I watch him go with my hand pressed to my cheek. The place where he kissed me tingles and I can feel my whole body warm up. When he walks away he takes something of me with him. I wanted to turn my head and press my lips to his so badly, but I chickened out. His big body moves from me and the snow begins to fall. Just when I’m about to walk away he turns to give me one last look. My breath catches as he smiles at me, and somehow I know he was hoping I would still be standing here watching him.

It took everything in me this morning to make myself get off his sofa and leave the comfort of his home. I knew I needed to be out of there before he woke up, and anyone else in the building for that matter.

Harris is the kind of man that would want to walk me to my car if he was awake; that was clear by how he treated me last night. I wasn't some conquest he’d picked up and tried to get into bed. He hung on my every word when I spoke, and I could tell he was tired but refused to call it a night. I didn't want to leave and I know he didn’t want me to either. I also wasn't prepared to tell him no. He was too charming and sweet when he gave me everything he thought I might want. And all he seemed to want in return was my attention. How was I supposed to turn that down?

He didn’t make one move on me all night and barely touched me. I’m not sure if he was doing it on purpose because when I tried to lean in closer he wouldn't respond to it. I guess it wasn’t about that for him last night, but after the way he touched his lips to my cheek there is so much more simmering below the surface.

When I closed my eyes last night, I was only going to pretend to be asleep until he finally went to bed, but the comfort of his home was too much and I had the best sleep I’ve had in months. I jerked myself awake when the sun came up and I knew I had to get out of there. I tempted fate as I kissed his cheek before I left because I thought it would be the last time I’d ever see him again. It was the same place he’d kissed me moments ago.

When he turns the corner out of my sight I get into my car.

I told myself this morning would be the last time I saw him, but now look what’s happened. I’m completely full of shit because the second I left his place I had my phone locked in my hand hoping that at any moment he’d text me. It didn’t take him long. I planned to ignore his call, but I was lying to myself, not only texting him back but agreeing to everything the man said.

I crank up the car because I need to get going. I have to go home at some point or Cara will blow up my phone asking about the cash I made from last night. My phone goes off, and when I look at the screen butterflies flap their wings in my stomach. I smile before I read the text just enjoying the feeling of having something exciting in my life. I’ve been so wrapped up in other things that I didn’t realize it was missing until now.

Harris: It’s starting to snow. Drive safe.

His concern is something else I’m not used to. Having someone worry over me has never been a thing. My parents didn't even worry about me when they were around. I was always an afterthought and I didn't know how good it could feel to have it until this moment. Am I getting in over my head?

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” I mumble to myself in the rearview mirror.

I’m all too aware that life can change in an instant, but I can’t let my mind go there. I just have to focus on the money and get through this. It’s not like I can text or call him and tell him I can’t do this because I already know the outcome. I’ll cave as soon as he opens his mouth because he has this power over me that I can’t control. First, I have to get myself on my feet and then I can think about the future. Harris is helping me with that by giving me this job today. Maybe he’ll have more work for me in the future and I’m already coming up with ways to be near him more.

I put the car into drive and pull out into the street as the snow falls all around. Winter was always my favorite time of year, but I’m not so sure I’ll feel the same anymore, especially if I spend the next few days sleeping in the car. I hope Cara’s brother leaves soon, but I’m guessing not with the big bag he brought.

My phone chimes and I check it when I stop at a red light.

Harris: Tell me you’ll be careful or I’ll get nothing done today.

I wonder what it would be like to have him pace in his office while he’s thinking about my safety? As intoxicating as that thought might be, I couldn’t do it to him. I send him a text and smile the whole time.

Me: I’ll be safe. Now get to work.

I glance up the red light as another text comes through.

Harris: You should turn on your location and share it with me. It will make me feel better.

I click out of the message to turn it on, but right before my finger hits the button I pause and wonder if I should. As if Harris can see me another text comes up.

Harris: Plus you might need help with where to go today.

He says what I need to hear, so I do as he asks.

Harris: Thank you, sweetheart

The words make my heart skip a beat, but I’m jolted back to reality when a car honks from behind me. I let my foot off the brake and begin to drive. I force my mind somewhere else as best I can. I’ve already planned out the route in my head based on all the places Harris told me to go.

If I’m good at anything, it’s memorizing. It made school easy for me but also boring. I love driving in the city and finding my way around. It’s been one of the only good things that came from my parents’ situation. I didn't appreciate it enough before, but now that I’m forced to, I see the beauty in it here. It’s become a puzzle and I want to solve it with the fastest way to get from one place to another.

I ride around picking up and dropping off all the things I’m supposed to. I try not to think about Harris, but that’s like trying not to think of a pink polar bear as soon as someone tells you not to. But at least I’m busy, and that makes it easier to relax. It’s the first day in a long time that I’m not constantly stressed and I’m actually enjoying what I’m doing. Who would have thought Harris had the ability to give me that without being with me?

When I pull up to the third stop on my list, I park the car and get out. I stand in front of the old church that’s been converted into a bar and I’m in awe. I see a man open the front door and come towards me.

“She’s beautiful, isn't she?” he says as we both look up at the stained-glass windows.

“She is,” I admit. “How have I not noticed this place before?” I ask, looking over at the older man.

“It was only recently restored. She was set for demolition, but Hill saved her.”

“Harris?” I say, a little surprised. The place is beautiful and makes me wonder why his own home is so empty.

“Yep. He’s got a thing for old buildings, but he didn't have use for this one.” He shakes his head as if remembering something. “He saved it then talked me into buying it. I swear that man can talk anyone into anything.” There's laughter in his voice and I nod in agreement.

Even when I tried to push him away he only kept getting closer. I have a fear that sits in the back of my mind that at any moment what little I have could be taken from me for no reason and it’s all because of my past. But maybe Harris can look past that?

“He has a talent for seeing the beauty in what’s underneath the surface, that’s for sure. People passed this place for years and didn't give the old church a thought. Harris saw what it could become.” His words hit closer to home than he knows.

Is that how Harris sees me? It’s sweet he might think he can save me, but I should be saving myself. The idea that he wants to come charging into my life gives me hope for the future.

I look back at the church and wonder if I would be the same. Once he’s done saving me, will he be on to the next? From what I know about him, he’s an admitted workaholic. I’m not sure I’d fare as well as the church did when he moved on to another project.

“Let me get you those cases,” he says as he walks back into the church and leaves me to stew in my own thoughts. He returns a few moments later and puts the boxes into my car for me. Then he gives me a large tip like all the other places I’ve been today.

“This is too much.” I raise my voice so he can hear, but he’s already heading back inside. I want to make sure he didn't accidentally give too much.

“Don’t worry about it.” He throws over his shoulder, saying the same thing as everyone else.

I look down at the money and wonder if Harris put them up to it. Is this how he’s going to try and save me? My shoulders drop because the last thing I want is pity. Maybe I’m mistaking kindness for what I thought had been a little flirting.

I put the money into my pocket and get back into my car. I see I have a message from Cara and I send her a quick text back letting her know I’ll try and come by later. I’ve still got several more places to stop before I’m supposed to meet Harris, and I don’t want to mess anything up.