CHAPTER 9
The next morning, Harden knocked on her door earlier than he had since they’d been at the ranch.
“Get up and put on some jeans and boots and a cotton shirt,” he called. “If you don’t have any, we’ll borrow some of Jo Ann’s for you—she’s about your size.”
“I’ve got some,” she called back. “What are you up to?”
“I’m going to teach you to ride. Come on down to the stables when you finish breakfast. I’ve got to go and get the men started.”
“Okay,” she called with silent glee. “I’d just love to learn how to ride!”
“Good. Hurry up, honey.”
His booted footsteps died away, and Miranda laughed delightedly as she dressed. Now that he was ready to accept the city girl he thought she was, it was time to let him in on the truth. It was, she anticipated, going to be delicious!
It was like going back in time for Miranda, who was right at home in jeans and boots and a red-checked cotton shirt. Harden met her at the stables, where he already had two horses saddled.
“You look cute,” he said, grinning at the ponytail. “Almost like a cowgirl.”
And you ain’t seen nothin’ yet, cowboy, she was thinking. “I’m glad I look the part,” she said brightly. “What do we do first?”
“First, you learn how to mount. Now, there’s nothing to be afraid of,” he assured her. “This is the gentlest horse on the place. I’ll lead you through the basics. Anyone can learn to ride. All you have to do is pay attention and do what I tell you.”
He made it sound as if she’d never seen a horse. Of course, he knew nothing about her past, but still, her pride began to sting as he went through those basics in a faintly condescending tone.
“The hardest part is getting on the horse,” he concluded. “But there’s nothing to it, once you know how. It’ll only take a minute to teach you the right way to do it.”
“Oh, I’d love to learn the right way to get on a horse!” she exclaimed with mock enthusiasm. “Uh, would you hold the reins a minute?” she asked with twinkling eyes.
“Sure.” He frowned as he took them. “What for?”
“You’ll see.” She walked away from him, trying not to double up with mischievous laughter as she thought about what she was going to do.
“Got him?” she called when she was several yards away.
“I’ve got him,” he said impatiently. “What in hell do you want me to do with him?”
“Just hold him, while I show you how I’ve been getting on horses.” She got her bearings and suddenly took off toward the horse at a dead run. She jumped, balanced briefly on her hands on the horse’s rump, and vaulted into the saddle as cleanly and neatly as she’d done it in rodeos years ago.
The look on Harden’s face was worth money. Evan had been standing nearby, and he saw it, too, but he didn’t look as if he trusted his eyes.
Miranda shook back her ponytail and laughed delightedly. “Gosh, you look strange,” she told Harden.
“You didn’t tell me you could do that!” he burst out.
She shrugged. “Nothing to it. I took first prizes in barrel racing back in South Dakota, and Dad used to say I was the best horseman he had on the place.”
“What place?” he asked explosively.
“His ranch,” she replied. She grinned at his shell-shocked expression. “Well, you’re the one who said I was a city girl, weren’t you?”
Harden’s face wavered and broke into the most beautiful smile she’d ever seen. His blue eyes beamed up at her with admiration and pride and something more, something soft and elusive.
“Full of surprises, aren’t you?” he asked, laying a lean hand on her thigh.
“I reckon I am,” she chuckled. “Got a hat I can borrow?”
“Here.” Evan tossed her one, barely concealing a chuckle. “My, my, they must have lots of horses in Chicago. You sure do look experienced at getting on them.”
“She’s a South Dakota ranch girl,” Harden told him dryly. “Nice of her to share that tidbit, wasn’t it?”
“Noting like the element of surprise,” Miranda said smugly, putting the oversize hat on. She glowered at Evan with it covering her ears. “If you’ll get me a handle, I can use it for an umbrella.”
Evan glared at her. “I do not have a big head.”
“Oh, no, of course not,” she agreed, flopping the hat back and forth on her head. She grinned at Evan.
“Okay,” Evan said. “I’ll relent enough to admit that you have a very small head.”
“How long have you been riding?” Harden asked her.
“Since I was three,” she confessed. “I still go riding in Chicago. I love horses.”
“Can you cut cattle?” he persisted.
“If you put me on a trained quarter horse, you bet,” she replied. “With all due respect, this rocking horse isn’t going to be much good in a herd of cattle.”
Harden chuckled. “No, he’s not. I’ll saddle Dusty for you. Then we’ll go work for a while.”
“Surprise, surprise,” Evan murmured as he joined his brother.
“The biggest hurdle of all was her city upbringing,” Harden said with pure glee. “And she turns out to be a cowgirl.”
“That lady’s one of a kind,” Evan mused. “Don’t lose her.”
“No chance. Not if I have to tie her to the bedpost.”
Evan gave him a dry look. “Kinky, are you?”
Harden glared at him and strode off into the barn.
* * *
For the next three days, Miranda discovered more in common with Harden than she’d ever imagined. But in the back of her mind, always, was the woman he’d loved and lost. He couldn’t be over her if he still held such a bitter grudge against his mother. While his heart was tangled up, he couldn’t love anyone else. And if he didn’t love her, their marriage would have very little chance of success.
She watched Harden work on one of the purebred mares in foal, fascinated by the tenderness with which he helped the mare through her ordeal. For all his faults, when the chips were down, he was the coolest, most compassionate man she’d ever known. In an emergency, he’d be a good man to have around.
“One more week,” he reminded her when he was through with the mare. “Then I’ll take the decision right out of your hands.”
“You can’t force me to marry you,” she said stubbornly.
His eyes ran down her body with possession and barely controlled desire. “Watch me.”
“I’d have to be out of my mind to marry you,” she exploded. “I couldn’t call my soul my own!”
He lifted his head and smiled at her arrogantly, his pale eyes glittery. “I’ll have you, all the same. And you’ll like it.”
“You arrogant, unprincipled, overbearing—”
“Save it up, honey,” he interrupted, jerking his hat down over one eyebrow. “I’ve got a man waiting on a cattle deal.”
He dropped a hard kiss on her open mouth and left her standing, fuming, behind him.
Harden had given her permission to ride any of his horses except an oversize, bad-tempered stallion named Rocket. Normally, she wouldn’t have gone against him. But he was acting like the Supreme Male, and she didn’t like it. She saddled the stallion and took him out, riding hell for leather until she and the horse were too tired to go any farther.
She paused to water him at a small stream, talking to him gently. His reputation was largely undeserved, because he was a gentle horse as long as he had a firm hand. In many ways, he and she were kindred spirits. She’d left behind her unbridled youth, and Tim had made her uncomfortable with her femininity. She’d felt like a thing during most of her marriage, a toy that Tim took off the shelf when he was bored. But with Harden, she felt wild and rebellious. He brought all her buried passions to the surface, and some of them were uncomfortable.
When she glanced at her watch, she was surprised to find how much time had elapsed since she’d taken Rocket out of the barn. At a guess, she was going to be in a lot of trouble when she got back.
Sure enough, Harden was marching around the front of the barn, a cigarette in his hand, his normally lazy stride converted into a quick, impatient pacing. Even the set of his head was dangerous.
Miranda got out of the saddle and led Rocket the rest of the way. Her jeans were splattered with mud, like her boots, and her yellow cotton shirt wasn’t much cleaner. Her hair, pinned up in a braid, was untidy. But her face was alive as never before, flushed with exhilaration, her gray eyes bright with challenge and excitement.
Harden turned and stiffened as she approached. Evan was nearby, probably to save her from him, she thought mischievously.
“Here,” she said, handing him the reins. She lifted her face, daring him. “Go ahead. Yell. Shout. Curse. Give me hell.”
His face was hard and his eyes were glittery, but he did none of those things. Unexpectedly he jerked her into his arms and stood holding her, a faint tremor in his lean, fit body as he held hers against it.
The action shocked her out of all resistance, because it told her graphically how worried he’d been. The shock of it took the edge off her temper, made her relax against him with pure delight.
“I forgot the time,” she said at his ear. “I didn’t do it on purpose.” She clung to him, her eyes closed. “I’m sorry you were worried.”
“How do you know I was?” he asked curtly.
She smiled into his warm neck. “I don’t know. But I do.” Her arms tightened. “Going to kiss me?” she whispered.
“I’d kiss you blind if my brother wasn’t standing ten feet away trying to look invisible. That being the case, it will have to wait.” He lifted his head. His face was paler than usual. “Monday, we’re getting married. I can’t take anymore. Either you marry me, or you get out of my life.”
She searched his eyes. It would be taking a huge chance. But she’d learned that they were pretty compatible, and she knew he was beginning to feel something besides physical attraction for her. At least, she hoped he was. They got along well together. She knew and enjoyed ranch life, so there wouldn’t be much adjustment in that quarter. Anyway, the alternative was going back to Chicago to live with her ghosts and try to live without Harden. She’d tried that once and failed. She wasn’t strong enough to try it again. She smiled up at him softly. “Monday, then,” she said quietly.
Harden hadn’t realized that he’d been holding his breath. He let it out slowly, feeling as if he’d just been handed the key to the world. He looked down at her. “Good enough. But just for the record, honey, if you ever, ever, get on that horse again without permission,” he said in a seething undertone, “I’ll feed him to you, tail first!”
She lifted her eyebrows. “You and whose army, buster?”
He grinned. He chuckled. He wrapped her up and gave her a bear hug, the first really affectionate gesture of their turbulent relationship.
* * *
They were married the following Monday. Miranda’s brother, Sam, gave her away, and Evan was best man.
Joan, Sam’s wife, managed to get a radiant Miranda alone long enough to find out how happy she really was.
“No more looking back,” Joan said softly. “Promise?”
“I promise,” Miranda replied with a smile. “Thank you. Did I ever just say thank you for all you and Sam have done for me over the years?”
“Twice a week, at least.” Joan laughed, and then she sobered. “He’s a tiger, that man,” she added, nodding toward Harden, who was standing with his brothers and Sam. “Are you sure?”
“I love him,” Miranda said simply.
Joan nodded. “Then it will be all right.”
But would it, Miranda wondered, when Harden didn’t love her.
“What a bunch,” Sam said with a grin as he joined them. He put an affectionate arm around his sister. “At least you’re no stranger to horses and ranch life,” he said. “You’ll fit right in here. Happy, kitten?”
“So happy,” she assured him with a hug.
“Well, Harden will take care of you,” he said. “No doubt about that. But,” he added with a level stare, “no more leaping on horses’ backs. I’m not sure your new husband’s nerves will take it!”
She laughed, delighted that Harden had shared that incident with Sam. It meant that he liked her, anyway. He wanted her, too, and she was nervous despite the intimacy they’d shared. She didn’t know if she was going to be enough for him.
Evan added his congratulations, along with the rest of the family. Theodora hugged her warmly and then looked with bitter hopelessness at Harden, who’d hardly spoken to her.
“He’ll get over it one day,” Miranda said hesitantly.
“Over the facts of his birth, maybe. Over Anita? I don’t think he ever will,” she added absently, oblivious to the shaken, tragic look that flashed briefly over Miranda’s features before she quickly composed them.
Suddenly aware of what she’d said, Theodora turned, flushing. “I can’t ever seem to say the right thing, can I?” she asked miserably. “I’m sorry, Miranda, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”
“You don’t need to apologize to me,” she told the older woman quietly. “I know he doesn’t love me. It’s all right. I’ll try to be a good wife, and there will be children.”
Theodora grimaced. Harden joined them, gathering Miranda with easy possessiveness under his arm to kiss her warmly.
“Hello, Mrs. Tremayne,” he said softly. “How goes it?”
“I’m fine. How about you?” she asked.
“I’ll be better when we get the reception out of the way. I had no idea we were related to so many people,” he chuckled. Then he glanced at Theodora, and the laughter faded. “Few of them are related to me, of course,” he added cuttingly.
Theodora didn’t react. Her sad eyes searched his. “Have a nice honeymoon, Harden. You, too, Miranda.” She turned and walked away, ignoring her son’s hostility.
Miranda looked up at him worriedly. “You can’t keep this up. You’re cutting her to pieces.”
His eyes narrowed. “Don’t interfere,” he cautioned quietly. “Theodora is my business.”
“I’m your wife,” she began.
“Yes. But that doesn’t make you my conscience. Let’s get this over with.” He took her arm and led her into the house, where the caterers were ready for the reception.
The reception was held at the ranch, but Theodora ran interference long enough for the newlyweds to get away.
Connal and Pepi showed up for the wedding, and Miranda found that she and Pepi were fast becoming friends. Connal reminded her a lot of Evan, except that he was leaner and younger. Pepi was an elf, a gentle creature with big eyes. She and Connal had little Jamie Ben Tremayne with them, and he warmed Miranda’s heart as he had the night they’d had supper with the rest of the family. But he made her ache for the child she’d lost. That, along with Theodora’s faux pas put the only dampers on the day for her, and she carried the faint sadness along on their honeymoon.
They’d decided that Cancun was the best place to go, because they both had a passion for archaeology, and some Mayan ruins were near the hotel they’d booked into. Now, as her memories came back to haunt her, she wished again that she’d waited just a little longer, that she hadn’t let Harden coax her into marriage so quickly.
What was done was done, though, and she had to make the best of it.
Harden had watched the joy go out of Miranda at the wedding, and he guessed that it was because of Connal and Pepi’s baby. He almost groaned out loud. He should have carried her off and eloped, as he’d threatened. Now it was too late, and she was buried in the grief of the past. As if to emphasize the somber mood that had invaded what should have been a happy time, it began to pour rain.