“Are you planning on ever speaking to me again?” I ask.

Bailey’s in the bathroom in her pajamas, her makeup washed off her face, her toothbrush in her hand.

It’s the question I’ve been thinking all night. I have to give her credit. After Lindy’s low blow, Bailey went through the motions of meeting everyone at the party. No one else mentioned her past or looked at her as if they might know, but I could tell it hung over her head with every person she greeted.

I was planning to stay most of the party, but I made excuses to get us out of there as fast as I could. Bailey didn’t say a word the whole ride home, and now she’s acting as if she’s going to get into bed without acknowledging my existence.

I lean against the doorjamb and watch as she brushes her teeth. When she’s done, she rinses out her mouth, wipes down the sink, and breezes right past me into the bedroom.

I feel helpless. I can’t undo the embarrassment that Lindy caused. And I feel like a dick for even putting Bailey in that position to begin with. “If you’re angry, I wish you’d at least say so.”

“I’m angry.” She doesn’t look at me. She pulls back the covers, climbs into bed, clicks on the bedside lamp, and grabs her book. She grips it so tightly her knuckles go white.

I sit beside her on the edge of the bed. “Talk to me.”

She closes her eyes. “I’m fine,” she says, but her voice shakes, and I feel like the world’s biggest asshole for asking her to do this, for taking her to the party, for putting her in this situation. “I just need a good night’s sleep. When I wake in the morning, I’ll have some perspective. This is temporary.” She swallows. “It’s not like I have to face those women for the rest of my life. Come January, I’m out of here, right? So, it shouldn’t matter.”

If things go my way, that’s not how this will end, but she doesn’t need to know that yet, and even if she did, this wouldn’t be the smartest time to bring it up. “Don’t minimize what happened.” I touch her bare shoulder, and she flinches. “Holy shit, Bailey, just let it out.”

“Fine.” She tosses her book down, jumps out of bed, and folds her arms across her chest. “I’m angry and I’m hurt. You made me bleed and then threw me in the shark tank.” She shakes her head. “I cannot believe you told her what I used to do. And you said you two slept together, not that you had a long-term relationship. I would have liked a little heads-up about that.”

This is such a fucking shitstorm, and now Bailey’s stuck in the middle of it. I should have seen it coming. If Lindy was ballsy enough to show up naked in my bed when she knew I was married, why wouldn’t she do something to embarrass Bailey? I thought seeing my wife in person would make Lindy back off, but I underestimated her. “She was a high school girlfriend; that’s why my parents are so obsessed with us getting back together.”

“How did your high school girlfriend know I was a stripper?”

I meet her unsteady gaze. There are so many emotions swimming in her eyes, from anger to hurt to fear, and I hate that I’m partially responsible for them. “My parents told her years ago. They looked you up when we were dating, and they tell Lindy everything about my life. At the time, they were using the information in an attempt to convince her to break up with the loser she was dating and try to mend fences with me. I never would have imagined she’d bring it up tonight.”

“Do you have any idea how that made me feel? I’m already so self-conscious with those people, and then to have her throw that out there like it was normal conversation.” She presses her hand against her chest and squeezes her eyes shut. “I could handle people treating me like a whore at the Pretty Kitty, but there? In that dress?”

“You looked amazing. You were the most beautiful woman in the room.”

Her eyes blaze. Okay, obviously not the time to talk about her appearance. “I looked like I was trying to be someone I’m not.”

“Lindy is awful, and I’m sorry that she directed that nastiness at you, but don’t let yourself think that everyone else there is like her.” I stand and loosen my tie. “I’m sorry I put you in that position at all.”

She bites her bottom lip, and her chin quivers. I step forward and skim my thumb over her mouth. “I hate seeing you this upset.” I shake my head. “You’re the strongest person I know. You do whatever you have to do to get by when the rest of us wouldn’t have the courage. It’s almost intimidating. Then sometimes I catch sight of these tender spots that make you so damn vulnerable that I . . .”

She finally lifts her eyes to meet mine. “That you what?”

That I know why you need me. That I know why I’ve never been able to make myself walk away. Suddenly, I’m fucking exhausted. My body is tired from training, and my mind is tired from this dance we’ve been doing since she moved in. My heart is tired of waiting. “I wish I’d met you before him. I wish you’d never had to become so tough.”

“How is this about Nic?” Her voice cracks on his name.

“Isn’t it? At the end of the day, he’s always what’s standing between us.”

“How long are you visiting, Aunt Bailey?” Faith asks as she climbs into my lap.

“Faithy,” Sarah says. “Come on, you’re too big to be held.”

I wrap my arms around Faith and squeeze. “Never!”

Faith giggles. “How long? How long?”

Sarah narrows her eyes, warning me without words to be careful what I promise.

“I don’t know yet. But I’ll be here for your birthday. Are you having a party?”

“Of course!” She squirms off my lap. Even though she loves to cuddle, she has too much energy in her to allow her to stay still for long. I reluctantly let her go. “We’re going to Applebee’s, and Brandon’s going to come. Are you going to come too?”

“Faith, Aunt Bailey is busy. I doubt she can come, but she’s here now.”

I lock eyes with Sarah, and I know she sees my request there. Please let me come. I promise I won’t screw this up. My sister gives a small, almost imperceptible shake of her head. I swallow hard. This is my penance for my choices, and I try to be patient, but sometimes I just want to scream at Sarah for being so unreasonable and self-righteous. Instead, I take a deep breath and think of Faith. “How about I bring your present by before I leave town?” I ask her.

“Presents!” she cheers, and tops it off with a cartwheel in the middle of the living room floor. “I hope it’s a Barbie house!”

“Who’s Brandon?” I ask.

“Mommy’s special friend. He’s really nice, and he works at the zoo with the dolphins. Isn’t that the coolest?” I wait for more, but she holds her arms up in the air and says, “Watch me do a handstand!” She plants her hands on the floor and kicks upside down, and I know she’s moved on.

“A new friend?” I ask my sister.

She wraps her arms around herself and shrugs, as if this isn’t a monumental step for her. “He’s nice.”

Five years ago, on a stormy April afternoon, her husband told her he was “deeply unhappy,” packed his things, and left his wife and their daughter for a new life across the country. Since then, Sarah hasn’t been interested in dating, only in raising Faith and trying to keep their life together. She was a stay-at-home mom when Greg left, and she almost lost everything. She almost had to move back to Blackhawk Valley to the life she’d worked so hard to escape.

I nod. “I’d love to meet him someday.”

“Sure. Maybe.” She draws in a deep breath. “Are you going to the Gators game tomorrow?”

I shake my head. “They’re in Kansas City tomorrow, so I’ll miss it.” It’s been a week since Lindy’s party and almost two since I moved in with Mason. As if things weren’t tense enough between me and Mason before, the whole thing with Lindy made me feel even more insecure about our arrangement. He’s gone all day, sometimes for more than twelve hours. Though we eat dinner together most nights, he’s still sleeping in the guest room, and I catch myself wishing for more than I can have. Sarah doesn’t need to know any of that, though. “I might travel for some of the regular season games, but I have a few clients who wanted to meet this weekend, so I thought it would be better if I passed on this one.”

“How’s the new life in your fancy house?”

“It’s okay.” I shrug and bite down on my bottom lip. There’s jealousy on her face that I understand all too well. It’s hard when the people around you seem to have all they need and you’re struggling to get by. “I’m trying to get settled. Mason’s told his teammates about me, and their wives’ sessions are helping me to keep busy, but everything is different here.”

“It’s a good different,” Sarah says, her eyes on Faith. “Back in Blackhawk Valley, girls like us will never be anyone but Tammy Green’s daughters. Here, you can start fresh.” She turns her gaze on me and gives me an encouraging smile. “I’ll admit I was nervous about it, but I’m glad you moved here. Now you get a clean slate. You can start over like Mom never could.”

Four years ago . . .

“To living on the right side of the law,” Mia says, raising her glass of water and giving her brother a pointed look.

Everyone else raises their glasses, too. There are big smiles all around the table, except for Nic, whose smile is forced and whose gaze keeps darting to meet mine.

After the waitress clears our dinner plates, I excuse myself and go to the restroom. I heard the text come through from Mason right after our meals were served, but I didn’t want to look at it in front of Nic. Now, I dig through my purse to pull out my phone.

Mason: Saw you walking down Fifth in your red dress, and now I can’t focus on my homework. Come by tonight so I can get a closer look?

I grip the sink and bow my head. I don’t know what’s worse—that I gave up Mason to save Nic, a man who doesn’t want me, or that even though I know it was the right thing to do, I wish I hadn’t had to do it.

I hold my hands under hot water and scrub them, but it doesn’t help me feel any better. I want to leave here and go to Mason, but I don’t want it to be just sex. I want to curl into his arms and tell him how relieved I am that Nic’s out of prison, and how terrified I am that he’s going to fuck up this second chance. I want to let him undress me and touch me, but I don’t want to head to my own bed to sleep. I want to make love and let him hold me all night long. And I want to do all that without feeling like shit for loving them both.

“Always want what we can’t have,” I whisper to my reflection.

When I step out of the bathroom, someone grabs me from behind and pushes me into the wall. He’s against my back, trapping me. I turn my head to the side to see who it is, but it isn’t until his hands press against the wall on either side of my head that I know it’s Nic. He takes one hand and drops it to my hip and places the other on my shoulder. “What’d you do?”

I planned on talking to Nic after dinner tonight, before he could talk to Clarence. Word travels fast. “I told you I’d take care of it.”

“Where did you get the money, Bail? Where did you get that kind of money?”

“All that matters is the debt is paid.”

He scoffs. “As if these guys are going to leave you alone now.”

“Why wouldn’t they?”

I feel his body tense behind me. “Now that you’ve given in to them, they’ll find a way to get more. From me, from you—they don’t care.” He draws in a long, ragged breath, sweeps my hair to the side, and skims his mouth along the back of my neck.

Chills of anticipation rush through me. I’ve missed his touch for so long, and my body responds instinctively, but at the same time, guilt at the pleasure pierces my belly. What would Mason think about Nic kissing my neck? I shouldn’t care. It doesn’t matter. Mason and I can never have anything together. Not now. I shiver, and Nic groans.

“God, I’ve missed the way you smell, but now I’m going to be thinking about Clarence every time I’m close to you. I told you not to do it. It’s tearing me up inside that you did it anyway.”

The warmth in my belly goes cold. “I didn’t.”

“Don’t lie to me.” His fingers curl as he tightens his hold on me. I squeeze my eyes shut but tears leak out the corners. He loosens his hold. “Shit. I’m sorry.” He dips his head to kiss where his fingers were digging into my arm, and I let him, but his hand isn’t what hurt me. It’s what he believes that hurts.

Tears sting my eyes as he slides his hand over the front of my dress. This is Nic. I’ve waited years to feel his hands on me again, but any thrill from his touch is overshadowed by the feeling that I’m betraying another man. “Clarence got a taste of you, and he’s gonna want more. I can’t even blame him. Look what I’ve done to you, and I want more.”

“What did Clarence tell you?” I try to turn, but Nic’s too close. He has me pinned against the wall so I can’t see his face. Did Clarence tell Nic I fucked him? That I spread my legs to pay Nic’s debt?

Nic’s hand sweeps between my breasts before settling against my belly.

I wish I could see him. I can’t see the expression on his face or the look in his eyes. All I have is the feel of his hard body pressed against mine.

I swallow. My stomach quivers like Jell-O. This is so like Nic—to hold me away from him while he drops bombs on my reality. He doesn’t want me to see his face. He doesn’t want to look in my eyes while he breaks my heart.

I hear his ragged inhale, his hard swallow. “Why’d you do something like that for an idiot like me?” He makes a fist and gently scrapes his knuckles over my navel. “You’ve already lost so much because of me. I told you I’d take care of this.”

My heart aches. He said he’d take care of me, too. I was sixteen. He said he’d take care of me, and the next thing I knew, he was going to prison, and I was pregnant and alone.