” I look at her sternly. “I’m sure he wants to be left alone.”

He turns to us with a smile of all things on his amazingly symmetrical face. His eyes are hazel, a brown and blue hazel and even though he’s doing something most people would find a sad thing to do, his eyes say anything but that.

“No, that’s okay. I was just sending my mother’s ashes out to sea like she asked me to. I’m Blake Chandler from Lubbock, Texas.” He sticks his hand out for me to shake, but it’s a little dusty with his dead mom on it so I have to really struggle with myself to shake it, but decency overrides my disgust so I go ahead and shake.

“Kip and this is Peyton, she’s a fellow Texan,” I say and discreetly wipe my hand on my jeans after our handshake.

“Yeah? Where is it you hail from, Peyton?” he asks.

“A miniscule town called Smithville. It’s outside of Austin.”

He smiles. “Been there! They have an outstanding little bar-b-que place there. Me and my parents would eat there every time we went to Austin. Which was once a year. We had our little rituals and finding the best bar-b-que places was one of them. That one beats a lot of them.”

“So you live here now?” Peyton asks.

He shakes his head. “Nope, just had to come to the Pacific Ocean to drop Mom off. I traveled to New York first and dropped Dad off in the Atlantic then trekked it across the whole country for Mom.”

“Sorry to hear that,” I say.

He laughs. “The long trip or about them dying? Cause don’t be sorry about that. They went together, just like they always talked about wanting. It was peaceful too. A gas leak in their home took them out, nice and quiet as they slept. I can’t think of a more peaceful way to go, can you?”

Surprise fills me at his attitude. While kind of healthy it’s extremely odd.

Peyton smiles. “Good for you. What a nice way to look at it. So back to Lubbock you go then?”

“Yep. I’m staying tonight and trek it on back to Lubbock in the morning.” He looks out as the sun is disappearing into the water. He makes a little wave with his hand. “See ya on the other side, Mom.”

“We’ll let you have your moment,” I say. “It was nice meeting you.”

“Hey, just one quick question if you don’t mind,” he says. “The lottery in California, so what’s it up to?”

I shake my head. “I have no idea, I don’t play.”

He smiles and shakes his head. “Neither did I, but my parents did the craziest thing in their will. They left me three thousand dollars, but I have to use every penny of it on the lotteries in every state I pass through in my journey to drop their ashes off on both coasts. I have a hundred left for California.”

Peyton laughs. “They sound like cool parents.”

“They were older when they had me. I was their only kid. To say I was spoiled rotten is really an understatement. I think I turned out okay though. No real damage done. Well, I like to play video games more than some, but other than that I turned out pretty normal. Even though they were taken out a little earlier than say old age would’ve taken them, they did live a nice long life. Dad was seventy-one when he died, he was fifty when I was born and Mom was forty-eight when I was born so she was sixty-nine when she kicked it.”

“Wow, so you’re what, twenty-one then?” I ask.

He nods. “Yep, just turned legal last month.”

It’s getting dark pretty quick now so I wrap my arm around Peyton and start to head up to the car. “Got to get her inside before she catches a chill. Nice to meet you, Blake.”

“Nice to meet you guys too. Take care of each other. And congrats on that baby,” he says as he walks with us back up to the parking area. “It is both you all’s right? Shit! If it ain’t, I apologize.”

Peyton giggles. “It’s ours. We’re getting married as soon as possible. This is the second proposal this man has given me and I plan to get it done before either of us messes it up.”

“You two look cute as a bug in a rug, if you don’t mind me saying,” Blake says with a chuckle. “I bet the kid’s gonna be a real cutie.”

Peyton looks at him. “You have a girl, Blake?”

He shakes his head. “Not yet. No one girl has tickled my fancy yet.”

“I assume that’s how we were built, to need another person. It is different,” I say and shudder with a chilly wind.

Peyton gives my ribs a little jab. “I hope that shudder was for the breeze and not cold feet.”

I kiss the side of her head. “It was the breeze, baby.”

We get to the car and wave goodbye to Blake as I open the car door for Peyton and help her in.

I slip into the driver’s seat. “His story was sweet in a way about how his parents died together. In bed. I wonder if his father got some before he passed on.”

A sharp blow from Peyton’s small hand hits my shoulder. “Kip! How inappropriate!”

I shrug. “What? It would be the perfect way to go. A little loving, go to sleep, wake up in Heaven together. What’s so inappropriate about that?”

She shakes her head as I pull away. “It does make me think about when you die before me. How will I handle that?”

“Whoa! How come I’m dying first? It could be you. You’re much higher strung than I am. I can see a stroke taking you out. Then what will I do?” I ask as I pull out of the parking lot.

She shrugs. “You’re older than I am. You’ll definitely go first.”

“Well, I could make sure we go together. A little gas leak and vavoom! I would definitely get a piece of your action before we kicked it then,” I say and then laugh. Her eyes go wide and she looks at me like I’m actually serious.

How damn gullible can she be?

“Kip! That’s a terrible thing to say. What about our kids?”

I pull onto the freeway to head back to Beverly Hills. “They’ll be grown before I kill us.” I don’t even break a smile.

“Oh my God!” she says with a huff and crosses her arms. “You are crazy! So when we get old and if you come to bed all randy, I’m always going to be wondering if that’s the time you opened the gas valve and soon will be dead.”

“That’s right, baby,” I say and see her frown. “You know I’m just kidding right, love?”

Her eyes soften and she looks at me with relief in her hazel eyes. “Of course I know that.”

The way the tension leaves her body tells me otherwise though.

She is beyond precious!

Peyton

“The salt is behind you, not anywhere near the fridge. What are you doing way over there?” I ask as Kip is supposed to be handing me the salt but instead he’s pulling a beer from the fridge.

He pops it open and takes a long drink.

“Okay! Better! Now, continue bossing me, please.”

I stop stuffing the turkey and take my hand from its butt. “Salt please.”

He hands me the salt, finally and kisses the tip of my nose. “So, are they going to meet us in Vegas next week?”

“Yes, and now that you have kissed my nose, it’s tickling or itching or something. I have turkey ass all over my hands so will you please do me a favor and fix that for me?” I ask as I blow little puffs of air at my nose.

He takes a napkin and rubs it. “So my kisses itch or tickle, huh? You must be allergic to me then.”

With a smile, I say, “I’m sure I am. It’s not love that has me going nuts, it’s an allergic reaction.”

His arms wrap around me from behind and his mouth is hot on my neck and I wiggle to get away. “It’s love, baby. Pure, unadulterated, love.”

I give him a little jab in the ribs and he pulls away from me fast and shouts, “Ow, fuck!”

He’s holding his lower right side and his face is turning red. I’m positive I used my left elbow so what the hell is he faking hurt with the wrong side.

“I used my left elbow, funny man.”

“No, something’s wrong, Peyton.” He bends over. “Bad wrong.”

“Are you fucking with me?” I go and wash my hands and see him go sit down.

He moans loudly and beads of sweat break out on his forehead. “I’m not fucking with you, baby. Something's wrong. Call my Mom.”

I dry my hands on a dish towel and walk over to him. I touch his forehead and it’s not hot at all. A bit cool really. He groans and his hand hasn’t moved from the place he put it. “Kip, I’ve never even spoken to your mother yet. And you want me to call her and tell her what?”

“Ask her what to do. There’s something wrong,” he moans.

His cell is on the counter so I go get it and find his mom’s number and call it as he groans. “Hi, baby,” she answers.

“Um, this isn’t your baby, this is Peyton, Mrs. Dixon. Kip asked me to call you. He’s clutching his side and moaning in pain.”

“Hi, Peyton, it’s nice to hear your voice after all this time. Now which side is he clutching?”

“His right side, kind of low.”

“Take him to the hospital or call an ambulance please. Then call me back when you know which one he’s going to and his father and I will get there as soon as we can. We’re in Aspen but we can fly there.”

“Okay, bye.”

I look at Kip who looks horrible and say, “Looks like we’re spending Thanksgiving at the ER, baby.”

I put my arm around him and help him up as he says, “I’ve ruined out first holiday.”

Part Ten: Dim Star

Kip

Pain radiates through my right side and I can’t stand up straight. Forgoing an ambulance ride, Peyton drives me to the nearest hospital emergency room. Her hand pats my leg as we go, trying to reassure me all will be well.

“Don’t worry, babe. You’ll be better in no time,” she says as her lips form a tight line.

“Promise?”

She nods and gives me a quick glance. “Promise. Now don’t talk. Your face becomes paler every time you do that. It must hurt very badly when you talk.”

I nod and lay my head on the dashboard as I can’t stand to sit upright. The thought runs through my head that in just a few months it will be Peyton who I’ll be taking to the hospital in much the same pain I’m in.

“How long have you been hurting, Kip? It must’ve been at least a few hours or so.”

“Three days.” I grit my teeth with the pain the words cause me.

“Three days? You jackass! Why wouldn’t you say something? Why’d you wait until it hurt so damn bad you have to go to the emergency room? Why couldn’t you just admit you were in pain?”

My jaw tight, I answer, “I thought I was hurting over you.”

I turn my head so I can see her face and just like I thought I’d find, she’s frowning, like a whole face frown, no ordinary one. “Damn it, why do we have to both be so stubborn and afraid of our emotions? I have to admit that my stomach has ached as well. I can see why yours would too. We have to promise each other that we’ll both try our hardest to stop being immature assholes.”

I give her a nod and pull her hand off my leg and leave a kiss on it. “I promise.”

The lights of the emergency room fill the car as she pulls into the parking lot. “I’m going to get a wheelchair, you stay put.”

“No worries, mate,” I say then groan.

She gets out of the car and in less time than I expected she’s got my door open and her hand is on my shoulder. “Lean your weight on me, let me help you.”

I try hard not to put too much of my weight on her, but as I move the pain sends white heat through my entire body and not in a good way. “Shit!”

She gets me into the chair and slams the car door, pushing the lock button to make it beep then wheels me in. Straight up to the desk she takes me as I huddle over.

“I need him to be seen like right now!” Peyton tells the nurse behind the desk.

“I need you to fill this form out,” the woman in blue scrubs tells her as she pushes a clipboard towards me. “Then we can get him back into the ER.”

Peyton slams her hand on the desk next to the clipboard. “I’ll fill this out while you take him back to be examined. I need him seen now, not after this shit is filled out. Now!”

“Miss, what’s your name?” the nurse rises and asks.

“My name is Peyton Reed, and this is my fiancé, Kip Dixon.”

A sideways glance lets me see the nurse’s expression change from firm to apologetic.

“Oh! I had no idea. Take him to the side door and I’ll buzz you both back.” The nurse takes the clipboard. “You can fill this out while the attending physician checks Mr. Dixon out.”

Peyton smirks and pushes me to the door. “Your name certainly makes miracles happen, Kip.”

I wish it could save me from this pain as well. Now that’s the kind of miracle I need right now.

A small room we follow the nurse to and they take my blood pressure and ask me a lot of questions about all kinds of things that don’t make a difference in my opinion. She asks about my pain and I let her know it’s a ten.

Finally, the nurse wheels me to an examination room and a man in a white coat comes in. “I need you to get into the bed, Mr. Dixon.”

“Then I need help, because I can’t stand up, much less climb into that bed.”

Peyton gets in front of me to help me up and I shake my head. “It’s hurting much more now, and I’m afraid I’ll knock you down.”

She looks back at the doctor who looks like he weighs maybe a buck fifty. “Get someone!” she barks the order, and he moves like the wind to do her bidding.