Chapter 6
It took Gabe several days to let Chloe leave the house, and a few more to allow her a tour of his property. She finally started getting antsy. Her confusion had given way to grief, and finally to acceptance. It was impossible to change what had happened in the past, but she had her entire future in front of her.
Chloe wanted to experience all of the things she’d denied herself, live a life free of fear and guilt. “I want to see the ranch now,” she told Gabe calmly.
They were seated for breakfast, both of them finished and lingering over coffee, which had become their habit over the last few days. Gabe had a cook who came in for breakfast and dinner, and a crew who came in weekly to clean and do laundry. She assumed he usually skipped lunch, but he’d made certain to make them a sandwich or something simple around noon.
So far, he hadn’t let her lift a damn finger to help.
Chloe couldn’t say all of the time had been wasted. She’d been with Gabe every day, going over each one of the horses on the farm, their pedigree, his breeding techniques and his plans. It wasn’t a commercial breeding ranch, or even close. Gabe bred the best to the best for various purposes. One thing that made his ranch unique was that he didn’t have to worry about making large profits. When a guy was one of the richest men in the world, he could afford to do something just because he loved it. He could sustain breaking even for as long as he needed to keep breeding his best horses to other phenomenal horses to produce outstanding foals. His horses were in demand, but he was picky about who he sold to.
One of the things she’d come to admire about Gabe was that his ranch was his passion, not his business.
“I don’t think you’re ready,” he told her stubbornly.
She’d heard those exact same words every morning for the last five days.
“I’m ready. I feel better than I ever have, and I just got checked yesterday. The doctor said I can resume all normal activity,” she argued, loving his protectiveness and also resenting it just a little. “I can’t sit around anymore, Gabe. I’m bored. I’ve busted my ass to get through school for over ten years. I’m not used to being idle, and I don’t like it.”
“Are you starting to get sassy with me?” he asked with a lopsided grin as he met her gaze, his Texas drawl more pronounced.
His jade eyes sparked with humor, and as usual, his hair was naturally wavy with a mind of its own, making him almost impossible to resist.
But she wasn’t capitulating this time.
“I think I have to be,” she told him firmly, knowing if it were up to him, she’d be inside for weeks. “Look, I’m fine. You know I’m fine. Let me start doing my job now.”
The dining room was silent as Gabe appeared to be debating. Chloe could see the contemplative expression on his face. Really, he was her boss, and he had the right to tell her if he wanted her to work or not. But she knew this wasn’t a power play for him. He was genuinely concerned about her.
“Okay,” he finally said with a slow nod. “But we aren’t going to hike the ranch. Are you able to ride?”
Chloe smiled at him. “Of course.” She’d grown up on a horse, and had even done some amateur barrel racing when she was a teen. Her love for all things equine had been her motivation for doing an additional residency to feel comfortable taking care of horses. This was exactly the job she’d always wanted.
This position was her dream one. She loved taking care of all animals, but horses were her passion as much as they were Gabe’s. She’d taken the position at the clinic in town to decide what she really wanted to do, and to see if caring for the area horses in addition to small pets would be enough for her. Working every day with horses without having to leave Rocky Springs was the perfect opportunity.
“Okay. You ready?” Gabe asked a little unhappily.
Chloe hopped out of her chair with lightning speed. “Yes!”
“Don’t worry about pulling on boots right now. We’ll be riding.”
Chloe sprinted to her room and put on a pair of old sneakers, shoes that had seen plenty of barns and stables. Gabe had arranged for all of her belongings to be brought to the ranch, and she’d stored pretty much everything except her clothing. Not that she had a whole lot. She’d planned on buying new things once she bought a home. Most everything she had right now was either useful or sentimental.
“Put on a jacket!” Gabe bellowed from down the hall.
Chloe smiled. It wasn’t exactly cold. Fall in Colorado was unpredictable, but they were seeing unseasonably warm weather. She dug a fleece jacket out of the closet and pulled it on, wondering when Gabe was going to stop treating her like she was as fragile as blown glass.
They met in the hall. Gabe was just leaving his room in a pair of work boots with Chase right on his heels. Despite his orders to her, he was wearing a flannel shirt and jeans…minus a jacket.
“Where’s your hat?” Chloe asked curiously, noticing that she hadn’t seen Gabe in his old Stetson since she’d been here.
“Don’t have it anymore,” he answered, looking uncomfortable.
“I kind of think you could afford to buy a new one,” she teased.
He shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the same. It was Dad’s. He gave it to me. I’ve had it since I was a kid.”
All thoughts of joking with him fled immediately. “I’m sorry. It must have been difficult to lose something that was so special. What happened?”
She followed Gabe as he walked down the stairs. He was silent until he reached the bottom. “I lost it in a pen with a new stallion. He was nervous and trampled the shit out of it until it was shredded all to hell.”
“Were you hurt?” Chloe asked, concerned. A nervous stallion and man were not a good mix in close proximity to each other.
“Naw. But the hat didn’t survive.” He shot her a grin over his shoulder.
She smiled in spite of her attempts not to be amused by his comment. “I really am sorry. It hurts to lose something that sentimental.”
“Hey, I survived. Dad’s been gone a long time. Maybe it was past time for me to stop trying to be him,” Gabe answered frankly.
Chloe grasped his bicep instinctively, causing him to turn around and look at her. “Were you trying to be your dad?” Chloe remembered Gabe’s father, and he’d been larger than life, a big man who hadn’t been afraid to voice his opinions loudly. Chloe remembered how well Gabe’s father could tell a joke, and how outgoing he’d always been.
“I think maybe I was. I felt guilty for a long time about selling off most of his business interests. But oil and cattle weren’t something I was good at managing.”
Chloe’s heart squeezed as she looked at Gabe’s earnest expression. “You don’t need to be anyone else, Gabe. You’re pretty damn good just the way you are.”
His eyes bored into her, and Chloe wanted to squirm as he stared at her. “You think so, beautiful?” he asked gruffly.
She swallowed, uncomfortable with his intense scrutiny. “Yes.”
“I’m not nearly as likeable as he was, and I’d rather run a horse ranch than continue his legacy.”
“You are who you are,” Chloe answered breathlessly as Gabe crowded her against the wall next to the door. Unfortunately, she thought she liked him just the way he was way too much.
“Exactly,” Gabe answered as he placed his hands on the wall, one on each side of her. “I finally figured that out when I threw that old hat away.” He paused before adding, “What do you need to throw away to find out who you are, Chloe Colter?”
She realized exactly what he was asking, but she didn’t have the answer. “I don’t know. I feel different since I broke things off with James, but it’s going to take awhile before I figure out what I really want. I’ve spent most of my adult life trying to make him happy, and I never succeeded.”
“You shouldn’t have to try, Chloe,” Gabe rasped, his warm breath wafting over her cheek as he leaned into her. “You just have to be you.”
She wanted to ask him what he meant, but before she could speak, his masculine scent assaulted her senses, and her core clenched in a volatile physical reaction she’d never experienced before.
Oh, God. He smells so good, feels so amazing.
She knew he was going to kiss her, and she didn’t make a single move to stop him. In fact, some long dormant inner voice told her to stop fighting her attraction to him and let herself…feel.
His mouth came down on hers dominantly, but so sensually that she moaned against his lips. She opened to him almost immediately, savoring the taste of passion in his embrace. He plundered her like a man possessed, his tongue taking control of her mouth as he swept inside as though he was desperate for a taste of her.
Chloe was a woman of limited experience, her only intimate contact being with James. What Gabe was doing to her body now was so very different, so enticing that she couldn’t resist. She’d never thought of herself as a sexual female, and most of the time she dreaded sex. James had seldom demanded it anymore, making it clear that her overweight body didn’t appeal to him.
The only time he ever wanted to screw me was to assert his control.
It had nearly always hurt in one way or another, and she was convinced she could probably go the rest of her life without experiencing it again.
I think I was wrong. So very wrong.
Her nipples hardened as Gabe breached any distance between them, his muscular body flush with hers. Her entire being felt like it was on fire as Gabe lifted his mouth from hers and started a trail of pleasurable sensation down the sensitive skin of her neck with his lips.
Unlike their shared kiss on New Year’s Eve, she didn’t feel uptight. In fact, she’d never felt anything that felt so right. Gabe wasn’t intoxicated, so he knew exactly what he was doing. It made the experience that much more satisfying.
“Jesus, Chloe. I can’t take this anymore,” he growled against her skin.
“Then stop.” She was panting uncontrollably, her body quivering with need.
“I fucking can’t. I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you after you came back home.”
It was a heady thing to hear a man admit how much he’d wanted her. And Chloe knew he wasn’t playing her. She could feel the intensity of his need, and her emotions and body were responding. “I’ve never felt this way,” she admitted, almost confused by her desire to rip off Gabe’s clothes and climb all over him.
He grasped her ponytail and tilted her head to meet his eyes. “Never?” he questioned huskily.
She shook her head, fascinated by the hungry look on his face. “Never,” she told him, her voice a little stronger. “It felt good when you kissed me on New Year’s Eve, but I knew you’d been drinking. And I felt guilty because I was still with James. That night was the moment I realized I couldn’t marry him. You were right.”
“Baby, I wasn’t drunk. I knew exactly what I was doing both then and now, and it gets better than this,” he replied in a graveled voice. “You were engaged for years.”
“It didn’t feel like this,” she confessed. “It…hurt and I didn’t like it.”
Embarrassed that a woman her age was telling a man like Gabe about her miserable sex life, she speared her hands through his hair and pulled his head down. He let her, and he covered her mouth again for another fiery kiss.
His hands came away from the wall and wrapped around her body, his fingers seeking and finding the bare skin of her back beneath her sweatshirt and jacket.
Chloe shivered as his fingers moved along her body, as though he were trying to touch every inch of naked skin he could find.
His touch left every nerve ending in her body tingling, and his assault on her mouth was relentless, driving her nearly insane with need.
“Gabe,” she moaned as he finally lifted his head, not sure what she was asking him for.
His hands stilled and he pulled her against him tightly.
“I have to stop, Chloe. If I don’t do it now, I won’t do it at all.” His voice was low and full of regret, his breathing harsh.
She rested her head against his chest, waiting for her breathing to slow and heart to stop galloping like a racehorse. It was almost physically painful when he untangled their bodies and stepped back.
“I’m not apologizing for that,” Gabe said in a dangerous voice.
“Don’t,” she agreed hastily. “I don’t want you to regret something like that.” It was too good, too real. If he said he was sorry, it would spoil the moment, and it was another revelation for her. She didn’t feel guilty or sorry like she had when he’d kissed her on New Year’s.
She felt somehow…freed.
“Hell, I don’t regret it. I just hate the fact that I can’t try to seduce you completely.” He speared her with a gaze full of longing and desire.
“Why?” she asked curiously. Chloe wasn’t sure she was ready for a full onslaught of Gabe, but she wondered why he hesitated if he really wanted her.
“You just broke off an engagement to an asshole, you had a miscarriage not long ago, and you’re my best friend’s little sister. I think that’s reason enough. I’d be a complete dick if I pushed this any further right now.” He hesitated before adding, “But I don’t think I can ever regret touching you, Chloe. It feels too damn good.”
There was complete silence in the room as their eyes met and held, Chloe’s heart aching as she looked at him. She’d made a total mess of her personal life, judged all men and relationships by the one man she’d ever known intimately. None of Gabe’s concerns were valid except that it was too soon for her to leap back into an emotional fire. Her miscarriage was over and the doctor had cleared her completely. It was none of her brother, Blake’s—or any of her brothers’ for that matter—business who his grown sister chose to be intimate with if they both wanted it. Still, Gabe was hesitant to hurt her psyche any more than it was already damaged, and that touched her more than any of his other reasons.
“It’s none of Blake’s business what I do, and I’m perfectly fine physically. But I’m messed up emotionally, Gabe. I’m working on straightening myself out, but you don’t need that in your life,” Chloe told him sadly.
He shook his head slowly, thoughtfully. “You’re going to be okay, Chloe. You’re strong.”
She smiled at him weakly. “Not yet, but I think I will be.” Suddenly, Chloe knew that someday, she would be okay. “Show me the ranch if you’re not going to take me to bed.”
Gabe’s expression turned dark. “Don’t push me, woman. I don’t have that much control.”
Gabe Walker was full of crap. He had kindness, honor, and integrity. “You’ll live,” she told him teasingly.
He took her hand and pulled it to his body, centering it right over his hard cock. “You’re going to make it hell to ride a horse,” he complained.
Chloe tentatively traced the large erection straining the zipper of his jeans. “Because of me?” Entranced, she squeezed him gently.
“You’re my damn obsession, Chloe, my fantasy. Hell yes, it’s because of you,” Gabe growled, pulling her hand away from his crotch and hanging onto it as he led her out the door. “Let’s go before I change my mind.”
Chloe let him tug her out the door, too shocked by the thought of being any man’s fantasy to say a single word.