GABE MATTHEWS WAS NOT a drunk. Hell fucking no. He was completely in control… of his drinking, of his money, of his life, of everything. Okay, he could admit that maybe he drank a bit more than he should have, but who really cared? He was a lucky man, blessed with good looks, a high IQ, and a body that could suck down whiskey like it was water. Gabe had no complaints.

“I wasn’t trying to insult you, man. You know I’m just busting your balls,” chuckled Nick. Nick was Gabe’s best friend. Together since grade school, they bonded over fucked up childhoods and shots of tequila.

Gabe grinned at his friend, grabbing his newly filled glass and raising it up in the air. “A toast,” he started, eyes ablaze knowing that the night was young and just getting started, “to drunks everywhere!” Gabe knocked back the double shot of bourbon like it was nothing, opening his eyes to see his friend slowly take his own shot of some fruity shit.

Empty glass in hand, Gabe continued. “May our livers live long and prosper!” Nick and Gabe erupted into laughter. The bartender strolled over, a pretty redhead with perky breasts, interrupting their laughter with her own fake laugh, pretending she was in on the joke.

“Can I get you two another round?” her voice was hoarse from smoking. Gabe normally wouldn’t care about something so trivial, but with the night he had ahead of him…

“We’re good, sweetheart. Heading out of here.” He winked at her.

“You’ve had four doubles. Taking a taxi, yes?” she eyed him over.

“My sister is picking us up for a party tonight,” Gabe lied effortlessly. “She’s a college grad, now, and fuck it, I’ll drink to that,” he smiled his killer half smile, making sure to make a good impression on the bartender… he may come back for her sometime in the future if the party was a bust. Her painted lips stretched into a smile. Too easy.

As they walked to the car, the cold air hit Gabe almost immediately. Nick walked beside him, taking each step carefully, making sure not to fall. Gabe chuckled. They’d taken their first shots together, and yet here they were, Nick still unable to hold his liquor, Gabe able to hold enough for three grown men. Gabe just had a gift, he guessed. His headlights flashed as he unlocked the pickup.

“Woah, I thought your sister was getting us,” Nick paused near the bed of the truck.

“Fuck that. I’ve driven far drunker than this. Hop in.” Gabe jumped in the driver’s seat and started the engine, loving the beautiful growl of that hemi. He clicked on the radio to catch the ending of Motley Crue’s Kickstart My Heart. “Classic,” he muttered to himself, before noticing that Nick still hadn’t gotten into the car.

Gabe rolled down the window, leaning out and doing what he could to maintain his patience. “Get in or walk. You know I’m fine. I do this all the time!” It was a slow trudge, but Nick walked over to the passenger door and hopped into the car. “See? Now that wasn’t so hard.”

Gabe rolled out, excited to head over to his sister’s little graduation gathering. Drunk college chicks? Yeah, he could be down for that. For a second, he faded back to his college days, most of which were spent getting into trouble. If he was being honest with himself, Gabe knew he was getting too old for this shit. He was a grown man acting the same way he did as a college sophomore, but hell, he wasn’t hurting anybody. He was just trying to have a little fun. Gabe’s memories easily faded into the foggy abyss of his brain. Bourbon was a good friend to him, keeping those thoughts hazy and reminding him of just how much fun this night was going to be. He couldn’t help but smile. Gabe drove off as Nick nervously fastened his seatbelt.

 

***

 

VICTORIA PULLED THE thin black cloth over her head and stared at herself in the mirror. Amy was right, this dress was perfect. Two straps went over her shoulder, meeting at her waist and covering her breasts. Between the two pieces of cloth, lace, showing plenty of cleavage. Going past her waist, tight material wrapped around her, showcasing her curves and elongating her pale legs. Rising higher on the left side than the right, more lace was exposed on her thighs.

She had never felt sexy for a moment in her life, not until now. Victoria was a pretty girl with kind features, but this was different. This was sexy.

Long lashes made longer with black mascara and perfectly applied liner showcased her gray-blue eyes, her favorite feature. Her cheekbones were high and her full lips were rosy and pink. She smiled, marveling at the loose blonde curves falling over her shoulders and down her back.

Victoria felt as good as she’d ever felt, as good as she would ever feel. And thank God for that, because tonight was the night. Her whole life led her right to this moment, this party, something she had fantasized about since she was only thirteen years old.. and now it was happening.

While she was happy to be a college grad and even happier to see her friend happy and succeeding, too, that wasn’t what had her so excited. No, not even close.

Her heart was threatening to burst from her chest, not because of the party, but because of who would be in attendance. Gabe Matthews.

When Victoria had first laid eyes on Gabe Matthews, she knew she was looking at her soulmate. Sure, she was young, but Victoria had always had good intuition, and she knew without a doubt in her mind that she was staring at the love of her life.

But he saw her as a child because, well, at the time, she was one.

But not anymore. Now, at twenty years old, a college graduate, Victoria was all grown up, and she was finally ready to make her move with Gabe.

Victoria was only thirteen the first time she laid eyes on him, her best friend’s older brother. Out to dinner and celebrating Amy’s birthday with her family, Gabe showed up mid-appetizers, with a perfect jawline and long brown hair to frame his face. Victoria forgot how to speak.

For the next two years, every time Gabe came home from college, it was Heaven. He’d hangout with her and Amy, watching movies, playing games, he’d even tried to teach her guitar once. She had heard that he got into a lot of trouble while he was away, but he seemed so perfect to her when he’d come back.

Then, one Christmas, he didn’t come back. And he never came back again.

Until now.

Victoria had waited, pining over Gabe for as long as she could remember. They’d speak online every so often, but it was never anything more than chit-chat. Every other guy she met had to live up to the standards set by Gabe, and they could never even come close. Then, as if a gift from the Universe, he came home, settling into an apartment and starting a business with his best friend, Nick.

Victoria hadn’t seen him since he returned, she’d been so busy with school. Getting a Bachelor’s in Psychology at twenty years old wasn’t an easy feat, and she poured her heart and soul into her work every single day.

Amy was celebrating her Associate’s degree, her dreams involving climbing up the corporate ladder at the clothing store she worked for. Victoria’s dreams were a bit different… she wanted to help people. She wanted to do good in the world, and then she wanted a husband and children, both of which she knew she’d find in Gabe. And tonight was the night that he’d know that, too.

Amy begged Gabe to come to the party at Victoria’s request. He’d agreed, and Victoria couldn’t be happier. Grabbing her clutch and giving herself one last glance in the mirror, Victoria skipped out of her house and headed over to the party.

Tonight was the night. Just don’t forget how to breathe…

***

 

WALKING INTO THE ROOM, Gabe was hit with flashing lights, booming music, and plenty of warm bodies dancing. He smiled, proud of his little sister for pulling off such a party. His eyes scanned the room, quickly finding the bar and walking over. Nick followed close behind, watching Gabe order a jack and coke and declining to get a drink himself.

Now that he had his drink, Gabe was ready to move on and find the second most important thing of the night: a woman. Once again scanning the room, Gabe’s eyes were caught by golden blonde hair flowing over sexy curves that were only accentuated by a tight little number. Gabe took a big sip of his drink. Please look as hot from the front as you do from the back, he silently prayed to himself as he sauntered towards her.

Getting close enough to smell the lavender coming off of her skin, Gabe placed his hand on the woman’s lower back, interrupting her and her friends and gently turning her towards him.

“Well, hello there,” he smiled.

She turned towards him and his heart fluttered in his chest. Gabe could have taken her right there, and the growing bulge in his pants certainly seconded that notion. His eyes bore over her body, her long legs, her beautiful breasts, perfectly exposed through the dress’s lace finish. She had open lips, pink and perfect, and he couldn’t help but wonder how they would taste.

“Gabe.” Her lips pulled into a wide smile. How did she know my— “Do you remember me?” Her tongue flicked out over her upper lip, nearly driving him mad. He took another sip of his drink, his head feeling fuzzy.

“Would you mind refreshing my memory, darling?” Another sip. He would’ve remembered sleeping with this chick, without a doubt. One more.

“Victoria. Victoria Wilson.” She stared at him with wide eyes. “I’m Amy’s friend. Don’t you remember?” His drink was almost finished.

Victoria Wilson. He certainly never expected his little sister’s best friend to have blossomed into what he saw in front of him. He smiled wide.

“Vic? No way,” he laughed, flashing a smile he knew would melt the girl’s heart. “How about you let me buy you a drink?” He took his last sip. “I need one, myself.”

“I don’t really drink…” she trailed off.

“Nonsense! C’mon, come to the bar with me,” he threw his arm around her shoulder and guided her towards the bar. She fit into his body well, her five foot six frame perfectly complimenting his six foot two frame. He lowered his hand to the small of her back.

This was turning out to be a damn good night.

 

***

 

VICTORIA’S HEAD WAS spinning. She was dancing with Gabe, and not the kind of dancing “friends” do with each other. His body against hers was perfect. He looked older now, stronger features, darker eyes, broader shoulders and rougher muscles. His hair was shorter now, too, nearly buzzed, and his jaw indicated that he hadn’t shaved in two or three days.

He was everything she’d ever wanted. She never imagined it going like this, going so easily. He’d come right up to her, invited her to dance, asked her if she wanted a drink. Perfect.

As the music blasted around them and their bodies melded together on the dance floor, Victoria’s hands couldn’t help but wander over those strong shoulders, that muscular chest, the hot skin on his neck. She never thought she would be here. She had hoped, yes, but in her wildest dreams, things had not gone this well. She had loved Gabe from the day she met him, and now here he was, feeling for her the same things that she felt for him. She had always hoped that he’d see her and fall for her one day, and that day had come, and she could not believe it.

Across the room, Victoria saw Amy, and for a moment, she wondered what her friend would think. Amy had known about Victoria’s little “crush” on her older brother, but it had become a joke among them, and surely, Amy didn’t know the extent of Victoria’s affection for Gabe. After Gabe left for all those years, they stopped talking about him almost completely. When a cute guy would flirt with or hit on Victoria and she’d turn him away, occasionally Amy would chuckle, asking ‘still got your eyes set on Gabe?’ and they’d laugh it off, Victoria never acknowledging that that was exactly where her eyes were set.

The truth is, Victoria had never wanted anybody else, not even for a moment. She had this idea in her head, a dream of her future, and he was the only man she ever saw in it. She knew that one day he’d fall for her, and today was that day. She could feel it in the way his body responded to hers. She knew that he felt what she felt, that he saw the future she saw.

Something in Victoria always felt bad for not letting Amy in when it came to this, but she didn’t want to ruin their friendship or make things awkward between them. Amy was her best friend, and Gabe was Amy’s brother, so some lines unfortunately had to be drawn there to keep things normal.

Amy had always been a wonderful friend to her, it almost felt wrong to keep these feelings for Gabe from her. Every crush, every heartache, every hookup, Amy had confided in Victoria. It hurt Victoria that she’d never given Amy that same trust.

She did it for Amy, though. She didn’t want to make her friend uncomfortable, and she didn’t want Amy to ever think that her love for Gabe had any impact on their friendship—it didn’t. Amy was her sister, and if Victoria was being honest with herself, she probably wouldn’t be here if it were not for having Amy by her side all those years.

Suddenly, Amy made eye contact with Victoria, her eyebrows crinkling with confusion before a huge smile broke out on her face. She winked, blew a kiss, and turned back to the group she was with. Victoria smiled, grateful to call Amy her best friend.

Gabe’s had slid down Victoria’s back, pulling at the thin material that barely covered her body, effectively pulling Victoria from her thoughts, from any thought that wasn’t him. His head lowered into her hair, lips brushing over her ear and whispering, “how about we get out of here?” A chill ran down her spine as she pulled back from him.

Victoria stared up into his eyes, feeling his hands on her waist and his hard body pressed against hers. Gabe towered over her, his aged features making him look even more powerful and strong than he had all those years ago when she’d last seen him. He was even more handsome now. Victoria had waited for what felt like her entire life to give herself to Gabe, turning down countless suitors and saving herself for the man she loved, the man who she hoped would one day love her. And today was that day.

She smiled slowly, knowing that her voice would give away her emotions and choosing instead to nod at him, nibbling on her lip and watching him stare down at her doing so. He looked at her lips like a starving animal, and she couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like if he kissed her.

Gabe turned, pulling her into his side and leaving his hand resting possessively on her lower back, like she was his prize. She smiled, wrapping her arms around him as they walked, knowing that her dream was finally coming true. Gabe would finally be hers, as she had always been his.

They walked together, and despite refusing Gabe’s offer for a drink, she felt utterly intoxicated. Just being with him made her head spin; she didn’t need alcohol for that.

Slowly, they approached Amy and the man she was speaking with. They both turned to look at Gabe and Victoria, and when they did, Gabe’s hand traveled further down Victoria’s backside, giving a squeeze as if to remind her who she belonged to. She certainly didn’t need the reminder. She’d always been his.

“Congrats, little sister,” Gabe smiled at Amy, releasing Victoria to pull his sister into a hug. He kissed the top of her head before pulling back. “We’re about to head out, but great party! And great job.”

Amy’s smile was brilliant. “Thank you, Gabe. Really!” The sincerity oozing from her voice made Victoria smile. She couldn’t help it. Amy had always looked up to Gabe, and Victoria knew how much his approval meant to her. “Do you need a ride? I know you’ve had a couple drinks…” Amy trailed off, but Gabe waved his hand at her, shooing away the thought.

“I’m fine, I only had four drinks,” he laughed. Victoria felt a little funny.

“Plus all the drinks you had before we came here,” interjected the blonde man that had been standing there. His face looked incredibly concerned.

“Fuck off, Nick. You know I’m good,” Gabe shook his head, throwing a fake punch at his friend, who simply laughed it off, but the laugh never reached his eyes. “You need a ride, bud?”

“I’m good, I’ll walk. I was just congratulating Amy before I left,” Nick turned his gaze toward Amy and smiled. While Victoria didn’t know Nick well, she certainly knew Amy, and the look in Amy’s eyes sent a pretty clear message.

“You should stay a little longer!” Amy piped in. “I didn’t even bring out the cake.” Victoria almost laughed at her friend’s puppy dog eyes.

Amy had always had a way with men. Hell, Amy had a way with people in general. Everyone loved Amy. Before Victoria had become her friend, she’d hated her from sheer jealousy. How silly that was, now.

“Well, we’re out, but you two kids have fun,” Gabe wrapped his arm around Victoria’s waist once more, pulling her into him. It felt like home. “Nick, tomorrow? Lunch date?” He winked playfully.

Nick smiled handsomely, but no smile compared to Gabe’s.

“Fuck yeah,” Nick laughed. Then he looked to Victoria. “Sorry, hun. He was my boyfriend first.” All four of them broke out into laughter.

Victoria pulled away from Gabe, hugging Amy and congratulating her again before returning to Gabe’s side. Amy whispered something into her ear, but Victoria was flying too high to even hear it.

She was about to leave with Gabe.

Her heart pounded in her chest as the anticipation built within her, and her head spinning made her that much more appreciative of the strong man pulling her forward and holding her close.

 

***

 

AMY COULDN’T BELIEVE her eyes as she watched her brother stumble out the door with her best friend. She’d always known Victoria had some sort of crush on her brother, and she’d played along, but she never thought she’d see the day where something actually came of it. Gabe was seven years older than them, and while that age difference symbolized completely different worlds when they were younger, it really didn’t mean a thing now that Amy and Victoria were in their twenties. Still, it felt odd. Probably because she looked at Victoria as a sister, and Amy had always kind of assumed Gabe looked at her in the same way.

Then again, Victoria had truly come into herself in college. The once awkward teen who wore too much black makeup had evolved into something else entirely. She was an expert at using the bare minimum to highlight her already beautiful features, and the dress Amy had helped her pick out for tonight accentuated every curve in just the right way. Of course Amy’s drunk brother couldn’t resist her, not while she looked like that.

Amy had always suspected that Victoria’s feelings ran deeper than she had let on. Victoria had never once dated somebody, and unless she was seriously holding out on information, Victoria’s only experience with kissing had been during a silly game of truth or dare they had played in their sophomore year.

Amy hoped that Gabe didn’t hurt her friend. She was hopelessly enamored by him, and Gabe was… well, Gabe. He had a good heart, he truly did, but he had some demons, too. And Victoria… she was so innocent and naive when it came to her fantasy of what love was.

Amy had to hope the best for her friend, she really did. But it was her night, and it was just getting started. Amy smiled at her brother’s friend, Nick, whose dirty blonde hair and deep blue eyes had always made her feel a little wild. She held her hand out to him, inviting him to the dance floor, and while he smiled and took her invitation, she knew he would never cross any lines with her. He was a good guy. He always had been, and he always would be.

Nevertheless, it was her mission to make him a little bad, just for tonight. Amy pulled Nick to the dance floor and let all of her other thoughts fade into the music.

 

***

 

WAS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?

Victoria stared at Gabe, tall and powerful and looking at her like she was the cure to every ailment he’d ever had. She stood in her childhood bedroom, struggling to wrap her head around the fact that Gabe, the man she’d spent her teenage years fantasizing about in this very room, was here. The house was empty, completely quiet, and all she could hear was her breath.

“You’ve changed a lot,” Gabe said. His voice was low and perfect, like music in her ears.

“I take it that’s a good thing?” Victoria smiled.

The corners of Gabe’s mouth pulled into a huge grin as his eyes went over every inch of her body. His gaze burned through her and she shifted uncomfortably as he made his way up to her eyes.

“You’re stunning,” he growled as he quickly closed the space between them. He put his hand on her cheek and angled her face up towards him. She effortlessly got lost in his eyes.

Before she knew it, Gabe’s lips were on hers. He kissed her like he was a starving man, and she met him with the same hunger. She had wanted this for so long, she couldn’t believe it was actually happening, now. His lips moving against hers was Heaven, and before she knew it, the cloth wrapping around her body was on the floor, leaving her in only her bra and panties. She felt briefly self-conscious when he pulled away to look her over, but those feelings faded quickly as he pressed his lips to her collar bone.

His hands were all over her, squeezing and pulling her closer to him, as if he couldn’t get her close enough. He pushed her onto the bed and pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it behind him and falling over her. He kissed her lips, her neck, her collarbone, her chest. He pulled off her bra and trailed his tongue over her nipple.

She bucked under the flick of his tongue, and he looked up and smiled before turning his attention back to her breasts. When he took her breast into his mouth, she nearly lost it. She had heard plenty, read books, seen movies, but she never thought it would feel this good. She squeezed her legs around his torso, desperate to feel closer to him. He kissed a trail to her other breast, paying it equal attention before kissing down her stomach, getting lower and lower and driving her wild.

When he pulled off her panties, she tried to shut her legs, hide herself from him. Her heart was beating so fast she thought that it might just burst from her chest. He opened her legs, staring into her eyes the entire time.

“You’re beautiful, Victoria.”

And then he was on her, flicking his tongue against her most sensitive area. A moan escaped her mouth as all feelings of insecurity faded away. The only thing she could feel was pleasure, pure pleasure. She could feel the pleasure building inside of her as she rocked her hips against his mouth, and just as it was getting to be too much, he pulled away, kissing her stomach and standing.

He unbuttoned his pants, slowly unzipping them as his eyes watched Victoria’s, never breaking eye contact. He pulled down his jeans, revealing himself to her as she gaped at his body. He was huge, and Victoria was, well… inexperienced. She worried about whether she’d be able to handle him, about whether or not she’d feel good to him.

“Are you okay?” he asked, lowering himself onto the bed and stroking her side.

“Yes,” she answered quickly, her voice cracking.

He moved his hand to her face, staring into her eyes and pulling her face to his. He kissed her softly, gently. It was nothing like the kisses they’d been sharing all night. This was sweet, loving. Victoria melted under his touch, all fear dissipating as she gave herself to him completely.

 

***

 

GABE HAD MADE A MISTAKE. His head was spinning from the alcohol, the exhaustion, and what was easily the best orgasm he’d ever had. He pulled the beautiful girl beside him against his chest, closing his eyes, knowing that in only a few moments, he’d knock out completely. But then it happened.

She nestled into him, her warm body and soft curves feeling absolutely perfect against him. He never expected to hear her soft voice whisper three words that he thought he’d never hear, period, let alone from a one-night-stand. Not knowing what to do, he squeezed her tighter and kissed her forehead.

His head was pounding, his body tired from the intensity of their sex. She was the best he’d ever had, no doubt, and it wasn’t because he was drunk. Gabe could hold his liquor, and he’d had much more and not enjoyed sex nearly this much. Victoria was special, there was no doubt, and he was just starting to realize how special she was.

When it came to sex, for Gabe… it was just sex. Pleasure. Release. That was it. But with Victoria? Fuck, with Victoria it was like they became one person. He’d never experienced anything like it, never felt so out of his head and into the moment.

He took a deep breath and could smell the sweet smell of their sex, the sweet lavender of her hair. He could breathe in that smell forever. Fucking perfect.

He sighed, knowing by the softness of her breaths that she’d fallen asleep.

Gabe desperately wanted to stay, to sleep, to wake up in the middle of the night and get on top of her again. But no matter what he wanted, he knew what he had to do.

Those three words told him that he’d made a mistake, because he’d never be more than this to her; he was a good fuck. Nothing else.

He slipped out of her bed, carefully maneuvering so as to not wake her up. He slipped into his clothes and got out of that house, hopping into his truck and heading back to his and Nick’s apartment to pass out.

When he got into his bed, he could still smell her on his skin, and for some reason, that brought him comfort while he faded away into sleep.

 

***

 

 

VICTORIA WAS SURPRISED to wake up to a cold bed, but she knew that Gabe had plans with his friend—what was his name? Nick?—so she assumed he just didn’t want to be late. She stretched her arms, feeling the pleasant soreness of their lovemaking and looking to the clock. She couldn’t believe it, she’d slept in until noon. Crazy!

She hopped out of bed and skipped into the bathroom, her makeup still nearly perfect from the night before and her wavy blonde hair needing little touching up. She slipped into denim shorts and a GNR tee shirt before hopping onto the bed and checking her cell phone. No messages.

Victoria sighed, mulling over her options in her head. Then she decided to give Amy a call. She picked up on the third ring.

“Vic?”

“Hi, Amy! How was the rest of your party?”

“We have so much to talk about, Vic!” Victoria could hear the laughter in her friend’s voice. “Do you want to go grab lunch?”

“Sure!” Victoria responded quickly.

Lunch with Amy was a good idea. It would give Victoria a chance to fill Amy in on what had happened with Gabe the night before. And after that? Hopefully she’d be able to find Gabe so that he and Victoria could have a talk about what exactly was going on between them.

Victoria got into her dark red sedan, clicking on the radio and pulling out of her parents’ driveway. Thank goodness they’d been out of state all weekend for a fundraiser.

As she drove over to Amy’s house, she couldn’t stop thinking about Gabe. He had brought her more pleasure than she’d ever experienced, melting away her insecurities with his kisses and making her feel completely safe for the first time in her life. Falling asleep in his arms was effortless.

As she was dozing off, she accidentally told him she loved him. It terrified her that she let those words slip out, but he pulled her closer and kissed her forehead, letting her know he felt the same. She smiled, wondering how on Earth she was going to tell her friend that she’d fallen in love with her older brother. As awkward as it might be at first, Amy would understand. Victoria knew that she would.

Pulling up to the curb in front of Amy’s, Victoria honked her horn and waited for her friend. She looked at her eyes in the rearview mirror, staring at how the black eyeliner had perfectly outlined her baby blue eyes.

In truth, Victoria was still the plain jane she was in high school, she’d just had her features age in a nice direction and learned a hell of a lot about makeup.

She briefly worried about what Gabe would think when he first saw her without her eyeliner and elongated lashes, but she quickly pushed away the thoughts.

He would love her, as she loved him. He had to.

Amy got into the car, effectively silencing Victoria’s thoughts and pulling her into an embrace. When she pulled away, Amy’s green eyes, nearly identical to her brother’s, were dancing with curiosity.

“So how was Nick?” Victoria smiled.

“You’re funny,” Amy muttered, pulling on her seatbelt. “Funny, funny, funny.” Amy shook her head.

“C’mon! How was he?” Victoria giggled.

“Nick was Nick. We danced, we laughed, we had a great time, and then he went home after telling me what a ‘great kid’ I am,” Amy rolled her eyes. “So. Spill it.”

“Spill what?” Victoria teased, knowing exactly what Amy wanted to hear about.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe about what the hell happened after you left the party with my brother on your arm!”

Victoria smiled, biting her lip and starting the car. She began heading downtown, figuring they could get sandwiches at one of the little shops down there. Amy hummed impatiently beside her, waiting for an answer.

“We hungout for awhile,” Victoria finally gave her. She tried desperately to keep herself from smiling, but she just couldn’t help herself. The smile broke across her face. She kept her eyes on the road, but could feel Amy’s hard stare desperately trying to see through her.

“And?”

Victoria bit her lip again. Just as she was opening her mouth to speak, she saw Nick and Gabe walking down the street together, Gabe’s arm resting around Nick’s shoulder as they stumbled around. Victoria turned to Amy, but her friend already knew, telling her to pull over and nearly leaping from the car.

Victoria took in a deep breath and stepped out from the driver’s side, walking over to the sidewalk where Amy stood.

“Hey, guys!” Amy called out. They both looked up, smiling at her. Gabe’s eyes quickly went to Victoria, and something flashed in them before he went back to looking at Amy. Victoria couldn’t quite figure out what that emotion was… but it looked a lot like fear.

Victoria’s stomach grew a little tighter, but she pushed that feeling away. After what they shared last night, she had no reason to worry. She knew that.

As everyone shared greetings, Gabe stopped and looked at Victoria.

“Hi, Gabe,” she smiled.

He looked down at her before furrowing his eyebrows and cocking his head to the left. “And who might you be, darling?” he asked.

Victoria could smell the beer on his breath and wondered how many drinks he’d had. But he’d been drinking the night before, and he hadn’t been acting like this. Something else was wrong.

“You’re kidding, right?” Amy said to her brother.

Gabe looked at her with playful eyes, raising his eyebrows as if waiting for her to add more.

Victoria felt her heart sinking in her chest.

Last night, Gabe couldn’t keep his eyes off of her, and now, he wouldn’t even make eye contact.

“I’m Victoria… “ her voice trailed off as a thousand thoughts ran through her mind. Surely, he was joking. Gabe was joking with her. He’d always been a funny guy. He was joking with her.

“Ohhh!” he drew the word out, nodding with recognition and pulling Victoria under his arm. “Little Vicky! Nick, this is my sister’s friend Victoria.” Victoria pulled out of his arms and stared up at him.

“What are you talking about?” she demanded.

“How’s college been, Vic? Meet any boys?” Her heart was breaking.

“Gabe, what about-” she cut herself off, pulling him away from the other two and lowering her voice, “what about last night?” she asked.

“Last night?” he looked puzzled, but she could see the lie in his eyes.

He had to be lying. She needed him to be. She turned to ensure Nick and Amy were out of earshot, and they were. There was no way they’d overhear Victoria and Gabe.

“Gabe. It’s not funny,” she spit out the words as her stomach flopped around inside of her.

“I’m not trying to be funny. Now what the hell are you talking about, Vic?” he stared at her, no, he stared through her, his face cold and emotionless. Victoria thought she might be sick as tears threatened to break free and spill over her lashes.

“I thought you cared about me…” Victoria wasn’t quite talking to him, anymore. Her words were spilling out as she mentally berated herself for being so foolish, so naive. Everyone had laughed at her, joked at her visions for her and Gabe’s future together. She always thought she’d prove them wrong. She always believed in a future for her and Gabe. Always.

“You thought wrong,” Gabe said coldly. She looked back up at him as the first tear fell down her cheek. He did remember. She looked around him to see Amy’s face, staring at her and scrunched up with concern.

“Why?” she choked out, fighting against herself as she tried to hold it all together. Be stronger. Be stronger. Be stronger. Who was she kidding? She was weak, and she knew it. She had always been weak. God, she wished she could be strong.

“Because I was drunk and you were there,” he muttered underneath his breath. A sharp exhale as all the air escaped from her lungs. The tears poured out, now, and she couldn’t do anything to fight it. She squeezed her eyes shut and prayed that this was all a dream, prayed to be stronger, prayed to be somebody else, anybody else.

None of her prayers were answered.

“Quit embarrassing yourself, Victoria. And quit embarrassing me.” She opened her eyes and looked up at him, his grimace cold and… disgusted with her. “Grow up,” he muttered as he pushed away from her, walking back over to his friend.

Bile rose in Victoria’s throat as she did everything she could to keep from collapsing right there. Be stronger. Breathe. Her world stopped turning.

 

***

 

 

“I THOUGHT YOU CARED about me…” Victoria’s soft voice cracked with pain, and it nearly broke him. His heart was aching for this poor girl, but Gabe knew what he had to do. For once in his life, he was going to make the right decision. He was going to be the bad guy for a damn good reason. He would seem cruel but damn it, he was trying to be kind. He was trying to do right by her.

“You thought wrong,” he gritted through his teeth. No emotion. Show her no emotion. Victoria’s eyes wandered around him, and a single tear fell from her eye. He wanted so badly to wipe that tear from her cheek, to apologize and explain to her that he was doing this for her.

He didn’t.

“Why?” she asked, her voice filled with so much pain that his chest grew tight. God, he wanted to hug her, to apologize, to tell her last night was a mistake that shouldn’t have happened and that he should’ve been smarter for her.

But this was it, this was what he had to do. This was his chance to save her.

“Because I was drunk and you were there.” The lie tasted bitter in his mouth. Her jaw fell open and the tears poured out. He took a deep breath before twisting the knife, ensuring he severed any ties she had left to him. “Quit embarrassing yourself, Victoria. And quit embarrassing me.” Another deep breath. He felt completely disgusted with himself for what was coming next. “Grow up.”

He walked away from her, nearly ran. Stormed right past his friend and continued walking. He couldn’t look at her anymore. It was tearing him apart.

Truthfully, Gabe liked Victoria. He did. He thought she was smart and sweet and honest, the most selfless person he’d ever known. She would set herself on fire to keep somebody warm, no matter who that person was.

On top of being an amazing person, she’d given him one of the best nights of his life. For the first time in as long as he could remember, Gabe had felt alive. Her body against his, her soft moans, her tender kisses, they made him feel human, like maybe there was a chance for him to be more, to be better.

But she had said she loved him, and that wasn’t something he could allow. He was in no position to have somebody love him, especially not somebody like her. He would hurt her, no doubt. And he wasn’t going to sit back and let that happen. She was a good girl, and he was a mess, and he wasn’t going to poison her with his issues. No way.

So he broke her heart. Because he’d rather do it now than later, he’d rather tear her apart and sever any tie that she had to him while it was all new and fresh so that she could move on and find happiness somewhere else. She deserved that. And he deserved…

His eyes fell to the half empty beer bottle poking out from his pocket. His third of the day, and it wasn’t even two in the afternoon.

He deserved to drown at the bottom of this bottle for all the fucking shit he’d done.

Gabe hoped that Victoria would understand someday. Or he hoped that she’d forever hate him. That would be better than her loving him… that would be better than her ruining herself for him.

He did the right thing. He was being the good guy. He kept telling himself that, but still, he struggled to believe it. He wanted to save her, and this had been his way of doing that. He only hoped it worked… and deep down, somewhere inside of him, he hoped she’d forgive him one day.

 

***

 

VICTORIA SAT ON THE floor of her shower, hot water rushing over her, soaking her clothes. Black lines ran down her cheeks, her blonde hair sticking to her face. Her lips trembled as her body ran out of tears to cry. She felt numb.

He didn’t care about her. Not at all. Worse, he was embarrassed by her… she swallowed hard, squeezing her eyes shut and willing away the urge to vomit. She felt sick, broken, torn into a million tiny pieces.

Her mind went back to his tender kisses, the way his lips moved passionately against hers. She thought about when she gave herself to him, how he moved in so slowly, making sure she was okay every moment. He’d stared into her eyes, kissing her, pulling out slowly and then shoving back inside. The slight pain quickly transformed into pleasure, their bodies mixing and melting together.

She thought about her pleasure overflowing, her body squeezing tight around him as his breathing came heavier and heavier, as he thrust harder and harder into her. She remembered feeling his release as he exploded in her, remembered the way his hands held her so tight, as if he wouldn’t survive if she moved away from him. She remembered…

Victoria shot up, standing so quickly that it made her dizzy. She ripped her clothes off and stood in the shower naked, cranking up the hot water and covering herself in body wash. She took a hard cloth and scrubbed her entire body, from her toes up to her neck, scrubbing and scrubbing until her skin was raw.

No matter how much she scrubbed, or how hot she made the water, she could still feel his hands on her skin. She rinsed off and stepped out of the shower, wiping the mirror off and staring at herself.

Her flesh was red and raw, her cheeks blackened with bleeding mascara, her hair sticking to her face and upper body. She had never felt as weak as she did in this moment, but as she stared at her face in the mirror, something came over her, spreading like a wildfire throughout her body and in her very soul.

“I will never be weak again,” she muttered to herself. A vow. A promise. Never again.