Chapter Twenty-Five
Grace cried herself to sleep that night. Ian had never returned home, and she assumed he slept at the club. Had he been with another woman?
She recalled the masked women who frequented the club, many of whom she suspected would eagerly invite him to their bed. Would he accept?
She felt a nauseating sinking of despair. She could not allow her thoughts to turn in that direction. Still, though she may not be wise in the ways of men, it was imperative that she face the truth. He didn’t want her as much as he wanted the Raven Club. He wanted her gone.
She got up, summoned Rose, and dressed. Checking on her father, she was relieved to find him still asleep and breathing peacefully this time. She ate a quick breakfast in the breakfast room—alone—then called for her maid once again.
“Rose, please help me pack my trunks. We are going on a trip.”
“A trip? To where?”
“Home.”
“But isn’t this our home now?”
“No. I am taking my father home. I will care for him there. I wish to see Adam as well.”
The explanation pacified Rose, and she set to work packing Grace’s clothing.
It was a convenient plan. She needed the time away from Ian and his home to think. Her father would be more comfortable in his own residence, and she could see to his needs.
Having spent an afternoon packing, she allowed the two burly footmen, whom she’d first seen when arriving here, to carry her trunks down. She met them in the vestibule and instructed them to place the trunks aside just as there was a knock on the door.
Jenkins came forward to open it. Brooks stood in the doorway.
“My lady,” he said, his dark eyes noticing the trunks in the corner. “Are you going on a trip?”
She glanced behind him before inwardly shaking her head. If her husband was with Brooks, he would not have knocked.
“I feel the need to return home.”
“You are home.”
If one more person reminded her of that fact, she would scream out her frustration. “I’m taking my father home. Dr. Stedler said it would be safe for him to travel the short distance in a padded carriage.”
“I see.”
Did he? Had he spent the evening with Ian? His clothing was rumpled. and his dark hair looked as if he’d repeatedly run his fingers through it, but then again, Brooks never seemed overly concerned with his appearance.
“If you are seeking Ian, he isn’t here,” she said.
Brooks stepped into the vestibule. “I know. I just left him. I came to see you, my lady. Might I have a quick word with you?”
She hesitated. Why would he want to talk with her? Had Ian sent him? Unlikely. Her husband was too proud to send his friend to convey a message. If Ian wanted to tell her something, he would come himself.
At her hesitation, Brooks added, “It won’t take much time, and I can help carry the baron to the carriage.”
“Thank you, but when we are ready to travel, the footmen will see to the task. Meanwhile, we can talk in the drawing room.”
He followed her inside, and she closed the drawing room doors. She took a seat in a chair and motioned for him to join her in another armchair. “Please sit and tell me what is so important you sought me out.”
Brooks settled his large frame in the dainty chair. “Do you know about Ian’s past with his father?” he asked.
“You mean about his arranged engagement to Lady Madeline?”
Brooks nodded. “The earl was a cruel man. Strict with all his children and his wife.”
“Ian told me all this, and I don’t see what—”
“Ian wasn’t his.”
Grace’s mouth opened. “What do you mean?” Even as the question left her lips, she understood.
“Ian’s mother, the former Lady Castleton and the current dowager, had an illicit affair. Ian was the only child who wasn’t of the earl’s bloodline.”
“Did the earl know?”
“He did. He acknowledged Ian as his own only because to not do so would reveal him to be a cuckold. He had hated Ian since birth and let him know it every day of his life. He’d often taunt him that he’d wanted to toss him to the orphanage where he’d belong. The betrothal to Madeline was a form of punishment, not only for Ian, but also for his mother.”
My God. Ian had been an innocent child. The circumstances of his birth were not his fault, but to threaten a boy and to punish him as a young man by forcing him to marry a mentally ill woman was beyond cruel.
“Do Ellie and Olivia know?”
“They are the earl’s children. As far as I know, they do not know.”
“I would never tell them.”
“Ian says you know about his donations to the orphanages and the asylums.”
“I thought he donated to the Orphaned Children’s Relief Society because his mother was a member of the charity. Now I know the true reason.” As a child, Ian must have lived in fear of being sent away to one of those establishments.
“Did you know about the servants as well?”
Her head snapped up. “What of them?”
“Perhaps he hasn’t told you everything. Ask his housekeeper, Mrs. Smithson. She used to be one of our best croupiers.”
Of course! She’d thought the servants odd when she’d first arrived here. “Had they all been in difficult circumstances?”
“Many of them. It goes back to Ian’s past.”
“Why? What makes him do these things?”
“His past is what has forged him and made him the man he is today. Ian ended up as a bare-knuckle boxer. It wasn’t easy for him. He fought for years and spent more nights in pain than he did in comfort. He sees everything as black or white, never gray. But I know him better than anyone. He feels deeply and cares for you more than you believe.”
“He has a strange way of showing it. He is cold and indifferent toward me in the day. Only at night,” she said, blushing, “does he express emotion.”
“He’s afraid, you must see that now. He was rejected by his father and told he was worthless from the day of his birth. His mother was powerless to stop it and could not even prevent the betrothal to Madeline. Ian is afraid to love, but he is a man capable of great loyalty. The employees of the Raven can attest to this. Do not abandon him yet.”
“And the Raven Club?”
“You see the club as bad, but I’ve always seen it differently. The place gives you power to aid others. Do not let your father’s addictions turn a blind eye to all that it can do.”
After Brooks departed, Grace instructed Jenkins to summon Mrs. Smithson, and then hurried to the library.
She sat in the leather chair behind Ian’s desk and flipped through the ledgers until she came to the entries that had puzzled her when she’d first studied them. Initials. She’d thought they were for other charities, but now that she was looking at them, she realized they were initials of names.
Names of people he’d hired at the club.
A low knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. Mrs. Smithson swept inside. “You asked for me, my lady?”
“Were you employed at the Raven Club before coming here?” Grace asked without preamble.
“I was.”
“And all the other servants the earl hired?”
“All of the staff, but Jenkins.”
Of course, Grace recalled Ian saying the butler had come with the home. “Why?” Grace asked.
“We volunteered.”
“No. You misunderstand. Why would my husband hire from the club?”
“It’s what he does, my lady. He uses the Raven to rescue others. We were all in bad straits when Ian found us. My husband worked in the factory and when he died I found work in a local tavern, but it wasn’t enough to pay the rent. Lord Castleton found me and hired me to work the tables. I once overheard Brooks say that the Raven saved them both, and they decided to do the same for others.”
In some strange way, it made sense.
The club had offered refuge to many—employment, a way to make ends meet.
But how many had it destroyed?
Her own father? She had to acknowledge the likelihood that eventually he would have met the same fate. If not for Ian taking him under his watch at the Raven Club, perhaps things would have come to a head even sooner. Nothing she could have done would have stopped it. She knew it deep in her bones.
She had the power to do good. To continue to use the Raven as Ian had to better lives. Whether or not he could love her was a completely separate issue, she realized. She had given him an ultimatum. He may not love her, but she didn’t need to force him to sell the club.
As for his feelings for her? Now that she knew of his past—all of his past—was there more there? Could he love her?
If he could not, could she stay?