“S he said she liked tequila! You were right there !” Ian yelled .

The last guest had left only half an hour before. Jane had immediately launched into her evaluation of Ian’s performance that night, as one does with an employee. Apparently, the man wasn’t good with criticism .

“And I like Cheetos, but it doesn’t mean I whip out a bag at the country club! There’s a time and a place, Ian, and this was neither one,” Jane said. Hissed was maybe more accurate. It was uncouth to yell. What would the neighbors think ?

Well. That was if they’d had any nice thoughts about her left in their heads after this December. First, Mr. Jacobson had watched her roll around in the snow like a common streetwalker. And then the entire street saw Tinsley Winterbottom exposing her bottom when the tequila shots had turned into a game of Truth or Dare .

“Care to enlighten me on when the time and place is, then? Because at a party is generally exactly right on both counts .”

“Will you quiet down?” Jane asked. “There is a difference between a frat party and a dinner party. Not that I expect you would know . “

This was possibly her fault. She hadn’t covered that in any of their talks. To be fair, it never seemed like the sort of thing that would be necessary to cover .

This was such a preposterous fight to be having. She was merely trying to explain to him the myriad of reasons he had disappointed her at dinner. And he was behaving so defensively. As if he wasn’t even in the wrong .

Wrong . He was .

“Oh, right, because Southie boys never go to dinner parties, huh? That’s—that’s—that’s literally all Thanksgiving is , lady. A freaking dinner party! Where we eat off the good china and we drink wine with our meal, and then football comes on, and we deploy to the living room for laughs and drinks .”

“That’s different, and you know it.” Completely different .

“No, it’s exactly the same.” He stared her down, but she wasn’t blinking .

“Thanksgiving is for family , not for people you are trying to make a good impression on.” Now her voice was rising a little bit, and she made a concerted effort to take a deep breath. Osbornes did not lose their cool. Ever .

“Right. Family. Tell me, ice princess—were they the ones who taught you to act like this?” He was glaring at her, and the disgust on his face hurt more than she wanted to admit to herself .

“My family taught me manners and class, yes,” she said icily .

“So then you’d probably be trying to impress them too. When do you go off the clock? When the hell do you ever stop worrying about what everyone else is thinking?” He slammed his hand down on the counter in frustration .

“When they’re thinking the right thing!” Jane slammed her hand down too, equally frustrated. It felt kind of good, even .

“And who dictates the right thing? You? Because I can tell you what those women were thinking. They were thinking tonight’s dinner was an obligation, and nothing at all memorable, just like every single year. They were thinking it was a nice change to do something fun for once .”

“And who dictates fun, Ian? Getting hammered and embarrassing yourself and your host is fun ?” She shook her head, calming herself. “This is ridiculous. This is just completely ridiculous. I hired you to do a job, and you failed to complete your duties in a satisfactory manner. You have no reason to be upset. I do. You just listen and learn .”

Her voice was now perfectly modulated, and there was no possible way Ian couldn’t recognize the sense behind her words .

“You’re right,” he said. See? To her pleasure, his tone had calmed considerably. “You’re right! You did hire me. And my mistake was thinking that I was ever anything besides an employee .”

If they weren’t in the middle of a disagreement, that might have made her chest flutter. The timing was unfortunate. Worse, she was the one left to define them outside of their working relationship when she hadn’t figured out what that was for herself .

She cleared her throat. “Of course you aren’t just an employee, Ian. We have a connection. We’re—” She searched for something safe. Something that didn’t limit or obligate. “We’re friends .” Yes. They could remain friends after this was all over. Hopefully even friends with benefits .

Apparently Ian felt differently .

“Friends? Hah!” He paced, like a caged tiger in her kitchen. “Friends don’t treat each other like idiots. Friends don’t complain about the hostess gifts the other one brings. And last I checked, sleeping with someone is not par for the course in a normal friendship .”

“This is hardly a normal friendship, Ian.” She wasn’t ready to take the benefits off the table .

“Don’t patronize me, Jane. Of course it isn’t. Because it’s never been a real friendship .”

“Of course it—” she started .

“No. It’s never been anything more than your Pygmalion fantasy. The poor little rich girl, molding the literally poor guy into her image. Do you have the slightest clue what this has felt like to me? How degrading it is, to be told that my clothes aren’t good enough, that the way I talk isn’t good enough, that I am not good enough ?”

He was roaring again, and Jane took a step back .

“I’m sure who you are is fine in your regular life. But this was a job . You knew what it was when you took the position .”

“Do you think I ever forgot for a single second that this was a job?” His voice was lower but somehow filled with even more rage. “You made it so clear that you were paying me to behave in a certain way. And I didn’t do anything wrong, Jane, I dressed like you said, and I talked like you said, and I made sure all your friends had a great time at your party. You know what? Nothing will ever be good enough for you .

“I will never be good enough for you .”

And with that, he walked through the door and out of her life .

Jane opened her mouth. Then closed it. Opened it again, then closed it for good because there was no one there to talk to anymore anyway .

She did let out a final harrumph before turning away from the door. Just so she could have the last word .

Besides, this was just fine. Absolutely fine. The finest .

Ian had saved her the trouble of going through an it’s-not-you-it’s-me speech. All they would do now was the wedding, no kissing, and now that she thought about it, she’d never asked if he could dance, but she was fairly certain even a basic box step would be beyond him .

So that was another moment of intimacy they didn’t have to have. Her little inner voice said, you didn’t need the truly intimate intimacy, either , but at that thought, the lump in her throat grew bigger .

She had to go back to the initial plan .

This whole thing had been to show up Blake, not to become entangled with the guy she’d hired to do so. This was exactly how things went bad—by deviating from the course. She should have known that. Sticking with the original arrangement ensured a tidy outcome .

Well, it wasn’t too late to get back on track .

She checked into her Facebook group, the BBB ladies. Since hiring Ian, she’d barely graced it with her presence, but now she was interested. The wedding was days away. What was the chatter on the street, so to speak ?

Fiona MacDougall: Anyone want to share a stretch Hummer ?

Ella Chang: Count me in, plus my date: he’s also a count . ;)

Courtney Fick: We already hired a horse-drawn carriage, thx tho !

Ruby Hapstall: My date is uncomfortable with people he doesn’t know, paps everywhere lol! We’re helicoptering .

Good grief. Everyone, but everyone, was going all out. The modes of arrival were far too ostentatious for Jane’s taste, but it certainly looked like everyone had managed to collect dates that would show Blake they weren’t sitting around pining after him .

This was just not fair. She hadn’t pined either, but that was not going to be apparent when she showed up with a guy who would probably use the wrong silverware and was barely speaking to her anyway .

Then something else hit her—what if he didn’t go at all ?

The thought made the lump in her throat sink like a rock to her stomach. Was it possible? Would Ian really back out on his obligation like that ?

Actually.

She hadn’t paid him his final payment .

And after that fight they’d had …

Jane carefully reviewed what was said. His parting words had had an air of finality to them that may not have had anything to do with getting the parting shot in, as she’d initially assumed .

Her eyes suddenly pricked with tears. Because she was dateless for the wedding, of course. Not for any other reason .

Was she really back where she started ?

No, actually, she was probably even farther back now, because not only was she flying solo again, but she’d also wasted hours of her time training Ian for nothing .

A memory came back to her of lying beneath him, close to the brink, as he paused in his motions for a second, just long enough to smile at her and brush a piece of hair back from her cheek .

Well. Maybe not for nothing .

And then she wanted to slam her hand down all over again. How dare he be so mean to her when they’d shared such a wonderful moment? All she’d wanted was for her dinner night to be wonderful too. She was not going to be made to feel guilty about sharing with him her disappointment .

And the more she thought about it, the more she felt resolved, even with the tears streaming down her cheeks. Maybe she’d just blow the whole thing off. She wasn’t going to Blake and Andy’s wedding—where guests and their rich, famous dates ‘coptered in— alone .

She really shouldn’t have played into this whole thing to begin with .

She shouldn’t have let her emotions run away and RSVP yes. She shouldn’t have formed a Facebook group. She shouldn’t have trolled the internet to find a date she could sculpt into what she needed. And she most certainly should not have developed feelings for him .

Friend feelings, nothing more. But feelings all the same .

No, the most reasonable course of action would have been to deny Blake Stupid Donovan the satisfaction of a response at all. Then this whole Ian fiasco would never have taken place .

So that settled it. She couldn’t erase what had happened, but she could fix the future. She simply would not go to the wedding. In the morning, first thing, she’d send the gift she’d bought them—a gaudy gravy boat from their wedding registry at Macy’s (Macy’s?! Must have been Andy’s idea)—along with a note of regret .

As for now, she was going to brew a nice cup of peppermint tea, polish off the last cookie, and go to bed with her head held high .

Jane felt amazing .