Chapter 27
Evie pressed her lips together and turned away. She hadn’t meant to speak of such things, especially to him. Yet, at the same time, she wanted him to know how much he had hurt her in the past and was still hurting her now. Why couldn’t he just let her alone? Why couldn’t he allow her the opportunity to find some peace in her life?
She glanced down at her hands clasped tightly in her lap and noticed the dirt beneath her nails. Wiping her palms over her gritty skirt, she cleared her throat. “I would like to use that tub before the water goes cold.”
Jeremy didn’t move, just continued to stare intently at her. Well, she must have shocked him then. Evie sighed. “I would like you to leave so I can bathe.”
He blinked and glanced over at the tub. “You will need help,” he said softly and faced her, his eyes gleaming with calculation and a hint of naughtiness.
Evie shook her head, trying hard to tamp down the excitement stabbing her middle. “I think not.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
He rose to his feet and walked to the door. Evie could breathe once again when he left the room. Well, then, she must have scared him off. Good riddance. She glanced over to the door as two maids entered the room to help her with her bath.
Refusing to acknowledge the pang of regret, Evie allowed the women to help her shed her clothes and get clean. They gasped at the sight of her bruised, swollen ankle and clucked around her like a couple of mother hens. After her hair and body had been scrubbed clean, the women assisted her into a soft, ivory nightgown and matching robe that had belonged to Phyllis.
They insisted on brushing her hair dry and wrapping her ankle before leaving the room. With a sigh, Evie sat in the chair before the fireplace and watched the flames leap and dive over the split oak logs. The warmth kissed her clean skin and she settled back against the cushion, trying not to think of a certain rogue who already filled too much of her thoughts. Her heart, too, if she were honest with herself.
The door opened and a footman scrambled about to remove the tub and bring forth a heavy tray heaping with carved ham, an assortment of cheeses, grapes, sliced bread, and a decanter of wine. She frowned at the two glasses. The footmen bowed out of the room, then Jeremy appeared in the doorway. From the damp ends of his hair and the dark blue dressing robe, he must have also bathed. Evie refused to feel glad to see him, but she could not stop her heart from picking up speed.
He shifted from foot to foot, an unusual look of uncertainty shadowing his eyes. “May I come in and join you?” He nodded toward the tray on the table beside her chair.
Evie opened her mouth to refuse. “Yes,” she said instead, as though her tongue had a mind of its own.
Jeremy stepped into the room, closed the door, then took the other chair. Without looking at her, he poured them each a glass of wine and made her a plate.
Nibbling on a plump, juicy red grape, Evie could tell something bothered Jeremy. He was too quiet. She took a sip of her wine. No doubt what she had told him earlier was the cause for his pensive mood. Perhaps his guilt had gotten to him. She had once thought Jeremy the most selfish and dishonorable person to have ever walked the Earth. But she had been wrong. The last month gave her a glimpse of another Jeremy. Perhaps, the real Jeremy?
Evie set aside her half-eaten plate, no longer hungry in the least.
The fire snapped, sending tiny yellow sparks up the chimney, and the bottom log broke in half, raising more flames up from the bed of red-orange coals beneath. “I can answer your questions, Evie,” Jeremy began softly, “but I am not at all certain you will believe me.”
She turned away from the heat of the fireplace. Jeremy was looking right at her, his face most serious. “What do you mean?” she asked.
His eyes dipped down for a moment and he drew his brows. “Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do. If I had known about the betrothal beforehand, I would have done things differently.” He shook his head. “I had already begun missions.” His gaze came back to hers. “And I wanted to find out who killed my father.”
Evie jerked back at his words. “What?”
He nodded. “If the killer found out I was looking for him, he would very well go after my wife. I could not risk that happening.”
Yes, it made sense. Too much sense. Knowing what she did about the Guardians now, she realized Jeremy’s predicament. If she had known then, would it have made a difference? Would she have still been hurt? Yes, although understanding the reasons for the broken betrothal were not because of her did help. He hadn’t rejected her and he couldn’t tell her the truth.
Evie glanced into his eyes and saw them haunted with regret, and that was when she realized he suffered as well. All these years, he had been living within his own hellish lie. Even as he showed the world a carefree rake on the outside, the real man within could not come out. He had to constantly wear a mask and could never speak about his troubles with friends. Not his real troubles, anyway.
She pressed her hand to her heart because it ached. Her suffering seemed trivial now. Jeremy had suffered, too. Perhaps even more. Yet, now her heart ached for a different reason. Not from the pain of the past. She hurt from the pain surely to come. The very reasons Jeremy broke their betrothal still existed.
Jeremy stirred on his seat, drawing her away from her thoughts. She watched him reach into his robe and pull out a small vial. The same one Amelia had given her. He placed it down between their wine glasses.
Evie glanced up. “What are you doing with that?”
He settled back in his chair and crossed his arms. Lifting a brow, he said, “Giving you the opportunity to learn the real reason I married you.” He stopped for a moment, then added, “I want you to know the truth, little bird.”
Her breath caught and her heart began to pound in thick, heavy thuds. She dropped her gaze to the vial, then back up to him. “Exactly how do you feel about me?” she whispered.
“Put the drops into my wine and I will tell you.”
Evie froze and could not look away from Jeremy, even if the whole house were to erupt in flames. “Tell me.” She licked her dry lips. “I will believe you.”
A glint of some strong emotion sprang to his eyes, then he shook his head slowly. “When I speak the words, I never want you to doubt them.” He sighed. “I have played too many games, lied every day, and lived the life of someone I no longer recognize.” Nodding to the vial, he added, “I want you to be absolutely certain what I say is the truth.”
Evie’s hand shook as she reached for the vial. She lifted the small glass and pinched off the cork. Noticing the last few drops on the bottom, she drew her brows. “You would waste the last of this potion?”
“It will not go to waste, Evie.”
He seemed determined to do this. She lifted the vial and poured the last five drops into his wine, then settled back into her chair.
With a satisfied smile, he raised the wine to his lips and downed the contents in a single gulp. She could see the flames of the fire dancing in his eyes as he stared at her. On the mantle, a clock ticked the seconds away. The fire roared, interrupted by an occasional pop and sizzle of the wood, followed by the snapping of sparks. Still, Evie could not look away from Jeremy. She wondered what he would say.
The way he stared at her, the way he had never looked at anyone, revealed something deep and powerful. Her heartbeats tripped over themselves as she absorbed what was happening between them. Should she dare hope?
When his tense shoulders relaxed and the dark pupils of his eyes extended farther out, Evie knew the potion had begun to work. He smiled a crooked smile and nodded. “Go ahead, ask me anything.”
Evie pursed her lips. “You called Freddy your uncle in the forest. Explain that.”
“Freddy and my father were brothers. Half-brothers. My grandmother remarried a lowly solicitor after my grandfather died and had Freddy. Father, fifteen years old at the time, did not approve of the marriage, but Grandmother loved Freddy and doted on him.”
She nodded and took a deep breath, ready to hear the truth. “When was the first time you learned of our betrothal?”
“The day after your seventeenth birthday, when your brother came to see me.”
So, he hadn’t known about the betrothal before joining the Guardians. She rubbed her palms down the soft material of her robe. Finally, she could be certain where she stood with Jeremy. No more guessing. No more trying to get passed his façade. She would hear the truth. “How did you feel about breaking our betrothal?”
His brows pressed together and he dropped his gaze down to his lap. “I hated doing that to you, Evie.”
Her mouth went dry. “Why did you marry me?”
Slowly, he looked up, his eyes aflame as they burned into hers. Then he rose up from his chair and knelt down before her without looking away. He took her hands into his warm ones. “I married you because I could not stand the thought of letting you go. Ever. I love you, Evie.”
She felt her lips part, heard her own gasp.
He squeezed her hands. “I hope you will be able to forgive me for what I have done to you. I never meant to hurt you, and if you will allow me, I would be pleased to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” He lifted her right hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss over her knuckles. “Please, say you will stay with me and be my wife.” He lifted her other hand and pressed a kiss. “I honestly do not think I could bear the thought of spending the rest of my life without you.” His eyes roved her face for several seconds then he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “I love you.”
Evie thought she would burst. Never had she been flooded with so much joy at once. It filled and consumed her. Light burned bright, even in the darkest corners of her heart. She reached for Jeremy and placed her lips over his, unable to quit smiling long enough for a proper kiss. Then she laughed. Sheer elation bubbling up her throat and tears pooled in her eyes. “It took you long enough,” she said, easing back to watch the love shine from his eyes. “When did you know?”
His lips twitched. “I think it was just after I stole that kiss from Helen of Troy.” He flashed a wolfish smile. “You ensnared me right then and there.”
She gave another laugh. “I wish you would have told me sooner.” She tried to give him a serious look. “I made all sorts of plans to live in France.”
Jeremy’s smile fled and he placed his palms against her cheeks. “You will just have to alter your plans, little bird, or prepare to have a husband come after you.”
“You would come after me?”
“Yes.” He lowered his head. “And bring you back to me.”
“What would you do then?” she whispered as he halted just above her lips.
Something flashed in his eyes. “How about I show you?”
Slowly, she nodded and he pulled her into his arms. His lips came down on hers and she opened to his long, sensual, deep strokes. Then he pressed kisses down passed her cheeks and nibbled on her earlobe. “You are delicious,” he whispered and kissed her neck while pulling the silk ivory tie that held her robe together. It fell off her shoulders and Evie closed her eyes and threw her head back when the nightgown slid down to her waist.
Jeremy continued to press kisses until finding her hard nipple. He suckled and drew it into his mouth, lavishing with his tongue, making her moan with longing for him to do more. But then he stopped and Evie opened her eyes. She looked at him as he stared hard at her, his eyes heavy and glistening with passion. His hands pulled away from her and fisted into twin white balls at his sides. “What?” she whispered, her voice ragged from need. “Why did you stop?”
“You don’t want me to stop?”
“No.”
His brows lowered. “You understand what that will mean.”
“What will it mean?”
“You are mine. Forever, Evie.”
Then she knew what he was asking. Slowly, just as he had done to her, she raised her hands and placed her palms against his cheeks. “I am yours for as long as you will have me, Jeremy.”
His eyes slid shut and he pressed his face farther into her hands. “Forever, then.”
“Forever, then,” she agreed. And when he opened his burning eyes back to her, she said, “I love you.”
He drew in a breath. “Oh, God, Evie. I love you, too.” Then he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers. “So damn much.”
And in a blink, Jeremy had her in his arms and was marching them toward the bed. He peeled her gown away and looked on her naked body with feverish eyes, then started to pull his own clothes from his body.
He had a beautiful body, tall and lithe, but muscular arms and legs. She grinned at his tall proud flesh, standing at the ready to pleasure her. “Come here,” she whispered and he took three steps forward. “Stop. Right there.”
He stood at the edge of the bed, looking down at her, perplexed at what she wanted him to do. Evie bit back a grin and trundled to him on her hands and knees, then opened her mouth wide and eased him in.
Cursing softly, Jeremy threw his head back and let her have her way with him. She drew him in and out, slowly, then rubbed her tongue along the length of him, feeling the protruding veins and ripples along the way. He groaned low in his throat and ploughed his fingers through her hair.
Then Evie felt him pull away. He eased down onto the bed and pulled her beside him. His heart hammered against her palm and his breaths were shallow and ragged. “Did I hurt you?” she asked, worried.
“God, no.” He pressed a kiss to her temple. “But I might hurt you, so I need a minute.”
She grinned against his warm skin, stretched tight against his chest. “The only thing making me hurt is this waiting.” She kissed his shoulder. “Come here, Jeremy.”
His lips split into a saucy half-smile. “At your service, Madam.”
Rolling on top of her, he covered her body with his. Evie liked the way he felt on her and wrapped her arms around his back. He teased her lips with kisses until she opened and then his tongue swept inside for deeper strokes that left her breathless. Need coiled tighter in her center. She stung and burned as his shaft lay pressed against her belly, not where she needed it at the moment.
Evie wiggled as the burning, stinging sensations grew unbearable. She couldn’t think straight. The need had her wrapped into a tight ball and she might just go to pieces if left unfulfilled. His deep, slow kisses did not help matters at all. They only served to remind her how the lower half needed what the upper half was getting.
Jeremy lifted his head, his lips spreading into a slow smile. “What do you need, Wife?”
She shifted her hips and groaned. “You know exactly what I need.”
A chuckle rumbled up his throat. “What is it?”
Evie feared she had created a monster. Now that they were discussing feelings and all that, it seemed Jeremy could not get enough of hearing what she felt for him. She went still and opened her eyes. “I need you.”
He snapped his brows together, now very serious. “For how long?”
“Forever.”
With glittering eyes, mirroring the intensity of his love, he slid into her. “Forever,” he repeated and rocked his hips in long, slow strokes.
Evie groaned as the tension intensified low in her stomach, and she tightened her hold on Jeremy, else she might fly away into the stars. And she felt like she did just do that a few minutes later, in tiny explosions that rocked her body.
Jeremy followed her with a long groan and lay over her, spent. Then he rolled to his side and pulled her close, showering her sweaty temple with tiny kisses. His hand found hers and he linked fingers.
She lay there, cozy and sated, happier than she ever thought possible. And in the hazy aftermath of such incredible lovemaking, something intruded. A nagging thought that would not go away. Evie tried to brush it aside and revel in a dream come true, that Jeremy loved her.
But once the worry interfered, she could not rid the thing. She sighed and held onto Jeremy’s hand for a minute longer before pulling away and raising up on her elbow.
His eyes opened a fraction and his lips turned up at the corners. “I will need just a bit longer, pet.”
Oh, how things were nearly perfect. She resisted a smile. “I know, but there is something I want to tell you.”
He ran a finger down the side of her face. “What is it?”
Evie shivered at the contact, but she needed this cleared up right away. “I would like to remain a Guardian.”