Chapter Twelve
Unable to concentrate on the journal in her lap, Louisa tapped her fingers against the cover. Most of the guests were worn out from the day’s activities and had retired to their bedchambers. She’d been waiting for Thornbrook for what seemed like forever, but the mantle clock assured her it had only been twenty minutes.
Footsteps sounded in the hall, and she opened the journal and forced herself to read the poem for the hundredth time.
The door creaked open slowly, and Thornbrook stuck his head into the room. He glanced around, presumably to be certain they were alone, then strode into the library, closing the door firmly behind him.
“My apologies for keeping you waiting. I received a missive from home this afternoon that required a reply, and I wanted to make sure it went out tomorrow morning.”
“Is everything all right?”
“Of course.”
“Now I feel guilty for keeping you away from your own affairs for so long. If you need to return to Rosemere—”
He pressed his index finger to her lips, effectively stopping her blathering. “Shh. I’m exactly where I want to be right now. Here. With you.”
She swallowed audibly. A rush of excitement swept through her, followed by an equal measure of dread. She was in conflict with herself. One part of her welcomed Thornbrook’s advances, but the other part of her steadfastly refused to give up her dream to own Walsley despite the fact that every fiber of her being longed for him. How was she to choose between Thornbrook and the home she loved?
He studied her for a moment, then sat on the chair across from her. “Have you made any headway deciphering the poem?”
The journal rested on her lap, but she didn’t need to read the poem as she had already memorized it. “I’m still concerned that it wasn’t meant to be a clue at all and we’re just wasting our time.”
“We’ll have a better idea once we’re able to open the boxes. Until then, we have nothing else to go on. But even if we don’t find anything, that doesn’t mean the poem is useless. It means we’re not very good at following vague clues.”
“Where do you think we should search next?” she asked.
“I don’t fancy dangling off a rope like your fearless, or perhaps careless, brother did, so I’d prefer to leave the wells for last, when we’ve exhausted all of our other options.” He marked his sketch of Walsley. “That leaves the gazebo, the two ponds, and the iron grate to investigate.”
“Let’s search the gazebo first, then your iron grate. If we haven’t found anything by then, we’ll move on to the other two.”
“It seems we have a plan. When do you propose we search the pavilion?”
“If it’s not raining, first thing tomorrow morning. It’ll probably be muddy, but it’s not that far. We’ll take James with us to keep everything proper, but considering how worn out most of the guests were from today, I don’t imagine we’ll have too many early risers.”
Louisa bit back a yawn and watched Thornbrook. He lifted his hand toward her, then dropped it back onto the settee. Then he fidgeted a bit more. Perhaps a bit more contact between them would help her make up her mind. “Thornbrook?”
“Yes?”
She pushed down her trepidation and blurted out, “Will you kiss me?”
He stiffened, then took a deep breath and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead, which wasn’t at all what she’d had in mind.
“No, I mean really kiss me.”
He sighed. “Louisa, I cannot. I promised your brother I wouldn’t—”
She pressed her index finger against his lips. “Edward isn’t here.”
He gently pulled her hand away and held it in his. “But your father—”
“—also isn’t here.” She placed her hands on either side of his face and leaned toward him, her eyes closed. His heady scent of lavender and citrus washed over her.
“Louisa,” he whispered, then finally, blissfully, his lips met hers.
A frisson flashed through her. He pulled her closer and brushed his lips softly across hers. The wet heat of his tongue touched the seam of her lips for a second, then he focused again on teasing her senses with his soft, warm lips against hers. She melted into him, leaning against his chest, enjoying the absolute rightness of being in his arms.
Moments later, he groaned and pulled back, meeting her eyes. “I’ve been waiting my whole life to do that.”
She grinned. “I believe it’s closer to a year.”
“Actually, it’s been nearly a year and a half, but it sure felt like forever.” He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, his mere touch sending a thrill through her.
“Why did you pull away?”
“Because you’re too much of a temptation and I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop if we continue.”
She blinked, unable to formulate a response to his startling statement. Being so close to him was overwhelming. It did strange things to her ability to think clearly. “I…um…”
He raised a brow. “If we’re still planning to rise early enough to search the pavilion, we’d better get some sleep. I’d like to see you to your bedchamber, but I think it’s only fair that I go to the stables and share our plans with James.”
She nodded.
“Good night, my lady.” He bowed and kissed the top of her hand, then rushed to the door.
She flopped back against the seat. So that was what it felt like to be kissed. It had been exhilarating and exciting and made her long for things she didn’t understand, but she wasn’t certain that it was worth possibly alienating her family to be with him. Although, if he had continued to kiss her like that, she might have been persuaded. But what if she chose him and then began to resent him for causing her to lose her home? It wouldn’t be fair to either of them. If only she could find a way to have both.
Louisa moved quickly to her bedchamber, and Nubbles jumped on her the moment she opened the door. At least she could count on his love for her to remain steadfast. She picked him up and flopped onto her bed. The relationship between her parents was of the sort normally only found in fairy tales, as was that between Edward and Isa, but could that sort of magic strike a third time in the same family?
Her growing attraction toward Thornbrook had taken her by surprise, but she wouldn’t rush into anything until she could be certain of both her feelings, and his. Were the potential rewards of marrying Thornbrook worth giving up Walsley? Was it possible he might agree to live at Walsley instead of his own estate? When her parents returned, she would ask Papa to allow Thornbrook to court her. Only then could she ask him to make such a sacrifice for her.