Chapter Five
Everly would have preferred a root canal sans lidocaine to what she was about to endure. And considering just the thought of teeth made her freak out, that was saying something.
Her in-laws were visiting today.
Oh, joy.
The boys were playing in the living room, and she prayed they weren’t finding a way to stain their clothes. Her in-laws had specifically sent over these outfits since they’d told Everly that her clothing choices weren’t always the best. And while Everly wanted to smack her mother-in-law, she’d put the twins in their suede jumpers and took away all liquids and food items just in case it dared to touch their clothing.
Why Jackson’s parents had given the twins suede outfits, Everly didn’t know, but if seeing the boys in the ugly things helped get the Laws out of the house quicker, she’d deal with it.
She ran a hand over the sundress that covered her shoulders and chest far more modestly than anything she would normally wear and tried to keep calm—and sane. While her in-laws hadn’t sent over an outfit for Everly to wear, she wasn’t in the mood to deal with the judging looks if she dared to show too much skin or wore something other than a dress that was ladylike. She made her way out to the living room, happy the boys were still playing with their soft book, mumbling to each other as they ‘read’ through the pages.
It wasn’t as if Jackson’s parents were bad people. They just tended to like things certain ways. Their way. All the time. No matter how ridiculous it was.
“Okay, boys,” she said with false cheer. Thankfully, they were too young to notice. Hopefully. “Are you ready for Grandma and Grandpa to come visit?”
James rubbed his ear again as he nodded, and she felt that familiar pang in her chest at seeing her baby hurt. The surgery wasn’t for three more days, but her mind kept alternately thinking that time either passed too slowly or far too fast depending on what she was feeling that day. Everything was on schedule, but she knew things could change in an instant.
“I wanna go to the book shop,” Nathan pouted. “I want you.”
She held back tears, her emotions all over the place lately. Since it was the middle of summer, her boys didn’t have nursery school like they had in the spring. She had a babysitter throughout the week, and the boys also had little camps they attended but were only for a few hours at a time, and Everly usually went with them for social times. Sometimes, she took the boys into the shop since she had a children’s area and reading hour, but today wasn’t one of those days. Her in-laws took the children some days as well, but today, they’d wanted to stay with the children at her place rather than take them to theirs. They’d said it was because of Nathan’s recent asthma attack and James’s upcoming surgery and that being in a familiar setting would be comforting, but she didn’t quite believe them. The Laws’ home was familiar to the boys since they stayed there often enough, so she figured Nancy, her mother-in-law, just wanted to peep around her house—and not for the first time.
Everly’s home was never clean enough. Never orderly enough. Apparently, she had horrid taste, but that was to be expected with Everly’s upbringing. She held back a groan at that thought. If her mother were alive, she’d probably have beaten Nancy with the large bag she’d always carried with her.
It was days like this that Everly missed her parents more than ever. But she didn’t have time to dwell on what she’d lost and had to focus on making sure her house was in some sort of order before she left her babies with her in-laws and headed to work.
That root canal was sounding better and better.
The doorbell rang at that instant, and she bent to kiss the tops of her boys’ heads before going to let Nancy and Peter in. As always, as soon as she opened the door, Nancy pushed her way inside without bothering to say hello or wait for an invitation. While Nancy might have called that rude if anyone else did it, the other woman often lamented that if she’d been given a key to her son’s home, it wouldn’t be a problem.
One of the many reasons the elder Laws did not have a key—nor would they have one anytime soon.
“Peter,” Everly said after a moment and moved to the side fully so her father-in-law could enter her home.
“Everly.” He didn’t speak as much as Nancy did, but Everly knew that wasn’t because he didn’t judge her. He judged just as much as his wife was prone to. He just showed his thoughts on his face, rather than voicing them.
“I see you’ve put them in their jumpers,” Nancy said as she studied her grandchildren. “Probably just put them on right before we came over, hmm? That’s why they’re so clean. Not a spot on them.”
And if they’d had a stain, because God forbid her kids act like children and get messy, Nancy would have had something to say then, too. But these were Jackson’s parents, the boys’ only living grandparents, so Everly held her tongue. Again.
“They look adorable in your choices as always, Nancy,” Everly said with a smile. She looked down at her watch and held back a frown. “I’m going to be late if I don’t head out now to the shop. Thank you so much for agreeing to watch the boys today. I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time.” Nancy had actually insisted on being with the children today rather than it being Everly’s idea, but Everly didn’t mention that. Nathan and James needed family, so Everly would do what she could to make sure that happened.
Even if it hurt.
“Hmm.” Nancy pursed her lips. “Late? If you’d told us the correct time to come over, maybe you wouldn’t always be running late. Jackson was never late, you know. He prided himself on always being on time.” She looked down at her grandsons but didn’t smile like a doting grandmother should. They also hadn’t told Everly what time they would be coming over and hadn’t given her an option, but that was neither here nor there. “My son was always on time, early if he could make it work. That’s why he achieved so much in his short life.” She took out a handkerchief and dabbed her eyes.
As much as Jackson’s parents grated on her nerves, they clearly loved their son and made sure her boys knew as much about their father as possible. Sometimes too much, in her opinion. Jackson didn’t have a single flaw according to her in-laws, and they said as much often to Nathan and James. While Everly would never disparage Jackson to their children, she also didn’t put him on the golden pedestal his mother clearly did. He had been human, after all.
“Thank you again for coming over. I shouldn’t be out too late.” She hoped. Quarterly taxes were looming, and that always gave her a headache. Her accountant did the brunt of the work, but she still had to prep everything.
“Working in a bookstore,” Nancy tsked as she sat down on the ottoman nearest the boys. “I’m still surprised Jackson allowed that.” She looked down at her grandsons and spoke to them. “Your father was a well-respected professor and the best in his field. He did wonders for his department and won every grant he tried out for.”
The boys blinked up at her, clearly confused. They were only three, after all.
Everly didn’t point this out. Nor did she mention the fact that Jackson had not won every grant, nor was he the best in his field. He was at the top for sure, but he’d had a rivalry with someone in his department, which he’d said always made him work harder. She’d listened to countless diatribes on it and could probably still quote them word for word.
“I own the bookstore,” Everly said and wished she hadn’t. There was no use defending herself to Nancy, and there never had been. Everly may have her master’s degree and own a business, but she’d never be good enough for the golden boy Jackson Law in her mother-in-law’s eyes. She’d lived with that fact for years and usually ignored it. Today, apparently, she couldn’t keep her mouth shut. “And books are the building blocks for everything in life. So I get to be part of a little bit of everything.”
“Hmm.” Nancy narrowed her eyes before putting her attention back on the boys. They handed her their book, and she looked it over before beginning to read to them. She was usually a wonderful grandmother, and Everly clung to that fact. Peter had sat down on her couch and pulled out his tablet, reading something like usual. Everly would usually be on board with that, but the man more often than not looked down on her reading choices since she tended to prefer fiction to what he read. After all, she lived a non-fiction life that didn’t have a happily ever after. She wanted to escape into a world where she could find that peace.
And that was enough of that.
She said her goodbyes and headed into the bookstore to take the afternoon and evening shifts. Freddie had classes that day, and her other part-time worker had called in sick—something unusual for him—so she would be on her own for the day. While it wouldn’t be easy, she could handle it. It wasn’t as if she had a choice.
Her hands trailed over her books as she walked the shelves, putting things that had been moved as customers browsed in their correct places. She dusted as she went, answering questions and leading others to the section they were on the lookout for. As she went from genre to genre, she made a mental note of areas where she could improve, or decorations that might need to be changed. She liked keeping things fresh throughout the months so people were never bored when they walked into her shop. Though how anyone could be bored in a bookstore, she didn’t know. There were entire worlds in each of her books, volumes filled to the brim with characters people could fall in love with or loathe with every fiber of their being. They could be a warrior for the day, or a maiden in a distant land. There were self-help books and non-fiction historicals waiting for someone to open their pages. Her children’s section had endless stories and bright colors that could bring a smile to even the poutiest of babies.
Everly held back a happy sigh as she filled a bag with books for a customer at the cash register. She was always a little jealous that people got to walk out with new books, knowing that new adventures were on the way. It was a silly thing to feel, but in some instances, she was the dreamer Jackson never fully understood. She might be competent—or maybe more than proficient at owning a business and the critical thinking that came with the responsibilities—but in her heart, she was a book lover. A reader. A dreamer.
The sun began to set as she nibbled on the sandwich she’d brought in from home. She could have gone to Taboo and picked up something far more appetizing than a creamy peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich, but she’d known she wouldn’t have time today. It didn’t really help that she was a crunchy peanut butter and strawberry jam fan, but since her boys liked what they liked, she saved money and went with their tastes for this particular item.
Maybe if Jackson were alive, she could have gone with something different—he’d been a crunchy peanut butter fan, as well—but she couldn’t justify having two jars in her pantry when she was on a budget.
And how sad was that thought. If only she had a husband who had lived so she could have the sandwich spread she desired?
Everly set her meager meal down and grimaced. She missed Jackson for more than just his tastes in peanut butter. She missed him with every fiber of her being as evidenced by the ache in her heart, even if the pain wasn’t as agonizing as it once had been. Time had healed that. Time and necessity. She couldn’t raise her children and work as hard as she did if she wallowed for too long. She’d come to terms long ago with the fact that her husband was never coming back and he’d never meet his children. She might not have moved on in the sense that she’d been on a date in the past three years, but she’d at least stopped crying herself to sleep a while ago.
She frowned, rolled up her garbage, and disposed of it in the bin under her desk. She needed to remember to clear that before she closed up shop for the night. Had she seriously not been on a date at all since Jackson?
Of course, the answer was no. She hadn’t wanted anything to do with another man when she’d been home alone, breastfeeding the twins and trying not to cry. Storm had been a tremendous help at the time, making sure she had groceries and watching the babies so she could shower the three-day-old dried milk out of her hair. And by the time she’d found her rhythm at being a mom and had healed just a little bit more every day from the loss of her husband, she hadn’t had time to look for a man. Hell, she barely had time to put on makeup in the morning now.
Maybe she should start thinking of dating again. Hell, it had been over ten years since she’d been on a first date, and she wasn’t even sure she could remember how to do it. Her heart didn’t hurt as much as it had before when she thought about meeting someone else, though, so maybe that was a sign.
She let out a breath, not sure what to do, but she couldn’t focus on that right now. Or the fact that the first image that came to mind when she thought of a man to date was the one man she shouldn’t.
Nope. Not going to think of that man or his muscled body beneath those soft flannel shirts of his.
She closed her book and went to the back to pick up the mail the postwoman had dropped off earlier when Everly had been in the middle of a rush. She looked through the stack of bills, flyers, and notes from publishers as she made her way back to the front in case a customer came in. Though she doubted it since it was getting late and a storm was coming in. She only had another hour or so until she closed up shop anyway, and she figured she’d be bringing paperwork home with her so she wouldn’t have to deal with her in-laws’ patronizing looks.
As she set most of the mail on the desk, she looked down at one envelope in her hand and froze.
It was addressed to Jackson.
She swallowed hard, noticing that while there was postage on the envelope and a Fort Collins stamp, there wasn’t a return address. He’d never gotten mail here. Even the stereotypical patriarchy-filled letters that were sent generically were usually addressed to Mr. Everly Law. As if she couldn’t be a female business owner.
She hesitantly opened the letter and froze once again.
I’m still waiting.
What on earth could that mean?
Who was waiting? And for what? She looked on the back, but it was blank. That made no sense, and honestly, it creeped her out probably more than it should have. She set the letter on top of the others and looked through the windows at the darkening clouds. The storm was coming in earlier than expected, which wasn’t that uncommon for Denver so she decided to close up shop a bit early and take care of the cash on hand and everything else.
She was just finishing up putting her deposit in her cash bag for the safe in the back room when she noticed a particular scent in the air.
Smoke.
She looked to her left in horror as smoke billowed out from the back room, flames dancing along the window frames and below the shelves. Her hands shook as she grabbed the cash bag, her purse, and whatever she could from the top of the desk and tried to decide if she could take care of this with her fire extinguisher.
The flames moved far faster than she thought possible, taking out books and curtains, engulfing sections in a single breath. Her whole world was on those shelves. Her memories. Her past. Her present. Her future. And yet the flames didn’t discriminate. It burned them all.
She coughed, the smoke burning her lungs, and knew that whatever had started the fire might have happened quickly, but her store was a box of tinder, waiting to burn. If she called the fire department now, there still might be a chance. This was far, far too much for her.
Her eyes watering and her throat burning, she ran out of the front and tried to press the keypad on her phone, tears stinging her eyes along with the ash.
“Everly!”
She looked up, her hands shaking so hard she dropped her phone. “It’s on fire,” she gasped. “My store. I…how is it on fire?”
Storm hurried to her, his face pale, and ran his hands over her face and down her arms. “Are you hurt? Talk to me, Ev.”
“I…I…I need to call the fire department.”
“Austin is already on that.” He bent to pick up her phone and stuffed it into his pocket. “I was at Montgomery Ink hanging out when we saw the smoke. I don’t hear your fire alarms, Ev. Why aren’t they going off?”
She frowned, not turning to look at her store. She couldn’t. Not yet. “I don’t know. We just had an inspection last week. Everything should be fine.” She repeated the latter twice more, knowing it was all a lie.
Storm took her bag from her hand and stuffed her mail, cash bag, and whatever else she’d grabbed from inside before putting the purse over his shoulder. He should have looked ridiculous, yet all she could do was try not to cry.
Sirens sounded in the distance, echoing off the tall buildings of downtown Denver. She knew they were for her, and that just made it more real. Storm gripped her chin and, somehow, she found the strength to pull away and turn.
Flames poured out of her windows, her door. Smoke billowed, and people shouted as they tried to protect their own businesses and vehicles. The storm that had been coming in wouldn’t make it in time. Any rain it would bring would be far too late to douse the flames and save anything of hers.
She’d lost it all.
Storm wrapped his arms around her, and she leaned into him, her head resting on his chest as she watched her hopes and dreams literally burst into flames.
Once again, she was witnessing her life altering forever on its course. And once again, she was with Storm.
She wasn’t alone.
But she wasn’t whole.