Chapter Five
Ryn
As soon as I walk into the house I can hear the giggles of my sweet girl, along with the cartoons on the television. I find both Jessi and Roxie sitting in the living room, watching something on the flat screen, both lost in the world in front of them.
“Hey, girls,” I say, causing them both to turn around and offer me bright smiles.
“Mommy!” Roxie leaps up, running toward me, slamming into me and wrapping her small arms around my waist. Her bubblegum-scented shampoo fills my nostrils, taking the dregs of Slade’s spicy cologne with it.
“Ms. Callan.” Jessi smiles as she rises, clearing the plates from the floor. “I’ve made a very basic dinner, some fish fingers, mashed potato and salad. I wasn’t sure how late you’d run at work.”
“That’s fine, thank you for staying.” I nod, releasing my daughter and following my babysitter to the kitchen. “There was a late appointment and I needed to finish up his tattoo.”
“Oooh! Him? Was he hot?” She giggles. Jessi is nineteen, beautiful, with long, dark hair; her big hazel eyes are perfectly suited to her lightly tanned skin.
“To be honest, yes. He’s very handsome, but he’s bad news.” I grab a plate from the cabinet, making my way to the stove where I spoon some potatoes from the glass dish that Jessi had ensured stayed warm.
“What makes you say that?” Her question stills me. I’ve heard stories of Slade’s conquests. The fact that every night he’s seen with a different woman.
“I’ve heard stories,” I tell her, filling my plate with food, settling myself at the small kitchen table. When she joins me, her inquisitive gaze pins me and I wait for her questions about my own past, or why I’d believe stories from others. And honestly, I don’t know. I’d never really seen Slade behaving like that with my own eyes. But the way I reacted to him tonight was all the evidence I need to steer clear of him. It’s not only my heart on the line, but my daughter’s too.
“Well, I’m no expert on men, or love, but I think that listening to stories might not be the best idea. Who knows how much of it is made up and how much actually is true.”
“You’re right, but I need to think of Roxie. Also, I doubt he’d want a twenty-four-year-old woman who’s got a five-year-old. Most men don’t want to be burdened with the responsibility of a child that isn’t their own.”
“How do you know if you don’t give him a chance? If there’s one thing I learned after my mom left, it’s that you need to let others make their own choices. Give them the truth and if they walk away, then so be it. If they decide to stay, then you know it’s real because it was their choosing. My dad always said that.”
For a young girl barely out of school, Jessi is too wise for her own good. Nodding, I swallow the food in my mouth. It passes the lump of sadness in my throat. I let my past hurts cloud my judgment, that much is true.
Maybe Slade isn’t as bad as I thought, but I can’t allow myself to fall into the same situation as I did with Trent. He hurt me more than any man ever has, or ever will.
* * *
Once Jessi leaves, I finish up my dinner and head into the living room to find Roxie passed out on the sofa, hugging her bright blue bunny. Over the years she’s become attached to the little stuffed toy, and can’t fall asleep without it beside her.
Sighing, I scoop her up and carry her to her bedroom, setting her on the bed. Even with the jostling, she doesn’t wake up; instead, she curls into a tiny ball. Once she’s covered, I make my way out to the living room and flop onto the sofa. It’s been a long day, but my mind is racing with the memory of Slade. His smooth skin, the way his abs tensed when the needle pressed against his flesh. The scent of his cologne and the way his lips quirked in amusement at our banter.
But more than that, I can’t stop thinking about how his fingers felt inside me. The memory of how he urged my orgasm from me and I let go. It felt good to feel again. To have another emotion besides being a mother.
I have to be honest, I enjoyed it. I haven’t had a date in over three years. I tried dating when Roxie was younger, but as soon as the guy found out I had her, he’d run a mile, never bothering to call again. In the end, I gave up on the whole dating scene and focused on my daughter. My eyes flutter as the television shuts itself off and sleep steals me away to dreams of a man with inked skin, big hazel eyes, and a smile that I know will grip my heart.
* * *
When I open my eyes, I find my phone and swipe the screen. Not even six yet. I need to get up and start my day, but when I roll over I find Roxie curled up behind me. Asleep, she’s the picture of innocence, but there’s a naughty side to her that I can’t deny.
My sweet girl.
My heart used to ache for her, not having a father, but I didn’t have a dad either and I turned out just fine.
But as a parent, you want your kids to have what you didn’t. However, even thinking of Slade Maddox in that role causes me to shudder. The man is a playboy. And that is definitely not the kind of person I want near my daughter.
Even though only a night has passed, my mind is still right there in my studio with his fingers inside me. I inked him and every inch of his tanned, toned torso haunts me. The way that damn compass moved with every press of the needle is ingrained in my mind. And even though I know it will never work between us, I can’t help but wonder what if.
His touch ignited emotions that I’ve long since allowed to fizzle to nothing. My heart thumps at the images of his deep hazel eyes piercing me, challenging me and I feel as if I want to give in. I want to relinquish control to someone for a little while and enjoy being young.
Rolling over, I press a kiss on my baby girl’s forehead. “Honey,” I whisper, hoping to wake her up so we won’t be late, but all I get is a soft snore. “RoxieBear,” I murmur in her ear. This time I get a giggle and I know she’s awake. “Come on, we’re going to be late.”
A groan greets me, and I laugh, heading for the kitchen. My phone rings from the bedroom, but before I have time to get to it Roxie’s already talking to whoever is on the other side.
“Yes, she’s awake...” I watch her listen to the caller. “My name is Roxanne, but you can call me Roxie. Bye,” she abruptly says, turning to me, jabbing the phone out like it’s just attacked her. “He wants you.” Three little words and my heart slams against my chest. My stomach drops to my feet and the lump in my throat is too big to swallow past.
“Hello?”
“Darling, I didn’t know if I was waking you up, or if you’re an early bird. Guess I know now.” Slade’s deep rumble comes from the speaker and the confident tone of his voice sets me further on edge. I didn’t want him to know about Roxie.
“Where did you get my number?”
“I’m very persuasive, and Jag looks out for me.” He chuckles. The sound raspy, turning my wild heartbeat into overdrive as it slams against my ribs painfully.
I’m going to kill Jagger!
“Okay. So why are you calling me?”
“You know why, darling,” he murmurs, dropping his voice to a rich malt, turning my insides out. The effect this man has on me is astounding. Normally, I can ignore the flirting, I can easily walk away, but there’s something about Slade that pulls me back. “I’m a man who loves a challenge, and you are just that. Go out with me. Bring Roxie along.” My daughter’s name on his lips makes me tremble in fear because he knows she’s mine. Every time she’s come up men have run, but Slade is still on the line, still asking me out. And what’s more, he’s offering to have my daughter join us.
“Why would I give you even the slightest chance, Slade? Like I said, I’m not going to be another—”
“Ryn,” he growls. He actually fucking growls my name, and it does things to my body that I can’t explain. “Give me the benefit of the doubt. One date. Spend tomorrow with me. We’ll take Roxie down to the beach, and I’ll show you I’m not the man whore you think I am.”
He sounds so sincere. My heart catapults at the thought of a date with him. He’s handsome. Beyond gorgeous. With hazel eyes, full lips, and big strong hands he’s a heartbreaker, but it’s that chiseled jaw that sports a dusting of stubble, just enough to feel between my thighs, that causes me to finally allow him in an inch. “Fine. One wrong move...”
“And you’re welcome to kick me to the curb, but trust me, I’ll make every fantasy you’ve ever had come true. Thank you, Ryn. I promise to make you smile.”
“I’m sure. Goodbye, Slade.” I hang up before he can say anything more. My mind is a mess right now, but my heart, that cheating fucker, is slamming my rib cage with happiness.
“Is that your boyfriend, Mommy?” Pivoting on my heel, I find my sweet girl staring up at me while she swallows her cereal. And by “swallows,” I mean inhales it.
“Maybe, honey, I don’t know yet.” She nods, not a care in the world as she skips back to the kitchen. Do I even want a boyfriend? Shaking my head, I make my way to the bathroom to get ready for work. This is ridiculous, I’m not a teenager, and he’s not my crush.