One

 

CRYSTAL

One month earlier

 

Leaning my head back, I close my eyes and take a deep breath of the late morning air. The salty taste of the ocean hits my tongue and causes me to smile. I’m finally living in Hawaii after dreaming about it since I was eighteen years old. It’s a long way away from Nebraska, where I’ve lived all my life, to here. Standing on the beach reminds me of my parents, and the last time we took a family vacation.

Tears sting my eyes as I glance back toward the beautiful scene that’s in front of me. Watching the waves crash onto the shore, my mind travels back. To the time I last saw my parents before they left to go on a long overdue second honeymoon to Sri Lanka. The tsunami that hit it in 2004 took their lives. The day they were supposed to pick me up from my friends’ house is a day I’ll never forget.

My little feet pounded the floor as I rushed to the front door, excited to see my parents after a week of them being away. Don’t get me wrong, I loved spending time with my grandmother. The night before, I'd had a sleepover with my friend, since she was going to pick my parents up from the airport early. After being away from them for so long, well it seemed like a long time to an eight-year-old, I was eager to hug them and tell them all about my adventures while they were away. Plus, I knew they would’ve gotten me gifts from where they went. However, when I opened the door and found my grandmother alone with tears pouring down her face . . . I knew something was wrong.

Next thing I remember, was sitting on her lap while she explained they wouldn’t be coming back. That they were now with angels, and I'd be living with her. My mind couldn’t comprehend what was going on. For the longest time I thought that I must have been a bad girl for them not to return to me. Which led to my little mind thinking that if I did everything to be a better child, so that one day, maybe they would come back. When I turned thirteen, I finally fully understood exactly what happened, and why I'd thought that way for the longest time. There were never bodies for me to see asleep and buried. They were never found, leaving us with a visual service in their memory as our only option.

For the next few years, until I graduated high school, I continued to be everything good for my grandmother. It was too difficult to break the thought that she might be taken from me as well if I didn't behave. When I graduated, I learned that my parents had left me a substantial trust fund. My grandmother suggested we go to Hawaii to celebrate me finishing school. As my feet hit the sand on the beach the first time, flashbacks of the last time I was there with my parents flooded my mind. I felt their souls right there with me so profoundly, that it had me making a choice I never thought I would make at that age in my life.

It was then and there, on that beach with the memory of my parents fresh in my mind, that I became determined to make something of myself, then move there so I could always feel what I felt that day. Grandma was supposed to join me, but passed away when I was off to college to get my degree in English Lit.

Being alone for the first time in my life took its toll on me. The knowledge that I had no family left in the big bad world was a hard pill to swallow. Then I remembered that I really wasn’t alone; I had my best friend, Angela, who I’ve known since first grade. And the truth was there was no way I could have gotten through all my life challenges without her.

College life was harder than I thought it would be, which led to me learning that I really wasn’t cut out for college, but I found that I did have a knack for writing. I had the ability to write stories that captivated people; yet, I couldn’t stand being in the spotlight. Instead, I put my skills to use by becoming a ghost writer. I was fortunate enough to write for some of the biggest bestselling authors out there.

My job’s amazing and I love doing it. Readers loving what the author and I create, it brings so much joy knowing our words touch others. However, deadlines suck, and right now, I have the worst case of writer’s block I’ve ever had. And all because I saw him again after Angela and Curt’s wedding reception. When he tried to talk to me, I ran. I’ve avoided him since that one night in Kansas City. The one night that changed my life and blew my heart to pieces.

“Daddy! Look at that wave,” Maxim shouts, bringing me from my thoughts. Turning to the right, my eyes land on Kai, Myla and their two kids playing on the beach.

“Crystal, come sit with me,” Myla shouts and waves me over.

Taking my time, I walk towards my neighbors’ house. I know we're going to grill tonight since she’s craving steak, and then we’re supposed to watch a movie while Kai spends some time with the boys. She's forcing him to go, saying he needs a break from the kids. He's hardly ever away from his family, especially now that she’s pregnant with their third child.

Just as I’m sitting down, we hear Maxim giggle. “Daddy, Melanie’s naked again.”

“That girl’s a pain. Cute, but such a pain.” Kai takes off, trying to catch the little girl as she streaks along the waves crashing onto the beach.

“Thank you for including me with your family time, Myla,” I smile at her before taking a sip of the wine she has waiting for me. “I would’ve been bored out of my mind if I had to sit on that couch one more night with this writer's block I have going on.”

“So, watching my daughter streak across the beach is a much better plan? And we’re glad to have you over. It’s nice seeing you out of the house for once.” She smiles back before turning to watch her husband chase their daughter.

She’s right, being in the house all the time should be against the law when you live right on a beach. Especially since it’s the most beautiful and quiet one I’ve ever seen in my life. Having a private beach definitely has its perks.

Melanie’s laughter reaches us, as Kai wrestles the little girl back into her swim bottoms.

“I give her less than a minute before she’s out of them again.” Myla's expression is one I wish was on my own face. The love she has for her family shines from inside; something I thought I would have had by now. Groaning, I run my fingers through my shoulder-length, brown hair. “What were you thinking of? That man again?” Myla murmurs.

“Unfortunately, the answer is yes. I need to get him off my mind. That night threw everything for a loop and now I can’t write for shit.”

“Maybe we can set you up with Kai’s brother –” Myla starts.

“Leave my brother out of it, makamae.” Kai’s hand gently squeezes her shoulder as he speaks, causing Myla to reach up to touch him back. “He doesn’t need us interfering in his life.”

Seeing these two side by side, they aren't a couple that seems to suit on the outside. Until you really get to know them and realize they're perfectly matched. When I first met Myla, it was as though we'd been friends for years. She was slightly closed off, but something in her eyes made me feel like I could tell her anything, and it would be safe. Kai, on the other hand, scared me and I thought he would kill me when we first met. But, when he looks at his family, his face transforms. That’s the only time I ever see him look like he wouldn’t harm a fly.

“Shit,” Kai murmurs before storming off back to the beach.

My head turns to where Kai’s headed. Dread fills my stomach when I notice a teenager hanging out with the kids. Quickly, I scan the beach to find out where she'd come from. Off to the right, I spot a man rushing toward them. As he draws closer, my body begins to go on alert. Like it knows him. The need to get closer has me standing and moving before I realize it.

Five steps away, a name is called by a voice I never thought I'd hear again.

“Mads, it’s okay, sweet girl. Breathe.”

Before I can stop myself, his name quietly leaves my lips traveling in the wind right to his ears. His head snaps in my direction, and the shock and anger that crosses his beautiful face causes my gut to clench. Dread begins to fill me as I know this isn’t going to be good, and I’m not looking forward to what’s going to happen now.

 

CONTI

Four hours earlier . . .

 

“Mads,” I gently shake my sister’s shoulder trying to wake her up. “It’s time to open your eyes.”

Her hand swats at me causing me to chuckle; Mads is not a morning person and will let you know when you interrupt her sleeping schedule. And she hasn’t gotten much sleep since we got into Hawaii late last night. Once she saw the blue ocean as we drove by, I knew it was a pain getting her calmed down enough to go to sleep since she wouldn’t stop talking about playing in the water.

She hasn’t ever been out of Florida and didn’t do well on the flight here. After finally being in the air after an hour, she passed out and slept the rest of the way. The thought that maybe it wasn’t wise is still swirling around in my head, but her doctors all assured me that she'll do okay now that she's sixteen.

Raising a sixteen-year-old girl at twenty-five is hard. Adding in the fact that she’s autistic makes it almost impossible at times. Between the doctors, therapies, school, family time . . . I barely have time for my career. There are times that I can only squeeze in a two-hour nap before I have to go to work. Which isn’t ideal for what I do.

I went to the police academy shortly after high school. The need to secure an occupation with decent income was a must for me. My parents started doing drugs when I turned six years old. When I was nine, my mom announced that she was pregnant again. Not being able to afford much of anything since they became addicts, they couldn’t afford an abortion. Or medical treatment. My mom, however, not wanting to draw attention to the addiction they had, ended up quitting drugs long enough to carry and give birth to my baby sister. Who became my responsibility to take care of.

Over the years, we discovered something wasn’t quite right with Maddison, and eventually learned she was autistic.

Knowing that foster care would be even worse for her, I hid my parents secret. The need to study hard so I could get a scholarship to the police academy was the only thing that helped me get through the shit my parents put us through. My love for my sister ran so deep that I made a plan. And that plan was to eventually get custody of my sister who needed around the clock care. Graduating top of my class with the academy really opened up my options on where I could work. Immediately, I reported my parents and took my sister away. Two weeks after I assuming her care, I accepted a job at the PPD—Pensacola Police Department causing us to move across the country.

Over the years, I moved up and now instead of a beat cop, I’m a detective in the homicide and Special Victims unit. There are even times that the FBI and U.S. Marshals consult with me about cases. This last case caught national attention, and I found myself in the spotlight with the media often, which was a pain in the ass. So when it finally closed, I told the department I was taking a month and half off and going on vacation. Between work and taking care of a special needs child, I knew I needed a break from reality for a while. They told me to get laid while I was away, but all I could think of was her. The one who changed my whole world with one look, but then shattered it with the next.

Shaking my head to get her off my mind, I reach out toward Mads again. I don’t want to think of her during my vacation. One of the reasons I came here was to get away from her memory. I have a bigger obligation than thinking of the one who stole my heart, and smashed it all at the same time.

“Mads,” I gently shake my sister’s shoulder again. “It’s time to wake up, sweet girl.”

“I don’t want to get up,” Maddison moans.

“Come on. Don’t you want to go swimming in the pretty blue water?” At the mention of swimming, Maddison pops up from under the covers.

“Swimming, really, bubby?” The excitement on her pretty face has a grin forming on mine.

“Yep! Better hurry before we miss the dolphins,” I tickle her and the sound of her laughter makes my heart smile. She may be sixteen, but mentally, due to the autism, she’s on a six-year-old level.

Letting her up, my smile grows even bigger as she chatters happily about all the pretty shells she’s going to find. Having the ability to see her light up the way she does . . . makes everything I’ve done in so far in my life worth it. I just wish I had someone to share it with.

 

 

My face feels like it’s going to crack with how much it has smiled so far today. We just finished swimming with the dolphins and seeing Maddison have fun, without the fear of being in a large crowd, is worth all the money it cost for the private tour. I planned several things for her to do while we're here. She can handle small crowds, but when it gets too crowded, she loses her center of gravity. Being close to others makes her skin crawl. She describes it as ants crawling over her skin when people are too close, or touch her. The doctors explained it means she's touch sensitive.

With that diagnosis, we’re careful with our outings. Needing small crowds or private activities takes a hit on my wallet since they always cost more. But it’s worth it for her safety. Some businesses have been very accommodating, even going as far to charge us the regular price, but giving us a private lesson. I’ve found that many Hawaiians are very warm and welcoming to families with special needs.

My eyes are drawn to a secluded beach that's off in the distance. From what I can tell, there isn’t a soul on it.

That would be a great place to take Maddison so she can collect shells before lunch.

Getting the tour guide's attention, I wait while he slowly makes his way across the boat toward Maddison and me.

“Can you tell me how to get to that beach over there?” I shout over the waves when he bends toward me.

He nods after glancing back, then leans in. “It belongs to the families that live there. A private beach. But I’m sure they won't mind you taking your sister there. When we pull in, I’ll give you directions.”

Smiling, I nod my thanks and turn back to look out over the water. I’m so glad I came on this vacation.

 

 

I lag behind Maddison as she runs along the beach picking up shells and placing them into her bucket we bought on our way here. The tour guide wrote out directions from their dock to here, as well as how to get to the hut we rented for the week.

“Hi, I’m Maddison Elaine. What’s your name?” Mads calls, and I look up to see her talking to two children, a little boy and a little girl.

“We aren’t allowed to tell our names. What do you have in your hand?” the boy says, right as the girl yells out, “I’m Melanie!”

My chuckle carries out over the waves that are crashing on the shore. The little boy gives her a stern look, and it hits me that she's the youngest of the two and doesn’t understand that she shouldn’t share her name with strangers.

“Who in the fuck are you, and why are you near my children?”

To the left, a huge man storms toward Maddison. This isn’t going to be good. She’s going to break down, and I’m not close enough to stop it. As quickly as possible, I begin to rush toward them. When I finally reach her, my arms wrap around her. Pulling her to me, my hands start rubbing her back trying to calm her.

“Is she okay, Daddy?” the boy murmurs as they watch my sister trying to pull me closer.

“She’s okay. She just didn’t like how your daddy sounded. It scared her. Maddison’s autistic, and she doesn’t like loud noises,” I explain quietly as I continue to rub her back and arms.

“What’s that?” the girl asks scrunching up her nose.

“It means she’s special and thinks differently,” the man says softly.

“I apologize for just showing up. The tour guide said that the owners wouldn’t mind if we came. If you would like us to leave, I understand, and will as soon as I can calm her down.”

“Daddy can help. He always knows how to make me stop crying,” the girl states and smiles up at him. His face softens as he reaches his hand out to her. Mads softly cries out again and clutches me tighter.

“Mads, it’s okay, sweet girl. Breathe.” My hands make their way to her shoulders and I squeeze her hard, following the instructions that I was taught to make her feel grounded.

“Conti,” a soft gasp to the left has my face turning quickly toward a voice I never dreamed I'd hear again. My breath catches as I see Crystal staring back at me. An arm wraps around her shoulder as the pregnant woman standing next to her tries to comfort her.

Anger starts to build again when I remember the last conversation we had. The urge to scream at her is fierce.

“The guy?” the man murmurs then glances back at me. “I think something isn’t what you thought it was.” She just stares at us and nods. “I’m Kai. This is my wife, Myla and these two are our children, Maxim and Melanie. Why don’t you come up to the house? I think you might need a quieter place to help her relax.”

All I can do is nod; the need to get Maddison in a calm environment would go a long way in stopping the episode. Also, opening my mouth won’t help things right now. The need to tell her to get the fuck away from us is rushing through my veins. Turning and walking behind Crystal, Kai, Myla and his children, I can’t help but think . . . this isn’t the vacation I was hoping to have.