Chapter Nineteen
Lucy closed her eyes and squeezed back the tears as she drove back to the main road to Prickle Farm. Regret sat in her throat like a brick. Why couldn’t Garth understand how she felt? How many times had she tried to tell him she was not going to stay?
She’d known straight up that he’d been hurt when she hadn’t included him when she’d discussed catching up with Rod. She should have turned to him and said, “How about it, Garth?” but that would have been publicly outing them as a couple. And they weren’t. And she didn’t want them to be.
Did she?
Oh, hell, I don’t know what I want.
The look on Garth’s face and the tightness of his lips as they’d driven out of town had upset her. He was being unfair. She’d made it quite clear to him all along what she wanted.
He was country.
She was city.
Hell, it would make a perfect song.
And his words when he’d lashed out at her had shown her that in bucketloads. They were totally incompatible. Except they were perfect together… They enjoyed each other’s company and they had so much in common.
Lucy shook her head as she slammed the car door in the hay shed. She was going to have to forget all about Garth Mackenzie and move on. It would be a lot easier when she was back in Sydney, and it was time to do something about that.
Gran and Pop were out visiting a neighbour, and Liam looked at her curiously as she clomped up the back steps.
“Everything okay? Good trip? How was Sydney?”
“No.” She choked back a sob. “I had to take Garth to town. Jack got bitten by a brown snake in the front paddock.” Hopefully, Liam would think she was upset about the dog. She was, but Rod had assured them Jack would survive.
“Gran and Pop rang. They’re going to stay out for dinner. Are you going to Garth’s?” Liam hurried up the steps to the verandah that went around the whole house.
“No. I’m tired and I’m not hungry. I’m going to have an early night.”
He laughed. “I was sure you’d be over there again tonight. You haven’t seen him much in the past week.”
Lucy whirled around, and Liam bore the brunt of the feelings that were surging through her. “Well, I’m not, and I wish you would all stop assuming we’re a couple. We’re not, and I’m going back to Sydney in six weeks. Remember?”
Her face crumpled and she burst into tears.
“Hey, Luce.” Liam’s hand on her arm stopped her from opening the door and running inside. “What’s wrong? Really?”
Lucy’s shoulders sagged, and Liam pushed open the door and held it open for her. “Come and sit down and tell me what’s wrong. I’ll get us a cold drink.”
Lucy flopped onto the soft lounge and lifted her face up to the cool air puffing out of the air conditioner. She was pleased that Gran and Pop were out. At least there was only Liam to see her have a meltdown.
He walked from the kitchen and handed her a glass of juice with ice cubes clinking in it.
“So spill. You obviously need a shoulder to cry on. Did you and Garth have a blue?” Liam pulled up a wooden chair and sat in front of her. Lucy grinned through her tears. His face was grimy, and there was a line of red dirt where his hat had caught the perspiration as he’d worked out in the hot paddocks all day. He totally looked the part of a cattleman.
“You’ve really taken to country life, haven’t you?” she said.
“You have, too. You’ve fit in so well you could join the County Women’s Association and enter their bake-offs.” Liam tried to jolly her along. “I’m sure you’d win a prize for your cakes at the agricultural show.”
She shook her head, and her lip quivered. “But that’s not what I want to do.”
Liam leaned forward and took her hand. “Is that the problem? You don’t know what you want?”
“Oh, I know what I want.” Lucy’s smile was bitter. “I want Garth. But I don’t want to live out here. And I can’t have one without the other.”
“Very true.” Liam nodded. “Take care that you make the right decision, Lucy. I made the wrong one a few years back, and I’ve regretted it ever since.”
“What happened?” Lucy stared at him. “That’s if you want to share.”
“Water under the bridge now. I can talk about it without it hurting too badly.” His voice was sad, and she stared at him.
“I fell in love with an Aussie girl I met in London. Angie’s work visa ran out, and she had to come back to Australia.”
“And?”
“She wanted me to come back with her, but foolishly I put my career first. It was before the first round of job cuts in Fleet Street and of course, I planned on being the next Clive James.” He lifted his head, and his eyes were bleak. “Too late I realised I shouldn’t have let Angie go.” His laugh was bitter. “And the irony? I’m back here now, my journalism career’s over, and I’m making a new life she would have loved.” He shook his head. “She’s a country girl, and she was doing a vet exchange just outside of London.”
“Can’t you get in touch and let her know you’re home?” Lucy frowned. It all sounded so simple when it was someone else’s problem.
“Nope. Too much pride. Last time she emailed me, she had a new man and was living happily in Victoria. She doesn’t need to know I’ve come home. No point.”
“I think you should.” Her voice was emphatic.
“No. We’re as different as chalk and cheese. I’ll let her be. She’s found her happy place. But what about you? We all have opinions about other people’s lives, Lucy. I think you should give Garth a chance. You obviously love him and he loves you. Have you told each other that, or do you skirt around it like Angie and I did?” Liam shook his head again and lifted his glass. “Does it really matter where you live if you love somebody? Think about it, Lucy.”
As he held her eyes, Lucy could see the sadness in their depths, and that stayed with her when she went to bed. She tossed and turned as she thought about what Liam had said. But his well-meaning advice didn’t change her mind. A few minutes before the lights of Gran and Pop’s Lexus flashed through her window, she heard Liam’s truck start up and wondered where he was going. She climbed out of bed and slipped a pair of long, loose pants over her pyjamas.
“Hey, Luce. You’re up late.” Pop was almost as sprightly as he had been years before. He crossed the kitchen and picked up the electric jug. “Cuppa?”
“Yes, please. Where did Liam go?”
“He went to turn the irrigator off. He’s a good lad,” Pop said.
“Everything okay, love?” Gran patted her hand as she sat at the table beside her while Pop rattled around the cupboards reaching for cups and saucers as the jug came to the boil.
“Gran, I have a huge favour to ask.” Lucy managed to keep her voice steady.
“Anything, pet.” She looked up at Pop as he took the milk from the fridge. “Harry, there’s some of that cheesecake lattice slice in a Tupperware container on the bottom shelf. I think Lucy needs some cheering up.”
Lucy waited until Pop joined them at the table, and Gran pushed the sweet, creamy slice over to her. Lucy shook her head. “No thanks. I’m putting on weight with all this country cooking. Too much good food and not enough exercise.”
“Well, I’m having some.” Pop picked up a piece of slice and smiled at her as he chewed. “You were too scrawny when you got here, anyway. So what’s the favour?”
“I know we changed the conditions of what Gran had asked for originally, and said we would stay for three months and then come back after the others had their turn, but I need to go back to Sydney.” She rushed on quickly. “I need to go back and do some work. I’ll come back later in the year and I’ll stay longer after Jemmy and Seb go back.”
Pop and Gran exchanged a knowing look.
“You really don’t need me here at the moment. The harvest is almost over. All I’m doing is cooking and filling cake tins and helping”—she picked up her cup and took a sip of tea as her voice threatened to break—“and helping Garth get his garden in order. And that wasn’t really part of the deal, and I’m not pulling my weight anyhow, and you really won’t—”
“Lucy.” Gran’s voice was firm, and she took Lucy’s hand. “You can do whatever you want. We’re not going to hold you to that silly idea I had. I was so worried none of you would want the farm, I was too hard on you all by setting conditions. Pop and I know you all want to keep the place, and whatever happens we’ll work it out. You have your own life, and you have commitments.”
Tears filled Lucy’s eyes. “Oh, Gran, really?”
“Really. We’re together again as a family, and I hope that we won’t go back to the way we all were. No matter what happens here or where you all end up.” Gran looked at her with shrewd eyes. “Although I must say I’m surprised. I really thought Jemmy would be the one to go. I thought Garth Mackenzie would keep you here.”
Lucy dropped her head to hide the sadness she knew was in her eyes. “No, we’re too incompatible; we want different things out of life.”
Gran took Lucy’s hand and rubbed her thumb along her skin. “Are you sure, Lucy? That boy loves you. I know he does.”
Lucy’s throat closed and she shook her head, waiting until she got control of her voice again. “Yes, I’m sure. We’ve had fun, but Garth would want things his own way in the long run. It’s easier for me to go back sooner than later.”
The back door opened, and Liam’s voice drifted through as he yelled at the dogs. Lucy and Gran exchanged a smile. Liam had settled onto the farm as though he’d been born to do it. He walked in and looked around.
“Yum, lattice slice.” He reached out, and Gran slapped his hand away.
“Go and wash your hands, Liam. I shouldn’t have to tell you. You’re too big for that.”
“Irrigator all sorted?” Pop looked at him curiously. “You were a while.”
“One of the grain trucks had a flat, so I helped them change it.”
Lucy leaned back in her chair and watched as Liam left his boots by the door and headed into the laundry adjacent to the kitchen. As he walked back into the kitchen, his broad smile turned into a frown. “This looks serious. Have I missed another family talk?”
“Lucy is going back to the city a bit early,” Gran said with a smile. “Her employers need her, and we’re all good here.”
Liam’s gaze was shrewd. “So that’s why you’re running away, Luce? Your employers want you?”
She could hear the disappointment in his voice, and Gran looked at them both with curiosity as Lucy snapped back at him. “Don’t judge me by your experiences, okay?” She shoved her chair back. “I’m going to bed. Good night.” She strode to the door and then paused and turned back to the table, dropping a kiss on Pop’s bald head and hugging Gran.
“Night, you pair.”
She knew Liam’s eyes were on her, and she didn’t care. It was the only decision she could make. Garth’s attitude this afternoon had given her the opportunity to pull back.
It was time to leave before it got really hard.