You’d think a girl would sleep like a baby after the events of the day I had. Nope, not my luck. I ended up tossing and turning all night long. Memphis and the We-Vibe did their job making me squirm and holler out his name. I threw Lenny’s in there for good measure to keep the man on his toes.

I drifted off to sleep with the phone to my ear. It felt like I had slept all night long the next time I opened my eyes. To my dismay, it was a three-hour rest, and then I was restless. The throb between my legs meagerly satisfied from earlier, hungry for so much more. I’m so screwed. The sun peeks over the horizon, streaming through the blinds is a gentle reminder that yesterday had to be a dream. I roll over one more time facing the alarm clock, groaning at the early hours of the morning.

I come face-to-face with the We-Vibe. I smile because it’s the reminder that everything yesterday truly indeed happened. I breathe a sigh of relief and smile. It’s the first morning I can remember waking up with a bright smile and not one single worry rattling around. I study the door, recalling Iris standing there watching us. I grin like an evil bitch because that may be the highlight of my life to date. I’m not the type to gloat or brag, but in this case, I’m all about it. It’s looking like the good guys might win this time.

I drag myself out of bed and turn on the hot shower waiting for the steam to billow out. I’m sticking to the promise I made myself. A day alone with fresh air, an island breeze, and lots of stiff drinks will clear my mind. It’s what I need.

By the time I’m finished showering, have a light layer of makeup on, and a loose, messy bun on the top of my head, I’m surprised I haven’t heard from Brenna and Josi. They must’ve had a night to remember as well. It stings a bit they’re more obsessed with entertaining their vaginas than me. Then, on the other hand, it’s nice to have some time on my own. And maybe their absence is a blessing, giving me time to spend with Memphis.

Okay, that right there is going to be the challenge of the day. Not thinking, obsessing, and daydreaming about Memphis all day long. I slip into the bikini I bought for this trip. It’s a simple Robin Egg Blue bikini bordering on being too skimpy. It hugs all my curves. I turn and peek over my shoulder to check out my backside. All the assets are covered. I throw on the black cover-up and stick my tongue out in the mirror, feeling light and giddy. I never thought I’d be thankful that I got a Brazilian wax before the cruise.

I can’t think about it too long because it was that traumatizing. When the lady told me to get up on my hands and knees, I wanted to die but had already been assaulted enough to know there was no turning back. Walking through the mall with a sticky substance down in my panties was mortifying. My mind knew nobody else could tell what was going on underneath my shorts, but I swear there was a neon light blinking above my head shouting to the world I was a sticky mess.

I’ll stick to shaving from now on. Once was enough for me. I grab my oversized beach bag double-checking to make sure I have everything I need. Notebook, pen, towel, a bottle of water, and a light breakfast I ordered from room service.

“I’ll choose you, teal Sanuks,” I say to the shoes.

They’re my obsession, and you bet your ass they’re high roller sandals. With my sunglasses on my head, I open the door to find a note that had been pushed halfway underneath the door.

“Jesus, his writing is hot as hell,” I whisper to myself.

It’s the same block lettering from his other gift. Bold and sexy, making me want to lick each letter.

Raylan,

Did you get that bikini on sale?

Because in my room it’s one hundred percent off.

See you at six tonight! You better be ready after the torture you put me through last night.

Memphis Love

My heart stutters when I don’t run into Memphis in the hallway. Part of me was hoping I would because I would crack and spend the entire day with him. I’m regretting the dumb decision now. I was trying to be brave and not fall into Memphis, but after today it’s on because the fact is our days are limited. We have so much to learn about each other, especially exploring each other’s bodies.

The sun is shining bright, forcing me to pull down my aviators from the top of my head. People are already everywhere on the deck bustling around. This is my first cruise and today is the first time I have the cruisin’ vibe. It feels damn good. People from all different walks of life are enjoying family, friends, sun, and relaxation. It’s something I could get used to.

“Watch where you’re going, baby.”

I whip my head to the sound of the voice. Memphis. He’s leaning against a rail, two coffees, one in each hand. Loose board shorts, a tank, and those rich brown eyes covered by aviators. The sexiest part of the whole scene in front of me is how he has his ankles crossed and is so relaxed. I could climb him right now.

“Stalker, much?” I grab the cup of coffee he holds out.

“Just upping my game with this girl playing hard to get.” He pushes off the rail, pulling me into him with his free hand.

The touch and the way he holds me is brightening my day.

“Thanks for the coffee and the note.”

Memphis leans down, pressing his lips into mine. The combination of mint and hint of rich coffee assault my mouth. I open up to him hoping for more than a quick peck on the lips, and he delivers more than I could’ve ever expected. Using his tongue, Memphis takes his time exploring my mouth. It’s different from our other shared kisses. Those were frenzied, rushed, and fueled with passion, not to mention in private.

The bustle of fellow cruise goers surrounds us, but it doesn’t make a difference. So cliché, but it does happen in real life, my knees go weak, and I wobble in his arms. Warm coffee from my cup topples over, running down my hand and arm. Memphis picks up on it and pulls back. His stare is as intense as the passionate kiss we shared. We remain silent for a long time studying each other’s face.

It’s a brutal reminder of the limited time we have together. I can’t bring myself to think about what’s after the cruise. What happens to me after I give this man my body, heart, and time? We walk away from each other? There’s no way I can up and walk away from everything I’ve worked my ass off for. It’s more than the belongings; it’s a sign of me beating the system and my haven that quells of anxiety attacks. It’s my home. The options for the future are bleak. I guess that’s what they always are in a love fling. It’s a for now type deal. My mood and happiness morph from elated to zilch in a matter of seconds.

Memphis’s thumb runs circles on the pad of my cheek. “Quit overthinking, Sunshine.”

“How did you know?” I ask, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips.

“The happiness dancing in your emerald green eyes vanished, and now all I see is worry.”

“Where do you live?” I ask, kissing his jawline.

“Preston, California, but I’m going to travel the world after this cruise,” he replies.

“Marshalltown, Iowa.”

I don’t miss the way his face falls. The first obstacle facing us dead on is making my reservations more relevant. It might not be that big of a deal if we didn’t have the Golden Girls already in our past. Shit, I still have to work through all that shit, too. Just because he broke it off and apologized for last night doesn’t mean it all gets erased. Was he with her yesterday before or after he was with me?

Memphis begins laying gentle kisses on my jawline. He takes his time covering every inch. He stops at the shell of my ear, dragging his tongue up and down it. It sends chills from the base of my spine to the tip of my toes. My insides clench when he begins whispering.

“We can enjoy this cruise together. Experience new things while discovering each other. Neither of us can predict what our future holds, so it’s not worth running from it.”

“I’ll get attached, Memphis. I’ll be in Iowa and you in California.”

“What if this is something we shouldn’t walk away from? I wouldn’t want to regret something like that for the rest of my life.”

“Yeah.” I nod, feeling his nose run up and down the outside of my neck. “And when you break my heart?”

He stills and doesn’t answer for a long time. This right here is my biggest reservation because deep down I know I’m falling in love with him. Instant love does exist and to those who don’t believe it can take their negativity and shove it up their ass sideways. We are walking proof of it. It’s a leap in head first or walk away call. The shitty part is my head and heart has decided for me. It’s the lingering question of how I will handle it when we part ways.

“I’m worried about my heart, Sunshine.” He pulls his head up and kisses me. There’s no tongue or much movement. We remain lip to lip for several beats. I soak it all in. It’s now or never. True or false. Fifty-fifty chance here.

We pull apart. Memphis takes a step back and brushes his hand through his messy coppery hair. I’m learning it’s the way he styles it or gets out of bed with it like that. Knowing Memphis and how effortlessly everything is around him, I’m guessing it’s like that when he wakes up.

“I had to step back or I wouldn’t let you go.” He grins then takes a long drink of his coffee.

I peer down to mine to see more sloshed out than I thought.

“Hey, sexy.” A voice breaks into our conversation.

An employee walks past us. She’s far from Memphis’s norm, so I know she’s not a client or anything of the sorts. She’s old enough to be a grandma to a grandma. Salt and pepper hair, not even five feet all, and she walks with a slight limp

“You ready for another show, good lookin’?”

“Willing and ready.” She’s slowed her pace to finish her conversation with Memphis.

He takes a step back and turns his back to her. He wiggles his ass, bends over, staying there for a few seconds, and then stands back up. I have a death grip on my coffee cup, surprised it doesn’t combust in my hands as Memphis proceeds to gyrate his hips. The man has moves like make your panties wet moves.

“Atta’, boy.” The woman waves and carries on like what happened is a normal occurrence.

Memphis gives me shy smile. I didn’t think the man had it in him to get embarrassed.

“Who was that?”

“Crotchety Carla?”

I raise my eyebrows, encouraging him to go on.

“She’s my side piece.” He laughs at his own joke. “Too soon?”

I sucker punch him in the abs and glare at him.

“Okay, okay. She sold me the candy and cigarettes last night. We bonded over my ass.”

“Go on.”

“I could tell she was having a bad day so I brightened it with my ass.”

“Bare and you smoke?”

“Jesus, no not bare, Raylan. I smoke when I’m pissed.”

I hide my smile behind my coffee cup, too entertained by this story. “Looks like you made a friend for life.”

“Yeah, she’s a cool cat.” He shrugs, taking a drink of his coffee.

“So, how do you take your coffee?” I ask him, deciding if we are doing this then we better find out every single detail about one another, or as much as we can.

“Two sugars no creamer.”

“Nasty.” I shake my head. “I hope that’s not in here.”

I know it isn’t by the color of liquid on my hand.

“I went the safe route and got some girly shit for you.”

I press the edge of the cup to my lips, staring at him, never breaking eye contact. He gives me full on smolder. Does the man ever stop? The sweetness hits my lips, and he outdid himself for sure.

“A white chocolate mocha. Perfect, but next time make it a skinny.”

“Like hell, I will.” He looks as if someone slapped his puppy. “That ass of yours is perfect. Hell, I bet those tits are, too, but I wouldn’t know.”

“Soon enough, Love, soon enough.”

An unwelcome voice pours ice water down my spine. I shudder and squeeze my eyes shut. Just because he broke it off or quit his job doesn’t mean Iris would disappear. I had hoped she sure would, but not my luck. Memphis and I both whip our heads in her direction. Iris is in a designer swimsuit cover-up with delicate gems scattered throughout, paired with another designer pair of heels and windshields for sunglasses. Designer I’m sure from head to toe. To me, it looks like she stumbled into a vat of ugly with a side of tacky.

My jaw drops wide open when I see she already has another man on her arm. And not one her age either. He may be younger than Memphis and my God he’s built, tanned, and has a model face. Did she pull him out of her suitcase?

I’m shocked Iris doesn’t give us a sideways glare when she struts past us. The man gives Memphis a chin jerk. “Hey, man.”

“Hey,” Memphis manages to get out.

Then they’re off the boat set to explore the island. I’m left whirling in my thoughts of what the hell just happened. I have to be trapped in a third dimension somewhere because nothing adds up.

“You know him?” I point at their fading backs.

Memphis grabs the back of his neck, gripping it with all of his strength. My warning that I’m not going to like his answer.

“Truth,” I warn him.

“Iris brought him in to punish me. Made me watch them go at it. The thing was it wasn’t close to punishment, but more of a reward.”

“Oh.” I snap my mouth shut with a lead ball in my stomach. “I’m going to go.”

He nods his head, biting down on his bottom lip. Moments earlier, I was ready to grab his hand and drag him off the boat. We’d spend the day together asking hundreds of questions, learning about each other and then finish off the night in one of our cabin’s making love. I’m back to plan one. I need some time to digest everything going on around me before it swallows me whole.

“Bye, Memphis.” I turn and begin walking toward the exit of the ship.

“Sunshine!” he hollers out, making my heart squeeze. It’s cheesy, and we both know it, but also unique and special between us. No one has ever called me their Little Ray of Sunshine.

I turn back to see him standing there, gripping his coffee, and shielding his eyes even though he’s wearing sunglasses. “Tonight at six?”

I nod unable to answer. He gives me a thumbs up and a weak smile. I spin and force myself to walk away. Each step is heavy and not welcomed at all. If it’s hard to walk away from him now, then how in the hell will I ever be able to do it at the end of the cruise? Memphis seems as perplexed as I am when it comes to answering questions about what after the cruise.