“Don’t flatter yourself Cole,” I told him, adopting the aloof, superior tone of voice I used to deter the drunk creeps who hit on me at the bar. This tone was something I’d picked up in high school, mostly by kids who used it on me. It was a lie, of course, inside I was quivering like I was eighteen again. Cole had that unique effect on me. One look at him and I was heartbroken all over again. Our last interaction during my freshman year of college had really done a number on my self-esteem. I wasn’t going to let him see how much it still stung.

“That hurts,” he replied, touching his chest and looking me over from head to toe appreciatively. I looked him over right back and rolled my eyes for good measure. What did he know about hurt?

“What do you want?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at him and wishing I could run away. I didn’t really care what he wanted, since I knew it wasn’t me. He’d made that perfectly clear.

“Am I not allowed to say hello to my best friend’s little sister?” His voice was dripping with feigned shock.

“Hello. And goodbye.” I said sarcastically. I even added a saucy little wave.

“Well I’m happy to see you,” he said, his expression softening. The moment stretched between us, heavy and full of unspoken things.

An invisible force pulled me forward across the dark hallway toward Cole. One step, then two. He met me in the middle. He was close enough to touch now, and he lifted a hand as if to touch my face.

I was about to say something I would regret when another one of my brother’s friends, Lucas, popped his head around the corner. All the air went out of the room.

“Look what the cat dragged in! Hey man, we weren’t sure you were gonna’ make it,” Lucas cried to Cole, giving me an out. I slunk past them and back into the party.

My heart was pounding out a heavy metal rhythm in my chest. This wasn’t how this night was supposed to go. This engagement party was supposed to be a nice night. I was going to dance, drink, be merry, and toast Emma and Ward. He wasn’t supposed to be here.

Rationally, I knew that I shouldn’t care what Cole Rylander thought of me anymore. It had been years since we’d seen each other or spoken. Life had pulled us in very different directions. He’d gone on to have a tremendously successful NFL career. I worked for my brother in a bar. But I still felt helpless and speechless when he was around. It wasn’t fair.

The one saving grace of managing this place was that no one could stop me from rounding the bar and pouring myself a double. I went straight for the good stuff and poured like it weighed more than it cost.

“Are you ok?” Emma asked me when she found me a few minutes later. “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you.”

I shrugged, smiled and faked an unconcerned expression.

“Are you ok?” she repeated, looking at my now-empty double glass.

I grinned at her. “I’m completely fine.” My voice, honed by years of merciless teasing and playing it off like nothing, sounded convincing—to me, at least.

Emma looked unconvinced. After years of friendship, she knew me too well.

“He’s moving here, you know,” she said after a second, perching her tiny body next to mine on a bar stool. My wide eyes told her that I hadn’t known that fact. “Did you know he was retired?” she asked.

I nodded. “Concussions.”

Despite his phenomenal success, Cole had decided not to risk additional head injuries in the NFL. I couldn’t say that I blamed him. Four concussions in two years wasn’t safe at all. That was something I was grateful for with my brother; Ward hadn’t been permanently disabled during his career playing pro, despite his best efforts to wreck his entire body.

“When is he moving here?” I asked, hoping my voice didn’t betray anything that was going on beneath.

Emma shrugged. “I think this week. You’d need to ask Ward.”

That would happen ten minutes after never. If there was one thing I could say with confidence, it was that Ward had no idea how bad I used to have it for his friend. He was oblivious even at the best of times. I could have probably hired a skywriter to announce my crush on Cole and Ward still wouldn’t have noticed. Ward was a great guy in many ways but being emotionally sensitive and perceptive wasn’t one of them.

“Did my brother tell you anything about why he’s moving here?” I asked, looking down at my hands as if suddenly very interested in my acid green manicure.

When she responded, Emma’s voice was dry. “I honestly have no idea.”

Emma had lived with me the year after my great rejection freshman year. She probably knew perfectly well that I was brimming with questions, but she couldn’t help. She hugged me before returning to the party, whispering “just go talk to him” in my ear before traipsing off.

She made it sound so damn easy. Just go talk to him. There was no one else at this party, including all the people I didn’t know, that I would have a problem going up and talking to. I could strike up a conversation with a brick wall, but not Cole. Even now, I could feel his eyes on me from across the room. Every time I glanced in his direction, he was staring right at me.

“Hi Kate, would you like to dance?” The question came from my left. I swung around to see a friend of Ward’s had sidled up next to me.

The guy was about my age. He was of average height, with an average build, and average looks. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and khakis, which were dreadful, but totally in line with his inoffensive looks. I grasped for the guy’s name while I considered his offer. Vincent? Victor? Something like that. I’d had a few casual conversations with the guy in the bar. He didn’t exactly make my heart flutter, but he was ok.

Would I like to dance with Victor-Vincent? Not really. But it was a better idea than just sitting around and sulking for the rest of the engagement party. Maybe he’d get my mind off Cole.

“Sure! I’d love to.” I said brightly, putting on my happy face and pretending like I’d been waiting for him all evening. His answering smile was enough to make his overbite more obvious, and I felt a bit guilty for leading him on.

But when I looked over my shoulder and saw that Cole’s expression had gone blanker-than-blank, all thoughts of guilt disappeared.

Just because you don’t want me doesn’t mean that no one else will, I thought at Cole as I moved against my dance partner with more eagerness than I really felt. After two songs, we took a break. The guy, whose name was Vince, went to go grab us some water. As soon as he was out of earshot, Cole was at my elbow.

“You can’t be serious about that guy,” he said by way of a greeting. I looked up at him and frowned.

“I’m sorry?” I asked.

“I know what you’re doing,” he replied.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Leading that poor guy on for my benefit is just cruel.” He shook his head in poor Vince’s general direction.

“Well, you would know.” Before I could censor myself, the words were out of my mouth and delivered with a lot more anger than I intended. I felt a hot blush cover my cheeks. Cole’s eyebrows climbed high up his forehead and his lips parted, but I turned on my heel before he could reply. I disappeared back into the crowd and away from Cole.

I managed to avoid him for almost a full hour afterwards. I’d almost put in as much face time as I thought was necessary to be polite when Ward waved me over to where he and Cole were sitting in a corner. My oblivious brother didn’t notice how uncomfortable I must have looked coming over to them, but Cole certainly did. His wide, amber eyes seemed like they were full of secrets.

“What’s up?” I asked my brother, pulling up a stool and affecting some semblance of a casual tone.

“I’ve just popped the question to Cole here,” Ward said. His voice was proud, and the double entendre flew right over his head.

“I’ve always thought you two made a lovely couple,” I replied. My sarcasm level was one hundred.

Ward was smiling his most mischievous smile. “Funny, I was about to say the same thing. Y’all will be walking down the aisle together and all.”

My face went blank before I realized what Ward was trying to tell me.

“Cole’s gonna be your best man?” I managed.

What did you think he was talking about, Kate? I cringed internally.

“Ok. Why are you telling me this?” I asked Ward, trying to ignore Cole. He was still staring at me. I didn’t know what that look meant, but it made me feel like I was sitting there stark naked.

“Because you two will have to work together,” Ward replied. “Emma wants a really small wedding party. It’s just you two doing all the usual stuff.”

Usual stuff? My brother was really in for a rude awakening when the real wedding planning got started. He was going to have to pay attention to things like flower selections and china patterns. I couldn’t wait to see Ward getting all domestic.

The fact that Cole and I were the entire wedding party was a surprise, but it shouldn’t have been. Emma was very much a small, intimate wedding type of girl. I was actually a bit surprised—but delighted—that I was going to be her Maid of Honor.

“Huh,” I said, because I eventually had to say something. He was right, of course. We would need to coordinate to make sure the bridal shower and bachelorette party didn’t conflict with the bachelor party, make sure the travel and accommodations for the guests went smoothly, work on the formal wear for the bridal party, etc., etc. I was already composing a list in my head. And all of this would involve talking to Cole and being close to him. My rebellious, masochistic imagination explored the possibilities…

“Kate? Earth to Kate?” Ward reached out and poked my shoulder.

“What?” I blinked at Cole and Ward, both of whom were now wearing confused expressions. I got the distinct impression my brother had been trying to get my attention for a while.

“What do you mean ‘what’? You totally zoned out!” He was looking at me like I was crazy.

I smirked apologetically. “I was just planning out the zoot suits you two are gonna’ wear.”

“I think we’re supposed to wear tuxedos to the wedding,” Ward said innocently. Of course, he had no idea what a zoot suit was. I rolled my eyes. Ward never understood my fashion jokes.

“So, can I have your number?” Cole asked, quickly following it up with a glance at Ward and a polite, “so we can coordinate wedding stuff?”

Considering that he asked in front of Ward, and had a perfectly reasonable reason for asking, I couldn’t very well refuse. I was trapped. I frowned and ponied up the digits. The seconds ticked by afterward, excruciating and slow.

My rescue came from Vince. Tonight, he was my knight in shining khaki. He appeared over my shoulder with the glass of water I’d requested over an hour ago. The poor man had clearly been looking for me all that time.

“There you are,” he said breathlessly.

I smiled at him sweetly and drew him by the elbow away from Ward and Cole’s table. “Hi Vince, thanks for the drink. Where’ve you been? I thought you lost interest.”

Vince blushed. “I thought you lost interest.” He looked at his feet, and then up at me in a puppy-dog-eyes-way that was probably meant to be endearing, but just struck me as weirdly submissive and sad.

I felt more than a little bit evil, but knowing that Cole was watching me flirt with Vince was an undeniable thrill. I knew jealousy when I saw it, even if it was probably just motivated by disappointment that I wasn’t throwing myself after him anymore. When Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’ started playing, I knew it was fate. Heading towards the dance floor, I took off the cozy sweater I’d been wearing to reveal my black crop top and pierced navel. Vince looked at me appreciatively, and a glance back at Cole showed he was still equally riveted. If was going to have to spend time around Cole, at least I could do it in style.