Chapter Three

Deyro

I walked around Quint's office, admiring what he had hanging on the walls – some artwork and an array of different swords and daggers. All of the blades he had hanging looked like they'd seen some action. As I looked closely at them, I had to wonder why he'd kept them. What sort of sentimental value they held for him.

I thought ahead to the day that I'd have an office like that. I wondered if I'd have my own collection of blades hanging on the walls – if any of the blades currently on me would hold such sentimental attachment. Or if I'd be able to just discard them when they'd run their course.

That was my goal though – to be a Warden. And I worked hard, honed my skills, and did everything I could to make sure that was going to happen. Maybe not a big city like Los Angeles at first, but one day, I was going to have my own territory. As I stared at Quint's collection of blades, that much I knew beyond any sort of doubt.

I was going to be a Warden.

“You want your own territory one day, don't you?”

I turned at the sound of Quint's voice and smiled. “Of course,” I said. “Isn't that the goal of every Ranger?”

Quint shut the office door behind him and walked around his desk, dropping down into the big, comfortable chair. He motioned for me to take a seat in the chairs across the desk from him, so I did.

“Surprisingly, some are content with the life of a Ranger,” he said. “Some prefer to stay out of the politics that go into being a Warden. Some prefer to have the freedom a Ranger has. Believe it or not, the life of a Warden isn't for everybody.”

I shrugged. “You seem to handle it well enough,” I said. “You're a Warden, have a beautiful woman, have a booming restaurant –”

“Because I'm fortunate enough to have good people around me,” he replied. “People willing to follow my lead. People who believe in me.”

I nodded. “Exactly,” I replied. “And that's what I want too. I know we've got some good people out there –”

“But are they willing to follow you?” he asked. “Would they be willing to put their lives on the line for you?”

A puzzled expression crossed my face. Of course, they'd follow me. I had no idea why Quint would ask me such a question. I was the best of my class. Clearly, I was the best Ranger he had in his territory. People followed courage and they followed competence. Of course, they'd follow me into battle.

“Yes, of course they would.”

Quint leaned back in his seat and gave me a small smile. “How do you know?”

“Because I'm the best Ranger you've got,” I replied simply.

“I think that Zarik and Glyn might have something to say about that,” Quint said, a dangerous glint in his eyes. “They're two of my most trusted, most experienced lieutenants.”

“I've sparred with both of them,” I said, feeling that familiar surge of pride coursing through me. “And I've bested both of them.”

“Sparring,” he said. “Which is quite different from actual combat.”

“That's true,” I admitted. “But I believe the fact that I was able to beat both of them in a full speed sparring session speaks well of my abilities.”

“Oh, this isn't about your abilities,” I said. “Not at all. Clearly, you're a physical specimen. You're an incredibly gifted fighter. Strong. Courageous. Lethal with a blade in your hand.”

As I listened to him, listened to what he was saying, I couldn't help but hear the loud “but” coming.

“But?” I asked, beating him to the punch.

“But – I don't think they'd follow you. Not with any real zeal or passion,” he said simply.

I sat back in my seat and felt like he'd just slapped me across the face and a surge of dark anger rocketed through my veins. I took a moment to collect myself, taking a deep breath and letting it out again. When I'd gone through the Academy back in Chondelai, our Masters had used similar tactics to motivate us. To educate us.

This was just another tactic. Right?

“I disagree, Warden,” I said, my voice tight. “My skill –”

“Yes, we've been through that,” he replied. “But skill alone doesn't make a leader. Skill alone doesn't inspire people to follow them – quite possibly to their deaths.”

“Then what does inspire them, Warden?”

Quint looked at me evenly, a small, amused grin touching his face. He was enjoying this. Enjoying trying to get under my skin and fluster me. Which added to my belief that he was testing me. Testing me to see if I had the patience under fire to be a Warden.

I needed to calm myself down. Let go of the anger coursing through my veins. I need to be cool. Mellow. I needed to show him that he couldn't ruffle me. Couldn't get under my skin.

“Belief, Deyro,” he said. “They have to believe in you. Believe that you're worthy of their loyalty. Believe you're worth laying down their life for.”

I nodded. “And I think the people we have out there believe that, Warden.”

“Do you, now?”

“Of course, I do.”

Quint stood up and walked to the window of his office. Beyond the glass, some of our trainees continued to work out. Spar. Do everything they could to get themselves ready for the coming battles. As I looked at them – human, all of them – Quint's words drifted through my mind. Would they follow me? Did I inspire them? Would they consider me worthy of their loyalty?

I slammed the door on that thinking – that sense of uncertainty. I'd worked hard to get to where I was. I was the best at what I did. I wasn't going to allow Quint – as much as I respected him – to make me start doubting and second-guessing myself.

“So, if I went out there and asked them whether or not they would follow you into battle,” Quint said. “They would all say yes?”

I nodded emphatically. “Absolutely. They look up to me,” I said. “Respect me.”

“What about Alexis?” Quint asked, turning around and looking me square in the eye. “Does she respect you? Does she look up to you?”

The question took me aback for a moment. I hadn't been prepared for such a general question to something so specific. Alex? Of course, she respected me. We'd been partners for a few months now. Had gone on plenty of missions together. We'd put our lives in each other's hands more times than I could count.

Sure, we weren't the best of friends. Probably never would be. But we had something of a bond. A connection. It wasn't something I'd expect Quint to understand. Sure, he had Astrid, but things between Alex and I were – different. We were warriors. We fought at one another's side – our connection and bond were just different. They had to be, given the different dynamics of the relationship.

“Of course, she does,” I said. “No question about it.”

“Interesting,” he said. “Because I get the impression that she does respect you as a fighter. She respects your skill and ability. But I also get the impression that she wouldn't follow you down to the corner for a cup of coffee.”

I gritted my teeth and tried to keep my temper in check. The last thing I needed to do was to lose my shit all over my Warden. That wouldn't look good for me. Not at all. But the fact that he was questioning my leadership, essentially questioning my fitness for command, infuriated me. But I had to hold it in check. If I ever wanted to be a Warden, I had to prove myself to be unflappable – even in the face of things that really pissed me off.

“Respectfully,” I said through gritted teeth, “I believe that you are wrong.”

He gave me a slight shrug. “I don't think I am,” he said. “Your skill with a blade is incredible, Deyro. There's no question about that. But there's more to being a leader than being able to wield a sword.”

“I honestly don't know where this is coming from, Warden,” I said.

“I'm very well in tune with what's happening, Deyro. With what's being said,” he replied. “I see things. Hear things.”

I took in a deep breath and silently let it out, willing my frustration and anger to settle. Doing my best to stuff it down deep.

“And what are you hearing, Warden?”

He crossed the room and dropped down behind his desk again, leaning back in his chair and putting his feet up on the desktop. He looked at me for a long moment. And the longer the silence dragged on, the harder it was to keep my temper in check.

“What I'm hearing,” Quint finally said, “is that you're exceptional in the field.”

I nodded. “I've been trained well.”

“I also hear that you're something of a – showman.”

“A showman?”

Quint nodded. “I've heard that you like to put on a bit of a show,” he said. “That you sometimes drag out a kill much longer than necessary just to impress people with your skills.”

I felt my face grow warm. “Is that what Alex is saying?”

“Not in so many words,” he said. “She's a very good partner and bends over backwards to cover your ass, Deyro.”

“I don't think –”

“But something you should be aware of, is the fact that she's not the only one saying that,” Quint continued. “That's something that's being said all through our ranks.”

I knew my face was a scarlet color and it felt like it was burning up. I know that Alex had gotten on me about being a – in her words – a showboat. But I honestly never thought of it like that. I simply enjoyed what I was doing.

“Warden,” I said. “I take pride in what I do. It gives me a sense of satisfaction unlike anything else I've ever done. I enjoy being a Ranger. I enjoy protecting humanity from these creatures we battle. Is it so wrong to have a little fun doing my job?”

He shrugged. “It's not for me to judge,” he said. “Until you start endangering yourself or the lives of those in the field with you, I'm in no place to tell you how to do your job. I'm only letting you know what's being said. And giving you a reason that you're nowhere near ready to be a Warden.”

I sat back in my seat feeling like I'd been kicked in the gut. What Quint was saying had completely blindsided me and I wasn't sure how to respond. The idea that the rest of our little army didn't respect me, thought that I was a showboat – it wasn't sitting well with me. Not at all.

I knew I was going to have to wait a little while before I'd be given my own territory. I knew becoming a Warden wasn't an overnight deal. But I believed that I was on the fast track. That I was on pace to become the youngest Warden in Dragonborn history.

But Quint said I was nowhere near ready to be a Warden with such finality, with such an ominous tone, that I feared he was going to bump me to the back burner. That he wasn't going to endorse me to become a Warden – something I'd taken as a given since I was assigned to him.

“Warden, I – I don't know what to say to all of this,” I said. “It's obviously upsetting. But, I –”

“You're young, Deyro,” he said. “I was your age once as well. And I actually see a lot of myself in you. I was cocky. I was arrogant. Believed I was invincible and was second to none. And like you, I could be a bit of a hot dog in the field too.”

“But, I don't think I'm a hot dog, Warden,” I said, my voice terse. “I get the job done. I put the monsters down. I do my job and I do it well.”

“And nobody is saying differently,” he said patiently. “Everybody acknowledges your skill. They respect that. I just want to give you something to think about. Leadership doesn't come from the sword. It comes from the mind and it comes from the heart. Win those, and you'll be ready to lead. But first, you need to learn to humble yourself, Deyro.”

My blood was running hot and I just wanted to get out of there. I couldn’t' remember a time when I'd been so pissed. I got to my feet and faced Quint, doing my best to keep my face neutral.

“Am I dismissed, Warden?”

He looked at me a long moment and then nodded. Turning on my heel, I headed for the door when his voice stopped me.

“One more thing,” he said. “It wasn't until I got somebody killed – somebody I cared about – that I realized maybe people were right about me being a little too arrogant. Just something to think about.”

Without another word, I left Quint's office and headed out into the night, furious and more disturbing to me – embarrassed.