Chapter 9
Nicole was very conscious of Jared’s arm under her legs, of his bare chest pressed against her and it was all she could do not to kiss him. Jared was painfully aware of the same things and his groin tightened, reminding him that he was still in his wet jeans. He set Nicole down by the fire then turned and went back to where the gear was piled in the back of the cave.
When he reached for his belt again, Nicole pulled her knees up and buried her head in them, her sweatshirt slid up her legs just a bit exposing a shapely thigh and just a bit more. Jared sucked in a deep breath wondering what he was doing, seducing Nicole was a bad idea, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself, he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. But he had to stop this before it got out of hand, although he wasn’t sure if he was capable of not touching her, of not making love to her.
He was rummaging though his bags when that thought hit him and he had to stop what he was doing for a second. Sex had never been anything more than a way to either satisfy his needs or to escape for a while, but with Nicole he knew that it would mean so much more. The old Jared would have taken what he wanted and never looked back, but the new Jared didn’t want to hurt Nicole, and he was afraid that he would hurt her.
Once he was dressed, he added more wood to the fire and sat back down next to Nicole, all too aware that she had little on besides the sweatshirt. He could feel the tension in her body and his teasing mood was suddenly gone, replaced by a need so compelling it took his breath away. Nicole began to shiver again, and he pulled her to him without even thinking, his protective instincts taking over.
At first, she simply shivered in his arms, but then she began to relax, and her body stilled. The silence in the cave grew as the minutes passed, each of them distinctly aware of the other, but unwilling to take the first step toward what they both knew was inevitable. Both opened their mouths to say something but then changed their mind, no words able to express what they were feeling.
A loud clap of thunder made Nicole jump and burrow deeper into Jared’s arms, and before he could stop himself he tipped her head up and kissed her. Nicole had been waiting for that kiss, wanting it, but when it happened it was so much more powerful than she’d expected. It took her breath away, made her body hum, and left her wanting more. But Jared pulled away, leaving her feeling empty and bereft.
“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that.” He said, unable to resist stroking Nicole’s face with his thumb.
Nicole’s heart was hammering in her chest and she knew that she wanted Jared to kiss her again, wanted more than just a kiss and she didn’t care what happened afterward. She was a grown woman who knew almost nothing about passion or love, and although she knew that this wasn’t love there was plenty of passion between she and Jared.
“It’s okay, I wanted you to.” She said, looking down in her lap afraid that if their eyes met, she’d do something she’d later regret.
Jared wished that she hadn’t said that, it was almost like giving him permission to do it again, but he stopped himself. Nicole deserved more than he could give her, a man who could commit himself to being with her, who would be there for her. That man wasn’t him and he’d have to find a way to make her understand that it had nothing to do with her, that it was him and his crazy mixed up life that stood between them.
He pulled away from her, making her sigh with displeasure, then shifted so he was facing her instead of the fire. Then unable to resist touching her once more, her took both her hands in his. “I wish there could be so much more between us, but I can’t do that to you. When we get back I have to go home to Juneau, I have responsibilities there that I can’t ignore.”
It was then that Nicole remembered Gina. “Gina is waiting for you. I understand.” And she did, all too well. Gina was the kind of woman that Jared would marry, beautiful, sophisticated, and a perfect match for his political career.
Jared stared at her for a second, he’d been thinking about the men who’d been supporting his political campaign, not Gina. “It’s over with Gina.” He said, then added, “It had been for a while, I never should have brought her with me to the wedding.”
Nicole only looked at him, still not sure what he was trying to tell her, but she wanted to give him an out, so she got up from the ground and headed for the sleeping bags. “It’s okay Jared, I understand. I think I’m going to go to bed now, I’m kind of tired.”
Jared was on his feet and following her almost immediately. “Wait, I want to make sure you understand that I have to go back to Juneau and face the men who’ve put their trust in me. I have to tell them that I’m going to turn my back on them and fight for renewable energy. I don’t know how I’m going to do it or how it’s going to affect the rest of my life. In three weeks I’ll go home, and I don’t know when I’ll be back, it just wouldn’t be right to start something and then leave.” Jared said, knowing that he still wasn’t being totally honest with himself or Nicole, if he was honest, he was afraid that once he’d become involved with Nicole he wouldn’t be able to leave her.
Nicole was suddenly faced with one of the biggest decisions of her life, she wanted Jared in a way that was almost painful, and knew that if they had sex, she would only want him more. She knew deep down in her heart that he had to go back, had to face his life in Juneau, but that was three weeks from now and right then all that seemed important to her was that they were together.
When she didn’t say anything for a long time, Jared opened his mouth to say more, but Nicole reached up and put her fingers over his lips. “I know all that Jared, and I don’t care. A very intelligent woman recently told me that sometimes we need to live in the moment and let the future take care of itself, and I think this is one of those times. I don’t know what’s going to happen down the road, but I do know that I’ll never forgive myself if I walk away from you right now. Life is too short to not take what fate gives us and enjoy it, I’ll worry about the rest later.”
Jared thought his heart was going to burst with pleasure and something else, something he was too afraid to label because it felt a great deal like love. “Are you sure? The last thing I want to do is hurt you Nicole and I’m afraid you’ll be hurt.”
Nicole reached up and ran her fingers over Jared jaw, thinking that she liked him unshaven, liked the way it made him look rugged and strong. “Why don’t you let me worry about that.” She said, then stretched up on her tip toes and kissed him.
Jared wanted to protest further but Nicole tasted so good, he couldn’t stop the kiss, especially when her tongue darted into his mouth. She was cautious at first, not sure what to do, but when Jared moaned she became bolder, delving her tongue deeper into his mouth. Then running her hand up and down his chest as she’d wanted to do for so long, his chest was just as solid and firm as she’d expected, and the muscles seemed to respond to her touch.
Jared pulled her to him, and her arms went around his neck, her body molded to his and Nicole marveled at how warm Jared was. His hands began to roam, and she didn’t stop him when he cupped her naked butt in his hands and squeezed, instead she let out a little moan that matched Jared’s when he realized she didn’t have anything on under the sweatshirt.
Nicole could feel Jared’s erection against her stomach, it pulsed and moved as if it was alive and suddenly she became nervous. She had little sexual experience, had never felt this kind of all-consuming need. It scared her more than she’d imagined it would. Jared sensed the change in her, felt her body stiffen in fear and stopped what he was doing.
“Nicole, have you changed your mind?” He whispered, his mouth inches from hers.
“No.” She answered immediately, but then added. “I haven’t… I mean…once… but that was years ago.”
Jared understood at once what she was trying to say and something in him rejoiced that he would be the one to release the passion that was inside Nicole. It was antiquated and old fashioned to feel happy that no other man had ever affected Nicole this way, that he and he alone would show her what was possible between a man and a woman.
He cupped her face with his hands, then kissed her on the nose and said, “Don’t worry love, I’ll take care of you.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth he had a strange feeling that they were true, that he’d just promised more than he’d intended to.
But it was just what Nicole needed to hear. She relaxed against him and turned her face up for a kiss, which Jared was more than happy to give her. When he’d kissed her until her knees were weak and her heart was pounding, he slid his hands up inside of her sweatshirt and found her breasts, cupping them in his big hands and gently massaging them until Nicole threw her head back in pleasure.
He kissed her exposed neck, then slid one hand down her belly, across her stomach until it rested at the juncture of her thighs. Nicole instinctively opened her legs for him, the tingling inside her becoming a buzz of pleasure when his finger slid between her folds. She moaned and clung to Jared who found her swollen nib and began to rub it. Nicole’s knees buckled when almost instantly the buzz turned to a roar, her body tensed, and waves of pleasure cascaded over her.
When her body stilled, Jared pulled the sweatshirt over her head, stripped off his clothes and pulled her down onto the sleeping bags. Nicole understood what had just happened, but still felt oddly unsatisfied, her body still throbbing, demanding more. Jared laid down beside her and pressed his naked body against hers, sending shivers of longing through her.
He took her hand and guided it to his throbbing penis and wrapped her fingers around it, she was apprehensive at first but when she saw the pleasure it brought him, she became bolder. Her pleasure was forgotten, suddenly it became very important that he feel as wonderful as she did, so she stroked him like he’d showed her, until Jared could stand it no longer.
Reaching down between her legs, he slid his finger inside her, preparing her for what would come next, but Nicole needed no preparation. She was wet and hot, and when his slid his finger in and out of her, her hips came up to meet him, driving him wild with the need to be inside her. He could feel the tension building in her, her muscles tensing as the pleasure built, and wanted to be inside her with a driving need he’d never experienced before.
He slid between her legs and parted them further, then bracing himself, he slowly entered her. Nicole was shocked at first to feel Jared buried so deeply inside her, but that alarm quickly turned to pure pleasure when he began to gently rock his hips. Then unable to help himself, he thrust into her over and over, Nicole’s whimpers of pleasure all he needed to drive him over the edge.
Jared’s body went stiff as his orgasm washed over him, Nicole’s body responding by clenching around him as she too tumbled into oblivion, her nails digging into his shoulders as her body, beyond her control, took her higher than she’d been before. As the pleasure drained away, she was left with an intense feeling of well-being, as if she’d found the one thing that had been missing from her life.
Jared too was marveling at the experience, wondering why he’d waited for so long, when reality threatened to intercede, but he pushed thoughts of the future from his mind and simply let himself live in that one moment. They fell asleep wrapped together in the sleeping bags, neither caring that the storm raged on outside, the warmth of the cave and their bodies enough for right that moment.
When they woke the next morning wrapped in each other’s arms, Nicole didn’t want to move, but the call of nature had her shifting around uncomfortably. It was still raining outside and the last thing she wanted was to go outside in the storm, but as she lay there she noticed that the violence of the storm had passed. Finally, unable to stand it any longer she started to roll out of the sleeping bags, but Jared tightened his arm around her, and pinned her to him.
“Where are you off to?” He asked, his voice scratchy with sleep.
“I need to go outside.” She said, suddenly embarrassed at the thought of getting up naked in front of him.
Jared saw the blush come to her cheeks and smiled, Nicole was the opposite of the woman he usually dated who thought nothing of flaunting their bodies if they thought it might help their cause. He got up out of bed and rummaged around until he found her sweatshirt, then handed it to her.
“I’ll go first, see just how bad the storm still is.” He said, making her blush even darker when he calmly found a pair of jeans and a shirt in his bag.
As soon as he was out of the cave, Nicole sprang to her feet and slipped into the sweatshirt, then tried to smooth her hair down sure that it was a mess of tangled curls. By the time Jared came back, she was feeling much more confident, and when he put his jacket over her shoulders and handed her boots to her, she kissed him as if it was perfectly normal.
“Hmm, if you keep doing that I won’t let you go outside.” Jared said, with a huge smile on his face.
Later that day, Nicole was hanging the last of her clothes above the fire to dry, glad that who ever had been in the cave last had left them an ample supply of firewood, when Jared came back from trying to get a hold of Sam. He shook the water from his rain gear and hung it up where she pointed, then crossed over to where she was standing and kissed her like they hadn’t seen each other in weeks.
When he tried to take the kiss farther, she pushed him away laughing, glad that she’d finally been able to get dressed. “Stop that and tell me what you found out.” She said, resting her cheek on his chest listening to his heart beat.
“Only if you promise me another kiss.” Jared said, then stepped away when she tried to hit him. “Okay, okay. Sam says the storm is raining itself out and should be gone by tomorrow some time. They can’t do anything until Seth gets there and he can’t leave until the storm stops, so we might just be able to get there in time.”
Nicole breathed a sigh of relief, it wasn’t all that important to her to be there when the mine was blasted closed, but it seemed to be very important to Jared. “Then we’ll just have to be ready to leave as soon as it stops raining. We went at least six miles in the wrong direction to get here, that’s a lot of time to make up.”
“Sam suggested a different route, it’s a little bit harder trail but it should save us some time. If we put in two good days, we’ll get there about the same time Seth does.”
“Good, I know it’s important to you, I’d hate to miss it.” Nicole said, stepping back into Jared’s arms and hugging him.
“I’m not sure why, but I want to see that mine closed, know that no one else will ever die there again.” Jared said, relieved to have someone to talk to about the mine.
“Well, we’ll just have to be ready to leave as soon as it stops raining.” Nicole said, pushing away from him to check the drying clothes.
Jared pulled her back into his arms, “But that’s not going to happen until tomorrow, we’ve got all day and I can think of a few things that we can do to fill the hours.” He said, then brought his mouth down on hers.
The rain had stopped the next morning when they woke up, so they didn’t linger in bed, as much as they both wanted to. They’d been as ready to leave as they could be, so it only took an hour to eat a quick breakfast and get on the road. The trail was wet and muddy which made it even more difficult than it already was, but they took it slowly, neither an expert on the four-wheelers they wanted to arrive in one piece.
The day was beginning to fade when they found the spot that Sam had recommended for their camp that night. They’d been on the trail for more than twelve hours, exhausted, hungry, and dirty. It was a thrill to top a rise and see miles and miles of freshly planted trees. It was a beautiful if haunting sight, but as they got closer Nicole realized that not only were the tress healthy, but there was a fresh blanket of green shoots popping up out of the ground.
They pulled their four-wheelers to a stop and just stared, neither able to voice the emotions that were running through them. Nicole knew that Sam had sent them this way on purpose, he wanted Jared to see what was possible, how something so damaged could come back to life with just a little help.
Jared was the first to break the silence, “It’s strangely beautiful.” He said, looking at Nicole who felt the same way, but could only nod and look back to the trees again.
They sat in silence for a long time, each lost in their thoughts, but it was beginning to get dark and they needed to set up camp. “I guess we should unload, start a fire and get something to eat.” Nicole said, getting off her four-wheeler.
“I have an idea.” Jared said, digging around in their supplies and pulling out a tarp. “Let’s not set up the tents, let’s just sleep out here by the fire.”
Nicole was exhausted and not setting up tents would save them a lot of time and effort, plus then they could sleep together since neither tent was large enough to hold them both. “I think that’s an excellent idea. Do you want dinner or the fire?”
“I’ll take the fire.” Jared said, and headed out of camp to get firewood.
That night after they’d washed some of the dirt off and had a good dinner, they slipped into the sleeping bags and cuddled up together. The moon was full giving the trees an eerie illumination, but they could still see the stars in the night sky. The chill in the air made Nicole shiver, but the fire was warm and Jared’s body heat penetrated her body, leaving her feeling comfortable and cozy. As she drifted off to sleep, she knew that she’d remember this night for the rest of her life, it was one of the moments that could never be forgotten.
She’d only been asleep for a few minutes when Jared’s body stiffened in alarm. Laying with her head on his chest, she couldn’t see anything but the sky, so she tried to sit up, but his arm clamped tightly around her. “Don’t move, there’s a bear down in the new trees.”