SYLVIE

I owe my lawyer fifty bucks. In fact, Amber underestimated. I count six lawyers watching us walk in. Enough for a basketball team, with one left over for sub ins. And my heart thunders in my throat as Amber and I come to stand on the empty side of the table across from Holt’s squadron of dark suits.

Amber was right. About how Holt would come at me…and how low he’d go. She’d been right about everything—hold on, is that Wes and Barron?

I screw up my face when I notice the two boys standing next to an older woman who I assume must be the retired judge arbitrating our case. “Barron? Wes? What are you doing here when you should both be at school?”

One of Holt’s lawyers comes to his feet before Barron can answer. And I jolt with recognition, because it’s the same man who’d been with Jack Calson in the back of that car Javon pushed me into ten years ago. With a binding legal contract on a clipboard, waiting for me to sign.

“Your honor, Ms. Pinnock is over 25 minutes late,” he says, throwing Amber and I a snippy look. “If not for the untimely interruption, the case would already be declared for our client—”

“Yeah, and I bet you are some kind of pissed off that didn’t happen, aren’t you?” Amber says, glaring in the general direction of his voice. Then, voice bright, she asks, “Who do I have to thank for this untimely interruption?”

“Me!” Barron calls out eyeing Amber like he’s dying to throw a bioHelmet on her.

“Well, thank you, young man,” Amber says, sending a smile down the table in the direction of his voice. “You’re obviously as clever and bright as your mother described.”

“Your honor. Obviously, you must rule for Mr. Calson. It is the logical thing to do and what you would have done had they not shown up just now. Over 25 minutes late. Like you said, she is obviously not committed to this process.”

“On the contrary, my client and I would have been here early if we hadn’t been held for questioning after our key character witness was gunned down right in front of us. So the fact that we are only 25 minutes late shows just how committed my client is to maintaining full custody of her son, who Mr. Calson is apparently determined to see he goes without a mother.”

“That is an unfounded accusation!” Holt’s lawyer yells. At the same time Barron comes running over to me yelling, “Mama, did that really happen? Are you okay?”

There is no coming back from Amber’s bomb drop. The room soon descends into chaos with Amber full on yelling at the gang of lawyers across the table.

In the end, the judge shouts that she will need to make a full review of Ms. Reynold’s claims before she can properly decide on the case. Which means that Barron will remain in my custody for at least another thirty days until we can get another date set for arbitration.

Oh, mercy! That means I won’t have to give up custody of my son. Not now, maybe not ever if Amber can connect Holt to the attacker who shot Kyle. But even as I hug Barron, I find myself looking over at Holt mournfully.

However, he doesn’t look back at me. Just angry talks with the lawyer from Jack Calson’s back seat. I see no remorse in his eyes. Whatsoever.

Mika comes running in, apparently having been called by Allie or Yahto.

“No!” Wes runs over to me when he sees her. “Can I come with you? I want to stay with you!” he pleads.

I look down to at Wes, the boy both Barron and I have been missing since our hasty departure from his life. “Oh, Wes…”

I can hear Amber’s previous warnings about how important it is not to have any contact whatsoever with Wes before an official custody agreement is in place. But I bend down anyway and tell him,“This battle can only last so long. After that you will have Barron back, I promise.”

“But I want you, too!” Wes answers, tears welling in his eyes. “You’re Barron’s mom. Why can’t you be my mom, too?”

“Sylvie…” Amber’s voice intones. I glance up to see she’s now standing above us, her face tight with disapproval. I can also feel the eyes of Holt’s lawyers on me, recording everything I do like dog’s preparing for a pounce.

Neither Amber nor Holt’s pack of lawyers get it. How badly I have hurt this boy with my secrets. How guilty I feel for adding to his grief.

And that’s why I defy everything Amber has told me, and pull him into my arms to hug him tightly as I vow, “I will always be here for you. I might not have access to you after this, but please know when you are feeling lonely, I am somewhere thinking about you. When you are having big feelings, I am praying for you. No matter what happens, I will always be here for you. Even when you can’t see me.”

I tell him that, then just as I advise parents when they’re dropping off children at the daycare, I give him a quick squeeze and leave.

I’m grateful Mika is there to swoop in and comfort Wes right after I’m done. As I walk out of the conference room with Barron and Amber, I can hear her behind us, reflecting Wes’s feelings back to him and encouraging him to breathe. As a child psychology grad student at CIT, she has all sorts of strategies for helping Wes that I don’t yet.

And I’m relieved Wes has her at a time like this, and that I will be able to keep my son with me—at least for another 30 days.

However, those are the only things I am relieved about. I still can’t believe we managed to escape that mugger…if not for Amber’s quick thinking, using her stick to knock away the attacker’s gun, he would have shot me, too. But Amber wielded some serious martial arts moves. By the time the police came, she had the would-be “mugger” fully prostrated on the ground with his mask off.

And my heart sunk when I saw the man beneath the mask. Designer skinny jeans, a trendy blunt haircut, and well-manicured nails. I couldn’t help but notice that the mugger didn’t have the looks or wardrobe of a man desperate for cash.

Actually... her death wasn’t nearly as hard on me as it was on him

Suddenly I saw Holt’s words about his first wife’s death in a new light. His first wife’s very untimely but rather convenient death….

And, apparently, one did not have to be sighted to figure out who might have sent a clean-cut assassin disguised as a mugger to come after us.

“Still think Holt Calson’s not a monster?” Amber asks, standing beside me as the police drag the shooter into a squad car and paramedics lift Kyle onto a gurney to be ferried to the nearest emergency room.

For a little while in Arkansas, for one brief weekend, I actually thought Holt could change. That if not for the boy-shaped secret between us, love might have given us another chance, and maybe we could have made it work the second time around. Maybe even started the next generation of our family like Holt had talked about.

But it didn’t go our way.

And as we leave the courtroom, I risk one more look back over my shoulder at Holt.

He is still surrounded by lawyers, hovering around their client like bats. I can’t see him, and he can’t see me.

No, Amber didn’t have to say or do anything further to convince me. There is no denying it now. Holt is a monster. And I would be dead right now if it were up to him.