Things changed after our night at O’Neill’s. We took ourselves out of purgatory and lived for the moment. Whether it was right or wrong, neither of us cared anymore. We had spent two years apart because of Linc’s fear of losing me like he lost Savannah and neither of us wanted to waste another second.
The following day, Uncle Al arrived home and caught us kissing in the kitchen. For a fleeting second, I expected Linc to back away but, instead he pulled me onto his lap and made a big show of taking my mouth in front of my uncle. His reaction surprised us both as he simply asked Linc to pass the salt.
“You’re not going to raise hell?” Linc asked as I handed him the salt shaker.
“Can’t fight city hall, kid,” he said, salting his egg whites. “What’s right is right,” he said, lifting his fork. Pointing it at Linc, he narrowed his eyes.
“That being said, you fuck this up and I’ll break your legs all over again.”
With Uncle Al’s blessing, we didn’t hide the fact we were a couple. Linc told every brother that came to pick him up for therapy that I was his girl. Claiming me to his club earlier than he planned didn’t seem to bother him and I realized how badly I needed that honor. Something I forced myself to overlook in the past somehow completed our story now.
Linc spent his days transitioning from the walker to a cane and strengthening his body while I went to work at the garage. In the week that passed, I had seen more of the Knights than I had seen of Linc. I didn’t know what was going on and to be fair, I didn’t care to know either but, it was obvious the tension was mounting for everyone.
The men who I spent the night getting to know and laughing with looked beaten down and every time the black Maserati pulled into the lot, the man driving it delivered another bout of bad news. Uncle Al looked like he was on the brink of another massive heart attack and Jack Parrish no longer struggled to tame his crazy. Unleashing his insanity was becoming a daily occurrence and every day I wondered if he’d make it through without being committed.
None of this went unnoticed by Linc. Though he wasn’t around for most of the drama, he was kept in the loop and every night, after we fucked the tension out of him, he laid awake battling the demons dragging down the entire club.
I’d be lying if I said, I wasn’t concerned. Especially since we weren’t being careful. I don’t know how the decision came to be but, we both were aware of the risks and neither of us seemed to care. It was almost as if we made a conscience choice to try to have a baby without verbally doing so. And I do mean try. It wasn’t a slip up or a heat of the moment type of thing. Linc drove into me every night and there was determination etched across his face every time he came.
As much as I wanted to make all our dreams come true, I couldn’t help but fear the doom lurking over the club. Whatever was on the horizon for the Satan’s Knights didn’t just have the power to ruin mine and Linc’s relationship, it held the power to leave me a loner once again. It was hard not to acknowledge I could lose him again and this time it wouldn’t be because he walked away—that much I was sure of.
No, the only way I was losing Linc now was if he lost his life. As much as I know about the lifestyle in which we live and as much as I accept, I can’t help but fear it. I imagine I’m not the only woman living the life with a brother who feels this way and I can almost guarantee only the strongest of women survive it.
Vowing to be one of the strong ones, I didn’t flinch when Jack Parrish strutted into the garage and ordered me to take the day off. Something was going on that required all the attention of the club and Jack insisted Linc go to his scheduled appointments. Still unable to drive himself, Jack appointed me his driver.
I didn’t mind and after his grueling therapy session, I drove him to the hospital for his appointment with the surgeon that repaired the fractures in his legs. I stayed behind in the waiting room as he went in for x-rays and accompanied him into the exam room when the doctor went over the films.
Both sets of fractures were healing. The bones had fused together and, the calcium was building around the breaks. It would be a full year before they were considered a hundred percent healed, but the doctor praised him for his hard work and told him his legs were strong enough to bear all his weight. He didn’t want him overdoing it though and recommended he walked with a cane for another few weeks.
“When can I ride?” Linc asked, cutting the doctor off.
“It’s too risky,” the doctor commented, closing his chart. “The bones aren’t a hundred percent heeled. They’re very vulnerable and brittle. Should you take a fall, it’s very likely you’ll suffer another break and I fear it won’t be repairable this time.”
“So, you’re telling me I can’t ride until my bones are a hundred percent healed?”
“I don’t recommend it is what I’m saying,” he amends. “You can slip on a banana peel and break those same bones. The concern is that I won’t be able to surgically repair them again.”
It was obvious Linc wasn’t happy with what the doctor had said and when we left his office, he asked me for the keys to the truck.
“If I can’t ride, I’m going to fucking drive,” he growled.
I tried to talk to him, to make him understand the doctor had his best interest in mind but, he insisted it was fine, that Stryker had been letting him drive for over two weeks. He was frustrated and needed to release the tension in his body which led us to Xonerated.
Working out wasn’t my thing hence the reason I’m sitting in the car while he attacks the weights. In between listening to music and scouring Facebook, my phone starts ringing. I don’t know why I decide today should be the day I answer her call but, before I can think better of it, I accept the call.
“Hi, baby,” she croons into the phone. “I’ve been trying to get you for weeks.”
“Any particular reason?” I reply. The tone of my voice is sharp and cold.
“Well, I wanted to see how you were doing of course,” she says. I hear the flicker of her lighter and picture her blowing a billow of smoke. Sighing, I wait for her to elaborate knowing she doesn’t care how I’m doing.
“Right, well, I’m great,” I tell her. Glancing out the window, I spot Linc walking toward the truck. Sweat drips from his brow as he runs his fingers through his hair and rounds the front of the truck.
“I was also wondering if you happened to be in touch with your uncle since your little predicament.”
“You mean since I showed up at the clubhouse with two black eyes and you told me you didn’t want to get involved in my mess?”
“That’s not what I said is it?”
Linc slides into the truck next to me and leans over the console to press a sweaty kiss on my cheek. It isn’t usual for me not to respond to his touch and so, when I stare at him blankly, his brows knit together in confusion.
“That’s exactly what you said before telling me I should’ve gone to Shady and make him take care of my mess.”
Linc’s jaw ticks as I draw the phone away from my ear.
“My mother,” I explain, bringing the speaker back to my ear. “Look, I don’t have time for this.”
“He cut me off,” she blurts.
“Who?”
“Al,” she reveals. “Told me he was done supporting me because I failed you. Now, baby, I need you to call him up and tell him I patched things up between us.”
Trying to process her words, I stare at Linc wondering if he heard what she said too. My uncle has been cleaning up after my mother since my dad died. No matter what mess she seemed to get herself into, he was always there making it right, handing her envelopes of money so I never longed for anything. I never thought I’d see the day where he cut her off.
“Kelly?”
“I’m not going to do that,” I rasp. “He’s done so much for you and me over the years and you never so much as gave the man a lick of gratitude. Good, he cut you off. He should’ve done it years ago. Now, if that’s the only reason you called, I’m hanging up.”
“Kelly, don’t you dare,” she shrieks as I lower the phone. My thumb hovers over the end button for a second before I push down and end the call. I stare at the call history for a beat before deciding to turn the phone off altogether.
“You okay?” Linc questions, draping his arm across the back of my seat.
“I’m fine,” I murmur, lifting my gaze to his. “I guess I’m surprised. I never thought Uncle Al would turn his back on her.”
He doesn’t respond other than trail a hand down my arm. Finally, I take a deep breath and toss my phone into the glove box before turning to him.
“Anyway, do you feel better?” To lighten the mood, I ball my hands into fists and punch the air. “Work out all your frustration or whatever it is you do while you’re there?”
“For the most part,” he says with a smile. His eyes dart to my lips briefly before he finds my eyes again. “There was a class trip going on so, I have to go back in two hours to use the pool.”
At the mention of the pool, I turn my head and force a smile.
“Alright, well, I’m starving. Do you want to grab something to eat in the meantime? Then you can drop me off and come back.”
Taking my hand with one of his, he cups my chin with the other and forces my eyes back to him.
“I thought you’d come back with me.”
Shrugging my shoulders.
“Okay, if that’s what you want but, can we grab something to eat while we wait?”
He nods but doesn’t remove his hand from my chin.
“Kelly,” he whispers my name.
“Hmm?”
“Are you still afraid of the water?”
Unable to look away, I bite down on my lower lip. I’ve never had a reason to share my fear with anyone else which meant I didn’t have anyone pushing me to conquer it. Nodding my head, I reply because verbally admitting I’m afraid of drowning still sounds ridiculous to my own ears.
“Let me help you,” he pleads. “We’ll start off in the shallow end, get you familiar with the water and then when you’re ready I will teach you how to swim.”
I bite back my initial response of no and contemplate his offer. Right now, together, we’re spitting in the face of his own fear. We’re defying the rules he set for himself simply by being together. Every day he struggles to ignore the fear of losing me but, he chooses to focus on the commitment he’s made to love me.
It makes me wonder if I can find the same strength he has.
“I don’t have a bathing suit,” I say finally, watching his lips quirk.
“Then, we have two hours to get you something to eat and a bathing suit.”
“How deep is the pool?”
“It starts at three and a half feet and gradually goes to twelve feet.”
“Promise me we don’t go further than three and a half feet and you got yourself a deal,” I reply, drawing in a deep breath.
Love.
It makes you feel so invincible that you become fearless.
Until a ruthless villain instills the fear of God in you.
The villain you never saw coming.
The one you thought never knew your name.