A week went by, and things went on as if nothing had changed.

A second week passed, and it was like I’d become a ghost. At work and The Underground. If it weren’t for a few texts from Faye, I would’ve thought everything had been one long dream I’d just woken up from.

After Liam and I argued—honestly, I wasn’t even sure what to label that conversation—I hadn’t heard from him. I’d seen him fight a few more times, but he never sought me out. I was afraid whatever friendship we’d begun had already fizzled out. It hurt more than I realized it would. Like the idiot I was, I’d hoped this time would be different.

It wasn’t. At least on the surface.

My workload at work had lightened significantly since I stood up to Susan. I was still delegated extra but not as much as before.

I had an actual lunch break these days, but I wasn’t entirely happy about taking it. Being idle forced my brain to tick over, and when I thought too much, I started to dwell, and when I dwelled, I started to flounder.

I was sitting at my desk, scrolling through my email, when an instant message appeared on my computer screen. I frowned when I saw it was from Matt, the head of customer relations, otherwise known as my boss’s boss.

When you’ve got a minute, could you come see me in my office?

What did he want with me? I glanced over my shoulder at Susan, but she was on the phone talking to a client, her pleasantries sounding as fake as the gossip she spread around the water cooler. I began to worry she’d made a complaint about me, but waiting two weeks wasn’t her style. If she was going to make a stink, she would’ve gone into Matt’s office immediately afterward and stamped her foot.

I stood, smoothing down my skirt. I’d better go now. Otherwise, I would stew in my own juices until I got it over with.

When I approached, I saw his door was open. He was lounging back in his chair, staring pensively at his monitor. He was in his early forties, a typical suit kinda guy, and had worked for the company for ten years before I’d shown up. He was good at his job, albeit a little touchy-feely…especially when it came time for the office Christmas party.

I knocked lightly on the doorframe. “Matt…” He glanced up. “You wanted to see me?”

“Yes, Alison. Come in.” He waved me forward. “Close the door if you wouldn’t mind.”

The latch clicked behind me as I closed us in the office together. Taking a seat opposite him, I folded my hands in my lap.

“You’ve been working here, what…three years now?” he began, straightening his tie.

“A little over, yes.”

“You’ve always been a good employee,” he went on. “Always early, working diligently, most times above and over what’s been required of you.”

This sounded promising, but I was waiting for the catch.

“I’ve noticed the change in you lately.” His gaze raked over my torso, and I began to fidget, not liking the way he was staring at me. “And I’ve been talking with the other department heads about opportunities in the company. There are several openings available for bright, young employees to step up into. Minor management positions. It would be more responsibility, and the pay grade would be more than you earn now.” He stood and smiled down at me. “I would like to put you forward for the position in customer service.”

“You want to give me a promotion?” I asked.

“Yes, I think you deserve it,” he went on. “But there’s one thing you have to do before I can sign off on it.”

“Which is?”

Rounding the desk, he sat in the chair next to me and unzipped his fly. My mouth dropped open, and I glanced at the door, my heart galloping in my chest.

“Suck my cock like a good girl, swallow, and you’ll get it.”

“You…”

“Suck my cock, Alison.”

Shocked, I stumbled to my feet, the chair sliding backward as he shoved down his boxers. The moment he fisted his erection, I felt like gagging.

“This is sexual harassment,” I declared. “Do you really think I would put that little worm in my mouth to move up one measly pay grade? I’m not that cheap. In fact, you can’t afford me.”

Matt rose to his feet, his pants sliding off his ass. He snarled as his expression darkened, and he grabbed my arm. “You’ll suck, or you can kiss your job goodbye.”

Wrenching my arm free, I lifted my hand and slapped him in the face. His head snapped to the side, and I backed away, fuming. Of all the…

“Fuck you and your job,” I said with a snarl as I opened his office door. “Suck your own cock, you filthy prick!”

By this time, the entire floor had turned to stare, catching the head of customer relations with his pants down. As for me, I didn’t stop. I strode across the office, grabbed my bag, and turned. My gaze met Susan’s, and I scowled.

She was staring at me in shock, her mouth open. I could’ve said a lot of things to her at that moment. I’d dreamed about telling her where to stick it for so long I could’ve rattled off at least a hundred obscenities, but it wasn’t worth it. None of this was worth the stress I’d put myself through for the last three years.

I wondered if that was why it hurt so much. I’d wasted all that time trying to please people who’d never see me as more than a metaphoric punching bag.

Sighing, I left my security pass behind, then walked across the office and pushed outside into the glorious autumn weekday. It was a slice of time I’d never seen before, and it was thrilling knowing I’d hacked off the ball and chain that had been dragging me down.

I could do anything now. Anything at all.

* * *

I didn’t want to go home, so I went to the only other place I felt comfortable. The Underground.

It was a bag full of irony. It was the place where I’d almost been molested on my first attempt at living life. The place where I met the most complicated man on the planet. The place where I made my first genuine friend in years. Criminals, money launderers, compulsive gamblers, men addicted to violence, gold diggers, and loose morals…like I fit in here. I didn’t fit anywhere, but at least no one masqueraded as something they weren’t.

I picked at the label on the bottle of cider I’d ordered. Faye wasn’t working tonight, but I didn’t need her to hold my hand. I had to stand on my own two feet now.

Suck my cock like a good girl. I felt like puking.

“Ali…”

I glanced up from my drink and narrowed my eyes. Liam.

I was so not in the mood. I was done trying to ‘get out there.’ All that was waiting for me was an even bigger pile of steaming shit. I could sprinkle all the glitter I wanted over it, but underneath, it still stunk the same. Swallow, and you’ll get what you want.

I was so not drunk enough to get past today. An hour after I’d left work, the adrenaline faded and reality set in. I was up shit creek without a paddle if I couldn’t find another job in the next month. Hand me another drink.

“Ali,” Liam said again, this time taking the bottle from my hand.

“What?” I snapped, snatching it right back.

“What’s the matter with you?” he asked, frowning at me.

“Leave me alone,” I replied. “You’re good at that.”

“Ali…”

“You’ve been avoiding me.” The alcohol had gone straight to my head, and my filter was malfunctioning. “Two weeks of ignoring me and now you want to talk? I saw you giving me side-eye and taking the long way around, you know.”

He shrugged and sat beside me. “Can’t lie.”

I didn’t ask him why. To me, the answer was obvious. I wasn’t the right kind of girl—I still referred to myself as a girl, and I was twenty-eight years old—and I didn’t know the first thing about oral sex, let alone knew what it felt like to do it doggy style.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, watching me closely. “You’re upset, and I’m not arrogant enough to think it’s about me.”

“I quit my job today,” I replied, wondering if I could learn a little MMA and sign up for the women’s league at The Underground. “I’m still a little shocked, to be honest. Then there’s you, you asshole. I just want to drink.”

He ignored my name calling and focused on the job part. “By the look on your face, I’m not sure it was voluntary?”

I shook my head, my skin crawling. “Far from it.”

“What happened?”

“My boss offered me a promotion…”

“That doesn’t sound bad,” Liam began, but I snorted.

“To seal the deal, he demanded I give him a blowjob.”

“You’re kidding me?” he bellowed.

“It seems a makeover to give me a little more confidence also made me into a slut.” I rolled my eyes. “Put a woman in pretty clothes, do her hair all nice, and suddenly, she’s nothing more than a glorified hole. Sexist pig.”

“For what it’s worth, I don’t see you as a hole,” Liam declared, a vein pulsing in his forehead. I watched it throb, wondering if it was going to burst. “What are you staring at?”

“You’re angry,” I replied. “Join the club. Membership’s wide open.”

“Of-fucking-course, I’m angry. There’s a difference between a bit of fun and being forced. It’s called consent, Ali.”

“Is that why you bailed me out with Mountain?”

He ran his hand over his face. “Yeah.”

“Is that why you treat me like shit when I ask you about personal stuff?” I rolled my eyes. “Should I ask you for your consent to be your friend before we go any further? Because I’ve had it up to here with being steamrolled.” I held my hand up over my head. “If you’re going to be a bastard, then just leave me the hell alone.”

“Ali, stop it. You’re a fucking lightweight.” He took the cider from me and finished off the last quarter in one go.

“Hey!” I swiped uselessly at him.

“Do you need money?” he asked, slamming the empty onto the bar. “I can give you some. I win more than I need.”

“You’re offering me money?” I scowled. “You want to buy me for a night?”

“Shit, Ali,” he cursed.

“You’ve known me for what? A month or whatever… And now you want to give me money? No one ever wants to give anyone money for nothing.”

“Stop,” he said, grasping my shoulders. “Listen to me for a second, okay?”

I stilled, staring into his eyes. My anger still bubbled, and my head was swimming, but I put a lid on it.

“Honestly, I feel a little responsible,” he began, and I snorted. “Listen. You were this shy, little mouse a few weeks ago, and with a little encouragement, you’ve come out of your shell. Look at how far you’ve come already. I can’t shut you up now, and you’re borderline drunk. Imagine what you could do in a few month’s time. Imagine what you could do in a year. In a fucking lifetime. There’s more inside you than all this.” He ran his hands through my hair, brushing away all the frustration and fear I’d been holding inside. “This is your armor. We all have one. It helps us grow what’s underneath until it’s strong enough to stand on its own. I can see it, that’s why…”

“You don’t even know me,” I complained.

He grunted. “Stop asking why, and just go with it. Sometimes, the answer is just because. Right place, right time. Luck. Coincidence. Fate. Whatever you want to call it. You want to live life?”

I nodded, frozen in his grasp. I wanted it more than anything in the entire world.

“Then reach out, and take it.”

Overcome with a burst of passion, I leaned forward and fisted my hands into his T-shirt. I tugged him close and kissed him hard, sucking on his bottom lip. It only took a second before his mouth opened and his tongue twined with mine, and for a blissful moment, I felt everything clicking into place. But…there was always a but.

Liam’s hands nudged against my shoulders, and he broke away. My gaze met his, and I didn’t like what I saw. My heart sank like a rock as the realization of what I’d just done hit me. He didn’t want me. He’d never wanted me.

“Ali…” he murmured.

I was the biggest idiot of the century. I’d just lost my job, I was borderline broke, I was on the brink of becoming homeless, and I’d just been rejected by a man who was way out of my league. My day could not get any worse.

Pushing off the stool, I stood, my throat burning with unshed tears. Embarrassment heated my cheeks as I turned and fled, the old Alison taking control of my body.

All this time, I’d been blaming my pathetic excuse of a life on other people, but had I been the problem all along? The one common denominator in all my failed relationships—romantic, personal, and professional—had always been me. What was wrong with me?

Finally, I found myself outside, the cool air taking some of the heat out of my skin. Staring up at the sky, I took a deep breath. Crying would get me nowhere.

Whatever I’d been looking for, I wouldn’t find it here. It was as simple as that.