Chapter Twenty-Seven
Marissa
“You look like someone broke your favorite vibrator.”
My head snaps up in shock as Emma gazes over at me from across the yard. Her eyes are all knowing, yet filled with kindness and understanding. “I’m not quite sure what you mean,” I respond, wishing she’d just drop it and quit talking about vibrators. Why must my eighty-five-year-old aunt bring up one of those…things in front of everyone?
More importantly, why is she drawing attention toward me.
While talking about the vibrator.
“Of course you do. Your eyes are filled with sorrow.” Emma’s are gentle and speak volumes.
Before I can say anything, Meghan joins us. “He left without saying goodbye.”
“He did? That sexy karate master took the pogo stick before you could take one final hop around the yard?” Emma declares, again drawing more attention.
“Wow, that’s…graphic. There was no…yard hopping, Aunt Emma, and besides, we all knew he was leaving,” I say, shrugging my shoulders casually, yet feeling anything but. As much as I love and enjoy my family, I really just wish they would all leave already so I can wallow in peace. This fake smile and pretending I’m fine is exhausting.
Harper snorts. “Maybe no yard hopping, but I heard there was something freaky going on in the timber. Rumor has it Rhenn had bark embedded in his T-shirt and Riss had one of those big dopey smiles and smelled like sex.”
I gasp.
“Mom told me,” Harper shrugs. “Plus, Rhenn returned without a shirt, ‘claiming’ that Riss got something on hers and needed a new one. I’m sorry I missed that part.”
I stare wide-eyed at my not-so-innocent sister as she continues to tell all my secrets to my horny old aunt and my cousin.
“Spoog. It was definitely man juice on her shirt. When the volcano blows, that lava flies everywhere,” Emma adds, completely ignoring my silent pleas for mercy.
“Don’t say man juice,” Meghan chastises.
“Spoog isn’t much better,” Harper mumbles.
“Nut butter? Anyway, all I’m saying is that it’s messy. Just be glad you didn’t get it in your eye, dear. That happened to me once when we were driving out to Brian and Trisha’s house years ago. I couldn’t see for an hour.”
We all just stare at Emma, completely horrified at the very vivid picture she just painted. I’ll have nightmares for days…
“We’re ready,” Nick hollers, heading over to Rhenn’s truck. The truck that has been taunting me for the last several hours. It’s almost noon, but instead of eating together, they’ve opted to make a stop along the way.
“I’m riding with Nick, my love,” Uncle Orval says to Emma before placing a kiss on her cheek. “It was lovely to see you again, Marissa,” he adds, pulling me into a big hug.
“You too.”
“I’m sure you’re coming up for the Fourth of July, right?” Emma asks, giving me one of those looks that tells me there’s only one answer, and it isn’t no.
“I’m not sure yet. We’ll be open by then,” I answer, not really giving them a definite.
Emma steps forward and pulls me into her tiny arms. “He’s a man, honey, so let him have a bit of time to think about what he lost. They never catch on too quickly. Something tells me that if he’s half as miserable as you pretend not to be, he’ll be back. They always come back to the one they love.”
I stand there, stunned, and try to come up with a response. “Love? That’s not what this was.”
Liar.
At least it was for me.
“You sure?” she asks, offering me a wink. “I’ll see you on the Fourth.”
She gives no room for argument. Nodding, I watch as they walk away, hand in hand. He leads her to Meghan’s car and helps her inside before placing another kiss on her lips. I can’t help but sigh at the exchange. It’s comforting to know that some loves are forever, even if I have yet to find mine.
“They’re disgusting most of the time, but their love is genuine,” Meghan says beside me, watching her grandparents. Just then, Emma reaches out and grabs her husband’s rear before giving it a little pat.
“Relationship goals,” I state. “Well, maybe without the groping.”
“It was good to see you again,” Meghan says, pulling me into a hug. “He’s an idiot.” I don’t have to ask who she’s referring to.
I gaze up at her and shrug my shoulders. “His loss then, right?” I plaster on a smile, this one not as fake, and silently send a prayer to the man upstairs for sending us an extended family like this.
“That’s right,” she laughs, squeezing me one more time before walking toward her husband.
Nick helps her into the driver’s seat and, following suit with Orval, kisses his pregnant wife soundly. It isn’t until Emma in the seat beside her starts to hoot and holler that Nick finally pulls away, a wide smile on his face. Before he heads over to his best friend’s truck, he comes over and says goodbye to all of us. When he reaches me, he pulls me into a friendly hug. “Thank you.”
“For what?” I ask, completely stumped by his random statement.
Nick offers me a smile, and I can see exactly why his wife went all googly-eyed for her boss. “For changing him.” Nick places a kiss on my forehead and grips my upper arms. “He’ll be back.” Then, he offers me a wink and heads to the truck.
I wave as my family heads home, but it’s the sight of the truck that has my heart aching. It’s the last time I’ll see it in the driveway. The last time I’ll watch it head down the lane. When it reaches the end, the brake lights shining brightly in the trees, my heart cracks open and the tears start to fall. It rounds the corner, turning onto the road, and drives out of sight.
For the last time.
* * *
After a small dinner, it feels like the walls are closing in on me. Everywhere I look, I see Rhenn. In just a short amount of time, he wormed his way into my heart, embedding himself in my life. My tiny couch he used to sit on, looking like a giant. The two-seater table we’d have our breakfast at most mornings and dinner at in the evenings. The mixing bowls I used to make pancakes for what could possibly be the last time. There’s no way I’ll ever be able to make them again without thinking of him.
My bed.
I don’t even want to think about what it’s going to feel like tonight when I go to bed.
Alone.
Needing out of the house, I grab a lightweight sweater and slip on a pair of sandals. For mid-June, the air is brisk from a recent rain shower, the sky as dull and gloomy as my mood. I walk down the path, anxious to get away from my cottage. Too many memories.
But then, I reach the clearing and stare at the ocean.
The ocean that no longer houses a sailboat two hundred yards offshore.
A dock that is empty.
I kick off the sandals and walk through the sand. I used to love the way it felt between my toes, but now, it almost holds no joy. There’s no excitement, no newness. Only memories. I step onto the wooden dock and make my way to the end. Sitting on the edge, I let my feet dangle in the cool water, the chilly breeze whipping through my hair.
I can’t help it. I glance out to the vacant spot where his boat was once anchored. Memories of the boat, of our time together filter through my mind in rapid-fire sequence, each one ending with the way his blue eyes shined down at me when he gave me a smile. Not the smirk (even though I still secretly love it), but that genuine, open smile that made me fall in love with the man he hides. Not playboy, cocky Rhenn, but the real him. The sweet and sensitive guy who guards his heart, yet loves and protects his family and friends fiercely.
A lone tear slips from my eye as I stare off at the vast, empty space of water. It doesn’t take long before his friends follow and I’m crying for everything I’ve felt and lost. I want nothing more than to look back on our time together and smile, remembering fond memories of a wonderful experience, and do you know what? I will. Just not yet. Right now, my heart hurts too much to see the bright side of our brief affair.
I hear footsteps on the dock, but don’t turn to the sound. I already know who it is. Harper sits down beside me and doesn’t say a word. Instead, she reaches for my hand and holds it. Her gesture makes me cry even harder, resulting in being pulled into her arms. I cry on my sister’s shoulder, letting go of all the fun, the laughter, and the love I had felt, and letting the sadness take over. At least for a little while.
“I brought ice cream,” she says, my head resting on her shoulder.
I laugh through my tears. “Chocolate mint?”
“Is there any other flavor?”
“No,” I reply, sniffling and wiping away the remnants of tears. When I look at her, I see nothing but sadness and empathy in my sister’s eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Harper says.
“You should be.”
“Me? Why are you mad at me?” she asks, placing her own feet in the water.
“Have no-strings sex, she said. It’ll be fine, she said. Liar. You’re a liar.”
She’s quiet for a few moments before she finally speaks again. “The key to no-strings sex is that you’re not supposed to fall in love.” She glances my way again. “But you did, right? You fell in love.”
Her blue eyes shine back at me. Even though they’re the spitting image of our father’s, the deep color reminds me of another pair of blue eyes. “Yeah, I fell in love with him.”
She pulls a face, this one filled with pity and anguish. “I’m sorry, Marissa.” My sister pulls me into her arms once more. “He doesn’t know what he lost.”
Resting my head on her shoulder again, I stare off at the ocean. Our time together is over, but that’s okay. I’m going to be okay. With time, I’m going to be able to think about him without wanting to cry, without feeling like a piece of my soul died when I realized he was gone. I’ll be able to smile fondly when I picture him, much like the original plan.
Before I fell in love.
Before I knew what it truly felt like to have my heart broken.