Kat

There’s a dip in the mattress beside me. My eyes flutter open a smidge to watch Kade slip under the covers in a pair of boxers. The mother in me wants to scold him for climbing into bed with an emotional pregnant lady, wearing nothing but his skivvies. The rest is grateful to have a body to curl up next to. To gather the warmth that’s been missing from my life for what feels like years. Loneliness has a way of breaking your spirit, and this week, it’s zapped everything from my soul. I need a recharge.

Resting his head on the pillow next to mine, he burrows closer, until our noses are two inches from touching.

“You awake?” he whispers, wafting the scent of crisp beer up my nose. I can’t help but grin.

“Yeah,” I whisper just as quietly like it matters what our decibels are.

Nobody else is gonna hear us. Nor care. We’re not in high school, hiding from our parents, trying not to get caught. He didn’t just sneak in through my bedroom window to ravish me like you read about in books. A muted giggle bubbles its way up and out of my throat at the thought.

“Why are we whispering?” I say through a tired smile, disregarding the niggling pain in my face.

“Because I didn’t know if you were asleep.”

The edge of his lopsided grin is highlighted by the sliver of light sneaking out of the cracked bathroom door. I turned it on after the Sacred Sisters left. They didn’t stay long, per my request. It’s uncomfortable conversing with a set of women who look at you with pity. There’s only so much of that I can take. So when I told them I needed to sleep, Deb, the more assertive one, was hesitant to leave me be. After a few practiced yawns, over exaggerated arm stretches, and a trip to the bathroom, she relented and they left. I’m not sure how long ago that was. But as soon as they departed, I climbed into bed and have been waiting for Kade ever since. Pretty sure I dozed here or there, because my eyes are crusty and there’s a small puddle of drool on my pillow. Sorry, Big.

“How’d the meeting go?”

Slithering like a snake through the tall grass, Kade’s hand crosses my side of the bed and bumps my belly. “Shit. Sorry. Where’s your hand?” he asks, patting my roundness in apology.

Untucking one from underneath the pillow, I offer it to him. “Right here.”

Without pause, Kade cups his bigger mitt over mine, pinning it to the mattress, so we’re sort of holding hands but not. It’s like softcore hand porn in the missionary position without any foreplay or penetration. The heat of his calloused palm seeps into mine, comforting me in only ways that Kade can. There’s nothing sexual or romantic about it. It’s two friends reconnecting as we lay on our sides, facing one another. Maybe he knows we can’t cuddle because it’ll be too much, but that his small gift of affection makes all the difference? Don’t ask me how he reads me like his favorite book. He just does. Not that I know if he has a favorite book. Most of the time when I drone on about mine, he teases me. What can I say? I’m sort of a nerd.

“We’ll talk about that shit in the morning,” he grumbles.

That doesn’t sound promising.

“Take it, it didn’t go well?”

The bed shifts and I think I see his shoulder rise and fall in a shrug. Though I can’t be sure; the room’s too dark to tell.

“It was fine,” he evades.

“Fine in girl talk means not okay. Or is this fine in man talk? Where it actually means fine. By your tone, I’d say this is the female version.”

Kade chuckles heartily, perfuming the air between us with more beer scent. I’m not sure if I’m grossed out or thankful to smell something familiar. It’s better than the industrial scent of the warehouse. Or the lingering stench of my bodily fluids fermenting in that bucket. Who knew after a few hours of smelling it, you’d become nose blind to the stink? Not me. I’m grateful for it, though.

“We’ll talk about it in the mornin’, Watermelon tits.”

Him and that damned nickname.

“I don’t wanna talk about it in the morning, Dickcheese. I wanna talk about it now,” I faux gripe, plying him to divulge anything and everything.

It feels like ages since we’ve talk talked. It’s different than chatting with a group of women you don’t know. Not that they’re bad. They’re not. They’re awesome. But when you’ve been locked up in a room for what feels like a month, you want something familiar to bring you back to reality. I’m grateful that Kade traveled all this way to be here for me. He’s a sweetheart.

“Ryker’s an asshole. How does that sound?” He sighs, exasperated.

“Sounds about right. Wanna talk about it?” Discussing Ryker and how much of an asshole he is, is so far up my alley that it’s in my driveway, with the window down, as I sing I Don’t Want No Scrubs.

BTW, that’s my jam.

“There’s nothin’ to say. I love my brother, but he’s fuckin’ stupid sometimes. He needs to pull his head outta his ass.”

“Tru dat, g-money,” I say in my most ridiculous thug voice.

“Did you just say g-money?” he snorts amused, and I think shakes his head. I can’t be certain. At least I know he’s smiling. Mission accomplished.

“Yeah. I did. I think your beer breath’s gettin’ me drunk.”

Kade covers his mouth. “Shit. I’m sorry,” he mumbles behind his fingers. I can’t help but laugh.

“It’s fine. Trust me. I promise. Anything is better than the smell of my own urine or a cold building.” He lets me peel his hand from his face and force it back to its rightful place.

“You sure?”

I can’t believe he’s this self-conscious.

“Sheesh. Yes. I’m sure.”

“Good. ‘Cause I’m pretty sure Big would murder me, then piss on my grave if I stole his toothbrush.” He’s dead serious.

“He would not. He’s letting us sleep in his bed, and I drooled on his pillow.”

Kade gasps dramatically. “Uh-oh. You better not tell him that. You might be next.”

I slap him playfully on the shoulder. “You’re so full of shit. Now back to Ryker. Why’s he an asshole? And have you talked to Dad? I haven’t.”

“No. You can talk to your dad tomorrow. He and Pops have been goin’ at it all night. Just let it go for now. We’ll discuss more of this in the mornin’. You need to get a good night’s sleep.” Kade yawns, making me think he needs it more than I do. I got a little rest as I waited for him, which seems to have tied me over for now.

“You’re staying with me all night, right?”

Please say he’s not gonna skip out after I’m down for the count. I don’t wanna wake up to an empty bed. Not tomorrow. Not after this week.

Kade leans in and sweetly pecks the tip of my nose. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, beautiful. Sleep well. And that’s an order.”

I smirk, immediately feeling a hundred times better. “Sir. Yes, sir… Night.”

In the light of day, I’ll finally see my girls again, and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve missed their cute butts like crazy. Then I’ll talk to Dad. And if I know him like I think I do, he’s probably going nuts not bein’ here. When I heard through the grapevine that Bear had left Dad behind, I felt for their situation. It’s gotta be difficult to navigate. But that’s too much for me to handle right now. I’ve got enough on my plate. Namely, a big asshole named Ryker whose necklace I’m still wearing as a reminder that I can’t trust him to do the right thing. Even Kade’s pissed at him, which doesn’t bode well for the situation.

Slipping my eyes shut, I inhale a deep lungful of air and blow it out, ridding my body of pent-up tension. Now’s not the time to overthink. Kade’s right. I need a good night’s rest. And there’s not a damn thing I’m gonna let stop me.