“We should probably talk about the rent,” Gavin said.

“What about it?” Blake asked. When she’d offered him the room a few days ago, she’d told Gavin how much it would be, and he’d happily agreed, especially since he wouldn’t have to pay until the following month. He said it was less than he’d been paying at his old place, and since he didn’t have any other options, he didn’t try to negotiate the price with her. “If you were thinking of paying me in sexual favors instead of cash, you should know that I’m broke. So as much as I’d like to agree to those terms, my bank account won’t let me.”

Gavin chuckled, taking a seat next to her on the plaid couch. He rubbed his hands over his thighs like he wasn’t sure he wanted to say whatever he’d been thinking.

“Gavin, please don’t tell me the rent’s too much now that you’ve already moved in. As much as I love your body, I have no problem inflicting some serious injuries to it if I need to.”

“No. No,” Gavin said. “The rent’s fine. But I wanted to talk about getting my name added to the lease if possible. It’s why I lost my other place. I was giving my roommate money and assuming he was using it to pay the rent. But then our landlord evicted us. Or him, I guess would be more accurate, because his name was the only one on any of the paperwork. I found out he had a bad drug habit, and that’s where all my money was going.” He looked up from where his stare had been fixated on a gray spot on the carpet. “I know it’s a shitty thing to ask because you seem nice and…not at all like a drug addict—”

“Whoa, slow down with the compliments, Casanova. You’re gonna make a girl blush.”

Gavin laughed, but Blake could tell it was out of embarrassment. It was cute. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that… It’s just that we don’t really know each other well, other than as coworkers, and since I got royally screwed over the last time, I need to make sure I protect myself. It’s nothing against you. I’d do this with anyone.”

“Would it make you feel better if I showed you my boobs?”

Gavin’s eyes widened. “What? Why would you want to—”

Blake shrugged. “You said we didn’t know each other well, so I figured it’d be a good way to begin to open up. Like an icebreaker of sorts,” she explained.

“Are you serious?” Gavin asked, clearly shocked by her offer. “You wanna get to know each other by stripping?”

“The thought may have crossed my mind on more than one occasion,” Blake said. “Oh, and to answer your question about getting your name on the lease, that’s totally fine. I completely get not wanting to trust someone you barely know. Although, it usually works the opposite way with me. The more I get to know someone, the less I trust them.”

“Really?” She could see the concern in his eyes, like he wanted her to elaborate but thought he probably shouldn’t ask her to. She was thankful for it.

“Yeah. People suck,” she answered casually. “In my experience anyway.” There was a moment between them where neither spoke, and all that could be heard was the buzz of the refrigerator. “But,” she said, trying to keep her voice light, “if you still wanna see my boobs, I’m totally game.”

Gavin coughed out a laugh. “You’re one of a kind, you know that?”

An amused smile crept over Blake’s face at his comment. “Yup,” she said with a nod.

* * *

“Oh my God,” Celeste said. “You’re totally gonna bang him. I know it. I can’t believe you haven’t already.”

“You don’t know anything,” Blake argued.

“Oh, I know this. His penis,” she said slowly as she inserted a finger through the fist of her other hand for effect, “is going to be in your vagina before the end of the week. I bet you five dollars.”

“You’re betting on my sex life?” Blake asked.

“It appears I am, yes. But my own life is clearly even sadder than we both originally thought, so I need to live vicariously.”

“He wouldn’t even look at my boobs. I mean seriously, what guy turns down an offer like that?”

“A sweet one,” Celeste replied.

Blake gave her friend an exaggerated laugh. “That means nothing. Even sweet guys are horny. There’s no logical explanation for why he wouldn’t want to see them other than the hypothesis I just now came up with.”

“Which is what? He’s gay?” Celeste grabbed Blake’s arm. “Please don’t tell me he’s gay! That’ll be devastating.”

“He’s not gay,” Blake assured her. “I already asked him that the first day I had to shadow him at work.”

“Oh. Good,” Celeste said, releasing her grip on Blake’s forearm. “Then what’s your explanation for it?”

Blake leaned back in her chair and stared out the window of the deli in sadness. “That he has a tiny dick.”

“What?” Celeste popped a potato chip into her mouth and took a sip of her soda. “That makes no sense.”

“It’s the only thing that makes sense,” Blake said, turning back to her friend. “Hear me out. He probably felt like if I showed him mine, he’d have to show me his. Otherwise he’d seem like a total perv who just wants to look at women’s boobs all day.”

“But that was your offer,” Celeste said.

“I know. But still. I think he would’ve felt obligated to return the favor. Or at least offer to. What other reason would he have to not want to show me? It’s gotta be small. Like microscopic, Celeste. Because guys show their junk to anybody who wants to look. And also to anybody who doesn’t wanna look,” she added as an afterthought. “Remember that guy on the subway who kept flashing people but claimed it wasn’t indecent exposure because he had it covered with a banana peel?”

Celeste sighed in what Blake identified as defeat. “As much as it pains me to admit it, you might be onto something here.”

“Thank you,” Blake said, pleased with herself.

“But that could just mean that he didn’t want you to see his little man in the light. You know…where you could evaluate its size and shape and all that. That logic doesn’t transfer to fucking. All guys fuck if they get the opportunity. Doesn’t matter what they look like or how minuscule their dongs are. If someone offers to fuck them, they fuck. Besides, maybe he grows more than shows.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Blake admitted.

“Of course I’m right,” Celeste said. “Every guy fucks.”

Blake took a look around the diner at the people surrounding them. “Okay,” Blake said. “I’m choosing to believe you only because believing you results in me having sex with Gavin. Who I’m still imagining has a huge cock until I find out otherwise.”

“Good,” Celeste said. “I’m glad that’s settled.”

“Me too,” said a partially balding man who’d been sitting on the other side of Celeste at the counter. Blake hadn’t even noticed him until he’d spoken. His rounded shoulders made him look…puffy, and his voice didn’t sound much deeper than her own. He reminded Blake of someone who might’ve worked on Best Buy’s Geek Squad. “But if it doesn’t work out with this Gavin guy,” he said, “give me a call.” Then he stood, and on the way to throw out his trash, he slipped Blake his number on a napkin and added, “Because I fuck too.”

Blake picked up the napkin at the corner with two fingers like it might have been laced with some sort of drug that would result in her winding up in the trunk of a car with no recollection of how she got there.

“At least now you have a Plan B,” Celeste said, causing them both to burst out into fits of laughter.