After walking Oliver, I’m in bed that night cuddling with him and eating Cheerios.

I kissed Tathan. In the hall.

What was I thinking?

I wasn’t. Again. Now he’s going to expect kissing and maybe even more on that date in a few weeks. I need to set some ground rules for that date, and myself.

But still. . . we kissed. Romantic-movie style. Speaking of romantic. . . I’m staring at the cover of Brides. You know, the one Tathan’s on the cover of. I stole it from Zane unbeknownst to him. The more I read into him, I realize there’s absolutely no way someone like him would ever want to be in a relationship with me. Dude’s freaking famous.

Relationship?

What happened to one date?

Eventually, I get up from my bed and reach for my laptop to check Facebook. I’m only on there a few minutes and watching a silly cat video my Aunt Kim posted when a private message pops up in the right corner from Tathan.

Tathan: Are you awake?

What the heck? How’d he find me on here? Oh, right. Facebook friends, thanks to Casey.

Me: I’m on here, aren’t I?

Despite my answer, I’m giddy he messaged me. Tathan Madsen private messaged me! I want to punch myself at how excited I am. You’d think I was just asked to prom. Who am I right now?

Me: Did you need something?

Tathan: Yes.

Me: Well?

Tathan: Hot tub?

Me: I already said no.

Tathan: Why?

Me: I’m busy.

Tathan: Really? Doing what? Sitting in bed with your dog?

Me: That’s none of your business.

Tathan: Amalie, I’m not that bad of a guy.

Me: You aren’t?

Tathan: No. I’m not, and you kissed me. I liked that kiss. I want more kissing. And I enjoy your company.

Of course he added that last part. I don’t answer, and he replies again.

Tathan: Let’s talk about our date. You said yes. No take backs.

Me: Not until you take Casey’s photos. Then I’ll give you the date.

Tathan: Why?

Me: You need to hold up your end of the deal first.

Tathan: I don’t break deals. What about you? What if I take the photos and you never give me that date?

Me: You know where I live, so there’s that. I’m sure you’d stalk me until I held up my end of said deal.

Tathan: True.

I don’t like replying through messages, so I type out:

Me: This is ridiculous. Meet me at the hot tub in ten minutes. I have to walk Oliver.

Tathan: Deal.

Of course he agrees instantly.

It’s a bad idea, and I know it, but I go anyway. I blame that kiss.

We meet outside my door five minutes later, and I try not to look, but I do. He has his towel over his shoulder revealing his tight body.

Not me. I wrap my towel tightly around my body. Tathan looks down at Oliver. “Is your dog going to bite me?”

“Nah, he’s not a biter. Just likes to growl and pee.”

Watching him as we walk, his head is lowered, concentrating on the ground, his lips parted slightly, and it draws me in. “So he’s like most men marking their territory?”

I raise an eyebrow at him as we walk toward the hot tub, Oliver growling at him the entire way as he walks behind us, mainly focused on Tathan. “Do you pee on my doorstep?”

I’m teasing, but he goes with it.

“No, just around the apartment complex. I’m very much like a lion patrolling my territory.” He smiles and holds open the gate for me. “I like to mark the neighborhood. That way they don’t even come close to the building.”

I laugh, a full-on laugh where I cover my mouth as it’s so loud. He’s funny, and I never realized that before now. “Your territory?”

He winks. “One could be optimistic, right?”

“If one was that confident.”

Confidently, he drops his towel to the ground. “One is.”

Goddamn. I give an audible sigh—which he notices—and sink down in the water across from him. I’ve never seen a man as pretty as him. Never.

“No one is entirely that confident,” I point out. “You have to have a weakness.”

“I do.” He smiles. “I can’t whistle.”

“See, I was hoping for something weird. Like a third nipple.”

Laughing, he glances down at his bare chest in the water. “Nothing like that. Sorry.”

Nope. Nothing but a perfect body I want to lick every inch of.

“It’s okay. I was hoping to feel normal around you instead of completely inadequate.”

His brow pulls together. “You shouldn’t feel that at all.”

“I do.” I watch the water for a long moment and the way the water bubbles around my knees I’ve pulled up to my chest. If I’m being honest, I’m afraid if I let my legs down, I’ll spread them and coax him between them.

It’s when Tathan opens his second beer he brought down with him, he opens up. “I always wanted to play music,” he admits, trying to make me feel better about my body I assume. “But I can’t. I’m horrible at it.”

“Like sing?”

“Yeah, but I can’t sing. At all.”

He’s playing a little Elvis on his phone, which I love so I tell him to sing along. “Try.”

He does and within a minute, I know he’s not lying.

I can’t stop the fit of giggles that emerge from my lips. “Oh yeah, stick to photography, buddy.”

“See.” He leans over and sets his beer on the edge of the hot tub near his towel. “I have faults.”

“Did you go to college for photography?” I want to change the subject, and I think he appreciates it.

He nods. “I actually went to Columbia because my parents both went there and then started my business while going to school. I took photos for the local papers and things like that to get my name out there. Then one of the girls in my class was getting married and wanted me to take her photos for the wedding. Turns out her parents were like super famous, had some fairly high-profile friends there, and it was just sort of the right exposure at the time.”

“Has photography always been your passion?”

“Yeah.” Pausing, his eyes drop from mine like he might be insecure sharing like this, but when they meet mine again, it’s anything but insecure. He’s confident and sure of everything he’s saying. “I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want to take photos. I used to have this little plastic camera when I was a kid. It didn’t take actual photos, but I thought it did and would go around taking photographs of everything, especially my mom ’cause she’d always pose for me. She was so beautiful that I wished there was a film in it so I could have captured her smile and the way she’d watch me. She’d sit there for hours just letting me pretend I was some famous photographer.”

His mom? He’s talking about his mother!

Clearing his throat, about the time I’m ready to cry, he says, “I’ve seen you out here in the mornings swimming.” He gives a nod to the pool behind us. “You look like it’s something you really enjoy.”

He’s getting at something, and I think I know what that it is. I know he’s seen me out here doing laps. He works out on Tuesday and Thursdays in the morning, and the gym overlooks the pool. If there is one thing that takes my mind off life in general, it’s swimming.

“You’re good,” he goes on to say. “Have you swam for a while?”

“Yeah, since I was like two I think.” I smile, but it’s fake and he knows it because I’m about to give him some truth, a piece of my life he knows nothing about. “Had a scholarship for it to Arizona State, but my dad had cancer, and I needed to take care of him.”

“I’m sorry. Did he. . .?” He’s not saying the last part, like it hurts to ask the question but he’s curious.

I nod. “Yeah, two years ago.”

“I’m really sorry.” Tathan’s eyes are distant, as though he’s remembering his own tragic loss which I’m sure, hurts as much today as it did then. If there is one thing I know about losing someone, it’s that it never gets easier. Sure, with time it’s not on your mind as much, but the pain is always there just below the surface, waiting for the next moment to remind you.

Maybe he didn’t want to be sad. I’m not sure, and I blame myself for bringing it up, but Tathan groans and covers his hands with his face.

“What?” I ask, looking around like something is suddenly wrong. “Are you okay?”

His hands slowly drop from his face and drop back into the water as he peeks over at me. “I’m fucking dying sitting next to you in that bikini.”

I roll my eyes, of course he’s not sad; he’s horny. I give his shoulder a shove. “Suck it up.”

“I’d like to suck on something else.” Tipping his head to the side, his eyes drop to my chest.

“Oh my God,” I stand, laughing, and he sighs, looking sad and excited because he now has a full view of my body. “You’re such a boy.”

He grabs my hand, pulling me back down into the water next to him. “Don’t go. I’ll be good. Promise. Well, I know I can be good to you, if you’ll let me.” The grin returns.

“You aren’t helping your case, ya know.”

He’s lying, he’s not going to be good, but I stay because of the dimples he gives me when he smiles.

Only I sit far away from him.

I kept my distance and before long we’ve been out here over an hour, and I’m feeling lightheaded. “I need to get out.”

He nods, reaching for his towel. “I’ll walk you up.”

Somewhere during our time in the hot tub, his mood changed. He doesn’t say much as we part, just a “Night,” offered in passing and he’s behind his door again.

Maybe he was thinking about our kiss, and maybe he wasn’t. Either way, I’m not exactly sure what to make of this situation.

Had I upset him? And why do I care? I’m supposed to be avoiding him and now here I am worried I’ve offended him. See, this is why I needed to keep my distance from him. I’m getting emotionally attached to hot tubbing him.