Chapter 2
The elevator dinged. Denise closed her eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling the astringent scent of disinfectant. She stepped out of the car and walked down the wide hall. Sprocket padded next to her, the black and red “service animal” vest snug around her chest. The hospital was one of the few places she wore it.
Stopping at the nurse’s station, Denise leaned against the tall counter. “Morning, Nadia.”
“Good morning, Denise. Hi, Sprocket.” She smiled, flashing a deep dimple in her left cheek. “Can she have a biscuit?”
Jeez, had she ever been that young and innocent? “Sure.”
Nadia popped the lid on the tin of dog treats the nurses had started keeping behind the desk when Denise became a regular visitor and held one out to Sprocket.
“Is she awake?”
Nadia glanced at the clock. “She was when I checked on her about half an hour ago, but she’s been sleeping a lot lately.”
Denise pulled her lips between her teeth and nodded. “How’s she doing today?”
The nurse’s smile faded and her eyes filled with sympathy. “I’ll page the doctor and let her know you’re here.”
Denise looked at the desk and jerked her head in a semblance of a nod. “Thanks.” She walked further down the hall to Sarah’s room. Lifting the handle, she pushed open the door and entered the sunny private hospice room.
Her cousin reclined in the raised bed, her bald head pale against the pillows. The remote rested in her lax hand and her eyes were closed. Denise eased the remote away.
Sarah’s fingers closed around it and her eyes popped open. “I’m watching that, Cousin It.” Her voice was hoarse and broke in the middle.
“The TV’s off, cue ball.” She forced a smile.
Sarah looked at the small flat-screen mounted on the wall across from the bed. “It was on a minute ago.”
“Uh huh.” Denise sat in the large chair next to the bed and curled her legs under her bottom. Sprocket lay down next to her. A breakfast tray sat untouched beside the bed. “You didn’t eat, pipsqueak.”
“Don’t call me that.” Sarah pushed further up on the bed. “It’s mush. Did you bring me a breakfast burrito?”
She scoffed. “After you blew chunks the last time? Hell, no.”
A weak smile stretched the paper-thin skin across her cheeks. “Yeah. Probably a good idea. Wasn’t nearly as good coming back up.”
“Blech.” Denise faked gagging.
“Oh, please. I’ve held your hair back plenty of times.”
“True, but you don’t have any hair.”
“Touché.” She closed her eyes. Denise worried she’d fallen asleep again, but her eyes fluttered open a few seconds later. “How’re the kids?”
“They’re good. I’ll bring ‘em by on Friday after school.”
Sarah shook her head. “No.”
Denise sighed. “Sarah.”
“I don’t want them to see me like this.”
“I’m not going to let you distance yourself. They love you and miss you. Don’t shut them out.”
A tear spilled over her cheek. “I hate this,” she whispered. “It’s not how it’s supposed to be.”
Unfolding from the chair, she sat on the edge of the bed and held Sarah’s frail hand between her palms. Sprocket raised her head, tuned into her emotions.
“They aren’t going to have me for very much longer.”
“I know, honey.” Denise kept her voice soft. “But you need to let them have you for as long as they can.”
More tears escaped as Sarah squeezed her eyes closed, but she nodded. “I just…I want their memories of me to be good ones. Not from when I was sick and dying.”
“I’ll make sure they remember all the good things about you. Mom and Dad will, too. You don’t really think I’m going to hide all your horrible nineties high school fashion fails, do you?”
She smiled. “Those were all your hand-me-downs.”
“Yeah, but they don’t know that.”
“Promise me you won’t let them forget me.”
She brushed her thumb across Sarah’s cheek. “That’d be impossible. They’re going to carry you around with them forever.”
“Thank you,” she whispered.
She kissed the back of Sarah’s hand. Even though she felt like she’d said the right thing, how the hell was she supposed to comfort her? There were no words. No handbook. No how-to guide for the terminally ill. Her morbidity crept in and she selfishly couldn’t help but hope that when it was her time it happened quickly instead of slowly dragging out over the course of months.
Now she had to dump more bad news on her cousin. “We need to talk about something else.”
This was going to suck, but she needed to know. They’d never talked about what legal provisions Sarah had made for the kids. It was her fault. She kept thinking if she didn’t talk about it, it wouldn’t happen.
“Eddie was released from prison.”
Sarah’s eyes flew open. “What?” she gasped. “No. No!” She shook her head. “He’s not supposed to be out for another five years. He can’t be out.”
“I know,” she said softly, trying to calm her down. “I know.”
Sarah sucked in air, hyperventilating. The machines beside her bed started beeping and Denise hit the call button. “Calm down, honey. Please.”
Fear shone from her eyes. Sprocket stood and woofed as Nadia opened the door.
“What’s—” Rushing to the bed, she lifted the oxygen mask hanging from the rack next to it. She fit it over Sarah’s head and turned the valve on the wall.
Sarah inhaled deeply, never breaking eye contact with Denise. Her breath fogged up the clear plastic with each heavy exhale.
“What happened?” The nurse reached into the pocket of her scrubs and pulled out a stethoscope.
“I had to give her some bad news.” Denise shoved her hands into her pockets and scrunched her shoulders.
Nadia held the earpieces over her ears. “Let’s avoid doing that again, okay?”
Denise nodded. It was a lie. She had more.
Nadia listened to Sarah’s chest, then removed the stethoscope and wrapped it around her neck. She grasped her tiny wrist and looked at her watch. After several seconds, she looked back at Sarah. “You okay now?”
Her breathing had evened out and her cousin nodded.
Nadia removed the mask from her face. “I’m going to hook you up to the nose hose.” She opened her mouth, but the nurse cut her off. “I know you don’t like it, but you need to wear it for a while.”
She sighed. “Okay.”
Nadia wrapped the clear plastic hose around each of her ears and adjusted the flow of air. She looked at Denise. “Not too much longer.”
Denise nodded and waited for the click of the door closing.
Sarah’s eyelids sank closed. “Tell me the rest.” The blue circles under their depths seemed even more pronounced than they had only minutes ago.
Resuming her position on the bed, Denise wrapped her hands around her cousin’s again. “He skipped parole.”
The weak hand clenched. “How do you know?”
“The FBI came to the house looking for you.”
She opened her eyes and tears spilled over. “How did they know where to find me?”
“Several ways, I’m sure, they’re the FBI.” Sarah didn’t smile at her poor attempt at humor. “He’s been calling the house.” Denise licked her lips. “Kaden’s talked to him a couple of times.”
Sarah’s hand crashed to her chest. “What?”
“Kaden has questions.” She wasn’t sure how much he and Kimber knew about the man who fathered them. “How much do you want me to tell them?”
Sarah took a shuddering breath. “All of it.” Her whisper was harsh—full of pain, fear, and anger.
“Are you sure?”
Tears fell freely. “Yes. I wouldn’t have chosen this, but they need to understand exactly how dangerous he is.”
“Even what he did to you?” She didn’t like that idea. Didn’t understand the purpose of telling the kids.
“Use your best judgment. But tell them why he went to jail.”
“Okay.” Relief flooded through her. Thank God. She hoped she would never have to tell them exactly what kind of monster their father was. “We need to talk about their guardianship.”
“I took care of it right after I was diagnosed.” Her voice had grown weak and her lids drooped. The conversation had taken a lot out of her.
Guilt shimmied through Denise, but she needed to start making arrangements for the kids. “I’ll talk to Mom and Dad about the best time to transition the kids. Might be best to wait for the summer since it’s only a few months away.” That way they wouldn’t start a new school when the year was almost over.
Sarah fought to keep her eyes open. “You, Denise. You’re their guardian.”
“What?” Shock slammed into her, knocking the breath right out of her chest. “Sarah, that’s not a good idea. Mom and Dad are the best option.”
“You’re the best option.” Her voice was surprisingly strong.
“Sarah—”
“I love your mom and dad—more than my own parents—but they’re too old to take care of an eight- and nine-year-old.”
“I’m not equipped to take care of them. I don’t know how to be a mom.” Shit, some days she had a hard time taking care of herself. It’d never crossed her mind that her parents wouldn’t get custody. They were making room in their house for K-Squared. That was the plan.
Sprocket put her nose in the back of Denise’s knee and pushed. Her left hand fell to her dog’s head.
“You’ve been doing it for the past three months.”
“That’s a temporary arrangement so they wouldn’t have to move schools in the middle of the year,” she argued.
Sarah’s eyelids fell again. “Now it’s permanent. I’m giving you the best of me.” Her voice faded and she drifted off.
Denise palmed her forehead and stood. What was Sarah thinking? There were still periods she struggled to make it through the day. How was she supposed to do that with two kids?
Sprocket all but sat on her feet and stared up at her. “Rawr rawr.” She sounded like Scooby-Doo.
Her wet nose pushed at Denise’s hand and she scratched her behind the ear. “I’m not freaking out girl, but…fuck.”
A soft knock sounded before the door opened and Sarah’s doctor peeked her head in.
Denise moved to the door and stepped out of the room, holding the door for her dog. “Morning, Dr. King. She just fell asleep.”
“Good. She needs to rest.” She slipped her hands into the pockets of her white coat.
Do they learn that stance in med school?
“Nadia said she had a small episode.”
Guilt played at the edges of her mind. What a cluster. “Yeah. I had to give her some bad news.” Dr. King gave her a stern look. “It was something she needed to know, Doc. I wouldn’t have told her otherwise.”
“It’s important that she not become agitated.”
She stared over the doctor’s head, down the long hall. It wasn’t going to be much longer. That’s what she was hinting at. Wow, she’s short. The errant thought popped into her head. She needed to focus. And not on how she felt like a giant standing next to the petite doctor. “How long?”
Dr. King pressed her lips together. “Weeks, but that’s honestly optimistic. More likely a week.”
Denise took a shuddering breath. Fuck.