I don’t know what to expect from Blair’s compound, but it’s even more insane than I ever could’ve imagined.

We get off the plane in Honolulu and there’s a driver waiting for us, this Australian guy named Rick. He’s all big smiles and carries Remi’s bags slung over one shoulder.

We jam ourselves and our luggage into an old, beat-up Jeep. “Don’t mind the ride,” Rick says. “Necessary, for where we’re going.”

I glance at Remi. “Where are we going?” I ask.

Rick grins at me. “Not skittish, are we?”

“No, I’m not skittish,” I say, grinding my teeth. Remi’s grinning, loving this. “I’m just curious.”

“Don’t worry, mate, you’re in good hands.”

Rick peels out into traffic, and I have to hang on for dear life or else spill out onto the fucking pavement.

Remi finally looks about as concerned as I feel as we haul ass through Honolulu. We don’t get much of a tour as Rick yells nearly indecipherable stuff over his shoulder, pointing at random buildings and roads. Remi just shrugs her shoulders, shaking her head, the wind whipping in her hair.

We pull out of Honolulu, away from the city. We’re driving toward the interior of the island, away from city lights and sounds. Civilization gets sparser and the jungle thickens. Rick’s driving doesn’t slow down one bit as we slowly transition from pavement to dirt roads.

We wind our way through two big mountains, weaving along a treacherous path. Rick drives like he’s done this a million times but I can tell Remi’s about to freak out. I put my hand on her leg to steady her as we fly around a blind corner, the engine revving and the tires spinning.

Remi clutches my hand, and even though Rick straightens the Jeep out and slows down a bit, she doesn’t let go. We hold hands for the rest of the drive as we pass through more jungle, up a relatively steep climb, and back down into the center of what seems to be some kind of crater.

Blair’s compound is right in the center. “Finished it a few years ago,” Rick says as we pull up to what I can only describe as a Soviet-style brutalist building. It’s all concrete and harsh lines, and it doesn’t look like it belongs in the freaking jungles of paradise at all.

“She owns all this?” I ask him.

“Sure does. Bought it for some stupid amount of money. Apparently, we’re in the middle of an old, dead caldera, but if it ever wakes up and blows…” He trails off and shrugs. “I wouldn’t worry about that, though.”

Remi squeezes my hand. I can’t help but smile.

Rick parks the Jeep outside the front door and we slowly climb out. Remi comes to her senses and releases my hand just before Rick can notice. I can feel her sweat still drying on my palm as we head into the building.

It’s practically a maze, and right away I can tell that whoever designed this building is certifiably insane. “You’ll figure it out sooner or later,” Rick says, following hallways that twist, turn, and end randomly. We step through a few doors and pass a few other open ones. The noise of people talking and moving is all around us, but we don’t see a single other living soul.

It’s spooky as hell. I’m positive that Blair did all this herself.

We step through a pair of double doors with lions carved onto the handles. Rick glances back at me. “This is the residential wing,” he says. “You two will probably spend most of your time here, if you’re lucky.”

I glance at Remi. She gives me a weird, uncomfortable smile. Lucky? she mouths, and I just shrug.

We step into a carpeted section of the building. It looks a lot like a midrange hotel, actually, with almost generic and inoffensive décor. The rug is patterned and everything is vaguely modern, but still somehow cheap, with a layer of slime that’ll probably never come off, unless there’s a nuclear holocaust. Even then, probably not.

We follow Rick through a much more orderly set of halls before we finally stop outside of a pair of doors. He bustles around in his pockets before producing two keys, one of which he hands to Remi, and the other he plops into my palm.

“These are your rooms,” he says, “101 and 102, nice and simple.” He gestures back the way we came. “Don’t go back through that double door without an escort.”

“We aren’t allowed in there?” I ask him, suddenly uncomfortable with the idea that there are places we can’t go in here.

“No,” he says with a laugh. “You’ll just get lost as hell and the engineers hate having to help people find their way. You don’t wanna mess with the engineers here, mate. They’re the real stars.” He rocks back on his heels, arms crossed. “Anyway, head that way to the mess, that way to the gym, and that way to the lounge.”

“When will we see Blair?” Remi asks him.

“Soon,” he says, looking at his watch. “She wants dinner with you two. Get settled and you’ll see her soon.”

“Thanks,” she says, and he nods.

“Need anything, just dial 555 on the phone in your room and someone will help. Blair’s pulling out all the stops for you folks, full service and alla that. Have a nice stay, I s’pose.” He gives us a nod, turns, and stalks back the way we came.

I’m standing there, not sure what to make of this. “Are we in hell?” I ask Remi vaguely.

“I think so. I mean… who lives in a labyrinth with a weird hotel in the center?”

“Crazy people,” I say seriously, meeting her gaze. I break into a huge grin. “This is gonna be fun.”

She sighs and unlocks her door. “We’ll see.” She disappears inside and leaves me standing there in the hallway, staring at the floor.

I don’t know what to expect, but I can’t stop smiling. We’re in the middle of the minotaur’s lair, stuck together against all odds. If there exists anywhere in the world a better place to show Remi that I’m not the monster she thinks I am, I can’t think of it.

I slip into my room, where my bags are mysteriously already waiting for me. I guess someone took a shortcut to get here first, which I tuck away into the back of my mind for later.

I strip down, shower, and get changed. When I’m done, just as I’m getting settled on the bed, there’s a knock at the door. I glance at my watch. Only a half hour has passed since Rick left, although it’s a little after six.

I sigh and get up. Standing outside is a short woman with tiny eyes and pale skin. She’s wearing what I can only describe as a porter’s outfit from the ‘20s. It’s like she’s an actual bellhop from an old-timey hotel.

“Hi,” I say to her.

“Blair requests your presence,” she says. I notice Remi is standing in the hallway behind her and just gives me a shrug.

“Don’t want to keep her waiting.” I follow the little porter, falling in line next to Remi. This time, our path is more straightforward, sticking to the hotel-like decor of the residential wing. We pass a few other people that all smile and nod, which is almost disconcerting. Finally, the bellhop takes us through a side door and we step into what looks like a great hall from a Viking’s longhouse.

It’s completely bizarre. I can’t describe or image how jolting it is to be walking through a modern hotel and suddenly step into a medieval Viking’s hall. Blair’s sitting at the head of the table and stands as we approach.

“Welcome to Spine,” she says.

“Hi, Blair,” Remi replies, coming around to the table to kiss her gingerly on the cheek. Blair flinches slightly, but doesn’t pull away.

“What do you think?” Blair asks as we sit down, Remi on her left, and I take her right.

“It’s incredible,” I say. “This room alone is almost bizarre.”

“Yes,” she says vaguely. “It’s one of my favorites.”

“Why?” Remi asks her. “I mean, why this… Viking thing, with the hotel right out there?”

“I like the contrast,” Blair says simply. “We strive for contrasts here.”

Remi gives me a meaningful look and I lock that away in my mind.

“Well, it was a good trip and we’re excited to get to know you more,” I tell her.

She nods imperceptibly. Suddenly, three women, all small and pale and wearing that bellhop outfit, come out from a side door carrying trays covered with domed tops. They place the trays in front of us and remove the domes, revealing…

McDonald’s French fries and chicken nuggets, artfully arranged.

“Enjoy,” Blair says, totally deadpan as the bellhops scurry off. I look at Remi and she seems as bewildered as I feel.

I start eating the food. It’s McDonald’s, all right. I’m not really in the mood for unhealthy amounts of fast food, but I’m not going to be rude to my host and ignore it. Remi does the same thing, picking at the food, and sipping from the drinking horns in front of us. At least those have water instead of mead.

I’m trying to wrap my head around the idea of eating Chicken McNuggets in a Viking replica longhouse and drinking water from what appears to be an actual animal horn when Blair clears her throat. I barely hear it at first, despite the deep and almost deafening silence in the room.

“I am happy the two of you are here,” she says softly.

I perk up and watch her. I feel Remi straightening across from me.

“While you are here, you are free to do as you please. Nothing is off limits. You may leave whenever you wish, although please, tell someone before you wander off. We are deep in the jungle and it would be very easy for you to get lost.”

“I don’t plan on doing any serious hiking,” Remi says lightly.

“Very good.” Blair clears her throat again. “I do not think you know how much it means to me that you are both here. I hope… I hope we can create something good together.”

I think it’s the most I’ve ever heard her speak. “Thank you for your hospitality,” I say to her, taking on her formal diction. “We really appreciate all of this.”

“Of course.” She stands. “Enjoy your meal of McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets. They are fresh, I assure you.” She turns and leaves out a side door without another word.

I’m just sitting there, stunned as hell, when Remi lets out a little laugh.

“What?” I ask her.

“I didn’t know there was such a thing as ‘fresh’ McNuggets.”

I grin at that. “Good point.”

She shakes her head, clearly as bewildered as I feel. “Seriously, Justin, what the hell is happening here?”

“I have no clue,” I say softly.

“Look at this place. I mean… it’s amazing, right? And totally batshit crazy?”

“Beyond amazing, beyond crazy.” I take a bite of a nugget, the freshest I’ve ever tasted. “I have to admit, I love it.”

“I do too.” She laughs softly. “What do we do now?”

“Whatever we want, I think. We’re here for a week, so… we might as well enjoy it.”

“And get some work done.”

“Absolutely. But also have fun.”

She sighs, but she’s smiling. I love that smile more than I care to admit.

“Okay, fine. I’ll have some fun, but not too much.”

“Just enough fun sounds good to me.” I finish my horn of water and look around. “So, uh, what? Do we just, like, leave?”

Almost as if by magic, the same bellhop porter girl appears from a corner. I’m fucking startled as she practically materializes.

“Were you there the whole time?” Remi asks, eyes wide.

“Yes, mistress,” she says.

“Mistress? What the fucking…” Remi trails off as I laugh to myself.

“What is wrong, master?” The girl cocks her head.

I stare in horror at her and it’s Remi’s turn to laugh.

“Please just call us Remi and Justin,” I say quickly. “Seriously, no more of that… master… stuff.”

“As you wish, Justin.” She shrugs a little. “I’ve been instructed to treat you two as my owners.”

“Owners?” Remi echoes.

“As if I were your slave.”

“Oh, fucking…” Remi groans and stands up. “Seriously, don’t ever say ‘slave’ again, okay?”

“Beyond fucked up,” I whisper, trying not to laugh. It’s so bizarre and weird and wrong that it’s almost funny.

“Mistress Blair has a strange sense of what’s appropriate,” the girl admits.

“Look, what’s your name?” I ask her.

She blinks. “Tara,” she says. “Nobody ever actually asks my name.”

“Well, nice to meet you, Tara. Please don’t ever say the word ‘slave’ ever again. You can act like our friend and help us out.”

She looks skeptical. “Friends?” She sighs. “Will I still get paid?”

I look at Remi like, I think I’m losing my fucking mind, can you believe this shit? and Remi just laughs softly.

“Of course you will.” She stands up slowly and nods at me. “Let’s go back to our rooms and get some rest, okay?”

“Fine by me.”

“Follow me,” Tara says, heading back the way we came.

We walk behind the girl, maybe ten paces back. I study the way she moves and I’m pretty sure she can’t be any older than sixteen.

She drops us off outside of our rooms and takes her leave, melting away down the hall. I stand there, trying to make sense of what’s going on around me while Remi leans up against a wall.

“Well, this is officially the most insane thing ever,” she says.

“Seriously. I heard this place was wild, but this is…”

“Way beyond that,” Remi finishes for me.

I nod slowly. “Way, way beyond. We’re in another fucking dimension.”

“We’re in Spine.”

I look back at her, frowning slightly. “Excuse me?”

“Spine.” She gestures around her. “This is their world.”

It takes me a second to understand. “You think that Blair modeled this compound after her virtual reality game?”

“Maybe not exactly, but it kind of functions that way, right? Timelines are all mixed up, social norms are totally dispensed with, weird crap juxtaposed against other bizarre shit…” She trails off, shaking her head. “It’s a total mishmash of everything Blair likes.”

“It’s Spine,” I repeat softly.

“Yeah.”

“So how do we use this place to create any kind of cohesive vision for their brand?”

She hesitates. “I have no fucking clue.”

I laugh a little. “Okay, that’s actually comforting. At least I’m not the only one groping around in the dark here.”

We stand there silently for another minute. I shift toward her, eyes roaming down her body. She doesn’t flinch away and it’s like the unrelenting weirdness of this place brings us together, the only sane people in a world full of the insane.

Finally, she breaks the spell. “I’m exhausted,” she says. “I think I’m just going to go do some work then sleep a bit.”

“Okay,” I say softly. “I think I’m going to explore.”

“Good luck. Remember what Rick said.”

I grin and look around. I can’t see Tara, but I suspect she’s lurking nearby. “Don’t worry. We made a new friend today.”

Remi laughs a little and turns away. I watch her disappear back into her room. I stand there for a second, thinking about bringing her back out and making her explore with me, but I let her go.

I know I’ll have other chances, even if I’m supremely impatient to taste her here and now, right away, right in this moment.