Catrina
“WOULD YOU CARE FOR MORE tea?” Denise, the Lincolns’ housemaid, asks, her thin brow quirked up as she holds the ceramic teapot in front of me while waiting for an answer. I glance toward her and realize I must’ve been lost in my own thoughts. It happens often, especially after spending time with Heath.
“Yes, please.” I give her a slight nod and a fake smile as my thoughts go back to the way Heath made love to me last night. Lifting my teacup to my lips, I take a sip as I force myself not to let out a snicker at the mere thought of what one might think if they were to witness Heath’s type of lovemaking. The way he tore my panties off my body and pushed my thighs apart. My muscles clench as I recall the way he ate my pussy like a starved man before he spread me open and fucked me like a wild animal. No, not like a wild animal. Like a madman. My madman.
“Catrina, you’re awfully quiet,” Delores Lincoln notes. “Is everything okay?”
Resisting the urge to roll my eyes over her false attempt at sounding like she gives a damn about anything other than herself, I plaster on my mastered saccharine smile, tilt my head to the side slightly, and nod once, just as I’ve been trained to do thanks to my many years of finishing school. “Of course, I’m just thinking about the upcoming garden party.” Delores grins back then turns her attention to her daughter, Isabel, regarding her as though she’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. Isabel is pretty, I guess, in a boring, innocent sort of way with her wide hazel eyes and smooth pale-blond hair.
“I recently stumbled upon the most adorable bakery while shopping with Clarissa. Sinful Delights. At first glance I was skeptical as it’s located in Cobble Hill, but I must say their brownies were delicious. Clarissa ordered the rhubarb pie, and while I probably shouldn’t have, I splurged and tried a piece. It was simply delectable.” Her eyes widen like she’s just confessed to purchasing a nine-inch dildo instead of just admitting to eating a pastry in Cobble Hill. My tea goes down the wrong way at the image of Delores with a large, thick, rubber dick, and I have to cover my mouth and fake a cough to hide my reaction.
“Mother, what in the world were you doing in Cobble Hill?” Isabel scrunches her nose up in disgust, and for the millionth time during this tea time, I force my eyes not to roll upward.
“Clarissa needed to size a woman for a wedding and unfortunately she lives over there. You know Clarissa, she’d design a wedding gown for a homeless woman if she begged her nice enough. Anyway, I was thinking we could order from them. You know, help out the less fortunate.” She nods emphatically and I stifle a snort. Cobble Hill is one of the top ten wealthiest neighborhoods in New York. I know this because sometimes when Heath works from home he talks to me about his clients and what he and my father are working on to expand the business. I love that he includes me and speaks to me like I’m his equal, as opposed to treating me like I’m nothing more than a brainless bimbo—like most men treat their women.
“I think that can be arranged.” I set my teacup down and pick up a piece of biscotti. I take a bite and force myself to choke down the cardboard flavored treat, when what I really want to do is spit it out into my napkin. That wouldn’t be very ladylike, now would it?
“Oh, Elliot!” Delores stands to greet her son, as does Isabel, and after taking a sip of tea to wash down that horrible excuse of a dessert, I do the same.
“Ladies.” Elliot gives his mother a kiss on each of her cheeks before he pulls me into his arms for a hug. When he releases me, he backs up slightly and eyes me skeptically. I avert my gaze elsewhere, not able to look him in the eyes, fearful he’ll be able to see what I refuse to say. That while it’s all but been arranged since I was a little girl, that one day I’ll become Mrs. Elliot Lincoln, my heart will never beat for him the way it pounds for the man I really love. Heath. The man whose passion burns so brightly it lights up my soul and sets my body on fire. It’s Heath who pulls me out of my mundane life and into our own little fantasy world. But that’s all Heath will ever be to me. A fantasy. I might be able to touch him and see him and make love to him, but the love we feel for each other will never become a reality.
“Catrina, my love, you look as beautiful as ever.” Elliot smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes and I worry he’s onto me. That he knows my thoughts aren’t about us. That my dreams don’t include him. That even though the bastard might have my father wrapped around his wealthy little finger, he’ll never truly have me. He might one day have my body, but he’ll never have my heart and especially not my soul.
“Thank you, Elliot.” We all have a seat and of course, he sits right next to me, his hand landing on my thigh and squeezing it softly. Everything he does is soft.
The way he kisses me.
The way he touches me.
The way he has sex with me.
Soft, soft, soft. There isn’t a passionate bone in his body.
“We were just discussing the garden party, which will be taking place next month. Catrina has been such a godsend handling all the little details.” Delores smiles sweetly.
“It’s my pleasure.” I turn to Elliot. “You’re off work early. Is everything okay?”
“Never better. I was actually hoping to steal you away a little earlier than planned.” He winks and I giggle at his rare playfulness. It’s not often he lets loose and enjoys himself. His world revolves around the oil company he runs with his father. Everything else coming second. We’ve been dating for the last year since he convinced my father it was time he take me out, but I’m nothing more than arm candy for him. He doesn’t really know me. He doesn’t even try to understand me. Not my wants or needs or my deepest desires. He just wants me to be there to look pretty by his side.
“Only if you make it worth my while,” I murmur into his ear, knowing it will embarrass him. And just as I thought, he smiles sweetly and his cheeks turn a light pink. He’s so much fun to mess with.
I take another sip of my tea and silently listen as he converses with his mother and sister for a few minutes. When he laughs at something Isabel says, I notice the adorable dimple pop out on his cheek. He must feel me staring at him because he glances over at me and grins, shooting me another playful wink. While Elliot is definitely no Heath when it comes to the looks department, he’s still a good-looking man, just in a more wholesome, boy-next-door sort of way. Whereas Heath is devilishly handsome with his dark brown—almost black—hair always gelled back; Elliot is softer, with his light brown hair always a mess, reminding me of a cute school boy. His eyes are chocolate brown and always bright with genuine happiness shining through, while Heath’s darker, deeper brown eyes stay hardened to the outside world, only softening for me when we’re alone and in our own little bubble.
“Well, we better be going,” Elliot says, putting an end to our weekly tea, something we’ve been doing for years since I was a little girl and my mother was still around. Before she had enough of this life and escaped. Most days I want to hate her for running, but sometimes, secretly, I envy her.
The four of us stand and Isabel and Delores walk us to the door. Elliot hugs his mother and promises they’ll do brunch this weekend. I spot his Mercedes in the driveway and after saying my goodbyes, head over to the vehicle. Like the gentleman he is, Elliot opens my door for me and once I’m situated, closes the door behind me. Opening his glovebox, I take my Chanel sunglasses out that I keep in here for sunny days like today and put them on. Elliot picks a station and I change it, refusing to listen to the garbage he calls music. We’re almost down his driveway and to the main road when I let my mind drift to earlier.
“Finals are over,” Heath murmurs, nipping at my ear with his teeth.
I love to taunt him. “Did you pass?”
“You know I did.”
“We’ll celebrate later tonight then,” I promise.
He hugs me tight. “Dinner at Sheffield’s and dessert in your bed.”
“Dinner is out, but dessert can definitely be arranged.”
His body stiffens and I can feel the anger radiating from him. “Other plans?”
“Nothing of importance,” I tell him truthfully. “I’ll come to you when your dessert is ready.”
I let out a sigh and try not to think about the fact I’d much rather be with Heath right now than Elliot. Instead, I focus my attention on where we’re headed. I watch out the window as the car picks up speed and the luscious green landscapes blur together. Elliot keeps the conversation flowing the entire drive to the city. I answer the questions he asks and laugh at all the right moments, but my mind is with Heath, wishing I were at dinner with him. I glance down at Elliot’s and my adjoined hands and wish it were Heath’s hand I was holding. I stare out the window and wish my fantasies could somehow become a reality.
We pull up to the Grand Hyatt and Elliot stops the vehicle. He gets out before I can ask him what we’re doing here. I quickly look down at my Valentino black minidress and matching pumps. When Elliot mentioned going to dinner, he didn’t say where. The valet opens my door and I take my sunglasses off, throwing them into the glovebox. Then I take his proffered hand and step out of the vehicle. I locate Elliot and shoot a glare in his direction. “You didn’t mention anything about going to a hotel.”
He grins mischievously and my stomach drops. “I wanted to surprise you. I’ve made reservations at the restaurant and booked us a night in their penthouse suite.” He winks, but this time I don’t giggle, too annoyed.
“Well, you should’ve mentioned it. I’m not exactly dressed for an evening out and I-I don’t even have a change of clothes or toiletries.” I snub my nose in the air like I’m being put out, but on the inside I’m panicking.
“Don’t worry, Catrina, the only thing you’ll need tonight is yourself.”
I worry about my promise to Heath to come see him later. Shit! If I’m not home tonight, Heath will burn this city ablaze in his search of me.
“I need to make a call.”
“Nonsense. Your father already knows you’re with me. There’s nobody else who needs to know where you are.” I can hear the silent meaning behind his words, but I ignore them. He extends his hand and I take it, following him into the hotel restaurant while trying to figure out a way to get ahold of Heath.
The maître d’ sits us at a private table in the back corner. Elliot thanks him then turns his attention to me. “No menus?” I ask.
“No, I planned the entire evening ahead of time so we won’t be interrupted.” He edges his chair closer to mine and places my hands into his. “I wanted tonight to be special, my love.” He leans in and places a soft kiss on my lips before backing up and smiling. “I love you, Catrina.”
“I love you too,” I choke out.
We go through our meal, one course at a time, beginning with the cheese stuffed mushrooms, eventually making it to our main course of Maine Lobster, and finally ending with the Strawberry Shortcake. As I take a small bite of a strawberry, I remember I’m supposed to be having dessert with Heath. Then an idea strikes me on how I might be able to get out of this, but before I can put my plan into motion, I spot Elliot getting up from his seat. I’m about to ask him where he’s going when he drops to one knee while opening a teal-colored jewelry box. I tilt my chin up slightly to assess the ring and notice it’s an oval platinum diamond, at least four carats. It’s absolutely exquisite.
“Catrina,” Elliot begins and I try to calm my beating heart. Only it’s not beating out of excitement but instead in terror. I thought I would have longer. At least a few more years. “It’s no secret that our engagement has been a long time coming. I’ve asked your father for your hand and he’s given us his blessing. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
No! No! I won’t become your wife. I don’t love you or want you. I love someone else and he owns me, every piece of me. But no matter what I want in this life, it’s not the right path. Elliot is the path I’m destined for. “Yes. Yes, I will marry you.” I fight to hold back my tears as he slips the engagement ring on my ring finger, but once one tear breaks free, the rest follow in an unbroken stream. Elliot mistakes my devastation for happiness as he pulls me into his arms and kisses me softly. Always softly.
Grabbing my hand in excitement, he guides me out of the restaurant and up to our suite. “There’s a bag of toiletries in the bathroom if you’d like to freshen up,” he says as he removes his suit coat and hangs it in the closet. Unable to even speak, I simply nod, then I lock myself in the bathroom, my body hitting the back of the door as I fall to the cold tile in a ruined heap. Covering my mouth, I cry for everything that Heath and I will never be. For everything we can’t be. Sobs silently wrack through my body as I wonder how I got to this point in my life. Loving the man I can’t have and being stuck with the one I don’t want. My thoughts go to my mother and how she left my father. Some would call her a fool for walking away from a life of luxury, but as I sit here in this bathroom, feeling trapped, I have to wonder if maybe choosing love over money is what saved her.
Silent tears race down my cheeks as I think about Heath. My best friend. My lover. My everything. Since the moment my father brought him into our home, we’ve been inseparable. There isn’t a time I can recall when Heath hasn’t been there. Every birthday, every holiday. But it doesn’t matter that he’s been raised alongside me. That he works harder to earn his money than the men who simply have it given to them. No, life doesn’t work that way. You’re either born into this life or you’re an outsider. And no matter what Heath does, he will always be watching from the outside while I’m trapped on the inside.
Closing my eyes, I take a deep, calming breath. Then I let out an exhale and find my resolve. I fix my makeup and freshen up. I find a silky piece of lingerie in my bag, courtesy of my new fiancé, and put it on. Then, without giving myself another glance, I exit the bathroom where I find Elliot lying in bed and waiting for me, no longer wearing his dress shirt.
“You look gorgeous,” he croons, patting the top of the bed for me to join him. I climb up and crawl over next to him, and once I’m lying down, he rolls over and settles on top of me, his hands caging me in. He rakes his gaze over my face then plants a gentle kiss to my lips, his tongue delicately swirling in my mouth. I close my eyes and try to imagine he’s Heath, but it’s pointless. Elliot could never satisfy me in the way Heath does, at least not without my guidance. So instead of trying to wish for my fantasy, I choose to deal with my reality.
Returning Elliot’s kiss, my tongue meets his as I take over. I pull his undershirt over his head and unbutton his pants, pushing them down. He’s left in nothing but his boxers. I glide my hand back up and squeeze his dick through the material. He jumps slightly, startled that I’m behaving so brazenly, and breaks our kiss. With one hand still holding himself up, he uses his other hand to remove mine from his boxers and places it around his neck. I should’ve known he wouldn’t allow me to take control. He never does. His lips meet mine once more and I can feel him guide himself into me. I’m barely wet, definitely not turned on, but he doesn’t notice. He pumps into me a few times and then lets out a low groan as he comes inside me.
“I love you, Catrina. Thank you for agreeing to be my wife and making me the happiest man in the world.” Then he kisses me once more, rolls off the bed, and pads to the bathroom to clean up, while I stare down at my ring and wonder how in the hell I’m going to explain this to Heath.