Nineteen

Lord Darnell arrived in good time and in good spirits the next day, blond and handsome in a coat of light blue superfine and dove-colored pantaloons. His waistcoat was a marvel of varying shades of blue. He handed Elisabeth into his curricle with a flourish, and soon they were driving through the crisp morning air at a spanking pace, Elisabeth was carrying a new parasol that had arrived from the maker during her absence from town, and she felt very modish as she raised it.

“What a lovely day,” she said as they started. “The air is so clear.”

“And you are looking even more beautiful than usual,” Lord James replied gaily. “How do you manage it?”

Elisabeth shook her head at him. “How can I convince you that I don’t like fulsome compliments?” she replied. “My looks will never be more than passable.” She smiled at him, her violet eyes sparkling. “Though I must admit that I think my new parasol dazzling.” She spun it above them, making the light flicker through the ivory silk and delicate frame.

Lord Darnell grimaced. “And when shall I succeed in convincing you that you are quite stupid on the subject of your appearance? Indeed, it’s hard to credit in such an otherwise intelligent creature.”

Elisabeth shrugged impatiently. “Tell me what’s been happening in town while I was away. I wish to hear all the gossip.”

“All?” asked Lord Darnell, a wicked twinkle springing into his eyes.

Elisabeth laughed. “Well, perhaps not quite all. I don’t care for on dits.”

“Ah. Then there is little to tell,” he answered, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “There have been several engagements, and Prinny has sold some of his horses. The Queen was ill, but she is now better. Things are much as usual. I’d much rather talk about you.”

“What about me?” asked the girl.

“Everything!” he replied, throwing out a hand. “I wish to know everything about you.”

“What a hackneyed phrase,” said Elisabeth pleasantly. “And quite impossible, too.”

Lord Darnell goggled at her as they turned into the park. Then, he laughed. “You are dashed difficult to make love to, you know.”

“Exactly,” she replied. “So do let us talk about something interesting.”

Her companion’s expression was rueful, but he laughed again. “I don’t know how to talk to you. Nothing I say seems quite right.”

Elisabeth turned to him, surprised. “Nonsense,” she told him. “You are a wonderfully amusing conversationalist.”

“Am I? Amusing?” He urged the horses onto the crowded avenue that extended down the length of the park. “Well, that’s something, at least.”

Their dialogue was interrupted by the greetings of several acquaintances, and thus Elisabeth found it easy to change the subject. “I am thinking of giving an evening party,” she said.

“Really?”

“Yes. Partly for Belinda, to celebrate her engagement. I should have done it ere this. And partly to gather my friends together and return their hospitality.”

“Shall I be asked?” responded Lord Darnell hopefully.

“Do you think I would speak of it to you if I weren’t planning to invite you?” Elisabeth laughed at him. “How rude you must think me.”

“Oh, no,” he answered, “but you might do so for a reason. To punish me perhaps.”

Elisabeth frowned. “Punish you? For what?” He shrugged, and Elisabeth continued to watch him in puzzlement. “You are strange today,” she said finally. “Is something wrong?”

Lord Darnell didn’t look at her; he stared out over the horses’ heads into the park. He shook his head, then spoke quickly. “Will you go out of town after the season? Or have you had enough of the country for a while?”

There was a short pause. Elisabeth gazed at him speculatively. At last, she said, “I believe we will go down to Willowmere. I haven’t really thought, as yet. We will have Belinda’s wedding, you know, before that. It is to end the season; had you heard?”

Lord Darnell nodded, keeping his eyes on the avenue before them.

“That will be a great deal of work. When it’s over, I daresay we’ll all welcome a rest in the country. Will you go to Brighton?”

He smiled crookedly. “Perhaps. My mother will wish to; she always does. I’m not certain whether I shall go.”

Elisabeth was only half attending. She’d seen Derek Wincannon riding down the other side of the avenue, and she was wondering whether he would speak to her or ride past without noticing them.

“Have you been to Brighton?” Lord Darnell went on.

“What?” Elisabeth turned back to him. “I beg pardon?”

Her companion looked out over the people around them. He did not seem to find what he sought. “I merely inquired whether you’ve seen Brighton?”

“Oh, no.” Derek was now closer; in a moment, he would be opposite them. He hadn’t seen them, she thought, or he gave no sign if he had.

“You might think of staying there a few weeks in the summer,” said Lord Darnell. “It can be amusing. But, of course, one must engage lodgings well in advance. My mother could probably help you if you wish it. She knows all the houses.”

“Ah,” replied Elisabeth vaguely. Wincannon was opposite; he seemed preoccupied. Elisabeth thought of calling to him, but she found she couldn’t. A flash of shyness or embarrassment prevented it, to her surprise and chagrin.

“I can ask her about it, if you like,” said Lord James.

“Umm.” Derek was passing. He wouldn’t speak. Elisabeth was bitterly disappointed. She looked down at her hand, clenched in her lap; she’d so wished to talk with him. Absurdly, she felt like crying.

“Shall I, then?” Lord Darnell sounded a bit impatient.

“Shall you what?” replied Elisabeth, turning to look at him.

“Ask my mother.”

Elisabeth stared at him. She had lost the thread of the conversation. “To my party?” she said finally. “Oh, I’ll send her a card, certainly, and your sisters. I won’t forget them.”

Lord Darnell breathed an annoyed sigh. “You haven’t heard a word I said. What’s the matter?”

Elisabeth felt sadly flustered. As she opened her mouth to make some reply, a voice spoke from behind them, and she froze.

“Good morning,” said Derek Wincannon. “I beg your pardon. I didn’t see you at first. I nearly passed right by.” He came up beside the curricle and bowed slightly from the saddle. His coat was dark blue, accenting the color of his eyes, and the white of his neckcloth stood out against his dark skin.

Lord Darnell greeted him tersely, and Elisabeth murmured an indeterminate salute.

“I hope you had a pleasant stay in the country?” he continued.

Elisabeth raised her eyes. His unexpected appearance had caused her heart to beat very fast, and she felt a little breathless. “Yes,” she said, “thank you.”

There was a short silence. Elisabeth cast about desperately for something to say, but her mind was blank.

Lord Darnell wasn’t helpful, and Wincannon, too, appeared to be at something of a loss.

“A fine day,” said Derek at last.

Darnell flicked a speck of dust from his coat sleeve.

“Oh, yes,” replied Elisabeth. “I was just remarking on it.” She didn’t quite dare meet his gaze. What is the matter with me, she asked herself sternly? I wished to speak; I must do so. But something, perhaps the presence of Lord Darnell, kept her silent, and soon Wincannon bowed again.

“You won’t wish to keep your horses standing,” he said. “I’ll take my leave.”

Lord Darnell immediately urged the horses onward, and Elisabeth had not even time to say goodbye before they had left Derek behind, watching them from atop his mount, unmoving.

They rode on a while in silence. Elisabeth took several deep breaths. Then, her companion spoke. “I take it, then, that you don’t wish to go to Brighton.”

Elisabeth turned to look at him. The muscles around his mouth seemed tight, and he looked almost angry. “No,” she replied. “I don’t believe I do. I need to see what has been done at Willowmere.” She watched his face, perplexed at his manner.

“You have just done that,” he answered. “Surely your agent can supervise repairs.”

“He could, no doubt. But I wish to see for myself.”

Lord Darnell pulled rather sharply on the reins, turning the carriage into a cross lane. “I daresay you do. It’s your way. You always do just as you please.”

Elisabeth made no answer to this remark, and in a moment, he spoke again.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that as it sounded. It’s just that knowing you will leave in a few weeks, and I shan’t see you until next season, has upset me. There is something I wish to speak to you about.”

“Lord Darnell,” began Elisabeth.

“Yes, it is rather important, I think,” he went on quickly.

“I wish you wouldn’t…”

“I know it,” he interrupted, speaking sharply and rather loudly. “But it can’t be helped.”

Elisabeth looked steadily at him for a moment, but his eyes did not waver. “Very well,” she said finally, sighing a little.

“You might have expected it, I think,” said her companion.

“I hoped I had discouraged you,” she replied.

A muscle jerked in his cheek, and he kept his face forward. “You went a good way toward it. But I feel I must make you understand.” Elisabeth said nothing, and he continued in a tight voice. “When we first met, I informed you that I am a fortune hunter of the worst stripe.”

“Please,” began Elisabeth, but he cut her off with a gesture.

“It is true,” he insisted. “It has always been true. And I don’t deny it. But nonetheless, Elisabeth, I love you.”

The strain so evident on his face kept her silent for a moment. She couldn’t think what to reply. Lord Darnell had never spoken to her so seriously, and she was afraid of wounding him. “I…I am very sensible of…” she began, but he interrupted.

“Wait. Say nothing yet. I wish to explain everything to you. I know you will refuse me, but I want you to understand.” He gave her a speaking look, and Elisabeth nodded. “I made a push to meet you as soon as I heard of your existence,” he went on. “Naturally. I do so with all heiresses.” The smile he directed at her was twisted. “And I exerted myself to captivate you. It seemed an ideal match. You were young, beautiful, intelligent, and rich. I had never met such a woman.”

“Lord Darnell,” put in Elisabeth. “Please…”

But he shook his head emphatically. “You must let me say this.” He looked at her again, and she bowed her head. “Soon, I found you were quite unlike any other girl. You never took me seriously; you teased me and laughed at me when I tried to attach you. But also, you laughed with me, as no one else ever had. I began to prefer your company to any other. In short, instead of dazzling you, I was dazzled. When you left town last week, I suddenly realized how I have come to depend on seeing you.” His voice faltered a bit, and he paused. Elisabeth wished to interrupt, to stop him, but before she could form the words, he went on. “I love you, Elisabeth,” he said. “I wish with all my heart to marry you and devote myself to your happiness.”

“I…I don’t know what…”

“Wait.” He looked into her eyes, his gaze more compelling than she had ever seen it. “I admit to you that I am all to pieces. But the fault is not entirely mine, and I could mend my ways. There is the title, and my mother would welcome you.” His mouth twisted. “Not a recommendation, perhaps, but I would do anything for you. I would…”

“Stop,” said Elisabeth in a positive tone. “I cannot let you go on.” He was silent, looking at her with such a sorrowful expression that she could hardly bear it. “Oh, Lord Darnell, I don’t wish to hurt you. I think of you as my friend, but…”

“But you are not in love with me,” he finished. She could think of no kind answer, and they rode on in silence for some moments.

“I knew it, of course,” he went on after a while. “You did let me see it. And in any case, I never believed such good fortune could befall me. My luck has never been so good.” Again, silence fell. Elisabeth looked down and tried to find words to lighten the atmosphere.

The pause lengthened. They reached the park gate, and Lord Darnell guided the horses out into the street once more. “It doesn’t signify,” he said then. “I’m still glad I told you of my feelings. I couldn’t stand the thought that you might consider me only a fortune hunter, even now.” He looked at her. “You do believe me?”

“Of course,” answered Elisabeth quickly. And she did. The sincerity of his emotion had been unmistakable.

He nodded. “That’s good, then; that’s something.” He seemed to swallow, and then he went on lightly. “I continue to hang out for a rich wife, of course. You will tell me if you come across a likely candidate?”

She tried to return some equally flippant answer, but the words stuck in her throat. She had to content herself with nodding. Then she looked away, out over the busy streets around them. They said nothing more until they reached her house.

When Lord Darnell helped her down from his curricle, she held his hand a moment longer than necessary. “I am truly sorry,” she told him. “I wish things might be otherwise.”

He squeezed her hand gratefully and nodded. “As do I,” he replied feelingly. She smiled a little. “That’s better. We can remain friends, can we not?”

Elisabeth nodded. “Of course. I should miss you sadly.”

He, too, smiled slightly. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, then released her and bowed. She turned to the door, and he climbed back into the curricle. Elisabeth stood in the doorway and watched him drive away.

She went straight up to her bedchamber without seeing any of her family, wanting a little time to herself. The depth of her reaction to Lord Darnell’s proposal surprised her a bit. It hadn’t been unexpected, but the sincerity of his feelings was. She’d set him down as an agreeable rattle, without profound emotions of any kind, and she had been proved wrong. The realization that he really did care for her, and the necessity of refusing him, combined to make her feel very low. Added to this was her disappointment over her encounter with Derek Wincannon. This latter emotion, she found, was at least as strong as her regret over hurting Lord Darnell, and she suddenly realized that her feelings for Mr. Wincannon were far deeper. Wincannon’s early concern for her welfare in London, and, more important, his recent help, which had brought them into close contact over a period of time, had affected her strongly. And his absence over the past few days had completed the process, she saw. Clearly, he was much more important to her than she had known.

Elisabeth felt her cheeks growing hot, and she put her hands to them. I’m in love with him, she said to herself. She stared into the mirror at the flushed figure reflected there; she looked very young and foolish. She lowered her hands. “This is folly,” she told her reflection severely. “You are well past the age for such romantic fancies. And he knows it as well as you. I refuse to allow you to indulge yourself this way.” The figure in the mirror smiled foolishly in response.

But after a moment, she shook herself. Mooning about would accomplish nothing. It was imperative that she see Derek and explain her behavior so that things could return to normal between them. But how to manage it?

Finally, after trying and rejecting various schemes, she chose the simplest. She went to her writing desk and wrote a note asking him to call. Leaving it in the hall to be delivered, she took a deep breath. The matter was out of her hands now.