Chandeliers shimmered and floors gleamed. The air in the ballroom was thick with the scent of cigars, perfume, and warm bodies. Laughter and orchestral music seemed too loud, too jarring. Every time a woman’s cackle rang in her ears, Lilith winced.

A gentleman grabbed her, elegant in his eveningwear. She didn’t recognize him. In fact, she recognized no one. Their faces were muddied, swirled into a mish mash of features that she could not see. The man whirled her around the ballroom before passing her onto another. Then another. Then another. Each man did a turn of the room until she was dizzy and nauseated. She tried to wriggle away, to free herself from their holds but none would release her.

“Please,” she begged.

A face came into focus, standing to the side, watching her.

“Harry, please…help.” The words came weakly and never reached him.

He remained in one spot, his arms folded, a pained expression on his face. Lilith’s vision grew dark and spotty and she collapsed to the floor, retching over the beautiful marble. Laughter and jeering grew deafening and when she looked up everyone was pointing at her. Everyone apart from Harry. He shook his head and pressed through the crowds.

“Harry…”

“Lil!” Someone nudged her from behind. She glanced up to see Catherine hovering over her. “Lil,” her friend repeated and jabbed her shoulder with a finger.

Lilith frowned and rubbed the spot she had pressed.

“Lil, come on.” She poked her again.

The ballroom faded, and Lilith became aware of the pillow behind her and the hard press of the chaise longue arm against her legs. Another poke to her shoulder, and she opened her eyes to find Catherine peering down at her.

“It’s not like you to sleep during the day.”

Lilith grimaced and pushed herself up. “I struggled to sleep last night. I only meant to close my eyes for a few minutes.”

“Is there something on your mind?” Catherine eyed her. “You have been odd lately. Are those silly newspapers still bothering you?”

“No, no. I am fine, I promise. I was just…concerned for the orphans.”

Which was true. In part. After her visit to the orphanage the other day, she had been pondering how to help. It was only a small orphanage but served many towns and villages in the area. They had more children than they could really cope with which was hard enough when the children were well but most of them had fallen foul to this sickness that was sweeping the area.

What she could not tell Catherine was she could not stop thinking of Harry. Of how his body felt pressed against hers. Of how her stomach whirled when she thought of him or how her senses seemed to go on alert whenever he was around. How could she tell her? Catherine might be her closest and dearest friend but there was no chance she would understand.

Not to mention, she was married to Lilith’s brother—and more importantly Harry’s employer. She would not risk his job for anything.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, Thorne had Mr. Rowley send over some food. Hopefully with a good meal, the children will recover quickly.”

“Oh, I shall have to thank him.”

“Thank him later. We are late already.” Catherine flung a spencer jacket at Lilith.

She fumbled to catch the jacket and frowned. “Late?”

Catherine propped hands on hips. “To go to Julia’s, remember? We have more planning to do.”

“Oh, yes. Planning. For the ball.”

“Yes. Planning. For the ball,” Catherine repeated. “I swear, Lil, something is not right with you. Once upon a time all you could talk of was wretched balls and dances and handsome men.”

“I suppose I have lost interest a little. You cannot blame me.”

“I know your debut did not go as planned but this one will be perfect, I promise. Now put your jacket on, we need to leave.”

Indecision pulled at her. It was not that she did not enjoy Catherine and her sisters’ company but they seemed to think that this ball was entirely for her—which it was not and had never been. But they were all determined to make up for the disaster which was her coming out ball. Lilith felt guilty to realize she did not care one jot for it. Even if it was not a disaster, the idea of mingling with people who had already cast their judgement over her made her stomach burn.

“Would you…would you mind if I was a little late?”

Catherine frowned. “Why?”

“I must stop by the orphanage first. I cannot stop thinking of those sick children.”

Catherine shook her head with a smile. “Are you sure you are not ill? We all know you have a soft heart, but I did not think anything could take the place of balls and parties.”

“Then you must think me shallow indeed.”

Her friend’s frown deepened. “Never. Goodness, Lil, I do not know what to do with you. You are the strangest bean I have ever met.”

“I’m not trying to be,” Lilith protested. “And I’m not a bean.”

Catherine laughed. “I am trying to tease you.” She waved a hand. “Go be with your sick children if you like. I shall make your excuses to my sisters. I understand that you do not want to spend time with your dearest, dearest friend.” She pouted with exaggeration.

“You know I love you, Kitty.”

“So you better had.” Catherine tossed a red curl over her shoulder. “Not only am I your very best friend, but I am your sister now, and the kindest, loveliest, wittiest person you could ever meet. Don’t you ever forget that.”

Lilith giggled. “Oh yes, there’s no doubting there. You certainly are the kindest, loveliest…?” She paused. “What else was it?”

“Wittiest.”

“Wittiest person I could ever meet. I am lucky to have you in my life indeed.”

Catherine grinned. “Excellent. Now I had better dash. Julia will be mad if I am late. I swear she only arranges these gatherings so early to spite me.”

Lilith glanced at the clock. It was past lunchtime and working its way into the afternoon. Not late at all. But Catherine was notorious for preferring night hours. When she could, she would spend hours with Thorney, looking up at the stars from their new telescope or going out to view them from the gardens. Lilith liked the starts but she never quite understood Catherine’s fascination—or her brother’s new-found interest—with the night skies.

“Toodle-loo,” Catherine chirped as she left.

Lilith gave her friend and vague wave and snatched up her spencer before thrusting her arms determinedly into the jacket. Memories of that odd dream rang in her mind. She knew there would be no place better to forget it all than the orphanage and if she could only do some good there, she would feel much better about those poor children.

Setting off at a determined pace, she reached the building within half an hour of leaving. The orphanage was a red brick affair that had once been a school building but had fallen out of use once another school had opened closer to the village. Tucked away on a back road that led to the village and surrounded by grass, it was ideal for housing those children without families.

Mrs. Hartledge opened the door. With steely gray hair, wire framed glasses that were slightly crooked and a long nose, the woman gave across an air of no nonsense. Her brows rose when she saw Lilith. She had a thick Somerset accent, despite the fact she had lived in Hampshire for many years after her husband died.

“Lady Lilith, I did not expect to see you today. Why, we only just had a visit from you.”

Lilith twined her hands together. “I know but I thought…well, that is, I thought I might be of some help. I know you are struggling to look after the sick children. I…I have some experience with children.”

“Well, I do not see what harm you could do but I would not want Lord Thornefield blaming us for making you ill.”

“He will not, I promise. I have a strong constitution anyway. I am rarely sick.”

Mrs. Hartledge gave a shrug. “Be it on your head. This sickness is beating everyone. Even Mr. Fletcher came down with it last week. He is still on his sickbed which means we are having to take on his duties too.”

Lilith grimaced. Without the caretaker, the ladies of the orphanage had to be overwhelmed with work. Lilith could not do all of Mr. Rowley’s work, but she would certainly help where she could.

She peeled off her jacket and hung it on the hook in the doorway. The scent of lemon and a sickly odor hung about the place. Normally it was scented with lavender and soap but no doubt without the caretaker to clean the building, the women were struggling to keep on top of it all.

“You get back to work, Mrs. Hartledge,” Lilith told the woman. She undid her bonnet and hung it up with her jacket. “I will see what I can do to help.”

Mrs. Hartledge pushed her ill-fitting glasses up her nose. “As you will, my lady. Far be it for me to turn down a helping hand.”

Lilith made her way across the courtyard to the sick room. Normally there were only a handful of children in there at a time, but it was crowded with extra beds. The children ranged in ages from tiny babies to those who would be off looking for work before long. The older ones mostly slept off their illness, but the younger ones suffered particularly, and several were crying with fever.

The two women nursing the children accepted her help with gratitude. Ruby and Mary-Jane both showed signs of fatigue with dark rings under their eyes and hair sticking out from under their caps at all angles. Lilith was tempted to shoo them outside for some fresh air and a cup of tea but even she did not think she could manage all these sick children on her own.

Hours passed, and Lilith damped down brows, cuddled crying children, changed bedding, and spoon fed those who were too weak to eat. She cradled a little boy to her chest and sung a soft lullaby to him. He stuffed a thumb in his mouth and closed his eyes while she rocked him. Her heart stretched at the trust he placed in her as he drifted off to sleep, sucking furiously on his thumb.

“My lady?” Mary-Jane said softly. “It is getting late. I would not have you walk home in the dark.”

Lilith peered out of the window to see the sun had begun to drop. Her stomach gave a growl as if to remind her of the time and how close to supper it was. She eased the little boy from her chest and tucked him in.

“I did not realize it was so late,” Lilith whispered back.

“You had better make haste, my lady. It’s not safe for you to be out late.”

“Yes, I’d better had.” Lilith stood and glanced around at the children. “I shall call again tomorrow if you do not mind.”

“Mind?” laughed Mary-Jane. “Why should we mind? You have been a wonderful help today.”

“Oh good. I was worried I might get in the way, but I hated feeling so useless when I knew there were all these sick children.”

“I actually had a chance to sit and have a cup of tea, my lady. I think that was my first in three days.”

“Well, hopefully you shall have another chance tomorrow.” Lilith gathered her jacket and bonnet. Fatigue made her mouth dry and she had only just realized her feet were sore but she could not help smile. For the first time in her life, she had felt useful and really, truly wanted.