Chapter 12

He stood and closed the door, blocking out the little bit of light that came from the hallway. Now with the door and the blackout curtains closed, it was pitch dark. He knew how nervous she felt, so he was trying to put her at ease. But, they’d be doing this in daylight as soon as he could get her confidence up. He wasn’t a pervert—even though right now he sort of felt like one, commanding her to strip naked. But he just knew that once she felt comfortable in her skin, once she understood how damn sexy she was, she would feel confident. She’d be ready to date.

Gently he pulled her to her feet, turned her around, and gathered her hair in his hand and moved it to one side. His thumb brushed against her skin as he slowly unzipped the back of her dress. Then he placed his hands flat on her shoulder blades and eased the straps of the dress off her shoulders. She shivered. He didn’t think it was because of the temperature, because he was feeling the same way.

He stroked her naked back for a moment, then tenderly unhooked her bra and removed it. He turned her around to face him. It was too dark to see her reaction, but he hoped her eyes were feverish with lust. Hell, his were. He dropped to his knees in front of her and pulled the dress down past her hips, tapping one foot and then the other to indicate she should step out of her dress.

He ran his hands up and down the outside of her thighs. Her scent was so close to his face he had to close his eyes for a moment to fend off the need to bury his face on her…in her. The soft satin panties begged to be touched. He didn’t want to—he knew he shouldn’t—but his favorite feature called him: her ass. He wondered if she wore a thong and if her ass was on display. It wasn’t a surprise when he felt more satin as he cupped her ass. His naive, sexy Violet likely didn’t own a single thong. His thumbs snuck under the elastic and he squeezed, savoring her lush ass in his hands. She jerked a little at the sensation, but otherwise remained perfectly still and absolutely quiet as he gently pulled the panties down to her feet.

Before he stood, he ran his hands up and down her legs one last time. “Do you still feel self-conscious? Because, sunshine, you’ve always been an eleven to me. Hell, you deserve more than that. Don’t sell yourself short.” He brought his lips close to her ear and whispered, “But right now baby, in the dark, we can both be whatever number you want. I just want you to feel at ease.”

She didn’t say anything, but he could feel her trembling.

“I guess I figured out one way to shut you up,” he teased gently.

She chuckled nervously.

“Vi, you’re not just pretty, you’re stunning—inside and out. You’ve always been. I’m not saying that because we’re friends. I’m saying it because it is an absolute fact.”

“Thank you.”

God, he wished the lights weren’t off. He wanted so much to see her face.

She cleared her throat. “So, um…what now?”

He wanted so badly to touch her, it physically hurt. His face was still inches from her ear. He lightly ran his nose along her cheek and down her neck and across her collarbone. “That’s it for today,” he whispered breathlessly.

“That’s it?” she demanded.

“Yes.” He cupped the side of her neck and kissed her cheek. “Tomorrow I’ll find where you stashed the lamps and we’ll do this in the light.”

She laughed.

“C’mon, get dressed.”

Suddenly she reached out and grabbed his arm.

“What is it, Vi?”

“Oh, I’m nervous,” she said with a giggle. Then she said in a barely audible whisper, “Are you mad at me or something? I’m trying to be brave here, but you keep leaving right when we’re about to get to the real good stuff.”

He turned around and in one swoop pressed against her, his hands cupping her face. “No, sunshine. I am not mad at you.” He ran the pads of his thumbs along her jaw. “I’ve never in my life been mad at you. You’ve never been the problem. I’m the problem, not you. I feel all these things I have no right to feel when I’m around you. And when you’re naked—fuck, Vi, when you’re naked it takes everything in me not to devour you.” He took a deep, shaky breath.

She cleared her throat. “So, devour me.” She put her hands over his, which were still cupping her face, his thumbs caressing her cheeks. “I haven’t changed my mind, Cain. I want you more and more every day. I want you to make love to me.”

His body stiffened completely. It was still dark, she was naked, and his body was pressed against hers. It would take him just two steps to walk out the room and forget the words she had just spoken.

That’s what he should’ve done.

That’s what his brain was screaming at him to do.

Everything south of his head said otherwise.

“Cain. You do things to me, too. My body…it needs you. I need you.”

With that, his lips crashed against hers. She tightened her grip over his hands as her body arched backward. His hands weren’t touching anything other than her face, but her entire body felt alive. When she sucked on his tongue a groan escaped from deep in his chest. She released his hands, and they slid slowly and reverently down her neck, shoulders, and arms, as if he were a sculptor feeling every curve and dip of his medium. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed against him.

“Violet,” he said breathlessly.

“Hmm?” She sounded drunk on lust.

He began to nip and kiss her neck. “Violet, are you sure? Because in about two seconds I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop,” he said into her neck. “I know I promised you. I know we had an agreement, but I need to make sure. Once we have sex we can’t undo it. Sex complicates things. I thought we could do everything except this. That’s why I’ve kept dodging you. But I really don’t think I can stop myself anymore.”

“Never been surer about anything in my life,” she panted. “Stop overthinking it.”

He slid down to his knees and—finally!—touched her bare breasts. He held them in his hands, squeezing and kneading. “Jesus, they’re so perfect.” He latched onto a nipple and began to suck and tongue first one and then the other. “Fuck, I’d knew they’d be like this. So perfect and plump,” he said with a mouthful of her breast in his mouth.

Violet’s tits were the most perfect tits he’d ever seen, felt, kissed. Their weight in his hands made him want to squeeze them, play with them, nibble them. He wished the lights were on so that he could see what he knew would be perfectly pert pink nipples. She pushed against him and her head fell back in ecstasy. When he felt he had thoroughly pleased both breasts he gently pushed against her belly so she’d sit on the bed. He grabbed her thighs and spread her open.

“Cain?”

“Relax.” He started by kissing the inside of her thighs and behind her knees and moving up. He hooked his arms around her thighs, pulled her closer to the edge of the bed, threw her legs over his shoulders, and buried his face in her pussy before she had a chance to process what was about to happen.

“Oh my God, Cain…”

He looked up. “You want me to stop?”

“No! I swear I’ll kill you if you stop.”

He chuckled. Like he had any plans of stopping. He could feast on her all day. He continued to lick and suck until he felt her thighs tighten around his neck and her clit pulsate. “You ready, sunshine?” But before she could say anything he pushed two fingers into her slick entrance while he sucked her greedily. Her walls constricted against his fingers as she came on his tongue. When her legs relaxed he wiped his face on her thighs and began to kiss his way up.

Violet had half her body on the bed and half of it on the floor; she was so sated and pliant she almost melted onto the floor. He stood up and adjusted her further back on the bed. “I thought you would be more verbal during sex,” he teased. Then he lay down next to her, his head supported by his hand and his elbow on the bed. With his other hand he drew lazy circles on her breasts down to her belly button and back up.

“Well, I thought you’d be less chatty during sex.”

He chuckled. “I want to see you. It’s too dark.”

She rolled to the side to face him. “It’s fine. All I need is to feel you.” She sat up and reached for the hem of his shirt. “Is this okay?”

The emotions he felt at how timid she was, how unsure, sweet, and sexy, made his chest constrict and his throat tighten. Instead, he answered her by sitting up and helping her pull the shirt over his head. She ran her small fingers down his chest, her nails digging softly against his skin. She pushed him back gently. She wanted to take charge and he wasn’t going to fight her. He’d take her any way he could. He had spent too many years craving Violet; anything she wanted he would give her. He lay back down and crossed his hands behind his neck, giving her full access to his body. His dick throbbed against his jeans, but he sucked it up and closed his eyes as she caressed his skin. This was torture—pure, sweet torture. A lesson on self-control was what this was.

“You’re so sexy, Cain,” she said as she bent down and kissed his neck. “So tall and muscular.” When she moved away he reached for her neck and pulled her back down. He could kiss this woman for the rest of his life and never tire. Her hand roamed lower on his body as she gently bit his lip. Then her hand slipped underneath his shorts. He stiffened, grabbed her wrist, and stopped her.

“No. Not yet.”

“Not yet? I thought…” She sat up. “I thought men liked when—”

“Trust me, Vi, men like it. But I don’t want to come in your hand.”

“Oh,” she said, and moved her body lower. But he hooked his arms under hers and lifted her up and over him.

“Or your mouth,” he clarified. “I want to come inside of you, Vi. Not in your hands or in your mouth. Not yet, at least.”

She scooted down and pulled his jeans off, bringing his underwear along with it.

“Now we’re both naked.”

“I can see why you were nervous,” he said, wrapping his arms around her, his cock throbbing against her.

“You’re nervous? You’ve done this a million times with a slew of women—you can’t possibly be nervous. It’s just me.”

“That’s exactly why I’m nervous.”

She reached out for his cock. When she felt the ring she said, “Oh, man. I forgot about that. Now I kind of wish there was light in here too.” She added nervously, “I’m not sure what to do with it.”

“It goes in your pussy along with my cock, sunshine.”

“Yeah, I figured that.” Her hands shook as she guided him to her entrance.

He stopped her and reached to the floor blindly. He took his wallet out of his shorts, pulled out a condom, unwrapped it with his teeth, slid it on and then positioned her back to where she was. “Okay, as you were,” he said, causing her to laugh. Again she grabbed his dick, and this time once it was at her entrance she slid down onto it, trembling.

“You okay?” he croaked.

“Yes,” she whispered.

Cain was not a playboy by any stretch of the imagination, but he had been with a fair share of women. And yet…being inside Violet felt unlike any other experience he’d ever had. It was as if he’d found a missing puzzle piece. She fit him perfectly. For a moment, neither moved, spoke, or breathed. They just felt.

Cain rolled them over so he could be on top, and slowly he began to move. “Oh!” she gasped when he rolled his hip. “Oh God, I love that ring!” Violet exclaimed, and Cain chuckled. He continued to move in and out gently, slowly. It was killing him and by her nails digging into his back, it was killing her too. He grabbed her ass and moved it higher, causing his ring to hit what was apparently the perfect spot, because her walls were clenching his dick, bringing him almost unbearable amounts of pleasure. “Fuck, Vi, I’m going to come if you keep squeezing my dick like that.”

“Isn’t that the point?” she said in between moans. She brought her hand in between their bodies and began to rub her clit. It was the most unexpected and surprising thing she could’ve done, and if he hadn’t already been on the verge of climaxing, this would have brought him right there. He reached down with one hand and pinched her nipple, causing her to arch almost off the bed. He repeated the assault on both nipples over and over until she was trembling under him.

“Shit, Violet!” He groaned one last time and felt her legs shake and her pussy tighten further as he exploded inside her and finally collapsed on top of her.

“Can you breathe?” he asked into her neck a minute later.

All her limbs were wrapped around him. “A little.” He kissed her neck before rolling off her and to the side.

“Was that good for you?” Violet asked, her face tucked into his chest.

“Good?” he said as he padded to the bathroom to discard the condom. “Good is not the word I’d use. Mind-blowing is more like it.” When he returned to the bedroom, he slid back into bed with her, gathering her close to him.

Sex had never been so good. So perfect. Yes, mind-blowing was the word she would use to describe it too, she thought as he entwined his leg around hers. He was so much taller than she was that it felt as if all his limbs were on her, cocooning her from the rest of the world. Since that kiss over a decade ago, she’d tried never to think of Cain as anything other than a friend. It had been hard, since he was so sexy and handsome. But she had been truly in love with Jeremy, and Cain’s rejection of her all those years ago had been a lesson learned. Or so she’d thought. Now she was ready to lay it all on the line. Jeremy was gone. She couldn’t undo that. She hadn’t done anything wrong. While he was alive she’d been a perfect girlfriend. Attentive. Loyal. Loving. Faithful. But he was gone and she was a woman. A woman with needs.

In Cain’s arms, feeling his body against hers, she suddenly felt an upswelling of emotion she hadn’t realized she’d been feeling: loneliness. It hit her hard and fast, like a punch in the gut. For years she’d just been existing. She hadn’t really been living. She certainly hadn’t been feeling. She had forgotten how good it felt being with a man—and not just sex, but the feeling of human contact, his breath on her, his touch. She’d missed this kind of feeling, which only came with intimacy. She was fairly certain he’d felt it too. This was the exact thing he’d told her couldn’t happen. This was supposed to be just sex. But here she was, feeling the precise thing she wasn’t supposed to be feeling. She couldn’t help it.

She hoped he felt the same way, because she wanted to do this again, and she wanted to do it often.

“Cain, I—”

“Violet—” They both spoke at the same time.

“You first,” she said with a little laugh.

“I, uh…I wanted to say that…Nothing. Just that you’re a good student, Vi,” he said as he sat up on the bed.

Well, wasn’t that just a bitch? Apparently she had misread the situation completely. She practically felt the proverbial cold water dousing her face. To him, it had been nothing more than a lesson. She had read too much into it, had put emotions into a place where emotions didn’t belong. She threw her legs over the side of the bed, holding the sheet against her body, even though it was still so dark neither one of them could see anything.

“Yep. You know me. Overachiever. I guess my dates will have you to thank for my bedroom skills.” She felt around on the floor until she found a T-shirt, then slipped the shirt over her head and tugged it down.

She felt him get up from the bed as she slipped her panties on. He hadn’t said anything else, and she was so discombobulated she wasn’t sure what to do. Once dressed, she went to the bathroom, closed the door, and turned on the light. The woman looking back at her in the mirror had swollen pink lips, her blond hair was a wild mess of curls, and her skin was flushed from head to toe. She held on to the counter, closed her eyes, and took a few deep breaths to calm her nerves. Then she splashed some cold water on her face.

There was a knock on the door. “Vi…I, um…”

“I totally get it. You’re going to your bed. If we weren’t living together, you’d be heading home. I get it. No need to worry about me. I’m just going to jump in the shower. See you tomorrow, right?” she said through the door, hoping she sounded convincing.

There was silence. “Yeah, Vi. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then. We okay?”

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t we be?” She hoped he didn’t hear the quiver in her voice as the tears streamed down her face.

“So, okay, then. Good night.”

“Night.”

She turned on the water in the shower to distract from the awkwardness.

“Thanks for the lesson, Cain.” It was one she wouldn’t soon forget. She slid down the floor of the bathroom and released a sob.

Twice.

Twice she’d lost her heart to Cain.

That kiss all those years ago, and now this. And it was all her doing this time. The man couldn’t’ve been clearer. He had given her an out. Make that outs, plural. He’d warned her. And, stupidly, she’d jumped in with her eyes wide open. She’d known this was nothing more than Cain being helpful and horny. She wasn’t that naive. Men wanted sex. She had pretty much given it to him freely; of course he wasn’t going to decline. Hell, she had instigated it. So she had no one to blame but herself.

Nevertheless, at that moment she realized one thing: she didn’t know Cain as well as she’d thought. He was one hell of an actor. How could she have misread him that egregiously?

It was all just part of the lesson, she thought. But the lesson wasn’t the sex itself. No. The lesson was that sex is just sex, nothing more. She needed to learn to keep her heart the hell out of sex.

God, if only her heart wasn’t so stupid!