Danny had kicked the box at the bottom of the stairs in the barn and hit concrete, and the leather of his boots hadn’t quite protected him from that sharp jab. He swore and took a second, listening to the nickering of horses in the early morning light. He should have grabbed a coffee to go instead of just downing the cereal, but then he’d tossed and turned most of the night after giving up studying, having read the same chapter three times without figuring out what it said.

“You running late this morning?” His dad came out of one of the stalls and latched the gate, looking at him.

“Yes—no, I have a spare first class, but I wanted to get in early and try to get some studying in.” He still needed to talk to Charlie, since he’d left after dinner three nights ago without that talk. She’d slid her body against him, her arms around his neck, and kissed him long and deep. It was nice, and he should have wanted it to go further, but at the same time it wasn’t her he realized he was seeing himself with.

“Can’t say I’ve ever seen you this rattled,” His dad said, resting his forearms on the stall gate and glancing to the mare, who hung her head over as he rubbed her neck. “This is something only a girl can do. You figure anything out?”

“Yeah, I don’t know. Why do I have to decide on anyone? You know, it’s like, I’m at dinner, and I’m feeling myself being dragged down the aisle to make a commitment to a girl when I’ve been out, what, two, three times? She’s great and fun and…”

His dad glanced his way but said nothing.

“I spoke to Evie,” Danny said. He let out a sigh and felt as if he’d cracked open his chest and yanked out his heart from the hurt he’d seen in her face, then the way she’d walked away. “I think I made it worse.”

His dad kicked at something on the barn floor. “You tell her how you feel?” He patted the horse again and faced Danny, his one arm leaning on the stall. He gave him all his attention.

“I tried, you know. I told her I needed some time just to figure out some things, and there’s Charlie. I told her as well I need to figure things out, and you should have seen Evie’s face. The moment I said it, I wanted to take it back, but at the same time, I couldn’t lie to her, because that wouldn’t be fair.”

His dad glanced to the ground and then back up to him, squinting as if the sun were in his eyes. “You tell a woman you’re thinking of another, what kind of reaction do you think you’re going to get?”

“So, what, are you saying I should have lied to her? I don’t know what I want.”

His dad was shaking his head. “Well, therein lies the problem, because if you don’t know what you want, who you want, you can’t expect her to hang around and wait until you figure it out. You’re old enough, Danny, to know, especially when you have feelings like this for a woman, if you’ve got a future with her or you don’t. If you’re really struggling to think of who it is you want beside you in your future, then maybe it’s neither, but toying with both and letting them both think they have a chance with you…” His dad paused, and instead of feeling better, Danny felt like absolute crap.

“Well, that’s the thing, Dad. Evie told me pretty much to get lost. She wasn’t waiting around and took herself out of the equation, which I deserved. I haven’t been able to get her out of my head.”

His dad said nothing as he stared at him. From that look, the intensity, he knew his dad wouldn’t give him the answer or tell him what he needed to do. He wasn’t going to help him out, and instead he took a step over to him and rested his hand on his shoulder. “Well, that’s a shame,” his dad said. “You should know that your mom stopped by to see Evie the other day and offer her a job.”

Danny was hit with a wave of joy for a moment, a chance of something. Just the thought of seeing her and having her working around him all the time, being there when he drove in… Then his dad’s expression changed.

“She called your mom yesterday and turned her down,” he said.

His heart sank.

His dad squeezed his shoulder and then walked out of the barn, calling back over his shoulder, “You’d better get going or you’ll be late.”

The entire drive to school, Danny fought the burning ache. It was huge, this loss that seemed to rip apart his insides. For the first time in his life, he didn’t have a clue what to do. The fact was that he was starting to realize that Evie likely hated him in a way he couldn’t blame her for, and the thought of not having her in his life didn’t fill him with just sadness; it was a loss so deep he wondered whether he’d ever get past it. Then there was Charlie. She wasn’t quite the airhead he’d thought she was, and he liked her, but that was it. Not seeing her again didn’t fill him with that same heartache. He thought of her dazzling some big city, setting Chicago on fire, but he didn’t see himself with her.

He pulled into the parking lot and climbed out of his Bronco, then locked the door and slung his leather backpack over his shoulder.

“Danny…” It was Charlie in her sports car, shades on, the top down. “Just wait up,” she said, then pulled in and parked two spots down.

Danny walked over to her car as she put up the top and then stepped out, locking the door. She pressed her hand to his chest and went to kiss him when he gripped her wrist gently and stepped back. “I’m sorry,” he said and took in the moment she understood what he was saying. He shook his head and smiled at her.

“Danny, really?”

He touched her cheek and chin, seeing the perfection, the flawless skin, the beauty that any guy would love to have hanging off his arm. “You’re beautiful, gorgeous, and are likely going to do all kinds of great things, but…”

“Not with you,” she finished for him. She was about to convince him, or try to, so he shook his head.

“Charlie, I belong here. This is the life I want, and when I dream of my future and happiness, I don’t see it all, but what I do see is being here, and Evie is a part of that. I’m sorry,” he said. He wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d yelled at him or maybe slapped his face, but instead she just shrugged and made a face as she stepped away.

“Well, then I guess you’ve made your choice and saved me from giving up a piece of myself and what I wanted. You know I would have thrown Chicago away for you.”

He took in Charlie, seeing who she was and knowing that this life here, his life and what he wanted, was exactly the kind of life she didn’t.

“You would have been miserable,” he said.

She stepped back and nodded, then turned and started walking toward the campus. Now he just needed to talk to Evie, get her to listen to him, to give him a chance.

If he had to, he’d even grovel.