Chapter Two
“Mama, how are you tonight?” Aliana asked in Czech. She looked down at the shrunken figure in the bed, hoping against hope tonight might be one of the nights that her mother recognized her. She just laid there, seemingly frozen in her own world. Aliana picked up her hand and gently rubbed in some of the vanilla scented lotion. “Doesn’t that smell good?” she asked. Maybe she should have chosen the tube of rose scented lotion her mom liked. She’d used that scent exclusively when Aliana was growing up, but to this day Aliana gagged whenever she smelled it. It brought back too many bad memories. Nope, vanilla was the way to go.
“How’s Mizz Dee doing tonight?” Shorinda asked as she came into the room.
“Quiet. Can’t get a word out of her.”
“How’s Mizz A doing then?” Shorinda came closer to the bed. As soon as she did, she got a good look at Aliana and let out a screech. “What in the hell happened to you? My God, girlfriend, you’re tore up.”
“I was in a car accident,” Aliana said.
“You’re doing a shitty job of lying. You want to be believed, keep your eyes on me. Now, tell me the damned truth.”
Aliana kissed her mom’s hand and put it back under the thin blanket. “One of my former students got out of hand. He’s pissed I’m trying to lead his baby brother into a better life. He threatened Maminka if I didn’t stop trying to teach his brother.” Aliana bit her lip so hard, the coppery flavor of blood burst into her mouth. “I’ve got to go talk to your administration about moving Maminka to a different room. They knew she was on the bottom floor with the Jacaranda tree in front of her window. If they move her, they have to leave this room empty.”
“They’re going to kick her butt out, Honey. There’s not a chance in hell they’re going to want this kind of trouble lurking around.”
A quick flash of a guitar pick crossed her mind, and she forced it away. “I guess I knew that. It’ll take me a day or two to figure out what to do.” More than that if she was going to be honest with herself. It had taken her over a month to find such a good facility in the first place.
“Can I make a suggestion?” Shorinda asked.
“You’re going to whether I agree or not, aren’t you?” Aliana laughed wryly.
“I like that you’re smart,” Shorinda grinned. “I bet your mama was smart in her day. Here’s my suggestion. You don’t tell the administration shit. Let me just jimmy up one of the electrical plugs so this room can’t be used. Then we’ll move her. In the meantime, you get your ass moving to find her a new place. Me and the other nurses will ask around to the good homes and see if there’s any availability. How about that?”
“Seems to me, there’s a lot of smart in this room,” Aliana said.
“Sure is, glad you recognize it,” Shorinda grinned. “Now you work on your lying abilities. Tell me, is that your cop out there in the hall?”
“He’s not my cop.”
“So, he’s up for grabs? Because that sure looks like something I wouldn’t mind grabbing.”
Aliana choked on a laugh. She was going to miss Shorinda when her mother moved to another nursing home. “Would you like me to introduce you?”
“Honey, I see the way he’s looking over at this room. There isn’t a chance in hell he’s going to be interested in me. He only has eyes for you.”
“He’s just doing his job. And if he isn’t, I’ll get the message through to him.”
Shorinda eyed her and then sighed. “Yes, I suppose you will.”
***
“Officer Robinson, thank you for seeing me home.” Aliana held out her hand.
“I told you my name is Ernie.”
“Yes, well, let’s just keep it formal, shall we?” Aliana waited for him to take her hand.
“You’re stubborn.”
“Yes,” she agreed. He didn’t know the half of it.
“The offer still stands for me to pick you up tomorrow. I told you it’s my day off.”
“That won’t be necessary.” Aliana searched him for any sign of irritation, but instead, he looked resigned. Good.
“I’m going to call you on Monday to see how you’re doing.”
“Officer, that really isn’t necessary.”
“Expect a call, Ms. Novak,” he said with a smile. “Now I’m going to wait here until you lock your door.”
Aliana went inside her townhome, shut the door, and immediately locked it.
“I’ll call you on Monday,” Ernie called from the other side of the door.
“Thank you for everything.”
“Stay safe.”
Aliana strode through the large living room straight back to her bedroom, turning on every light as she went. She stripped as soon as she got to the master bathroom, wanting to ignore the bathroom mirror as usual, but this time she couldn’t. She needed to check to see that her chest and throat bandages were secure before she took a shower. She took in her appearance. Yep, it was the same—long, straw-colored hair that was better left pinned to the top of her head, blue eyes too big for her face, and skin which looked washed out. Her gaze drifted lower to her right thigh. There they were. The scars. She looked up at the bandage on her chest and throat, now. she would have more to add to the collection.
She sighed, it really didn’t matter how many scars she collected, it wasn’t as if anybody who mattered would see them, she’d made sure of that. She traced one of the lines on her thighs. It reminded her of so many things, her emotions were so high tonight. Aliana snatched her hand away, trembling as she examined her bandages and determined they were fine for the shower.
She turned the shower on as hot as she could stand it. She needed to wipe away those moments of fear. She hated the feeling of desperation and swore she could actually smell the stench of despair.
She closed her eyes, letting the hot water pelt the top of her head, praying it would wash her clean, wash away the memories of schoolyard terror.
“You’re stronger than this.”
But she wasn’t.
Images like the water washed over her.
***
“I didn’t tell teacher.”
“Lupita said you did.”
Aliana didn’t know what to do when he shoved her in the chest. She teetered on her toes, trying to keep from falling down.
Lupita and Heather giggled. “Push her down in the dirt, Jose,” Lupita egged on her older brother.
“Push her. Push her. Push her.” Heather’s singsong voice grated on Aliana’s ears.
“You snitched to the teacher.” He punched her in her shoulder, and she crashed to the ground.
“Kick her. Kick her. Kick her.” This time it was Lupita.
“Please, stop,” Aliana said in Czech. So scared, she couldn’t come up with the words in English.
“Listen to the dummy, she’s talkin’ foreign.” Heather laughed.
Aliana started to cry. Why were they being mean to her? She didn’t understand it. Heather was supposed to be her friend. They’d been friends since preschool. They went to church together.
“You snitched,” Jose said again.
She didn’t understand. She shook her head wildly. “I did no wrong.”
Heather knelt down beside her and grabbed her hair. “You told the teacher that Lupita cheated off your paper. You’re a snitch.”
“I didn’t tell teacher.”
“Liar!” Lupita yelled.
“I―”
Lupita shoved a fistful of dirt into her open mouth, choking her. The little girl slammed her two little hands over Aliana’s nose and mouth, smothering her. Aliana clawed at Lupita’s fingers, her wrists, anything she could reach, but she couldn’t stop her. She bucked and kicked her legs, but she couldn’t get either Heather or Lupita to release her. She heard laughter.
Why was this happening? She hadn’t told teacher that Lupita copied. She never told teacher anything. Tears mixed with the dirt. Now mud filled her mouth.
“Ooof.”
Pain shot through her as Lupita’s elbow struck her chin. Aliana was loose, she scrabbled away from her tormentor, spitting the dirt and mud out of her mouth. She couldn’t get too far because Heather still had hold of her long hair.
“She’s getting away,” Heather cried.
Now Aliana could see more clearly, she saw a boy sitting astride Jose, hitting him. Lupita was trying to drag him off her brother. Aliana took the opportunity to grab her hair and yank it out of Heather’s hands.
“Now I tell teacher,” she threatened.
“Dirty foreigner, she won’t believe you,” Heather laughed.
Aliana was on all fours. She couldn’t stop her tears. It was true. Her teacher hated the way she talked. She was constantly correcting her in front of the other children. She only liked the way she wrote on the paper.
“―ever hit her again, I will beat you bloody.” Aliana looked up to see who had said that. It was a boy she recognized from the hallways. She thought he might be in fourth grade. Jose was in fifth. The boy had an odd name. He was a Hunter like in Snow White. He turned to Aliana. “Go tell the teacher.”
Aliana shook her head. Heather was right, they wouldn’t believe her. The boy got off Jose and stood up. He looked around at the other two girls.
“If you ever touch her again, you’ll answer to me.”
Lupita looked scared, Heather smirked. It made no sense to Aliana. None of the children’s actions that day made any sense. Not her friend, Heather, not Lupita and Jose, not even her rescuer. She stood there trying to stop crying. When she got back to school, she ran to the bathroom and wiped her face. When teacher asked her what was wrong, she said she fell down. Even the teacher’s lack of interest made no sense. Aliana vowed to never do anything to bring attention to herself again. Too bad her actions had nothing to do with being a target for bullies.
***
Aliana shut off the shower and stepped out. It had been a long time since she had thought about her school days. Her hands trembled as she pulled on her soft pajamas. She hated remembering how powerless she had been. The memory must have surfaced because of how Mateo had made her feel.
She considered again whether she was doing the right thing not to go to the police. To begin with she wanted to save Nicolas, but when they threatened her mother, all of her faith in authority left her. If Mateo had been able to knock out her security cameras and know exactly what room her mother was in? She shuddered at his power. No, she couldn’t risk it.
She got into bed and shoved the pillows behind her back. She crossed her legs and put her hands on her knees. She breathed in and held her breath for a count of three, then carefully released it for a count of ten. She did that twenty times until she finally felt herself begin to calm. She could stop counting her breaths and just ease into a state of being.
When she opened her eyes, she wasn’t surprised to find her face was tight from dried tears, but she felt more relaxed. Not good exactly, but more centered. In control, that was it, she felt more in control. She uncurled and pushed the pillows away and turned out the light. It was a mistake.
She got up and went over to the plug on the wall and switched on her sunflower nightlight. She went back to her bed and wrapped her down comforter around herself and burrowed in. She stared at her nightlight until she finally slept.
***
“What really happened to you?” Lottie hissed.
They were sitting in the back corner of the teacher’s lounge eating lunch. Aliana was tired of all the attention she had garnered that morning.
“I was in a car accident.”
“Your car was fine. I checked it out.” Carlotta Rodriguez peeled off the film from her microwaved diet meal and grimaced.
“I was in a friend’s car,” Aliana whispered back.
“You don’t have any other friends but me. You’re anti-social, remember?”
It was true.
“A new neighbor moved in,” Aliana told her. “We were going to lunch, and she wrecked the car.”
“You’re such a bad liar.”
It was getting frustrating that everybody doubted her word these days. She needed to work on her ability to deceive.
“Oh, my God, you’re trying to think of ways to become a better liar!” Lottie hissed again. “Stop it. I’ll tell your grandmother on you. By the way, that would have been a much better lie. You should have said she’d been driving.”
“I had her license revoked a couple of years ago, remember?” She’d felt terrible, because they ended up having to sell her grandfather’s car as well, and that was what hurt her Babička the most.
Lottie grimaced. “I forgot sweetie.” She put her hand on top of Aliana’s. “I remember how tough that was for you. But she had a good run, she’s damn near eighty. Now tell me what really happened.”
“I can’t.”
Aliana watched as Lottie morphed from her friend into the skilled school counselor who nurtured almost two thousand teenagers. Not only was Carlotta Rodriguez a counselor, she was a psychiatric social worker who provided both counseling and mental health services to the students at Bertrum High School. Since they were in the middle of Eastmont, which was rife with gangs, many of the students had families and friends who had been victims, or the students themselves had been victims of violence. When Carlotta had transferred to the school three years ago, she’d been a godsend. Except for those times when she decided to put Aliana under her psychiatric microscope. Aliana preferred it when they remained in the best friend category.
“We’re going out to dinner,” Lottie proclaimed.
“I have work to do.”
“I’m sick of dieting.” She held up a piece of something that resembled beef on her fork and waved it in front of Aliana’s nose. “You know you’ve been telling me I need to kick this diet to the curb. Now’s your chance to help me splurge,” Lottie wheedled. Damn, the woman knew how to push her buttons. “You need to eat more too. You keep saying you want to put on some weight.”
“Quit using your voodoo tactics on me.”
“Comes with being my friend. I’m good for you.” Lottie paused and gave her a kind smile. “Come on, you know I’ve never delved too deep.”
That was true.
“Fine, we’ll go to dinner,” Aliana relented.
“Great.”
“Now, I need to get back to my office.”
“You didn’t eat anything,” Lottie protested.
“Please, don’t nag. I would have, but…” she touched her throat. “It hurts to swallow.”
“What did the doctor say about that?” Aliana looked down at her barely touched yogurt. “Dammit. You didn’t discuss this with them, did you?”
Two of the teachers looked curiously at them as they left the room.
“Would you keep your voice down?” Aliana requested.
“No, I won’t. You either go to the nurse’s office, or we go to urgent care after school today. Those are your choices.”
She didn’t like either one of them. She glared at her friend. They were no longer best friends. Maybe they weren’t even going to be friends anymore. She didn’t need friends, did she?
“Stop having conversations in your head,” Lottie sighed with exasperation. “Just give in.”
“I wasn’t―”
Lottie raised her eyebrow, and Aliana laughed.
She felt her purse vibrate. It must important, nobody called her during school hours unless it was an emergency. She pulled her phone out of her purse. It was an unknown number. She answered.
“Aliana?”
“This is Aliana Novak. May I help you?”
“This is Ernie Robinson. I was calling to find out how you’re doing.”
“I’m.” Aliana swallowed to clear her throat, and it went down the wrong way, and she started coughing. She couldn’t believe he was calling her, and she couldn’t seem to stop coughing. Lottie was looking at her with concern.
“Aliana? What’s going on? Are you alright? Do you need to go back to the hospital?” Ernie asked.
“No,” she gasped out. This was ridiculous. “I’m fine,” she wheezed, then coughed again.
“Aliana, you don’t sound fine.” He was speaking loudly enough to be heard over her coughing, Lottie heard him.
“Give me the phone.” She held out her hand. Aliana jerked it away from her friend. The last thing she needed was these two talking.
“Who’s that?” Ernie asked. “Let me talk to her,” he demanded.
“I heard that,” Lottie reached over the table, somehow managing not to plant her right breast into the blackberry yogurt while still grabbing the phone out of her hand.
“How did you do that?” Aliana gasped.
“Who is this?” Lottie asked.
“I’m Ernie Robison. I’m with the L.A.P.D.,” Aliana heard him say.
“How do you do? I’m Aliana’s best friend. She didn’t tell me you would be calling,” Lottie said sweetly. Aliana got up from the chair and went over to the vending machine, coughing the entire way. Her water bottle was empty. She had no choice but to get something to drink to stop this sudden fit. She felt all eyes in the lounge on her, the last thing she wanted.
Scratch that. Her eyes narrowed as she saw Lottie all comfortable with her phone. Sakra, that was the last thing she needed. She pinched the bridge of her nose as she sat back down.
“No, Ernie, she’s not all right. We’re going to the urgent care right after school. I’m worried about her trachea or her larynx.”
There was a pause. Then there it was. She hit him with it. Ernie would be shutting down.
“I’m a psychiatrist. I went to medical school.” The conversation would be over with.
Lottie listened, then burst out laughing. “Yep, that’s me, right down to a tee. If they say her throat is just swollen and nothing is really damaged, do you want to join us for some wedding soup and enchiladas? Girlfriend and I need to eat.”
Again, there was a pause.
“Great. I’ll call you.” Lottie handed back her phone. “Is he as hot as he sounds?”
“Huh?”
“Ernie? He sounds dreamy.”
“Dreamy? Did you just say dreamy? You’ve been spending too much time with the students.” Aliana closed the lid on her yogurt, gathered up her banana and threw them into her paper sack.
“I’ll be in your office at three-thirty. I’ll make an appointment for you at four.”
“That’s too early. I have work to do.” Lottie followed her to the trash can and out the door.
“Don’t make me talk to Roger. He’ll back me up.”
She would too, Lottie would definitely go to the principal.
“Fine,” Aliana sighed. “I’ll go to urgent care. I’ll give you a call when I get home and tell you how it went.”
Lottie smiled and shook her head. Aliana knew that gesture. She wasn’t getting out of having a shadow at her appointment.
“I’ll see you at three-thirty.”
***
Not again. This was the third time she’d been called to the music room, and she was sick of it. This was Breanne Clarke’s first year on the job, and she was going through a trial by fire. She was a gifted music teacher, but unfortunately, there were three senior boys in the class who were taking it for easy credit to graduate. They were unmanageable, and Ms. Clark didn’t have the slightest clue how to discipline them. Today had to take the cake.
Aliana wrenched open one of the double doors, and it swung open and slammed. Holy hell, it had a broken hinge. Well, fine, she figured it didn’t hurt her reputation to make an entrance as all eyes were riveted to her, including the three senior boys.
“You three. Here. Now.” She pointed at Lucky, Carlos, and David and pointed to the floor in front of her.
“Who?” Lucky asked.
“You make me repeat myself, this will escalate from suspension to expulsion.”
David, who was the weak link, stood up and gave a pleading look to his compatriots. Carlos stood up. Lucky put his feet up on the back seat of the girl in front of him. She shoved them off. “Fucker,” Aliana heard her mumble.
“She’s bluffing,” Lucky said to his friends. “Sit your asses down.”
“Lucky, congratulations. You’ve hit the suspension trifecta. This time I’ll call your dad over at the plant.”
He sat up in his chair. “You can’t suspend me. You haven’t heard my side.”
“I can. I am. You’re out. David and Carlos quit dragging your feet.”
She watched as they double-timed it down the stairs to stand in front of her. “Tell me what happened.”
Carlos got a sly look on his face and looked up at a stunned Lucky. “It was his idea,” he said, pointing to his friend.
“Isn’t that convenient,” Aliana drawled. “Tell me the truth.” She used her voice like a whip. “Who put the animal excrement in the tubas?”
“What?” David said.
There was murmured laughter in the music room. Breanne turned red.
“Yeah, I don’t understand?” Carlos said innocently.
“Feces?” Breanne said helpfully.
“Breanne, they understand the word. They’re the ones who filled the tubas full of dogshit. Now they will clean them out, then pay for a professional cleaning, and David and Carlos will be suspended for three days. Meanwhile, Mr. Unlucky will be suspended for a week, and kicked out of your class permanently with a failing grade.”
“You can’t do that. I need this grade, otherwise, I have to go to summer school,” Lucky whined.
“Should have done what I asked you to, now shouldn’t you? Lucky, do you want to try for expulsion, or are you going to kindly join your friends down here with me, and we all take a nice walk to my office?”
She watched as the student got up and walked toward her. He looked like he had been poked with a cattle prod.
Good, her job was done.
***
So bright and shiny, how could he be related to Mateo? Nicolas Garcia stood in front of her, excitedly waving his essay in front of her.
“Ms. Dunbar submitted it to the Library of Congress six months ago for their literacy contest! It’s a finalist,” he cried. There were tears in his eyes. Nicolas was big at fifteen, already bigger than his brother and a lot smarter. Why couldn’t Mateo leave him alone? She hated that Nicolas’ brother was so intent on dragging him into Los Demonios. She hated that name. She hated their logo, even more, the picture of the demon was so evil looking, it made her shiver every time she saw it, not that she would ever admit it.
“Nicolas, that is excellent.”
“I think you had something to do with it,” he said astutely.
“The selection was made on merit,” she assured him.
“I mean the contest. They didn’t do that last year. It was your idea to have them submit our papers, wasn’t it?”
Yep, smart. His smile faded.
“What happened to you, Ms. Novak? Why are you wearing a bandage?”
She looked him straight in the eye, and said, “I was in a small car wreck this weekend.”
He looked at her for three heartbeats, then asked, “Are you going to be okay?”
“Of course, it was a minor accident. The doctor said I was fine.”
His brown eyes darkened. “The school can’t afford to have something happen to you, you need to take care of yourself.”
“We were talking about you,” she smiled. “Tell me more about your paper.”
“It was on George Orwell. I had to write him a letter and tell him how his book, Animal Farm, impacted me.”
Aliana had already read his paper, Glenda had shown it to her before submitting it.
He paused, clearly uncomfortable. He looked behind him, making sure no one was outside her door who could overhear him.
“Do you want to shut the door?”
He stood up straight. “No,” he said, all bravado.
“So, tell me about your paper. I’m excited to hear about,” her emphasis hear. She was dying to hear his take on why he had written it.
He leaned in. “Animal Farm talks about how fear is used to make people conform. It’s kind of what Los Demonios does. There are a lot of the same dynamics. You know?”
Boy, did she know. She nodded her head.
“You have to shake off the shackles. I want to be like Snowball.”
“What do you mean? You want to be like the pig who started the revolution on the farm?”
“Exactly. A lot of the kids who join the gang do it because they want to be part of something, they do it for a sense of brotherhood. They don’t realize just how evil it is before it’s too late. That’s exactly like what happens in the book.” She knew she had never been this zealous about anything, not even her poetry or music.
She took out voice Number Thirteen, the Kind, Firm and Fair voice. “Nicolas, you can’t start a revolution. Your only task is to be a kid, do well in school, and get the hell out of the gang. Got it?”
“Snowball was scared too, but he had to do it, Ms. Novak. You do the right thing all the time. Everybody heard what you did in the music room. You were righteous. I’m doing the same thing. With some help.”
“Nicolas, what you’re suggesting is too dangerous.”
“Don’t worry,” he gave her a pitying look, “I was born into it Ms. Novak.”
“But you’re not part of it.”
“Of course, I am. My family is. It’s all around me. I’m one of them.”
“What do you mean your family? I thought it was just your brother?”
“Never mind. I just try to keep my head down. I hope you’re right, and I get to leave and go to college.”
If it took her dying breath, he’d get out of here, she swore to herself.
“With your abilities, of course, you will, Nicolas.”
“Do you think this contest will help?”
“It helped me. Did I tell you I went to school in Boyle Heights?”
“No way!” he exclaimed. “I thought you were all that. You were one of us? A homegirl?”
“Not exactly a homegirl,” she smiled. “I talked with an accent, was overweight, and dressed funny, I hardly fit in.”
“You sure came a long way,” he said with admiration.
“Thank you.”
“Was it tough for you?” he asked. Smart and perceptive.
“It wasn’t easy.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It was a long time ago. Still―” She waved her hand. “We’re talking about you. I just wanted you to know there is a way out. I won a national contest in poetry. People noticed me, and I got a scholarship. It’s possible, Nicolas. Never give up on your dreams. Okay?”
He raked his fingers through his black hair. She had a flashback to another boy who used to do the exact same thing. She slammed that door shut. Then he flashed a grin, and the door flew open and pain made her bleed. Nicolas even had dimples.
“I won’t. I’ll never give up on my dreams.”
“Promise?”
“I promise. But Ms. Novak, there are some others who are worthy of dreams too. I have to do my best to save them.”
“No,” she said vehemently. “Nicolas, it’s too dangerous.”
“I can’t live with myself if I don’t try. Don’t worry about me, I know what I’m doing. Remember this has been my life forever.” He looked down at his paper, and his grin exploded. “Thanks again.”
“Thanks for what?” Lottie asked.
Nicolas started and spun around. He relaxed when he saw the school counselor. “Oh, hi Dr. Rodriguez.”
“Hi, Nicolas. Are you staying out of trouble,” she asked, her eyes sparkling.
“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t dare piss off Ms. Novak.”
“That sounds about right. How’s Darla?”
It was as if all the air got sucked out of the room. Aliana shot her friend a dark look. Lottie ignored her.
“She’s doing okay,” he mumbled.
“She should stop by my office. I miss our talks.”
“She doesn’t go here anymore,” he said, surprised.
“Doesn’t matter. My door is open to former students. She’s special.”
He considered her words. “I’ll tell her. Look, I’ve got to go.” He brushed past her on the way out of the office.
“Dammit Lottie, why did you do that?” Aliana demanded.
“I know Nicolas is one of your pets, well Darla is just as important,” Lottie said fiercely.
Aliana disagreed. The girl had attempted to stab a freshman a year and a half ago and ended up in juvenile detention for eight months. She’d been out for the last six months and was now pregnant. The girl had been a bully the first day she stepped foot in Bertrum High, and she consistently escalated. Aliana had been a hairsbreadth from expelling her before the attempted stabbing had taken place. Her fault. Totally her fault Kevin had almost been stabbed. If she’d just gotten Darla out of the school sooner.
“I know that look. Stop it. You followed the process. Neither of us knew she was that desperate.”
“She wasn’t desperate. Quit saying that. She’s vicious.”
“You just can’t see past her actions to what motivates her. A lot of pain and abuse made her that way.”
“Nicolas and she grew up in the same house. They couldn’t be any more different. How do you explain that?” Aliana scoffed.
Lottie shook her head. “When it comes to some students, there’s no reasoning with you. It’s what keeps you from making the leap from great to exceptional.”
Aliana sighed. “Did you come here for a reason?”
“It’s time to leave. You have an appointment, remember?”
Aliana glanced up at the clock on the wall. Where had the day gone?
“At least I know talking isn’t hurting you anymore.”
“Arguing with you always comes easy.”
“We don’t argue. We debate. Get your stuff. The sooner we get a diagnosis, the closer I am to meeting Cop-o-licious.”
“Seriously? You can’t be serious. You’re a grown woman, right?”
“Sex on a stick?” Lottie asked innocently as they walked out of her office.
“Keep your voice down.”
“He has a great ass, doesn’t he?”
God, she was going to need a fireman to put out the flames on her face. Lottie was outrageous, and it continued all the way out into the teacher’s parking lot.
“Are you telling me you didn’t pick up on one physical attribute on our erstwhile knight in shining in armor?”
“See, that’s the problem. There is no such thing.”
“Sure there is. You’re one. I’ve watched you be a savior to hundreds of kids. Why wouldn’t there be someone who is a white knight for you?” Lottie asked.
Aliana turned to look at her friend. “It’s a fairy tale.”
“No, I’m serious. I’ve met some really good men in my life. My husband was one of those men before the wreck that killed him.”
“I wish I could have met him,” Aliana said not for the first time.
“I wish you could have too. But that was another time, another place.” Lottie shook off her sadness and smiled. “Who knows, cop-o-licious might be another one of the good ones.”
Aliana rolled her eyes, then hit her key fob to unlock her car. “I’ll meet you at the doctor’s office.”
“Well, don’t be late.”
“You do realize you’re a nag, don’t you?”
“Honey, you might not believe in a knight in shining armor, so instead you have a fairy godmother watching over you. That’d be me.”
Aliana wasn’t sure she even believed in that.
***
That evening when she went to bed, she saw her nightlight still on and smiled sadly. She’d had a knight once. He’d given her a sunflower and a saint necklace to watch over her, to keep her from being lonely. She remembered that day like it was yesterday. It was the day before Hunter Diaz was going to leave forever.
“I’m not going to leave you forever. I’ll write you letters. I’ll visit.”
Aliana picked at her ankle-length cotton skirt. The one that had gotten so much negative attention that day at school. They were in the backyard of her grandparent’s house, sitting on the old swing set her grandfather had put up for her before he’d died.
Hunter didn’t say anything. She looked up, he was staring at her intently.
She hugged her stomach, she knew it pooched out.
“Don’t do that,” he said angrily.
She hunched over further, looking down at the grass.
“Alia, I think you’re perfect the way you are. You never have to hide from me. You have to know that.”
He’d said that a lot over the years. He always tried to make her feel better, especially when she would show him the pictures somebody drew of her. She hadn’t shown him anything or told him stuff since he found her under the bleachers.
“You know I have to go? Don’t you?”
She nodded her head, her hair heavy in a bun. She wore it that way so nobody could pull it. Her parents wouldn’t allow her to cut it. Some of it got loose, and Hunter brushed it back behind her ear. Her head jerked up to look at him.
“You have the prettiest hair.”
“I do?” she asked, her Czech accent thick.
“Yes,” he smiled. Hunter’s smile made her think of one of her favorite songs because it made her heart happy. He didn’t do it often, but when he did, it showed the creases in his cheeks. He would hate it if she called them dimples.
“You and Mamie are the only reasons for me to stay, but I have to leave, you understand that, don’t you?”
She shook her head, but saw his dismay, so she quickly nodded.
It hurt, but she gave her best smile possible.
“It’s okay Hunter, I’ll be fine,” she lied.
He sighed. “I have something for you.”
She frowned. He pulled out a small box from his beat-up backpack and handed it to her. Her hands trembled. Hunter was giving her a gift. She was excited but scared. She hadn’t thought to give him anything.
“I don’t have―”
He laughed. “Chaquita, just open it.”
It wasn’t wrapped, just a brown box. Inside was a sunflower. She picked it up with reverent fingers.
“You remind me of sunflowers. They grow through the pavement and are strong and pretty, like you.”
She huffed out a breath. “I’m not strong. I’m weak. That’s why you have to take care of me.”
“I hear things. There’s a lot you don’t tell me. You live with a lot of abuse. Yet you still manage to come to school every day no matter what those bitches do. I admire you more than anyone else I know.”
She didn’t understand him. He was the brave one. He was the one who was going to be a soldier, and he thought she was strong? He was crazy.
“No,” she said in Czech, then realized her mistake. “You’re wrong, Hunter.” She hated it when she sounded foreign. When she said as much, he smiled.
“I like how you talk. It’s different. It’s cute.”
“You’re acting odd,” she accused.
“It’s because I won’t see you for a long time. I needed you to know I’m going to miss you. Look at what else is in the box. I looked it up in one of Mamie’s books and went to a special store to buy it for you.”
She pulled a delicate gold chain with a gold medallion out of the box. It had a woman who looked like the Virgin Mary on it. “Is it the Blessed Mother?” she asked.
“You’re so Catholic,” he teased.
“So are you,” she shot back.
“I just go to mass,” he laughed. “That’s Saint Rita, she takes away loneliness and protects women from abuse.”
Aliana’s eyes widened. She’d never heard of her. “Really?”
“Honest. Let me put it on you.” He stood up from his seat and walked behind her. She watched in fascination as the medal dropped down in front of her, feeling it as he fastened the clasp at the back of her neck.
“There.”
She lifted and turned it so she could look at it. She jumped up from her swing, dropping the box on the ground, but still gripping her flower firmly in her hand, then flung her arms around Hunter.
“This is the best present I ever got. Thank you. Thank you.”
He laughed. “You’re welcome.”
At the sound of his laughter, Aliana realized what she had done, and released him, stumbling backward. He caught her before she fell.
“Hey, what’s going on?”
“I shouldn’t have hugged you.”
“Sure you should have, how else would I have known you liked the present?”
He totally confused her.
“Sit back down. I have one more thing for you.”
She sat back down on the swing, and he crouched down in front of her and pulled an envelope out of his pocket. “Can you promise me, not to read this until after I leave?”
“I don’t understand. Why?”
“Just promise, okay.” He took her hand and wrapped it around the envelope. “Swear.”
She looked into his intent brown eyes, “I swear to God, Hunter.”
“Thank you.”
Aliana pulled the long chain from around her neck and pulled up the St. Rita medal, staring at it for long minutes. She had bought the chain after she’d been teased about the medallion. Now, she was glad because it rested against her heart. Aliana went to her dresser and took her Bible out of her drawer, opening it to the page where her sunflower was pressed. She stroked it with her finger before putting it back. She opened up her purse and pulled out a lined paper out of her wallet, Hunter’s letter. His bold printing was faded from all the times she had touched the words. She read it once again, then again, and put it back, too. Her ritual complete, she got back under the covers.
“It’s a dream. A dream,” she said in Czech. “There are no knights for you. You are nothing but a responsibility that kills men’s dreams.”