Chapter Seven
Some color had come back in her face. Jacko glanced over at Lauren in the passenger seat. Her skin had been the color of ice when they arrived at ASI.
He’d gone in fully expecting to walk back out without a job. Instead, he’d come back out with a team. Midnight and Senior—man. Those guys were real team leaders. A member of the team needed help? They stepped right up. Jacko was intensely grateful for that. But intense gratitude was nothing compared to the white-hot relief he felt knowing that ASI had his back. Lauren would be kept safe, no question.
Jacko could have done it alone—he knew that. He’d have locked them in his secure quarters forever if that’s what it took. But he didn’t have to. He didn’t have to be on alert 24/7 because he’d be sharing the job of protecting Lauren with his teammates.
Basic principle of bodyguarding and of soldiering—never do it on your own. You work in shifts. Otherwise the adrenalin of constant alertness will eat you alive.
So not only were they going to keep Lauren safe, they were going on the offensive. Oh yeah.
It wasn’t in Jacko’s nature to hunker down. If he knew Lauren was protected, he and ASI could go take down this son of a bitch.
He’d give Bud some time to dig up intel. It was always good to go the legal route. But bottom line? If there was no progress soon, he’d leave Lauren with Metal—no one better, no one smarter, no one meaner when he had to be—and go off to Palm Beach and smoke the fucker who was after her himself.
He knew how to do it and leave no clues.
So sometime soon Lauren’s nightmare would be over. Oh yeah.
“Jacko,” she said, turning to him, “I don’t know how to thank you—”
Jacko held up a hand in horror. “God, don’t thank me.” His throat tightened. He had a lot of skills. Get in his way and you’d be sorry. But words weren’t what he was good at. “Just...don’t.”
Unspoken words choked him. I would happily die to protect you. No will ever touch you again.
I think I love you.
That last thought made him sweat. He gripped the steering wheel harder, his palms suddenly damp.
Fuck.
His hands were sweating. That never happened to a sniper, and sweaty hands had sure as hell never happened to him. He’d always been the meanest, nastiest motherfucker around since he was twelve. No one messed with him then; no one messed with him now.
He’d shot and killed really bad guys without breaking a sweat. Sometimes he hadn’t used a bullet but his bare hands. And now just look at him.
He weighed twice what Lauren did. He could bench-press her. Hell, he could bench-press two of her. Yet she somehow reduced him to a wreck, particularly when he thought of someone hurting her.
He could have put it down to sex, but he’d felt this way for four freaking months now and they’d only had sex once. It was off the charts, okay, but still...
In those four months in which he wasn’t getting his rocks off at all, just seeing her made him sweat but also made his day. He felt...different when he was around her, as if there was this force field around her that skewed his molecules.
No, that wasn’t it.
Hell, he didn’t know what was it.
All he knew was he felt good around her and missed her when she wasn’t there and by God, no one was going to hurt her.
He couldn’t say any of that. The words stuck in his throat and they fucking hurt because they couldn’t come out. The words were like knives, cutting him. He swallowed and looked at her and she seemed to understand.
That was the thing about Lauren. She...understood him. She never treated him like a piece of meat or a walking dick like other women did. Well, Suzanne, Allegra and Claire didn’t. But every other woman did. She listened to him, though he didn’t speak much around her. But when he did he had her full attention.
He felt good around her. Wanted to be around her as much as possible.
Was that love?
Fuck if he knew.
Uncomfortable with the thoughts in his head, he was grateful when they reached the underground garage of his building.
He switched off the engine and turned to her.
She recognized instantly that he had something serious to say. When she turned to him, her entire focus was on him. It felt like a beam of light was on his face.
“Okay. This is how it’s going down. When you want to go out, we come straight down here where no one can see you get in the vehicle. I will temporarily disable the security cams when we come down to the garage and I’ll let the security guys in the lobby know. And I’ll tell them that no deliveries come up except from them. Just in case you have to be out in the open, I know a guy who can manufacture hats with brims that beam down a special invisible light that messes with recorded images. No facial recognition software will be able to pick up your face. It won’t be stylish but it will be effective.”
He didn’t even go into pancake makeup, which fooled skin-texture analytics and graph measurement software. But they were available and she’d make use of them.
“I should stay in as much as possible,” she said softly.
“Yeah. But I don’t want you to feel caged. If the weather clears, I can take you for walks in the country where there are no vidcams. I always keep my bike in back so maybe we could go for a ride. Would you like that?”
“I hear you’re very good on your bike. Though I also hear you go about a million miles an hour. We’ll have to go slower than that.” She stretched out a hand to caress his cheek and leaned forward. The kiss was soft, warm, fleeting. She pulled back just a little and searched his eyes. “You’re taking such good care of me, Jacko. Thanks.”
His throat tightened and he swallowed heavily. “No problem. Let’s go up and I’ll show you around.”
He left her in his apartment while he went back down to bring up the last load of her stuff. Crazily, though he knew for a fact that nothing was happening to her, he was anxious until he walked back through his door and found her putting things away.
Muscles he hadn’t known were tense immediately relaxed the instant he saw her. Okay, maybe there was a way to save his sanity.
“Lauren,” he said quietly. “Come here.” He was able to put his hands immediately on what he needed and palmed it. He knew where everything was, at all times, because he was OCD when it came to gear. He sat down on his long brand new sofa and patted the cushion next to him. “Sit down.”
She came right away, sat down next to him. Folded her hands and waited for what he had to say. He loved that about her. She was always no nonsense. Never whiny or pouty. If she’d been busy with something she didn’t want to interrupt, she’d have said so, firmly.
She treated him as a teammate, and as someone he could count on, always.
His heart thumped once, hard.
Jacko tried to look at his place through her eyes. “First of all, I hope you’ll be okay here. I haven’t, um, decorated.” At all. He had a bed, a long sofa and a big screen TV. A table with his six-monitor computer set up. A table to eat on, with a couple of chairs. That was more or less it.
Luckily he was sailor-neat. Not that there could be a mess when there was nothing there.
Lauren smiled. “I’m not assigning decorating points, Jacko. I’m not the décor police. I’ll be comfortable here—don’t worry. And I can always order throw pillows online.”
He smiled back. “Oh yeah. Do whatever you want. Consider the place yours. Throw pillows, curtains, frills. Those flower petals in silver thingies that Suzanne has everywhere. I’m game.”
She tilted her head. “We could start with food. Your refrigerator has ten bottles of microbrewery beer, a hunk of stale cheddar and a soft tomato.”
He winced. She’d probably seen that his cupboards were completely bare, too. Well, he rarely ate at home, and when he did it was takeout. Didn’t know how to cook. Now things had changed. He’d be taking most of his meals home, for the first time in his life. The thought didn’t disturb him as much as he thought it would.
“There’s a supermarket that does online ordering. When we’re settled, we’ll order. And I’m good at ordering takeout. I have the menus for Chinese, Thai and Tex-Mex. You won’t starve.”
“No.” She smiled. “I won’t.”
He took in a deep breath. This next part was going to be tricky. He opened his hand to show her what was on it. “Here.”
She picked it up, puzzled. He could understand that. It was a tiny piece of tech with a thin steel rim.
“What’s this?”
“It’s a tracker.” Jacko held up his hand. “Now, I don’t want you to feel weird or anything but I want you to keep it on you at all times. Just until we know what’s going down.” Or until that fuckhead Jorge was dead. “I’ll be with you as much as possible and when I can’t be with you Metal or another ASI guy will. But you know, there might be times when you’ll be alone here. The place is secure, trust me. But if I’m not physically with you, I need to know where you are. At all times. So I gotta ask—you think you could do that? Keep this on you?”
There were so many things he wanted to add. I don’t even know if we’re together, besides this crap that’s happening right now. I’d fucking hate to be tracked myself. But please do this for me, so I don’t go bugfuck crazy when I can’t physically see you. It nearly killed me to go back down to the garage. But he didn’t know how to say the words. All he could do was sit beside her with the tiny piece of silicon and brushed steel in his open palm and hope she didn’t hit him across the face.
She didn’t. She looked at it thoughtfully, studying it. Then she put in on her knee and reached behind her neck to unclasp a light gold chain. In a moment, she’d somehow threaded the chain through the tracker and put it back around her neck. She stroked it and smiled at him.
“There,” she said softly. “It’ll be on me at all times.”
Oh man. He swallowed. A wave of something—heat, lust, love?—swept over him, like a solar wind in a sci-fi flick. Whoosh. Enormous heat. What felt like another realignment of his molecules.
He placed his hand over it, just below her collarbone. Her skin felt so satiny, so smooth. Not like normal skin, like something finer than that. He looked at his hand on her neck, fingers curling slightly. He had big hands, strong hands. Steady hands.
But right now his hand felt huge and awkward. Not part of his own body, more like a part of hers. He was unable to take that hand away, as if she were a powerful magnet and his hand was pure iron.
“Thank you for this,” he said hoarsely. “I appreciate it.”
She blinked. “Jacko, I don’t think you’re clear on what’s happening. You just offered to quit your job—and I know you love it, don’t deny it—for me. You’re rearranging your entire life for me, to keep me safe, and you think I’d balk at making sure you know where I am at all times?” She edged closer to him. “And do you think I’d complain about you sharing your home with me?” She looked around at the huge emptiness of his living room and brought amused eyes back to his. “Though I really might be doing some decorating here. I promise no chintz.”
He ran the back of his forefinger down her cheek. “You can make this place wall-to-wall chintz for all I care. Whatever the hell chintz is. As long as you’re here, and safe, I’m okay.”
“Thank you.”
He shook his head sharply. “I told you, don’t need thanks. Don’t want it.”
She leaned in even farther, smiled into his eyes. “Then what do you need? What do you want?”
“I’ll show you what I want,” he whispered. He lowered his hand. She had on one of those sweaters that buttoned up the front. They had a name but he couldn’t remember it right now. He could barely remember his own name. He unbuttoned the sweater slowly, watching her, ready to stop if she wanted him to.
But she didn’t stop him. She sat quietly while he opened the sweater and folded one side back. She had on one of those lady bras that looked sexy as hell. In some light purple color that probably had a weird name. Suzanne would know. She had names for every color under the sun. He unhooked the bra, brushed it aside and bent forward to kiss her breast.
Lauren gave a soft sigh and arched her back. One hand rose to his neck and she held him tightly to her, fingers caressing the back of his head. She tasted salty sweet, incredibly delicious. As he licked and sucked at her, he gently slid off the sweater and the bra, then lifted his head. Though he’d only sucked one nipple, both were erect and cherry red. The breast that was wet from his mouth was pinker.
Jacko reached out an unsteady hand and outlined the deeper pink. “Razor burn.” He lifted his eyes to hers. “Sorry.”
“Do the other breast,” she answered softly.
Oh yeah. As he licked and kissed it, Jacko finished undressing her. She helped, lifting and moving and pulling, until she was naked on his couch, lightly flushed, smiling at him.
He couldn’t smile back. His face just wouldn’t. A smile felt small and inadequate to what he was feeling. She was sitting like a queen, pale and glowing, looking at him with softness in her gaze. No woman had ever looked at him like that. Women looked at him pre—and post-fucking. The pre-fuck look was speculative and the post-fuck look was, thank God, usually satisfied. But there was never any emotion there.
Lauren’s feelings were written all over her face. Feelings for him.
He had no idea what was on his own face; he could barely feel himself, he was so concentrated on her. He had tons of feelings rolling around inside, so many and so strong he couldn’t express them. He had no words to tell her what she meant to him. What he felt seeing her on his couch smiling at him as if he were the center of her world. He couldn’t explain it to her in any way.
There was one thing he could say, though, and it came from the deepest part of him.
“I’ll keep you safe.” He wanted to say more but the words just wouldn’t come.
“I know you will, Jacko.” Lauren smiled at him, cupped his jaw with a hand. He shifted and kissed the palm of her hand, a little calmer now. She’d understood all those unspoken words. He didn’t have to say them because she understood.
She understood him. He’d allowed her glimpses inside himself, something he had never allowed anyone before and instead of running away screaming, here she was, sitting naked on his couch, looking at him with softness in her eyes.
His own little miracle. Oh yeah, he was going to keep her safe.
Because she was his.
Heat rose inside him, heat and lust, desire so strong he’d die if he didn’t have her, right now. In a second, he was naked too. Some instinct, some muscle memory that didn’t require thought, like switching out a mag in a firefight, something he’d done so many times he barely noticed, had him ripping open a condom and sliding it on, then he lifted her over him as if she were weightless. She was in that instant. He didn’t feel the weight, just her softness as she settled over him. His hands pulled her thighs apart, then he positioned her with a hand on her back and he felt her, oh God yes. Felt her wet heat against his cock, opening to him. She was bracing her hands on his shoulders, looking down at him. Not smiling, eyes slitted. She blew out a breath, circling her hips with him just inside her.
Jacko’s heart was hammering, muscles twitching. This was a moment for self-control. He knew that; he wasn’t stupid. He was just blasted by lust, not quite in control of himself. Lauren was lifting away from him, then settling back down on him, a little deeper each time.
It was taking her goddamned forever. Sweat trickled down his back from the effort of staying still. When she rose back up on her knees, with him barely inside her, her head bowed over his, her dark hair forming a little curtain around them.
Jacko tightened his hands around her back, looked up into her silver-gray eyes glowing with an unearthly light.
“I have to—” he gritted.
She nodded and he pulled her down onto him while slamming his hips up until he was deep inside her, and the god of soldiers smiled on him because she was coming, pulling on him with sharp little strokes of her sheath. He started jetting inside her in spurts so strong he thought he’d pass out.
They were holding each other tightly, neither of them moving except where they were joined, panting, eyes closed, lost in their own world.
Jacko came back into himself slowly. When he realized he was clutching Lauren so hard he could be hurting her, he loosened his hold, letting out a long low breath. Man, it had been so freaking intense. For all the years he’d been having sex—more than half his life—nothing like that had ever happened to him. He’d lost all notions of self, of where he was, completely taken up by the woman in his arms.
He let out another long breath, relaxing a bit on the couch, feeling tight muscles loosen. Lauren slumped onto him, head nestled on his shoulder, and he rested his cheek on the top of her head. The sharp smell of sex rose, but it was a great smell, with an overlay of her perfume, something that smelled like spring.
He was still partially erect and he’d be up for a second round but he could feel Lauren relaxing and the feeling was so precious he didn’t want to spoil it. She’d been through hell and if she could find peace with him, well...that was worth more than another round of sex.
And besides, they had all the time in the world.
The rest of their lives, in fact.
At any other moment, that thought would have shocked Jacko, but right now it just popped every single pleasure center in his head.
“That was quite a welcome, soldier,” Lauren said and he could feel her lips moving in a smile against his shoulder.
“Hmm.”
Lauren gave a little sigh and he could feel her slipping into sleep. Oh man. She was a warm weight against him, soft and light. He cupped her head and adjusted himself so she’d be as comfortable as possible.
Something warm and heavy and unfamiliar passed through him. It took him minutes to realize it was happiness.