five
At Grand Central Station, Candace only had to wait twenty minutes for the next train out to Blue Pines. She had planned to spend the evening with Zoe and have Abbie and Preston pick her up after the Broadway show they were attending. For a moment, she debated taking another cab to Zoe’s place, but they both needed the space. Unfortunately, Colin wasn’t around either, meaning she would probably spend the evening alone in a city she didn’t know.
The Saturday afternoon train was mostly empty, so she didn’t have to share a seat. The quiet gave her time to think. Other than the conductor’s voice, which was smooth in a chocolate-fondue sort of way, no one interrupted her. She tried to concentrate on the river and buildings framed by her window, but she couldn’t get past the essence of their fight. What if her younger cousin was right? Could marriage be an option, or had all of the flowers fogged her brain?
She was the only passenger to disembark at Blue Pines. Rather than go to the inn, Candace walked in the direction of the old church, now a community center, where yesterday’s wedding was held. Across the street was a city park complete with bandstand and small gazebo. No wonder Hearthfire had chosen to film one of their famous Christmas movies here. Candace wandered past the playground and watched parents push their children on the swings. A father waited at the bottom of a slide as his daughter sat on the top, refusing to go down. An older child in a matching shirt gave the reluctant child a shove. Giggles filled the air.
Candace turned away. She’d once had dreams of taking her own children to the park. She’d also had dreams of joining one of America’s premier ballet companies. But that had all changed with one little lump. Everything had changed.
A familiar figure sat alone in the little gazebo.
“Hello, Reverend Cavanagh,” she greeted Sean’s grandfather.
He waved her over to the bench beside him. “Candace, right? I love your blue hair. However, do young people change styles so fast?”
In answer, she lifted the wig a couple inches to reveal her bald head.
“Did you shave it?”
“No. I managed to acquire the rare condition of chemotherapy-induced alopecia. Unlike other cancer patients, when my therapy was done, my hair didn’t come back.”
The reverend nodded. “I am glad to see you make the most of your condition. I have often wondered what I would have looked like with different hair. As a child, it was bright red. Now nice people call it silver. I once wondered if I would have been luckier with the girls if my hair wasn’t so fiery.”
“Tessa said you had been married fifty years. I think you got pretty lucky, even with red hair.”
“My wife was a wonderful woman, and I was lucky to have her. What about you? Have you found that lucky one yet?”
Candace bit her lip. Something about the old minister invited her to bare her soul. Maybe it would help to talk. It wasn’t like she was likely to see him again, and didn’t he have to keep everything confidential? “I’ve never looked because I can’t get married.”
“Why not?”
Candace pulled the battered 4 x 6 notebook from her purse. “Because I am supposed to be dead. The first time I was in the hospital, I heard the doctor talking out in the hall. He said he only gave me ten years. So I made a ten-year plan and a bucket list.” She handed the reverend the notebook. “I’ve done almost everything I set out to do. I spent a night in the Cinderella Castle and even got to wear one of the costumes. I’ve been kissed at the top of the Empire State Building, although I have no clue what his name was—one of my mistakes. I graduated and made a difference in my school by making it popular not to drink. And I modified some of my list as I discovered that some things were not as important than others. Like eating chocolate ice cream over going vegan. There is nothing left to do.”
Reverend Cavanagh held up the last page. “Except this?”
She didn’t need to look at the page he held. The sketch of a headstone, one of her first, was poorly executed. “Except that. Believe me, I have no intention of making that happen. I just thought after all these years that it would happen, but it hasn’t. I should have died last year, and now I don’t know what to do.”
“The same as the rest of us. You keep living. Doctors make guesses. Sometimes they are wrong. Maybe that doctor wasn’t even talking about you. You said you overheard the doctor, so there is a chance, isn’t there?” He handed her notebook back.
Candace put it in her purse. “I guess he could have been talking about someone or something else. But—”
“It may not surprise you, but I believe in prayer and miracles. Do you pray?” There was a twinkle in his eye that made it almost impossible not to believe in God.
“Yes, I believe in prayer. I know it got me through my treatment. Sometimes the answers are not what we want. Near the end of her life, my mother asked us to stop praying she would live.” Praying Mom would die had been the most challenging prayer she’d ever uttered. The fact that it had been answered only hours later gave her as much peace as it did anger.
“You lost your mother?”
“She died of cancer. We went through some of our treatments together, though hers was more advanced than mine.” Candace pretended to study the tall pine trees in the center of the park as the threat of tears passed.
The reverend gave her several minutes before he spoke again. “What do your doctors say about your condition now?”
“Given that I have been cancer free for nine years, they say I am likely to die of old age.”
“Then I would consider that a miracle.”
“But what if I die in ten years? It isn’t fair to leave a husband and children.” If she could even conceive.
“My son was a firefighter. Loved the job, his wife, and Sean. He had no idea when he went to work on September 11 that he would never come home again. But I don’t think he spent time worrying about the what-ifs. He saved many lives that day and in the dozen or so years before. Even knowing that his job was riskier than most didn’t stop him from enjoying life and his son. None of us has a guarantee.”
Candace pondered that. Was she looking for a guarantee?
Reverend Cavanagh waited until her eyes met his. “Have you prayed about what to do?”
She shook her head.
“Maybe you should.” The reverend’s phone pinged. “That’s my daughter-in-law wondering where I am. I’ll add you to my prayers.” He got up, smiled at Candace, and headed in the direction of the old church.
As the shadows in the park lengthened, Candace meandered back to the inn, contemplating Reverend Cavanagh’s words. Could she make another ten-year plan? The thought both scared and excited her. A new bucket list? This time, instead of putting down that she wanted to kiss ten guys, she would choose only one, and she would have to love him. What did that even feel like? After blocking it out as an option for so long, Candace realized she wasn’t sure. Maybe it was an illusion, like a Hearthfire movie.
Colin had the driver go straight to the warehouse from O’Hare. He’d built it last year mostly to test some ideas about solar energy and automation. The lighting would need to be improved, and perhaps a couple of rooms divided off. Restoration work probably involved sanding and chemicals to clean and refurbish the old wood. Candace would need a clean area to paint in that didn’t have sawdust or smell of chemicals. She preferred natural light, but that wasn’t feasible in this building. Artificial would have to do. Colin jotted down a few notes and emailed his contractor, knowing the man wouldn’t be able to start until after Labor Day.
Colin took a couple pictures of the space and texted them to Nick. He didn’t expect an answer right away and was surprised when one came.
—Space looks good. May need a few divisions for different types of work. Let me know when you can get a contractor in.
I will.
—Good luck with operation Merry-Go-Round.
The rest of the weekend was quieter than usual. The only real surprise was the contractor getting back to him Monday morning and indicating that changing the configuration of the warehouse would take less than ten days once the plans were drawn up and approved. Colin sent the notes over to the architect who had helped plan the building. Despite Monday being a holiday, plans and permits were approved and secured by noon on Tuesday.
Colin thought he was doing an excellent job of balancing his normal activities and overseeing the warehouse transformation until Daniel called him on it Thursday morning.
“I thought as the new dad I was the one supposed to resemble a zombie. What’s up?” Daniel sat in his usual chair for their weekly meeting.
Not knowing how much his business partner would tell his wife, Colin answered carefully. “I’m collaborating with Nick on a personal project, and I guess I got too obsessive on my end.”
Daniel studied Colin for an uncomfortable minute. “Nick mostly does real estate, not tech. What could you be partnering on?”
“It is one of his Do-Gooding things. He needed a state-of-the-art space to renovate an antique merry-go-round, and I have the one I built as a test project. It’s more of a collaboration.”
“And nothing else? A warehouse doesn’t explain why you left New York early or moved the app to testing.”
Hiding the truth from Daniel was as impossible as keeping the specs on his latest tech from his competitors the week before launch. Colin rubbed his forehead. “I’ll tell you, but you have to promise not one word outside of this room, especially to your wife.”
Daniel raised a brow. “You know there isn’t much I would keep from her.”
“She can’t know.”
“Fine. Our secret—unless it is illegal.”
“Not illegal. Nick is going to hire Candace to work on the restoration of this old merry-go-round so she will move up to Chicago.”
“And why would this be a secret? Won’t Candace know she is being hired?”
“Nick is doing it for me. I want to spend more time with Candace.” His face heated.
A smile filled Daniel’s face. “It’s about time. You have our support.”
“You can’t tell Mandy. If Candace realizes we made up the entire job just so she would move here . . . well, you know how she can get.” Colin thought of the protest against Daniel selling his grandfather’s mansion Candace had spearheaded. Her passion for correcting wrongs was one of the things he adored about her. The most significant risk of project Merry-Go-Round was that she would see through the con and end it.
“I won’t tell Mandy, but I may suggest a double date or two. We could even have to back out at the last minute if it would help.” Daniel’s idea had some merit. A couple double dates might help. “However, this not telling Mandy goes two ways. I won’t break any confidences she shares with me about Candace.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to. Now, how do you think the new trade deal will affect our interests in Canada?” Colin ignored Daniel’s knowing grin at the change of subject.