Corinne

 

No matter how long I slept, I always felt groggier if I slept during the day. It was really weird waking up in the afternoon, and my body clock was all over the place, but it was weirder still being woken by Asa, clearly in a rush.

 

"Get dressed. We have to go."

 

He didn't tell me why until we were in the car, when he said that it was checkout time for the motel, and he didn't have the money to pay for another day. I didn't believe that one bit. There was something he wasn't telling me, and if his edgy demeanor wasn't enough to make me think that, then it was reinforced by the fact that he had been there to wake me in the first place.

 

I had been prepared to wake alone. In fact, I had been expecting it. Not that I wanted to find Asa gone. It was just that I didn't think there was anything I could do to stop him. He had argued that there was no longer any practical reason for us to stay together, and I had had no real answer to that. He was right that he was in greater danger while I was around, and that I was in greater danger staying with the leader of War Cry. I didn't care about my being in danger, but I cared about him, and I guessed the reverse was true for him. So, I was pretty confident that I would wake up to find that he had taken off by himself, avoiding further argument. It was a pleasant surprise, therefore, to be woken by him, have him usher me into the car, and back out onto the road. But it was a surprise that I couldn't figure out.

 

On the face of it, the only reason for us to stick together seemed to be because we wanted to— which I certainly did, however selfish it might be. Was it too much to hope that, during the night, he had come around to my point of view? Had the early morning sex somehow made him realize how much he really loved me, to the extent that he couldn't bear to let me go?

 

It would be nice to think that, but even at my most optimistic, I couldn't really convince myself that it might actually be true.

 

So, something had happened while I slept. Something that Asa had decided to keep from me. Something that meant we had to stay together, for now, at least. Whatever it was, I was pretty happy about it, and so decided not to question it.

 

We stopped for gas, and I went into the little gas station shop and bought food that we could eat on the road.

 

"Could we find a diner?" I asked.

 

"Let's keep moving," Asa replied. He said it with forced casualness, but I read more into it.

 

We took turns driving, so the other could eat. I began to feel as if we were Bonnie and Clyde, on the run from the law. Which, in a way, we were. But, in another way, we were very much not. We were a stunningly innocent Bonnie and Clyde, an unlucky pair who had wound up in this situation through bad decisions and bad luck, comforted by each other's presence. Even as I thought it, I knew how naive that sounded. I really was a child, living a romantic bad-girl fantasy, when the reality was anything but.

 

"Keep an eye out for anywhere we can spend the night," Asa said.

 

Evening was closing around us fast and, though we had slept much of the day, I was still feeling pretty tired.

 

"Why do you do what you do?" I asked, broaching a subject that, until now, I had not dared to raise.

 

Asa frowned. "What do you mean?"

 

"You're smart, and you're a decent person. You could be anything you wanted. Why this?"

 

"You don't like this?" Asa teased me.

 

"I think we both know how much I like this,’" I said. "But we also both know that I have some problems with getting off on danger and disobedience. Also, while I like this," I roughly indicated Asa, "Over the last day, I've found that what I really like is this." I laid a hand on his heart. "You keep it hidden, and I'd like to see more of it."

 

"I think that would endanger my position."

 

"Good. Like I said, you could be anything you wanted."

 

Asa shook his head. "People like me only end up one way. You can't change who you are. You can pretend to be a bad girl, but it won't make you one. I could pretend to be a good guy, but it won't make me one."

 

I rolled my eyes. "Do you remember when you told me off for talking like a clichéd 'bad girl'? That cuts both ways, you know."

 

Asa laughed. "I guess there are worse people than me."

 

"So why do you do it?" I returned to my original question.

 

"When I was a kid, this is what there was." Asa kept his eyes on the road as he spoke. "It was this, or stay at home. And home wasn't an option. Home wasn't really a home. I guess kids of any age look for a family, and I found mine kind of late. I knew that what War Cry did wasn't legal, but it was a place I was accepted, appreciated, and treated well. Ironically, I felt safe. If anyone tried to hurt me then, suddenly, there was this whole bunch of other guys who had my back. I felt part of something for the first time in my life, and I really didn't care what I had to do to get that."

 

I nodded. "I can see how that would happen. But now you never have to worry about your parents again. You're your own man. So why stick with it?"

 

"I guess partly because it's become who I am," Asa admitted. "I wouldn't know who I was, if I wasn't president of War Cry. But also because there are people who rely on me. People who I let down if I'm not there." A strange look came over his face, as if he was thinking of something else, something that he, apparently, could not share with me.

 

"You don't have an obligation to them," I pointed out. "You have a right to live your own life."

 

But Asa shook his head firmly. "Take someone like Joseph. I recruited him to War Cry. I saw his potential and brought him in. If I hadn't done that, if I hadn't brought him into an organization with some structure, then I think he'd be in jail by now. Or dead. That's the road he was on; vandalizing buildings, petty theft, picking fights. I can't walk away from kids like that."

 

"But kids like that are still on the road to jail as part of War Cry. War Cry breaks the law."

 

"There's a difference between being in War Cry and being a little teenage hoodlum, busting up shops because you've got nothing better to do and an anger in you that needs to be vented. Protecting businesses from mobsters is a better way of channeling that rage."

 

"The police deal with mobsters."

 

Asa scoffed. "The police can try, but they need things like evidence. Your dad knows I'm guilty of some things, but, without evidence, there's nothing he can do. Same is true of people who try to muscle in on Fiona's bar, or any of the other businesses we protect without concrete evidence, all they need is a good lawyer, and they walk. And where do they walk to? Right back to the person who reported them to the police, and that person will never walk again. So, no one reports them to the police. They call War Cry instead. We don't need evidence, and we are a very effective deterrent."

 

"So, you and my dad are on the same side really?" I suggested. Maybe I was teasing him a little, but there was some truth in it too, or so it seemed to me.

 

Asa pulled a face. "In a manner of speaking. I doubt he'd see it that way. I don't either, if I'm honest."

 

"Why not?" I pressed. "You both believe in helping the little guy. You both believe in stopping the bad guys. I know that neither of you would ever hurt someone who didn't deserve it. What's the difference between you and dad?"

 

Asa squirmed a little in his seat, clearly not liking the question. "I guess ... the law. To your dad, that's an absolute. He'd walk away from something bad happening, if stopping it meant breaking the law. I won't be chained down by what a piece of paper says. I know right from wrong."

 

"Selling illegal hooch?"

 

"People have a right to get drunk."

 

"And go blind?"

 

Asa looked at me sharply. "Not off my hooch, they don't."

 

I decided to keep wheedling at him. "But, by selling alcohol cheap, by avoiding taxes, you're screwing someone down the line. The person trying to make a living selling booze by the book, the person who relies on that tax money being spent in their town. I think your definition of right and wrong is a lot more fluid than my dad's."

 

It was fun watching Asa trying to justify himself before finally settling for, "You know, protection doesn't pay for itself."

 

We found a place to stay just as night was really starting to take hold. We grabbed a bite to eat and then went back to our room. It had been a long day, and the closest we'd had to a shower was the waterfall the night before, so we went into the shower together. Standing under the stream of hot water together, we made love, Asa lifting me up into his strong arms and pressing me against the wall of the cubicle as he stroked in and out of me. Later, once we had dried ourselves and returned to the bedroom, we lay next to each other on the bed, naked, staring at the ceiling, and sometimes at each other.

 

I glanced at the clock. "You know, it's not that late yet. This time last night we were just arriving at the waterfall."

 

"A lot can happen in twenty-four hours," Asa mused.

 

I reached across and gave his flaccid penis a playful tug. "This thing deserves a medal."

 

"I think it would settle for a rest," Asa said, with heartfelt honesty.

 

I laughed, then rolled over on top of him to kiss him. We stayed like that a long time, kissing and staring into each other's eyes, until I could bear it no longer. I had to ask.

 

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

 

"In what sense?" he asked evasively.

 

"In the sense that—and I'm not complaining—this morning was our last morning together, but it's now evening and here we are on another bed."

 

Asa looked away.

 

"I don't want you to have secrets from me," I pressed.

 

"There are some things you're better off not knowing."

 

"Tell me."

 

He couldn't evade my gaze forever, and, when he looked at me again, I could read the guilt in his eyes.

 

"There are men coming for me. I think. I guess I can't be sure. But if they're coming for me then they're coming for everyone I care about. War Cry can take care of themselves. So can Fiona. You ... I can't leave you when you might be in danger."

 

"My dad is a sheriff, and a pretty tough guy." I didn’t know why I said it. It was like I was trying to convince him to send me back home, which was the last thing I wanted. But, actually, the last thing I wanted was him to be in danger, especially because of me. On his own, he could run far and fast. Dragging me along behind him, he would always be handicapped, and I knew that he would put my life above his own every time.

 

"I don't want your dad to be in danger because of me either."

 

I grinned. "Big, bad Asa Covert wants to protect Sheriff Brian Dugas? Don't let the rest of War Cry find out."

 

"I don't want anyone to get hurt on my account," Asa retorted, a little petulantly.

 

"Because you're a good person."

 

"I told you already ..."

 

"Here's the thing," I interrupted him. "You've told me time and again that I'm a good girl and no amount of pretending will make me a bad girl, because it's who I am, it's in my bones. I think the same is true of you."

 

Asa snorted derisively. "If you knew some of the stuff I've done ..."

 

"Killed anyone?"

 

Asa looked annoyed. "Well, maybe not actually killed ..."

 

"Mugged anyone?"

 

"Not as such."

 

"Raped anyone?"

 

"Of course not! What do you think I am?!"

 

I smiled. "I think you're a good guy. I think that there was a time when you were young when, because of your horrible home situation, it became safer for you to become a bad guy. You play the part better than me, for sure, but then you've been doing it for longer. Maybe you've been doing it for so long that you've even convinced yourself that it's what you actually are. But in the end, what you said to me is true—you can pretend all you like, but you can't change who you really are. And, for my money, you're a good guy."

 

Asa looked at me for a long beat before speaking. "You're crazy."

 

"That's a separate issue, and it doesn't make me any less right."

 

He shook his head and rolled his eyes, still offering no real comment on what I had said.

 

"We're quite the pair," I said. "Both pretending to be something we're not."

 

"And you're going to say we belong together?" Asa guessed.

 

"You said that, if things were different, if you weren't the man you are, then we should be together."

 

"I said that?"

 

"Something along those lines. And it turns out that you're not the man you are. So why shouldn't we be together? What's stopping us?"

 

"You mean apart from your father, the sheriff, a biker gang, and the Mafia?"

 

I laughed. "Yeah, aside from that, what's stopping us?"

 

Asa looked at me a long time with a little smile on his face. I wasn't sure what I expected him to say next, but it certainly wasn't what he said. "What would I have to do?"

 

"What?" I started up into a sitting position on the bed, looking down at him.

 

"Hypothetically," Asa said carefully. "What would I have to do?"

 

There had been a little voice in my head for a while now suggesting a course of action, but I hadn't mentioned it, because I feared how Asa might react. It was a risk, but it seemed like the only way out for him, and the only way I could keep him in my life.

 

"I don't think my dad has much of a case against you. Nothing that will hold up in court, I mean."

 

"Maybe not," Asa acknowledged.

 

"Turn yourself in."

 

Now it was Asa's turn to start upright. "Are you out of your mind?"

 

"Do you want to be on the run for the rest of your life?"

 

"No, not particularly."

 

"And," I continued, "If my Dad doesn't have a good legal case against you, then what's the worst that could happen?"

 

"He could get me alone in a cell and beat the shit out of me for banging his daughter."

 

I shrugged. "I'm not going to lie. That's a risk. Which is why I don't think you should turn yourself into Dad, himself. If you're in someone else's custody, then Dad wouldn't hurt you for fear of getting the arresting officer into trouble. That's what happens when people stick to the rules."

 

Asa gave me a look, as if he knew I was winding him up a little, but I could tell that he was thinking it over.

 

"If we're wrong about him having the evidence ..."

 

"That's the risk we take."

 

"That's the risk I take," pointed out Asa.

 

I placed my hand on his heart. "If you think that losing you isn't a risk for me, then you don't know me at all."

 

Asa smiled and placed his hand over mine. "Sorry. That was unfair of me."

 

"You can't clear your name unless you hand yourself in. You'll be on the run forever. This is a chance, not just to escape the law, but to put this whole thing behind you. And, once it's behind you, then we have a life in front of us."

 

Asa nodded. "And I'm sure your dad will be just delighted about that."

 

"One problem at a time."

 

Asa looked pensive. "I'm still worried about the Mafia. If they come for me in jail, then I can handle them, but if they come for you, or your dad while I'm in jail ... I know you said your dad can protect you and handle himself, and I don't doubt it for a minute, but I don't like the thought of you or him having to fight my battles, and ..." He glanced away momentarily, as if embarrassed. "If anything happened to you, I'd never forgive myself."

 

"Why are they coming for you?" I asked.

 

"To keep me out of the way, so they can go on preying on local businesses."

 

"You'll be in jail. How much more out of the way do they want you?"

 

Asa acknowledged that there was some truth in that.

 

"And, once you're out, then you can tell Dad all about them. Then War Cry can team up with the law to kick the Mafia's butts once and for all!"

 

Asa frowned. "I think now you might be living in a fantasy world, but ... I can see your point. Besides," he shook his head, grimly, "I don't like running away from my problems. If it wasn't for you, I would have headed back to town straight away to help War Cry. I don't like the idea of leaving them to it." He looked at me, meeting my eyes with a smile on his face. "Let's do it."

 

I threw my arms around his neck, and we kissed.

 

"So, if I can't hand myself into your dad, who should we go to?"

 

"One of his deputies, I guess."

 

A thoughtful look came into Asa's eyes. "I know just the guy."