CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Honor stepped out into the dirty streets once again, anger simmering just under her skin. Dear God, she was an idiot. She’d gone in there with nothing, no plan, no way of being able to combat him if he decided he wanted her gone. Well, sure enough he had and where the hell did that leave her?
He was going to do something, she was sure of it. Something bad. But she had no doubt he would have done exactly as he’d promised—picked her up and carried her out—if she’d protested.
Either way she wouldn’t be able to stop him.
The men on the pavement outside didn’t even look at her. They’d seen her come in with Gabriel which meant she was his, and obviously they didn’t want to get on his bad side by giving her grief. She should have found that reassuring but for some reason, now, it only made her angrier.
What the hell was she supposed to do?
“Miss St. James?” A deep, English voice came from her right.
She turned.
A man stood on the pavement, swathed in a black overcoat. A tall, massively built man, possibly even bigger than Gabriel. Coal-black hair and the most startlingly amber eyes she’d ever seen. Like Gabriel, an aura of menace surrounded him even though he was smiling, and there was something watchful in those golden eyes of his, something that made her shiver.
“Who are you?” she demanded, resenting like hell the interference from yet another powerful-looking man. “How do you know my name?”
“I’m Zac Rutherford,” the man said, still smiling. “I’m a colleague of Gabriel’s.” He held out a long-fingered hand covered in a black leather glove. “Pleased to meet you.”
Honor glanced down at the proffered hand but didn’t take it. “A colleague? One of his billionaire friends?”
Apparently unperturbed by her refusal to shake hands, he put his hand back in the pocket of his coat. “Yes, indeed. As is Eva King—I think you know her? Anyway, Gabriel wanted me to see you got home safely so here I am. I have a car just around the corner.”
So Gabriel hadn’t wanted her to wait outside. He’d organized for her to be delivered home. Like a package.
“Do you know what he’s doing?” she demanded. “Do you know what he’s planning?”
If he was surprised by her question, Zac gave no sign. “Information, that’s what he wants.”
She searched the other man’s handsome features, looking for any signs that he might have some inkling as to what Gabriel was doing. There were none. His face was absolutely impassive. “That doesn’t answer my question.”
“No, I realize that.” He gave her a slight smile. “But not all questions need to be answered. Will you come with me? Those pretty shoes of yours are going to get wet if we stay out here much longer.”
God, like she cared about her stupid shoes. “No,” she said. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Zac stepped forward, the smile fading from his face. “Miss St. James,” he began.
“Let me deal with this,” a lighter voice said. Out of the shadows next to Zac, another, much smaller figure materialized. A woman in black. Black skinny jeans and heavy boots, a black leather jacket, a black woolen beanie covering her hair. She had small, delicate features and wary gray eyes, heavily outlined in black eyeliner.
She seemed quite young yet the look in her eyes was that of a much, much older woman.
“I’m Eva King, Honor,” she said. “It’s good to meet you at last.” Eva didn’t hold out her hand, both of them remaining firmly in the pockets of her jacket.
So this was the woman she’d approached initially with her investment queries. And these two were the ones who’d uncovered Guy’s supposed money-laundering business.
“You know,” Honor said bluntly. “About my stepfather.”
“Yes,” Eva said. “We do.”
“And you know Gabriel is trying to—”
“Take him down? Yes.” Eva gave her a flat, rather unnerving stare. “You want to stop him?”
Honor paused, unsure of what to say next. Did they know about Gabriel’s rape accusations? She didn’t want to tell them herself since that wasn’t her secret to give. “Guy Tremain is my stepfather,” she said after a moment. “I don’t want him hurt. And I don’t want … I don’t want that on Gabriel’s conscience either.”
Something moved in Zac’s amber gaze. “You’re worried about Gabriel?”
“Of course I’m worried about Gabriel. He’s…” She stopped, the weird grief catching in her throat. Because what was he to her? Not a boyfriend, that’s for sure. A lover certainly.
He’s more than that …
Yes, he was. But she couldn’t think about that now.
“A friend,” she finished. Because that’s what she’d promised him. “I don’t want him to do anything he’ll regret later.”
Eva tilted her head, a frown creasing her pale forehead. “You’ve invested a great deal of money in your stepfather’s hotel chain. And it looks like he’s running his company into the ground on purpose. You’re going to lose everything. Aren’t you … I dunno, pissed about it? Don’t you think he should pay?”
The cold had deepened, her breath puffing in a cloud of frosty air as she exhaled. Honor pulled her coat more firmly around her. “Yes. If it’s true.”
“It’s true all right. Gabriel must have shown you the financials.”
“He has but…” There was one other thing she didn’t know. And it didn’t look like these two knew either.
Gabriel had told no one but her.
“Might I suggest we go back to the car?” Zac interrupted smoothly. “It’s a little chilly to be discussing this here.”
Honor shifted on her feet, glancing back at the entrance to the casino. The group clustered around the front of it were still shifting around, talking and smoking. Beer cans littering the ground.
“Fuck,” Eva muttered. “You do care about him.” The other woman said it like it came as a shock.
No, it was more than care. Far more.
Honor turned her back on the casino. “I’ll come back to the car. But we’re not leaving here until he comes out of that place. Understand?”
* * *
Gabriel followed the security guard off the gambling floor and out into a small, dimly lit narrow corridor. At one end was a door. The guard knocked once and it opened, leading out into an opulent office. More red velvet on the walls, more dark carpet, an expensive Persian rug on the floor, an antique desk that must have cost hundreds of thousands. A man sat behind the desk. A man Gabriel didn’t recognize.
“Mr. Woolf, sir,” the security guard said.
“Wait outside,” Gabriel ordered before the man behind the desk could speak. May as well show his hand now so everyone in this room knew exactly where they stood.
The guard turned his head sharply to the guy seated behind the desk, who scowled. “Who the hell do you think you—”
“I have a full chapter of the Angels club sitting in the streets outside this casino,” Gabriel interrupted him coldly. “Waiting for a signal from me to come in here and start causing trouble. All you have to do is give me reason and I’ll call down hell.” He gave the man a smile that had nothing to do with amusement. “I’m sure your boss won’t be too happy with that.”
The man’s gaze flickered. “I am the boss, you insolent bastard.”
“No, you’re not. I know a fucking flunky when I see one.” He turned to the guard who was still standing there, his hand already reaching for his weapon. “Relax. I’m not going to kill anyone. I just want some information. So how about you wait outside.” He paused. “Unless you want to be responsible for the destruction of this casino?”
The guard hesitated for only a minute before he turned and left the room.
The man behind the desk had risen to his feet. He was outwardly impassive but Gabriel had learned to spot fear years ago and he could see it in this guy’s face. Excellent. Time to use it.
Slowly, he stalked over to the desk, put his hands on the edge, and leaned forward. “I own this neighborhood, motherfucker. It’s mine. And this fucking place has been a thorn in my side for years. I can have it destroyed very easily. Would you like me to do that?”
The man had gone pale. “You can’t do shit,” he said, still obviously trying for bluster.
“You do know who I am, don’t you?”
“You’ll be no one soon. I can get security to—”
“You’re assuming I’m alone. I’m not. Neither am I bluffing. Also, I don’t think your superiors will be happy if a well-known construction magnate ends up dead in an underground fucking casino notorious for drugs and prostitution.”
The man paled even further. “I’ve got nothing to tell you.”
“But you don’t know what I want yet.” He leaned forward. “Tell me everything you know about Guy Tremain.”
There was incomprehension on the man’s face. “Who?”
Gabriel pushed himself away from the desk and stalked around the outside of it. “What about Daniel St. James?”
The man began backing away. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”
The guy was obviously even less than a flunky if he ran at the first sign of trouble. What the fuck were the bosses thinking of to employ an idiot like this?
Gabriel reached forward and grabbed the man’s collar, hauling him close. “Why is Guy Tremain laundering money for this casino? Who’s paying him? Who’s paying you?”
The man finally found his balls from somewhere, taking a swing at him, while struggling out of Gabriel’s hold. The blow was wild and Gabriel ducked it easily enough, but the man managed to slip from his grip, escaping around the desk and out through the door.
Fuck. He only had moments before security would be on him. Not that he cared since they couldn’t touch him. Not with the Angels waiting. The club’s current president was more than happy to come and help out a fellow club member. Especially him.
Gabriel pulled out a couple of drawers of the desk, riffling through the papers and files, not that he expected to find anything. Most of the really incriminating stuff wouldn’t be held here. And sure enough, it wasn’t.
Double fuck.
The door burst open, the casino security pouring through it, weapons at the ready.
Gabriel straightened and folded his arms. They were no threat. He was too big a deal for them to rough up, especially in this neighborhood. No doubt they wanted to do more than rough him up, but they wouldn’t get that either.
The flunky had come back, stepping into the office. “You need to leave.”
Fuck that. He hadn’t gotten what he was looking for yet.
“Don’t do anything you’d regret…”
From out of nowhere Honor’s voice suddenly resounded in his head. Irritated, he tried to ignore it. Because he wouldn’t regret dealing out a bit of violence to this shithead, that was for sure. He was part of the machine that had done something to Alex, that had been the cause of more grief in this neighborhood than even the drugs had.
He’d tried to get rid of the casino when he’d been the Angels’ president. But he had realized it was impossible. The casino’s money was embedded too deeply into the lives of the people here and its withdrawal would have destroyed the neighborhood’s economy.
So he’d left it alone. Yeah, leaving it was already a decision he was regretting. It would be better all around if he called down the Angels and destroyed the place.
A warm hand on his chest, smoothing. “I care about you.”
He shouldn’t listen to that voice. He shouldn’t feel that warmth seeping through him. He shouldn’t want it …
Her arms around him. Not saying anything this time, just holding him. No one had ever held him like that …
Gabriel shoved himself away from the desk, moving before he’d even fully processed it. The guns followed him but he ignored them as he paused by the door, staring at the flunky. “Tell your bosses I want this place shut down. By next week.” Hopefully that would leave them exposed and with any luck he could take them down, too.
“But you can’t—”
He met the man’s gaze, let him see the darkness. “You have no idea what I can and can’t do. Are you really willing to find out?”
The man said nothing, his gaze dropping. But Gabriel knew his message had been received, loud and clear.
He went out into the corridor to find a side door being held open by one of the security staff. Clearly they wanted him gone as quickly as possible.
The door led to an alleyway outside and he stepped into the dimly lit street. Neon reflected off the wet pavement, the thump of music in the distance. Behind him the door slammed shut.
A low, black car waited by the curb.
Gabriel paused, all his senses going on high alert.
The car door opened and a man got out. “Fitz?” the man said, his accent upper-class and familiar. “Is that you?”
Tremain.
Gabriel stilled as Tremain came around the car, coming closer to where he stood. The streetlight behind him would hide his features, at least that far away. But who the fuck was Fitz?
“Why won’t you answer my messages?” Guy was saying as he came closer. “I’ve been trying to get in touch—” He stopped dead. “Woolf.”
A rush of adrenaline flooded through Gabriel’s veins like a drug. Here he was, at last.
His rapist father.
He hadn’t meant to confront him now. Not yet. But what the hell? Fate moved in mysterious ways sometimes.
“Tremain. Fancy seeing you here.” He walked slowly forward to where the other man stood, staring into the guy’s blue eyes, searching his face. He’d done that over the past few weeks, searching for some likeness in the press pictures he’d seen. He had Tremain’s blond hair, that was a start. Though he was taller. But then again, children were always taller than their parents, weren’t they?
The other man blinked. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to play a bit of roulette. What about you? Poker? Blackjack maybe?”
Tremain’s jaw tightened. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Bullshit you don’t.” Gabriel met the other man’s gaze. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. The casino in this building right next to me. The one you’ve been laundering money for. The one your friend St. James owned, running up debts so big he took his own life. That you then paid off to hide from the authorities. And married his widow to make sure it stayed secret.”
Tremain said nothing, standing quite still. There was no expression at all on his bland, handsome face. But there was fear in his eyes. Oh yes, there was fear.
“Tell me,” Gabriel continued on, conversationally. “Did you decide to destroy your own company or was it on orders from someone else? And don’t try to deny it this time.” He paused, to give the guy a chance to sweat. “I have proof.”
“You can’t have proof,” Tremain said, his voice hoarse. “There’s no record—”
“Oh, there are plenty of records if you know where to find them. And luckily enough I do. Though not so lucky for you. Not so very fucking lucky at all.”
A silence fell, heavy and thick with tension.
“I always knew you were scum,” Tremain said, low and harsh. “I warned Honor. I told her she shouldn’t have anything to do with you.”
“Bit late for that now. Since she’s been sleeping with me.”
Something flashed over the other man’s face and savage satisfaction turned over inside Gabriel’s gut. Fuck, yes. Let him find that painful. Let him hurt.
“You bastard. If you do anything to her, I’ll—”
“You’ll what? Seems a bit rich to call me names when you’re the one making it big in white-collar crime.”
The other man shoved his hands into the pockets of the outrageously expensive designer overcoat he wore. “What do you want?”
Excellent. No protests, no denials. At least the man knew when he was beaten.
“Ah, but that’s the problem,” Gabriel said casually. “I don’t want anything. Or no, that’s not exactly true. What I want is to see you go down. Preferably blazing, but shit, I’ll take anything.”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean is that I have enough proof to see you in jail for years to come.”
Tremain’s blue eyes didn’t flinch from his. “I have friends, Woolf. Powerful friends. There’s no jury on earth that would convict me.”
“Maybe not. But I think your friends aren’t quite as powerful as the media can be. A couple of leaked files is all it’ll take. And not just here in the States. I can have them on servers all over the fucking world.”
A muscle ticked in the other man’s jaw. “I have money. You don’t have to—”
“I don’t want your money.” Slowly, Gabriel came forward, getting closer. Until he could look into Tremain’s eyes. His father’s eyes. “Like I said. All I want is to see you go down, you raping prick.” He smiled. “Or should I say, Dad?”
* * *
It was the car she recognized first. Guy’s BMW. And then the two figures standing in the alleyway. Both blond. Both tall.
Zac’s car, a featureless, black, four-wheel drive was parked opposite, and gave Honor a clear view of the alley itself. And whatever was about to go down in it.
“God,” she whispered, reaching for the door handle.
“Hey, where are you going?” Eva called.
But Honor ignored her, slipping from the car and dashing across the street. She couldn’t allow whatever was going to happen, not when the lives of two men she cared about were at stake.
As she approached, she saw Gabriel take a sudden step back into the glow of the streetlight, the light striking gold from his hair. But the expression on his face was one of fury.
“No,” she heard him say. “That’s a fucking lie!”
Guy was standing with his back to her. “I’m not lying,” he said forcefully. “You can take a paternity test if you want. Here,” he stuck out his hand. “Take some blood. Some skin. Some hair. Whatever you like. Get it tested. The rest of what I did, yes, it’s true, but I’m not your father. I never hurt your mother.”
She could see the shock on Gabriel’s face. See the pain and the incandescent rage.
“Gabriel, stop!” she yelled as he took his hands out of his pockets, his fingers curled into fists.
Instantly, both men froze. Then Guy whirled around, meeting Honor’s gaze, his eyes widening in shock. “Honor. What the hell are you doing here?”
Her heart was racing, the words he’d just said echoing in her ears.
“I’m not your father…”
She took a breath. “I’m here with him.”
Guy flashed Gabriel look. “You brought her here? To the casino?” There was rage in his voice. “How could you—”
“I asked to come.” Honor cut him off. “I know, Guy. I know everything. You paying Daniel’s debts. You purposefully destroying Tremain Hotels. You laundering money…”
“Get back in the car, Honor,” Gabriel said in the coldest voice she’d ever heard him use.
“No.”
“I said, get back in the fucking car!”
She met his dark gaze, saw the fury in his eyes. Rage pushing past his usual icy detachment. And she didn’t know what was more frightening, the man of ice or this one, the volcanic rage she’d seen once in his parking garage surging to life.
But he’d never hurt her before. He wouldn’t now.
“I said no. I said I wasn’t leaving you. I promised.”
“Honor,” Guy said, taking a few steps toward her. “You need to listen to him. You have to go.”
Behind him Gabriel moved, so fast Honor had no time to shout out a warning. His hand gripped Guy’s shoulder and he spun the other man around, his fist gripping a handful of cotton and pulling tight.
“Who the fuck is it?” Gabriel demanded. “Who the fuck hurt my mother, prick? And why the hell did you write her that check?”
“It was supposed to be for an abortion,” Guy said, panting. He didn’t struggle, hanging in Gabriel’s grip. “And to shut her up. I had to take the fall if anyone asked. And I had to write the check. No one could know.”
“Gabriel,” Honor said softly, coming closer. “Let him go, please.”
He ignored her. “Yeah, well, she was Catholic, you bastard. She didn’t get an abortion. She had me instead.”
“God,” Guy whispered. “You have no idea what you’re doing.”
Gabriel tightened his grip, the cotton pulling taut around Guy’s throat. “Tell me, motherfucker,” he hissed. “Tell me who he is.”
He was going to hurt Guy. Honor knew it as surely as she knew her own name. Gabriel was going to do him damage and she was the only person who could stop him.
Guy deserved a good many things, but being harmed by this man wasn’t one of them. And neither did Gabriel deserve another mark on his soul. Because he’d regret it later. He’d take the responsibility for it as he did with everything else and the more he took, the more he was crushed by the weight. Until the good man she suspected was underneath all that ice, all that blackness, would be crushed utterly.
She could not let that happen.
“Gabriel,” she murmured, coming around the two men, standing at his elbow. “Stop.” She put a hand on his back, felt the tension like a live wire electrocuting him. His whole body was tight. Every muscle taut. “Please.”
His face was twisted with rage and contempt. He was breathing fast, hard.
His whole life had just been shattered by Guy’s revelation and God, she knew what that felt like.
She spread her fingers out on his back, pressing hard, letting him know she was there for him.
For a second no one moved or said anything.
Then abruptly Gabriel let go, shoving Guy away from him, and Honor let out a breath she didn’t even realize she’d been holding.
Guy stumbled back a few steps, his hand going to his throat, breathing hoarse. “I could have you up on assault charges!”
“No, you won’t,” Gabriel spat. “You’re going to tell me who my father is, otherwise everything you’ve done will be all over the media by tomorrow, I don’t care who you are.”
The older man heaved in a breath, looking at Honor. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I never meant to involve you in any of this.”
“That didn’t stop you from taking her fucking money.” Gabriel’s voice vibrated with barely leashed violence.
Honor slid her hand beneath his leather jacket onto the warm cotton of his shirt, keeping the contact steady. His muscles were bunched and tight, a tremor running through him.
She ached for him. For the anguish she could feel radiating from him.
Guy was still looking at her. “I had to get out of this somehow,” he went on, “I didn’t want to keep laundering that cash. Bankrupting the company was the only way out. Without Tremain Hotels they’ll have to find someone else.”
Her throat closed. “Why couldn’t you have just said no?”
An expression she didn’t understand crossed his face. “Oh, dear girl. You don’t understand. You can’t say no. No one says no. I thought I could do it. Bankrupt the company, leave the country. Get a new life where they wouldn’t find me.”
“And Mom?” She couldn’t stop herself from asking, even though the truth was going to hurt. “Did they … pay you to marry her?”
He didn’t look away. “I suppose you know about Daniel?”
“That he used to run this place, yes.”
Guy sighed. “You have to understand something. He didn’t choose it. He was told.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t explain, not here. But you need to know Daniel wasn’t happy with it. And then the casino began losing money. They were … furious. Especially when he died and they had all these debts to cover up. They used me. I was given money to pay the debts, then marry his widow when the authorities began looking too closely. But … I did love her, Honor. I loved you, too. You have to believe me. I want to take her with me when I go.”
A complex knot of emotions gripped her, so tangled she couldn’t work out which was which. The hand on Gabriel’s back closed into a fist, clutching the cotton of his shirt. “What about my company? My money?”
“It’s for us when we find a new life.” Her stepfather’s shoulders drooped. “I thought … I thought you wouldn’t mind if it meant your mom was safe.”
Anger surged. “She wouldn’t be in danger if you hadn’t married her in the first place!”
The look on his face was weary. “No, she might have taken her own life instead.”
A shudder swept through her, because of course, he was right. If he hadn’t come along and picked her up out of the hole of depression she’d fallen into, that might have happened. Then what would have become of her? An eight-year-old by herself. Into the foster system she would have gone …
“That doesn’t answer the most important question,” Gabriel said roughly.
Guy lifted his chin. “I’ll tell you. But like I said, not here.”
“Yes, you fucker. Right now, right—”
“If anyone finds out, you’ll be in danger.”
“I don’t give a fuck about that.”
“No, I know you don’t. But do you want to risk her, too?”
Honor stilled. “What do you mean?”
“You were both seen at the casino tonight. Questions will be asked, especially about you, Honor. Considering what happened to your father.” He paused, looked at Gabriel. “And as for yours … He’s connected to this and if you make a move against him, he’ll know. And it won’t be you he’ll come after—not when you’re too powerful to hurt. It’ll be her.”
“The hell he will,” Gabriel growled softly. “Over my dead fucking body.”
“You might be able to protect her, or you might not. Either way, you pursuing revenge or justice or whatever the hell it is, will mean she will never be safe. Not while he thinks she means something to you.”
Her shoes were wet, ruined by the snow, and the adrenaline rush that had brought her out of the car was starting to fade, leaving her shaken and chilled to the bone. Whoever Gabriel’s father was, he would use her to get to him …
She didn’t want to look at him. Didn’t want to see what kind of expression was on his face. Her hand was still on his back, fingers clutching his shirt, and now the tension was vibrating through her, too.
“Not while he thinks she means something to you…”
What did she mean to him? A lover he liked to screw? Another responsibility he had to protect? A friend?
It shouldn’t matter. She cared about him, but she’d never expected anything from him in return. She didn’t want anything …
Liar. Of course you want something. You want everything.
“I have to know his name,” Gabriel said, hard and cold. “Whether I do something about it or not.”
Honor shivered, an icy sense of disappointment creeping through her no matter how desperately she told herself she didn’t feel it. He wanted the name. He wanted to know more …
More than he cares about you.
Guy glanced again at Honor, a single look loaded with things she didn’t understand. “I’m sorry, Honor,” he said softly. “For everything.” Then he looked back at Gabriel. “Tomorrow. I’ll let you know where to meet.” He didn’t wait for a response, turning and walking back to his car, and starting the engine and pulling away.
Gabriel took a step away from her, too, his shirt slipping from her grip. And she felt the separation like a blow. Like he was removing himself from her.
She swallowed against the instinctive pain that tightened the back of her throat. “I’m sorry,” she forced out. “I know how—”
“Where’s Zac and Eva?” He turned to her all of a sudden, the darkness in his eyes blazing. “You weren’t supposed to be here. You were supposed to be back home.”
Anger. Of course anger. What else did he have to turn on her after this? Well, she wasn’t going to take it. She never had.
Honor lifted her chin. “I didn’t want to be delivered home like a package, Gabriel. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Go get in the fucking car. You don’t want to be around me right now.”
The aura of danger, of leashed violence around him had grown, thick and almost tangible. But she could see past that. She could see what was beneath it. Pain.
Ignoring the menace in his voice, she walked straight up to him and lifted her hands, taking his face between them. “I’m not going anywhere. I told you, I’m here for you and I’m not leaving.”
He moved. Too fast to avoid or escape. One moment she was standing on the pavement, the next she was hard up against the brick wall behind her, his body pinning her there, his eyes burning into hers. “You shouldn’t have stayed. You should have left while you had the chance.”
Honor’s heartbeat accelerated, but she wasn’t afraid. Not of him. She only felt an aching kind of sadness, the pressure of the vast, heavy emotion pressing down on her. She touched his face, let her fingers trace the outline of his mouth. Finding the softness there. The warmth. The man he was beneath the cold and the danger. A man in pain. Whose life had been hard in the extreme and who was still carrying the cost of it on his soul.
“I’m not leaving, I told you. And I know what it’s like when what you thought was the truth isn’t. It’s hard, Gabriel. Believe me, I know.”
He stared at her and she could feel the shake of his body against hers. Then he knocked her hand away and kissed her, a hard, desperate kiss that had her body waking into life, hungry for him in a way she’d never felt before. She pushed her fingers into his hair, fisting the short golden strands. Kissing him back, harder, even more desperate.
But he pulled away, a savage look in his eyes, a roaring darkness that hinted at all the passions that ran deep inside him. The passions he kept so carefully hidden.
“This is a lie,” he said, his voice hoarse. “You and I? It’s a lie. I targeted you. I seduced you. Deliberately. Because of your connection to Tremain.”
She didn’t understand at first. “What? What do you mean you seduced me?”
“I wanted to take him down. And I needed information about him. Information I could get from you.”
Cold began to burrow its way under her skin. Heading straight for her heart. “I don’t … understand.”
The lines of his face were so hard. Like they were carved out of diamonds. The only thing that had any life, any heat were his eyes. Burning. Glittering.
“Getting close to you was easy. Every woman likes a bad boy, don’t they? Especially rich, pampered little girls like you.”
The cold reached her heart, freezing tendrils wrapping around it. Slowing her breathing. Chilling her blood. “I … You didn’t want me?”
He looked so cold. As cold as she felt. As cold as the snow at her feet.
“No,” he said flatly. “I never did.”
* * *
It hurt to kill the blue spark in her eyes. To make them darken. To see her face go pale. All her precious, vital warmth fade.
It was a lie but it was a necessary one. Because how else could he make her leave? She’d promised she’d stay with him and she couldn’t. Not if he wanted to take down whoever his father turned out to be.
Fuck, he’d been certain of Tremain’s guilt. But when the man had denied his involvement, he’d been forced to believe him. He knew a lie when he saw one and Tremain wasn’t lying.
He’d been chasing the wrong guy for weeks.
The shock was still echoing through him, the ground he’d been so sure of now broken beneath his feet. And all he could think of was how he’d thought that this was the end, that once he’d confronted Tremain he could finally get some peace, put down the intolerable burden of his anger.
But it wasn’t the end. There would be no end until he had the name of his father. Until he had what he craved. Justice.
Yet he couldn’t have that and keep Honor safe. He couldn’t have both after all. And if she wouldn’t leave him, then he’d have to make her. Push her away and ensure she never came back.
The sapphires around her neck glittered in the cold light from the streetlight. “You never wanted me?” she demanded. “Never?”
He steeled himself. “No. Never. You were always a means to an end.”
It hurt to say it. Hurt more than he’d ever thought possible. And he didn’t really understand why. He’d ended things with lovers before and it hadn’t felt this painful.
She’s more than a mere lover and you know it.
No, he didn’t know. He didn’t know anything anymore. The only thing he was sure about was that she had to leave and if he had to hurt her to get her to do so, then he would.
Jesus, he’d hurt so many people in his life, she’d be just one more.
And sure enough, pain flared in her eyes, bright and sharp. And he felt it slide into his heart like a piece of glass, cutting him. “I don’t believe you.”
He didn’t want to move, wanted to keep the warmth of her close, and pushing her away felt like the hardest thing he’d ever done. But he made himself do it. “Believe it.”
She stood still, leaning back against the wall, her eyes wide with shock. Small and pale and fragile as porcelain. And the sharp, unfamiliar pain wound around his heart like barbed wire.
Then something glowed in her face, something brighter than hurt. Anger. “You fucking liar, Gabriel Woolf,” she said in a clear, calm voice.
Before he could move, she launched herself at him, her arms around his neck, pulling his mouth down on hers. Hot and hungry, aggressive in a way she’d never been aggressive before. Demanding a response. A response his body gave her before he’d had a chance to stop it.
He shoved her back against the brick, kissing her back with all the demand she’d shown him. Because the pain wouldn’t stop and he was so sick of hurting. Of feeling cold. Of being angry. He wanted heat. Passion. The softness of her, the gentleness of her. The beauty of her. The loyalty and friendship of her.
Wanted just one second when he could be free of the burden of his whole miserable fucking existence. Where she was the only thing that mattered.
He lost himself in her taste. The heat of her mouth beneath his, the softness of her body against him. The only beauty in a life where beauty had been painfully absent.
“You do want me,” she murmured against his mouth. “You damn liar.”
Of course, she was right. He was a liar. Another sin to add to the rest, staining him black down to his bones.
He didn’t speak, crushing her mouth under his, pressing against her heat, feeling her arms around his neck, holding him as tightly as he was holding her. Teeth against his lip, a sharp bite that had him growling in the back of his throat. A punishment. Well, fuck yes, he deserved her punishment.
Her hand moved between their shaking bodies, down to where he was hard and aching, tracing the outline of his cock. She tore her mouth away from his and murmured in his ear, “You want me, little boy?” Squeezing him. Sending jolts of electricity right through him. “You want me to fuck you up against this wall? Right here? Right now?”
“Yes.” He couldn’t stop the shudder that went through him as she stroked his raging hard-on, her fingers tantalizing.
“Beg me, Gabriel.” Her voice held an edge he’d never heard before. “Tell me how much you want me to fuck you and I just might.”
You fucking idiot. You’ve let her get to you.
But Gabriel shoved the voice from his head. He wanted this moment and he was going to have it. Because after tonight it would never happen again.
“Please,” he said hoarsely. “Please, Honor.”
“Tell me you lied. Tell me you want me.”
He lifted his head, stared into her eyes so she’d see the truth. “I want you. From the moment you got into my limo, I wanted you. And I told myself it was because of Tremain but it wasn’t. You were beautiful, sexy, and challenging. And all I could think about was what it would feel like to be inside you.”
There was blue fire in her eyes, burning bright. “Then get out your condom. Now.”
He reached into his back pocket, pulled out his wallet. There was a condom in there and it he took it out. But she was the one who ripped it open, who unzipped his fly and freed him from his boxers. She was the one who protected him.
She didn’t seem to care they were in an alleyway, that the public street was right there. But he did. He moved them deeper into the shadows then closed the space between them. For all her hard demand, she was trembling and when he ran a hand up her thigh, under her dress, and slipped it between her legs, he felt her wetness. Her heat. He stroked her, looking down into her eyes. They were black in the shadows. Full of secrets.
He wanted to know what those secrets were. Wanted to spend weeks, months, years finding out. But he would never get the chance.
“I always wanted you,” she whispered, her voice ragged as he eased a finger into her, testing her, her flesh slick and hot. “Even though you irritated me. Even though you were so damn arrogant I wanted to spit. But I loved your strength. I loved that you didn’t care what people thought of you. And…” She stopped. “I loved your honesty.”
“Don’t.” He leaned forward, kissing her mouth. “There’s nothing honest about me. You were right. I’m a liar.”
She gasped as he circled his thumb over her clit. “No … you’ve only ever told me one lie. That you didn’t want me.”
She didn’t know. She didn’t truly understand. All he was, all he’d ever done, was lie. To his mother when he’d promised he wouldn’t come after his father. To his friends that he wouldn’t hurt Honor. To himself that this was all for his mother. For justice.
Because it wasn’t.
It was for himself. For the shitty life he’d led. The responsibility his mother had dumped on him when she’d told him he was the child of rape. The responsibility for fixing what had been done to her, because that’s what he did. He fixed things.
Because he was so fucking angry at all the world and didn’t know how else to get rid of it all.
He lifted her leg around his waist, pulled aside her panties, and pinned her to the wall. Then he thrust deep into the molten heat of her. She gasped, her eyes going wide, never taking her gaze from his. “Yes … oh, God … yes.”
He framed his hands around her face. Her precise features flushed with heat and passion. He was shaking and he couldn’t seem to stop.
“Gabriel…” She arched against him, rocking her hips, wanting him to move.
But he didn’t want to. If he moved, this would end and he didn’t want it to end. Because he’d never find this again. She knew everything there was to know about him and despite the fact that he was tainted, that he was full of violence and rage, she still put her arms around him. Held him close. Made him feel like he was worth something.
He closed his eyes. Bent his head and turned his face into Honor’s throat. Inhaling sweetness and musk. Letting the warmth of her chase away everything he was. Then he moved because it was physically impossible not to.
She was so hot, her body giving and soft and yet so tight around him, pleasure unfurling inside him, bright and so fucking sharp it hurt.
He moved and kept on moving, deaf and blind to anything but the woman in his arms. Yes, it was painful but this was the kind of pain that he wanted, that he craved. So sweet. Purer than the cold anger, the detachment.
Better than the justice …
But he couldn’t think of that now. He couldn’t think of anything as the world began to narrow to an exquisite aching point of tension.
“Honor,” he whispered, thrusting deep one last time, feeling her shudder and gasp, her body convulsing around him as the climax roared through him, too.
Afterward he had to stand still for a long time, his heartbeat struggling to normalize. Once it had, he couldn’t bear to move. Only wanted to stay there, holding her trembling body against him.
But this was a cold, dark alley and there were people around, and if he didn’t let her go now, he never would.
Gabriel lifted his head, looked down into her face. There was a tear in the corner of one eye, sparkling like the jewels around her neck.
His heartbeat faltered.
“You know I love you, don’t you?” she said.
His heart stopped.
Everything stopped.
He shoved himself away from her, breathing fast. Something inside him shifted, a need he’d been trying to ignore for a long time, that had been growing larger and larger, a constant, desperate ache. It made him feel like he couldn’t get enough air and he couldn’t understand why.
“No,” he said flatly. “No. You can’t.”
Pain darkened her eyes. “But I do. I think I’ve been in love with you for a while now.”
“Stop fucking saying that.” He turned away from her, his hands shaking as he got rid of the condom and did his jeans up. His chest was so tight and he couldn’t breathe.
“Why?” Her voice was quiet. “What’s wrong with it?”
“Everything’s wrong with it!” Anger pulsed hot in his veins and he embraced it because it was familiar. Simple. Far simpler than the ache that leaned against his heart, that squeezed it until he felt he might break apart. “I told you what I am. All the things I’ve done. Didn’t you hear a single fucking word?”
“I heard.” The tear began to slide down her pale cheek, glittering. “And I don’t care what you’ve done. What you think you are. I know who you are already.”
The thing inside him squeezed so tight he wanted to claw it right out of his chest. “Don’t,” he said harshly. “Don’t say—”
“You’re a good man, Gabriel Woolf. Yes, you’re hard, but you’re also strong and protective. Complicated. Fascinating.”
His heartbeat thundered inside his head and he took a helpless step toward her, wanting her to shut up. To stop her saying the things he knew weren’t true. “Be quiet.”
She ignored him. “But I don’t want to watch you destroy yourself. I don’t want to see anger eat you up inside the way it’s doing right now.”
He bared his teeth in a savage kind of smile. “Did you ever think that maybe I want to destroy myself? That I might like being angry? I mean, Christ, what the fuck else do I have?”
Her gaze met his. “You have me.”
Something shattered inside him. Something he didn’t think he’d ever be able to rebuild. But he ignored the feeling. He had to ignore it. “Sorry, sweetheart.” He made himself say the words. “You’re not enough.”
Her mouth tightened, more pain glittering in her eyes. Yet still she didn’t look away. “Whether you believe it or not, there’s an amazing man inside you. But if you keep going down the path you’ve chosen, he’s not going to exist for too much longer.”
“I was never that man, Honor. He never fucking existed.”
The tear had left a long, silvery trail down her cheek. But her jaw was firm. Even now, when he was being a prick to her, she had so much strength. “Nothing I say is going to make any difference, is it?”
He met her gaze. Held it. “No.”
“And if I asked you to stop. If I asked you to let this go. For me. Would you?”
He didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say. They both knew the answer already.
Honor looked abruptly away, the jewels on the necklace he’d given her sparkling as she swallowed. Her lashes fluttered then she stepped away from the wall, smoothing down her dress, wiping away the tear. As if it had never been. “Well, at least I know where I stand then.”
Anger coursed through him, heavy and hot and he let it burn. Because that was easier, simpler than the pain he knew was waiting for him once she had gone. “I never promised you anything different,” he said harshly. “I never wanted it.”
The look she gave him was so full of sadness, so full of grief, he had to look away from her, unable to stand it.
“I know you didn’t want it,” she said quietly. “But God help me, you needed it and I wanted to give it to you.”
A pause. The silence choking.
“Good-bye, Gabriel. I hope you find the peace you’re looking for. Wherever that is.”
Peace? He didn’t want fucking peace. That had never been in his future.
Justice. That’s what he wanted. That’s all he wanted.
He made himself watch as Honor walked away.
And tried to tell himself he hadn’t just lost everything.
* * *
“We didn’t see anything,” Eva said as Honor pulled open the car door.
Which of course meant they’d seen everything, not that it mattered now.
Nothing mattered now.
She’d laid herself out for him, opened herself completely, hoping the fact that she loved him would be enough to stop him from continuing down the path he’d set himself on. But, of course, it wasn’t.
She hadn’t been enough to stop her father from taking his own life or to pull her mother out of her depression. Hadn’t been enough to make Alex stay. Why on earth had she expected she’d be enough to save Gabriel?
“Would you like me to kill him for you?” Zac said, his smooth English voice perfectly pleasant, as if asking if she’d like a cup of tea. “Because I can. It would be no trouble.”
“No, thank you,” Honor said, sliding into the backseat, pulling the door closed behind her. “He’s doing a good enough job on his own.”
In the rearview mirror she saw Eva’s gray eyes watching her.
She had no idea what the other woman saw in her face, but it must have been bad because Eva’s concern was obvious.
Honor folded her hands in her lap, quelled the trembling in her legs. Ignored the empty, hollow space where her heart should have been, now full of jagged shards of broken glass.
It had hurt more than she’d thought possible to walk away from him, yet the moment he’d refused to give up his quest for vengeance she’d known she had to. Because she knew an addict when she saw one. Gabriel was addicted to his quest and he wasn’t going to let anyone get in his way.
Perhaps another woman would have stayed, would have stuck by him no matter what choices he made. But she wasn’t that woman. She’d seen too many people she cared about destroy themselves to stand by and watch, and she certainly wasn’t going to feed his addiction by encouraging him.
She’d had no idea where the strength to leave him had come from, but she hoped it would stick around in the weeks and months to come. Because going cold turkey on Gabriel Woolf was going to be a bitch.
“I’d like you to take me home now, please,” she said.
As the car pulled away, she didn’t look back.