CHAPTER 18
She awoke sputtering and coughing and realized somebody was trying to squeeze the contents of a juice box into her mouth.
Gage, she realized. She was stretched out on the couch and he knelt beside her, his braced leg extended as he supported her head and tried to get her to drink. She swallowed a mouthful, mortified that her blood glucose levels must have dipped so low that she passed out.
“The girls?” she mumbled.
“Shh. Don’t worry about them right now. Drink this. It’s warm but it’s all we could find in the house. Twila went to the diner down the street for some breakfast.”
Allie tried to sit up. “I need to find the girls.”
“Relax. Cale took them out back to play. They seem thrilled to be home.”
Relieved that her daughters were in good hands, she quickly programmed the pump at her waist to deliver a bolus of insulin. That done, she leaned back against the pillow on the couch and tried to swallow a few more mouthfuls of warm juice.
“Feel better?”
“I’m getting there. Thanks. Where did you find the juice box?”
“In the pantry.” He paused. “You ought to be skinned for not taking better care of yourself.”
She sighed, knowing he was right. “It’s been a wild couple of weeks. The last twelve hours haven’t exactly been a breeze, thinking I was on my way to jail.”
“I never said that’s where you were going.”
“But you didn’t say I wasn’t when I asked you what would happen to the girls.”
With the help of one of his crutches, he rose and took the wing chair next to the couch. “I guess maybe I was after a little petty revenge. I was angry. I’m still angry. Maybe I wanted you to suffer a little for the worry you put so many people through. I didn’t think about the physical toll it might take on you. It was small of me and I’m sorry.”
She closed her eyes to block out both his anger and the guilt she could hear threading through his voice.
“I’m the one who’s sorry for deceiving you all those weeks.”
“You should have told me the truth.” His voice was flinty hard again.
“I didn’t dare, Gage.” She opened her eyes and pulled herself up a little on the couch so she wouldn’t feel at such a disadvantage. “I was so frightened of losing the girls. I suppose you know all about the custody fight with Jaime’s parents.”
“I know they were awarded joint custody because the judge in the case said your condition put you at greater health risk than most single mothers. I guess what I don’t understand is why that made you run.”
How could she explain the complicated dynamics of the situation? She sighed again. “My husband and his parents didn’t have a very easy relationship. Irena and Joaquin came from great wealth in Venezuela and tried to control their son with it. They never approved of me for various reasons—because I’m an American and because I’m not Hispanic and because of my…my diabetes.”
That had been their root objection—they hadn’t wanted a flawed daughter-in-law, one who had to constantly deal with blood draws and insulin and the potential for greater health risks down the road. Their dislike had been tough on her, she had to admit. She winced now, remembering how desperately she had sought their approval in the first few years of her marriage.
“A few weeks after they were awarded joint custody,” she went on, “Gaby let slip that Irena had taken them to get passport photos. I was afraid they would take them to Caracas and I would never see them again. It was definitely something they would try, and they had the wealth and power to get away with it. I was so frightened. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“So you ran.”
“What else could I have done?”
Gage thought of the loving bond between Allie and her daughters. Losing them in an international custody battle would have destroyed her.
If the in-laws were as ruthless as she claimed, maybe she had been justified in what she had done to protect the girls—taking Gaby and Anna out of harm’s way before her husband’s wealthy parents could steal them away from her.
But the risks she had taken, the heavy burden she had shouldered alone still angered him. “You should have told me,” he said again.
“I couldn’t. Oh, Gage. I wanted to, but I was so afraid. At first, when I didn’t know you, I was afraid you would have me arrested and take the girls. And then I was just so frightened you would hate me if you knew the truth, that I kidnapped my own children. Especially with what happened to your sister. I couldn’t bear it if you hated me.”
Her voice broke a little on the last two words, and he fought the urge to gather her into his arms and comfort her.
“I tried to hate you after I found out the truth,” he admitted. “I wanted to hate you for deceiving me all those weeks we spent together. But you know something, Alicia?”
“Allie,” she whispered. “Nearly everyone calls me Allie.”
“Allie.” The name rolled off his tongue much easier than Alicia or even Lisa. It seemed to fit her, somehow.
“You know,” he went on, “as much as I wanted to hate you, somehow no matter how I tried, I couldn’t force myself to do it. You’re a tough person to hate.”
“Why? I kidnapped my own children. Even if what Twila says is true and it wasn’t technically a crime, in my mind I thought I was breaking all kinds of laws. To be honest, if I thought it was the only way to protect the girls, I would do it all over again.”
With her words, a lifetime of conviction seemed to go fuzzy, like he was seeing it through wavy glass. He saw now that one single, terrible moment in his life—his sister’s abduction—had given him a strict black-and-white moral compass.
He had relied on it, had used it to become a damn good FBI agent, dedicated to his career.
He thought he knew what was clearly right and what was undeniably wrong. Now for the first time, as he listened to Allie talk about why she had taken her children, he started to see in shades of gray. He still didn’t agree with her decision to run away from what she saw as a threat. But maybe he was beginning to understand it a little.
He knew he had to make one thing clear to her, though. “You don’t have to protect the girls by yourself anymore.”
Confusion furrowed her brow. “Why not?”
“You have friends who will help you. I would like to think you would turn to them. And to me. I hope you know I would do whatever it took to make sure nothing happened to Anna and Gaby.”
She gazed at him, her eyes huge, then those blue depths started to fill. “Oh, Gage.”
This time he couldn’t resist her tears. With a muffled groan, he shifted to the couch and pulled her into his arms. “Please don’t cry, sweetheart. Whatever I said, I’m sorry.”
For some reason that only made her sob harder. She clung to him, her arms around him and her head nestled under his chin.
Just where she belonged.
“I missed you so much,” she whispered in midsob. “It ripped my heart out to leave Park City behind. To leave you. I thought I would never see you again.”
“Crazy woman.” He squeezed her tighter. “You should have known I would come after you.”
She gave a watery, disbelieving laugh. “Why would I think that? I was just your next-door neighbor with the noisy kids and the bossy attitude. The annoying creature who nagged you endlessly and butted in where she wasn’t wanted and who never left you alone for two minutes so your broken legs could heal in peace. If anything, I figured you would be glad to see the last of me.”
“You were also the woman I couldn’t get out of my mind,” he admitted, the last of his anger dissipating like puddles on the sidewalk in a hot July sun. “The one whose kisses I couldn’t live without, who along with her daughters brought love and laughter and joy into a life that has been dark and cold and empty for far too long.”
She stiffened in his arms and drew in a swift, shaky breath. Her head tilted up, and she stared at him, incredulity in those tear-soaked columbine eyes.
“You should have known I would come after you,” he said again, cupping her cheek in his hand, their gazes locked. “What other choice did I have but to go searching for the bossy, interfering, incredible woman I’m in love with?”
Shock widened those eyes further. “Are you trying to make me pass out again? You can’t just throw that out there like that with no warning!”
He couldn’t contain himself any longer. Through his laughter, he kissed her. She melted against him and returned his kiss with an eagerness that took his breath.
“I love you, Gage,” she murmured after several moments. “I think I fell in love with you that first day before your accident, when you came over to warn me to be more careful with the girls. I knew for certain the day a big, macho FBI agent surrendered his dignity to let my daughters play beauty shop.”
He winced. “That was a one-time deal. Believe me, it’s not going to happen again.”
“Don’t be so sure. Hurricane Gaby can be pretty persuasive.”
“I’ll just have to work on my powers of resistance, then.”
“Resistance is futile. Haven’t you figured that out by now?”
“I’m beginning to.” He pressed a soft, tender kiss to her mouth. “I love you, Allie. And I love your daughters. I don’t want you to ever feel like you have to take on the world by yourself again. You’re not alone anymore. I want a future with you. I’d like to spend the rest of my life with you and Gaby and Anna—protecting you and watching over you and loving you.”
She closed her eyes at the rush of emotions pouring through her at his tenderness. When she opened them, she spied the juice box on the end table and she sobered.
“Are you sure you know what you would be getting into?”
She unclipped her insulin pump from the loop of her jeans and offered it to him on her palm. “If you take me, you have to take all this, too. Package deal, here. It’s part of who I am.”
He studied her solemnly for a moment, then his big hand wrapped around her fingers and the insulin pump, completely enveloping them, and he gave her a hard, close-mouthed kiss.
“I know. It’s part of what I love about you, Allie—the courage and strength inside you that helps you cope.”
“I don’t always cope well. You should know that up front. You haven’t seen it yet but sometimes I have major-league tantrums where I get angry and bitter and rail against fate for giving me this damn disease. Sometimes I get so frightened about what the future might hold for me—kidney failure, blindness, or worse—that I have a tendency to forget I need to live in the present.”
“When that happens, I’ll just have to be right there to remind you what you have now, and what you will always have—two beautiful daughters who need their mother. And a man who is crazy about you.”
As he kissed her again with sweet tenderness, Allie finally let herself imagine a future with him—one filled with all the things he promised and so much more.
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