~Joy~
“I can’t even wear my engagement ring,” I say to my doctor. “My fingers are too swollen. I’ve been nauseated off and on for more than a month.”
“And you’re just now coming to see me?” she asks with a scowl.
“The flu has made the rounds through my clinic, and I assume I’m still getting over that.”
“Not a month later,” she says, shaking her head. “Are you dizzy?”
“No.”
“Diarrhea?”
“Thankfully, no. I am achy. Especially in my hips.”
She looks up at me and narrows her eyes. “First things first, I’m going to have you pee in a cup. We’ll take a look at things, and then if I think we need a blood test, we’ll do that. I have a hunch on something.”
“On what?”
“Just pee in the cup, and I’ll be back in a few. The bathroom is around the corner.”
She takes her laptop out of the room, points at the bathroom, and leaves me to my own devices.
I finally had to break down and come to the doctor. My hips are killing me. I can’t lay on my back at all anymore, and I am constantly shifting in my sleep, trying to find a comfortable position.
The nausea comes in waves now. Some days, I’m completely fine. Other days, I can’t keep anything down.
It’s ridiculously frustrating.
I do my business, write my name on the cup, and put it in the mysterious two-sided door, then wash my hands and return to the exam room.
Less than ten minutes later, Dr. Nixon returns with a smile on her pretty face.
“It’s just as I suspected.”
“I have malaria.”
She laughs and shakes her head. “No, you’re pregnant.”
I blink at her, sure I’ve misheard her.
“I have the flu?”
“Pregnant,” she repeats, enunciating each syllable. “You, my friend, are going to have a baby.”
I squint my eyes at her, blinking as if I don’t understand the words coming out of her mouth. “A baby.”
“A baby,” she confirms with a nod. “Now, let’s do an ultrasound and find out how far along you are.”
“An ultrasound.”
“Are you just going to repeat everything I say?”
I nod slowly. “Yeah, I think I am because I am not having a baby.”
“Your pregnancy test was positive,” she says gently. “I take it you’ve not been trying to get pregnant.”
“Well, now that I think about it, I haven’t been trying not to get pregnant. We were great about protection in the beginning and then it just sort of fizzled out. I’m a horrible person.”
“Is he in the picture for the long haul?”
I hold up my hand, then remember that I can’t wear my ring right now because of my fat sausage fingers. “Yes. He proposed a month ago.”
“Well, congratulations,” she says as her nurse rolls an ultrasound machine into the room. I remove my pants, not shy enough to need them to leave the room, and lie back on the table, my feet in the stirrups.
This is a vaginal ultrasound, so it’s not particularly comfortable, but with some maneuvering, Dr. Nixon smiles and points to a black blob on the screen. “There it is.”
“It’s tiny.”
“I’d say you’re about eight weeks along.”
I frown. “We were still using condoms then.”
“They don’t always work,” she says with a shrug. “I see more than my share of women who swear they used condoms.”
“Well, that feels like false advertising on the condoms’ behalf,” I reply, my eyes glued to the screen. “Is that . . . ?”
“Yep, that’s a heartbeat.” She pushes buttons and moves the wand again. The blip moves in and out of sight, but the heartbeat is strong and steady. “It looks to me like things are healthy, and right where they should be. You’ll need to make an appointment with your OB, of course.”
“Of course,” I mutter, still shocked. The doctor removes the wand and backs away.
“You can get dressed. I can prescribe some anti-nausea meds for you for the bad days, but this should pass in another month or so.”
“Thanks,” I reply.
“Let me know if you need anything. Congrats again.”
She pats my shoulder, and then she’s gone. I clean myself up and get dressed, check out at the front desk, and hurry out to my car where I sit and stare at the cars driving back and forth on the road in front of me.
I’m going to have a baby.
Holy shit.
My first reaction is happiness. A baby is something to be excited about. But I also feel nervous and worried.
I have reservations about Jace. Are we even getting married at this point? I haven’t seen him since the night he slipped into my bed. He left before I woke up the next morning. I’ve received exactly one call and three texts since then.
It’s been a month since he went back to work. I knew he’d be busy. I knew.
But I also believed him when he said he’d make me a priority.
So, I don’t know what’s going to happen, and it makes my heart ache.
I reach for my phone and dial Jace, hoping that a miracle will happen and he’ll answer. I know one thing for sure, I have to talk to him.
“Hey,” he says, his smooth voice coming through the phone.
“Wow, I caught you.”
“I know. I’m sorry, Joy.”
All he does is apologize these days.
“I’d really love to see you,” I say, unable to hide the desperation in my voice. “Jace, I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
“You have impeccable timing,” he says. “I’m getting out of here by four. Let’s have dinner. I’ll pick you up and take you to the Palomino.”
“That actually sounds really good,” I reply, relief pouring through me. We can have dinner at our favorite place, and I can tell him about the baby.
“Great, I’ll come to your place at five. That’ll give me time to swing by home and clean up.”
“Perfect. I’ll see you soon. And, Jace, if you stand me up, so help me God—”
“I won’t,” he assures me. “I’m going to see you in exactly two hours and thirty-four minutes.”
“Okay. Love you.”
“I love you, too, sweetheart.”
I hang up and drive home, hope blooming in my heart for the first time in a while. I don’t even feel sick to my stomach, which is a blessing in and of itself.
Everything is going to be okay. This baby isn’t a horrible thing. Jace told me when he proposed that he wants a family, and we’re both established in our careers, at the perfect time to add a little human.
We’re going to make it work.
The house is quiet when I walk inside. It’s been particularly quiet since I found all six of Angela’s puppies new homes. It wasn’t easy to say goodbye, but they each have wonderful families to love them. And, I think Angela is relieved, too.
She greets me at the door, whining with happiness to see me.
“Hi, special girl.” I kiss the top of her snout. “Jace is coming to get me soon. You have to come help me decide what to wear. That’s right, come on.”
We climb the stairs to my bedroom, and I open the closet. I want to look nice. Scratch that. I want to blow him the fuck away.
Remind him what he’s been missing out on.
With a decisive nod, I pull a shift dress out that will look great with a belt. It has long sleeves, appropriate for the fall weather, but if I leave a button undone, I can show off a little cleavage.
Perfect.
After taking the time to relax in a bath, wash my hair, and then buff and polish myself into something that resembles sexy, it’s five-oh-five, and Jace isn’t here.
I scowl at the time on my phone, and it coincidentally rings.
“Hello.”
“Babe, I’m so sorry. I’m not cancelling, I just got hung up on an emergency. Go ahead and go to the restaurant. I’ll meet you there.”
“Jace.”
“I swear, I’ll meet you there in just a little while. Get a glass of wine and save me a seat. I’ll see you soon, and I’ll make it up to you.”
“Trust me, you’ll be making it up to me.”
“In spades,” he promises. “See you soon.”
I blow out a breath and look over at Carl, who stares at me with narrowed eyes.
“I know, he’s in trouble.”
He continues staring at me.
“Stop judging me. He’ll make it up to me.”
I grab my handbag and keys and leave for the restaurant. I’m a good thirty minutes away with traffic, and once I park and walk inside, it’s almost an hour after I left my house.
Surely, he’ll be right behind me.
“More sparkling water?” the waiter asks me two hours later. I’m in the middle of eating my steak and potatoes. I finally decided to go ahead and order some food since I was here and starving.
But Jace hasn’t shown.
“Please,” I say with a nod.
“Dr. Thompson?”
I glance up and smile at Alec, the owner of the sock-eating Great Dane.
“Hi, Alec.”
“I thought that was you. Are you waiting for someone, or can I sit and chat for a minute?”
“Please,” I say, gesturing to Jace’s empty seat, burying my fury so I don’t take it out on an innocent bystander. “What are you up to?”
“I’m here with my parents and sister, celebrating my dad’s birthday, but I saw you sitting here on my way back from the restroom. Do you come here by yourself often?”
“No, actually. I was supposed to meet someone, but they got hung up, and I was hungry.”
“I see.” He nods. “Well, you look lovely.”
“Thank you.” I smile, enjoying the company and the compliment. “So do you.”
Alec is a handsome man, with jet-black hair, brown eyes, and an athletic body. He’s tall, and he’s always been kind to me.
“How is the dog?” I ask and take a bite of my steak.
“She’s good,” he replies with a chuckle. “She’s stopped eating socks and is slowly starting to calm down a bit.”
“I’m glad. I think she’ll be a great dog once she outgrows her puppyhood.”
“You’re right. And the kids adore her.”
“Are they with you tonight?”
A shadow drifts over his face. “No. Their mom wouldn’t let me bring them tonight because it’s not my scheduled time with them.”
“Divorce sucks,” I say with a cringe, and I inwardly hope against hope that this won’t be Jace and me someday, fighting over custody and when each of us gets to see our child. “It’s not getting any better with time?”
“No,” he says, shaking his head. “And it doesn’t help that she started dating someone else. I think she thinks that she and this new guy can pick up where our family left off, and just squeeze me right out of the picture.”
“Oh, Alec, I’m sure that’s not the case.”
“Feels that way,” he says with a sigh.
“This new guy is shiny and new,” I reply reasonably. “Of course, she’s preoccupied with him. But she shouldn’t try to use him as an excuse for you to not see your children.”
“It’s something different all the time,” he says. “Tim wants to take us to Portland for the weekend. Tim wants to take us all to the movies. Tim this and Tim that.”
Alec rolls his eyes.
“You might have to call your lawyer,” I suggest. “I know it’s expensive and no one likes going that route, but you have the right to be with your kids.”
“I’ve already made the call,” he says. “You know, I never would have thought we’d be here. We were as in love as anyone, with a happy family. A nice home. Good careers. And then, out of the blue, bam. She’s unhappy and wants out. Just like that. No explanation. Just wants out.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry. I’ve just taken up a good portion of your evening bitching about my ex-wife.”
“Well, I wasn’t doing anything else, and you helped take my mind off of my own problems.”
“What’s going on with you?”
I sigh, wondering where to begin. I can’t tell him about the baby. I haven’t even told my family about that yet.
Hell, I haven’t even told Jace.
“Let’s just say that relationships are complicated.”
“I hear you,” he says with a nod. “You know, we were just wrapping up dinner. I’d love to take you out for dessert.”
Before I can reply, I hear, “She won’t be going anywhere with you.”
My head whips around, and I find a very angry Jace standing behind me.
“Looks like your friend is here,” Alec says and winks at me before nodding at Jace and respectfully walking away.
Alec is a good guy. If I weren’t ridiculously in love with Jace, I’d consider dating him.
“Hello,” I say as Jace takes his seat and glares at me from across the table. I open the check that I’ve already paid, put my card away, and sign the credit card slip, all without saying another word to the man sitting across from me.
“That’s it?” he asks.
“That’s it,” I confirm as I drink the last of my water.
“Where is your engagement ring?” His lips are tight, his eyes shooting daggers, and I want to laugh. Maybe it’s hormones, but I don’t want to cry or rage at him. I don’t want to slap him as much as I did just minutes ago.
No, I want to laugh my ass off from the sheer absurdity of it all.
“It’s at home,” I reply, not taking my eyes off of his. I’m practically daring him to start something here in this restaurant.
“Were you planning on breaking up with me tonight?” he asks, and all I can do is roll my eyes.
Jesus, I don’t need this from him. I don’t need the jealousy, his insecurity.
If anyone should be feeling insecure here, it’s me.
So, I do the adult thing, and rather than start a big knock-down, drag-out here in my favorite restaurant, I grab my purse, stand, and walk out of the building.