Stepping inside my house, I turned on the lights and let my eyes travel from the living room to the kitchen. Calmness washed over my body. I loved my house. It was built in 1898 and the most recent owners had moved out ten years ago and left it to fall apart. When I stumbled upon it for sale, it felt like we had something in common.
We’d been left alone and broken.
With the help of my father and a few friends, I had gutted and remodeled, bringing it back to life. In the process, it had brought me back as well. The entire first floor was open with the exception of the formal dining room and downstairs half bath.
Kicking off my shoes, I slowly made my way up the stairs. The second floor consisted of two guest bedrooms I’d yet to decorate, a guest bath, and the master suite. I walked into my bedroom and smiled.
It had been the first room in the house I’d painted and decorated. The calming tones of gray were evident all over the room, from the dark gray curtains to the lighter shade of gray on the walls. The custom chairs were the same color as the walls but finished out in a blue trim. The bedding was a mixture of blues and silver. At the time I picked the colors, I hadn’t even realized what I was doing. Now…now it all came back in one giant memory, seizing my heart and causing me to drop to the floor and bury my face in my hands.
“Some day when we get our own house, how do you want to decorate our bedroom?”
Steed laced his fingers with mine. “Well, you like the color blue, and I like gray. I think we should mix the two together.”
I nestled against his body and watched the Frio River meandering by as we sat in our favorite spot. “I like that. Maybe add in a touch of silver for some glam.”
The rumble in Steed’s chest made my body warm.
“It could be lime green and banana yellow for all I care. As long as I get to wake up in the morning holding you and kiss you every night.”
The ringing from my back pocket pulled me from the memory. Wiping my tears, I took my phone out.
Corina.
Hitting the button on the side of my phone, I sent it to voicemail. I needed to be alone so I could figure out my game plan.
I walked over to the large silver dresser and pulled open the top drawer. Pushing my clothes out of the way, I pulled out the black velvet bag that held the memories of my past with Steed. I clutched it to my chest while a new round of sobs shook my body.
Taking in a deep breath, I blew it out and waited for the kids to arrive. The first day of school was always stressful for both the kids and parents. But today I was the one stressing out.
It had been four days since I saw Steed. He never called, which didn’t surprise me. I hated that I even let myself get worked up over it.
I smiled when the first kids started walking in.
“Good morning! Moms and dads, give your goodbyes at the door and then boys and girls please go to your seats. There is a fun coloring activity waiting for you.” I repeated the greeting about every three minutes or so.
This was one of the hardest parts. Each year, I fought to hold my tears back as I watched parents hold onto their children. Their tears were hard to ignore as I fought to hold my own back.
Smile. Just keep smiling.
Walking around the classroom, I helped each student get started with their coloring project, waiting for the whole class to show up. My body tingled as I glanced up and saw Steed standing in the doorway with Chloe, but my heart broke when I saw she was crying. Throwing herself at Steed, he wrapped her in his arms and whispered something to her. She shook her head and squeezed him harder.
I normally never interrupted a parent and child on the first day, but I could see both of them were not dealing well at all. With a deep breath, I headed over. Chloe looked up at me. She dropped her hold on Steed and gave me a weak grin. Bending down, I came face to face with her. It wasn’t lost on me how close I was to Steed as well. My body could instantly feel his heat.
“Good morning, Chloe cat.”
Her eyes lit up at the nickname. I wasn’t sure why I called her that. I never gave my students nicknames.
“Is everything okay?” I asked as I wiped her tears.
“I’m afraid.” Chloe said between sobs.
Glancing at Steed, I could see this was killing him.
“It’s okay to be scared, Chloe. You’re not the only one who is nervous, but I promise you’re going to have so much fun today.”
Chloe tilted her head. “I’m just nervous? Not scared?”
I tittered. “Maybe a little of both.”
She turned to Steed. “Will you be okay today without me, Daddy?”
My heart stopped. How precious was she? And the look on Steed’s face left me breathless.
Steed took her hands in his. “I’m going to miss you, pumpkin, but I promise I’ll be okay.”
I stilled. That was the same pet name he had called me all those years ago.
He kissed the back of each of her hands. “Do the song, Daddy.”
Steed’s face turned white. “Um … we did it in the car, Chloe.”
Her little lip came out in a full-on pout, and I was positive she was about to lose it again.
Turning to Steed, I said, “I think today is such a special day that doing your song twice will make it extra special.”
Chloe nodded. We waited as Steed’s eyes bounced from me to Chloe. It was obvious he was nervous about this song of theirs.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he mumbled.
“Daddy, please!” Chloe begged.
He swallowed hard then softly started singing. “You and me.”
I prayed he hadn’t noticed the sharp intake of air I had sucked in.
Next, Chloe sang. “Me and You.”
“No one has to tell me who,” Steed sang.
“For you will always be my truuuuue.”
Steed’s eyes caught mine as he sang the last line. “Yes … you will always be my true … true … love.” He was singing so softly, I barely heard the words.
My eyes filled with tears as Steed stared at me.
“I love you, Daddy.”
Not removing his gaze from mine, Steed whispered, “I love you.” Turning to face Chloe, he cleared his throat and said, “I love you too. Have a good day, pumpkin.”
When I stood, I nearly lost my balance, causing Steed to take my arm to steady me. I felt the sting of electricity zip through my body and I knew he had felt it too by the way he reacted.
He was singing our song to his daughter. My hand went to my stomach as my dream of Steed singing that to our child flashed before my eyes. I fought to hold back my tears.
“Paxton,” he whispered with pleading eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ve sung it to her since the day she was born.”
I wanted to tell him it was okay. But it wasn’t okay. None of this was okay. Anger replaced whatever crazy emotion I was feeling right now. “You never called,” I said sharply. “This past week. You said you would call.”
Oh gosh. I sound like a silly wounded teenager.
He smiled. “I think you put the wrong number down on the packet.”
Pinching my brows together, I pulled my head back. What an excuse. “What? I don’t think so.”
“When I called the number, it was an older man by the name of Frank. He talked to me for nearly an hour before I was able to get off the phone.”
Oh no. Had I put the wrong number?
Steed took out his phone to show me.
Yep. I’d put the wrong number. I covered my mouth to hide my chuckle. “Crap,” I whispered.
“Ms. Monroe, should I go and sit at my seat?”
Pulling my eyes off of Steed, I glanced down at Chloe. “Give your daddy a quick hug goodbye and let’s get the fun started!”
She did just that before reaching up to take my hand in hers. She waved goodbye and Steed did the same. I walked Chloe to her desk.
“Well good morning my lovely kinders.”
“Good morning!” fifteen little voices cried out.
I walked up to my desk and leaned against it. “Today is going to be what I like to call fun day.”
“Will we never have fun after today?” a little boy named Timmy asked.
Laughing, I replied, “I hope we have fun every day, but today is an extra special fun day. We are going to learn all kinds of fun things. But first, we’re going to take a tour of the school and go see the library!”
Cheers erupted as I glimpsed past the kids to see Steed still standing, staring at Chloe. He must have felt my stare because he looked at me. Lifting my brow, he nodded and left before Chloe turned to see him still there.
Clapping my hands, I pushed off my desk. I was in my element. I loved teaching. I loved being with these kids and I would certainly love the distraction of keeping my mind off of Steed Parker.
“The first thing we’re going to learn is how to pay attention when the teacher is talking. I’m going to teach a song we’ll use when I need to get your full attention.”
I scanned all the adorable faces and stopped when I saw big blue eyes staring back into mine. She was the spitting image of her father.
So much for trying not to think of Steed. He’d conveniently left me a little reminder with blonde pigtails and bright eager eyes.