Chris
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The constant buzzing of my cell phone along the wood of the bedside table is aggravating as fuck. It’s the third fucking time, so I give up on the crap sleep I’ve been floating in and out of and snatch my phone from the table. I’m not surprised it’s Travis. “What?”
Silence for a few seconds. “I guess I have my answer on how things are going with Amelia Bishop. Interesting, as the last few photos had me wondering if you were done with the strippers for good. I liked this headline best, ‘The bad boy and good girl.’ Fair warning, once again they labeled you as Mexican instead of Brazilian. You want me to sue them for you, since it’s not going well with you two?”
I roll onto my back, staring unseeing at the ceiling. “Like I give a shit what they label me. Fuck suing them. She cut, she ran. I’m not going to chase her. I haven’t chased pussy before, I’m not about to start now.”
“Really? Lunch three days in a row and flowers delivered to her office wasn’t you chasing her? Pick a different florist next time, someone in there waxed lyrical on you picking out the flowers and some ridiculous vase. Interesting. What did you do to fuck it up?”
Shaking my head, I sigh. Yeah, this was all my damn fault. A little more patience, a little more coaxing, and I would have had her. Instead, I let her push my buttons until I went off on her. I knew sending the flowers was a lost cause even as I did it. She kept the flowers though. I know she has them, and I’m pretty sure she’s looking at the broken vase too. “Why do lawyers have a problem with a truth?”
“Damn it, Chris, what did you say?”
“Doesn’t matter what I said. It’s over. A post-mortem isn’t necessary. I might not know what she’s like in the bedroom, but in the boardroom she’s a fucking cougar, she got me three and a half million. You should have seen her, she had them by the balls and just kept squeezing. It was a sight to behold. She made my cock hard.” I laugh at the memory. “Anyway, whatever, it’s done.”
“Sure, right. Did you ever give her a chance to tell her truth?”
“I tried to get her to talk, she didn’t want to. Drop it. Are you guys coming up to Scottsdale to hang out for spring training this year or not?”
Travis sighs, then lets it go. “I’m still not sure. Regina is worried about leaving Pamela alone to handle the salon. It might not be the two weeks we were hoping for, maybe a long weekend instead. I’ll talk to Regina again tonight.”
“Let me know. I need to go. I didn’t get in weight training yesterday. I’m running behind today.”
“Talk to you later.”
I end the call but don’t move. I lied. I’m in pain from how hard I worked out last night, or rather until two in the morning. During the off-season I still keep to a tight schedule of working out, batting practice, and even a few hours in my office going over my properties or checking in on my investments in the market. The weekend is a lighter time, with Saturday only a half hour run or sometimes just a walk and batting practice for two hours. Sunday is my sole day of rest and complete relaxation.
Last Saturday I spent four hours in batting practice in the basement. This is my last season—I want to retire with my RBI over 2,000 and my hits over 3,500. As of the end of last season my RBI is 1936, and my hits are at 2,994. I should be spending another four hours downstairs, but right now I don’t give a fuck about batting practice. I roll off the bed into the bathroom to turn on the tub. Trent texts me, asking what I’m up to, am I up to hit the strip club for a few hours. The strip club...beautiful women who wanted to fuck, were desperate for my cock, who knew what they wanted and weren’t afraid to ask for it. I barely finish the thought before I’m shaking my head. My no is simple. Trent leaves it alone.
Slipping into the tub, I turn on the jets and tune out the world.
***
Amelia
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I stare at my screen, at a loss as to what the hell I’m reading. With a sigh, I’m up out of my chair wandering my office, again. This is ridiculous, I’m useless. Even the thought of another ten minutes is torturous. Saturdays are usually my easy day, my catch-up day, but nothing about this day feels easy. I don’t want to be here, only I’m not sure where to go. Home alone with my thoughts does not appeal.
When I woke up this morning, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I was going to do whatever it took to get Chris to forgive me and give me another chance. I would bare my soul, share every secret, tell him everything inside my head, well, except that—Chris doesn’t want to know I’m in love with him. I’m not sure I want to know it. I’m hoping I’m wrong, that it’s not love, it’s lust, it’s infatuation, except I’m pretty sure I’m not wrong. And that’s what’s keeping me from going to him. How am I supposed to be as honest with him as he demanded without telling him I’m in love with him? I know I’m not well-versed in this whole relationship thing, but it seems like a pretty huge thing to leave out.
Holly’s ringtone bursts from my phone. Oh thank god. I practically run across the room to answer it. “Hello?”
“Hey hon, it’s Ethan.”
“Hi.”
He laughs. “Don’t sound so excited.”
“I—no, it’s just, I could really talk to Holly right now.”
“I kind of figured you would.” I gasp. “No worries, your secrets are safe with Holly. She didn’t tell me anything. I’m just concerned about you. You’re in a vulnerable place right now. Between the bullshit with Mom and Dad and you wanting to leave the firm, I’m worried you’re grasping at an easy answer to escape into, rather than handling the changes head-on.”
“How do you know I want to leave the firm?” I’m stunned.
“Give me some credit. I love you, I care about you, and I know when you’re pulling away. Are you thinking you’re finally free to be what you want because you don’t have to live up to Mom and Dad’s expectations?”
I don’t hesitate to lie. I’ll never tell Ethan it was the moment in the conference room with Susan. It wasn’t about him, it was about me. “Yes—I kept thinking if I was as good as you they would care about me the way they care about you. I don’t dislike law, but I’m not happy with sixty-hour workweeks. I don’t get the fulfillment you do. While I know it’s what I don’t want, I have no idea what I do want. I’m looking forward to taking some time to figure it out.
“While I love you and I appreciate you care about me, Chris is not an easy answer to anything. He is my answer though. I need you to respect my decision as well as my relationship with him. Which won’t be happening until you come back.”
The silence lasts so long my chest tightens. “Okay. I’m always here if you need me. Whether it’s for support or a shoulder to cry on later, I’m not going anywhere.”
I don’t miss his jibe about tears, which doesn’t make it easier to blink back the tears I have now. Ethan’s unwavering support and love is something I’ll never stop being grateful for. “Thank you. I love you.”
“Love you too. Here’s Holly.”
Holly sighs. “Are you okay? Has he guilted you into giving up Chris?”
“No, he made me realize even more that Chris is what I want. It’s just, Chris demanded I be honest with him, telling him everything I want and god, I don’t even know what he wants me to say. All I know is he wants me to be honest with him and myself, which I totally need to be, but I can’t tell him that I love him. He’s looking for fun and a fuck. If I tell him I’m in love with him, he’ll run as fast as he can.”
Her gasp is loud in my ear. “Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent, right down to my bones. What the hell do I do?”
“You just don’t tell him.”
“That’s it?”
“Pretty much. He’s never going to ask you if you are in love with him. The man will avoid the question like it’s the flu. You tell him you want his body, you tell him that you’re willing to take what he gives without asking for more. The hardest part will be sticking to it, because eventually you will want more. Just pretend he’s opposing counsel and don’t give in by asking for it—make him give it to you.”
“I don’t know. Where he’s concerned my brain cells overheat, causing them to malfunction.”
Holly laughs. “Oh, I know how that goes. Every time your brother gave me a hundred feet of room I had plans formulated, words rehearsed, then he’d get close and it all went poof. Don’t worry about it for now. You need to figure out how to get him to give you another chance. Any ideas?”
“I was kind of planning on going over to his house and throwing myself on his mercy.”
“Oh god, I’m glad I called you first then. Sit down and take some notes.”
***
Chris
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My cell ringing startles me. The fuck? It’s almost midnight. It’s Regina, and my anxiety kicks up. “Yeah, what’s up?”
“Good, you’re still awake.”
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.”
Tension eases inside. “Dude, what the fuck are you calling so late for then?”
“Quit being a baby, I was sure you’d be awake. Insomnia.”
It’s not a question. “How’d you know I’d have insomnia tonight?” I toss my book away, letting my head fall back against the cushion. “You psychic?”
“No, Travis said you were giving up on the Amelia chick. Which is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, and you’ve done some pretty stupid crap. I knew you’d be up moping about it.”
“What? I’m not moping. The chick said she wasn’t interested. No means no, Regina. This is the age of women screaming rape and assault if you eye fuck them. I’m not up to dealing with a woman who doesn’t know what the fuck she wants. I don’t need her waking up the next morning screaming she meant no out of regret. I want a grown-ass woman who screams yes and means it. Amelia Bishop...she’s more trouble than she’s worth.”
“God, you are such a baby sometimes. Once, one dumb bimbo who sooo totally didn’t deserve you fucks you over, and it’s lights out on trying again. Caroline might have been pretty, but she won an Oscar for a reason, she’s an actress, and she didn’t stop when she wasn’t in front of the camera. Five years, it’s time to close the coffin on all the crap she put you through.”
“You don’t know shit about what went down with me and Caroline. I got over it a long time ago. It’s done, it’s in the past.”
“Bullshit.”
“Did Travis ever tell you about Ruby Donato?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard the story. You fucked her for so long you got dehydrated. Ever the stud you are.”
“I asked her to marry me. She laughed.” Regina gasps. “She said I was an awesome fuck but she needed more than that. She asked why I had to get all serious, wasn’t I supposed to be a bad boy? Yeah, women wanted to fuck a bad boy but no one wanted to marry one.
“That’s pretty much the same thing Caroline said. All I ever told you guys was she wasn’t interested in doing the long-distance thing when I got traded to New York. I asked her to marry me. I got down on one knee, had the ring and the champagne, the whole thing. Anyway, she laughed. She didn’t mean to, she said, it was a nervous, reflex laugh you do when someone says something so absurd you can’t believe they said it.”
“I’m sorry, Chris. I’m—I don’t even know what to say.”
I shrug. “Nothing to say. I really am over it. It’s almost embarrassing how quickly I got over it. Within a few months I was grateful she said no. If she was so easy to get over, then obviously she didn’t mean enough despite what I thought at the time.
“So, I’m good sticking with strippers, with women who are down to fuck and don’t need their hand held, who know what they want. Amelia, she’s doing the right thing, staying in her comfort zone. I should too. It was a nice idea, whatever, it’s not like it would’ve lasted long anyway.”
“I feel like an asshole. I’m really sorry about the crap I said. I don’t think you should give up on Amelia, but I understand why you would.”
“It’s not about giving up, it’s about respecting what she says she wants.”
“Okay. If you say so. Travis and I talked about going up for spring training, but I’m not sure yet. Let me give Pamela another few weeks to see how she does handling the salon on her own. I really want to go for two weeks, but not if I’m going to have a mess to clean up when I get back.”
“All right, just give me a call.”
“Night, Chris. Love you.”
“Love you too, kiddo.”
I end the call. It’s too bad about Amelia—it could’ve been a lot of fun. Oh well, c’est la vie and all that shit.