I may not be completely over being left in the dark. That was another month added to the time I wasn’t allowed to be a father to my little girl. Another month lost that I can’t get back. And a month Everly must have been confused. Hell, the kid is probably still confused.

But no more. Starting tomorrow, I plan on making up as much time as humanly possible.

We’re lying in my bed in my old bedroom. There’s a comfortable silence between us. My head is propped against two thick pillows, and Whitney is snuggled in my arms with her head on my bare chest, and her thigh draped over and tucked between my legs.

I know she doesn’t realize just how right her being here makes my world. Her presence settles me. It always did. Most people didn’t get that I knew she was the one when I was fifteen-years-old. Everyone thought I was crazy and dumb. I don’t think it happens often, but I’m proof that it is possible to find the other half of your soul when you’re still a kid.

I could stay mad at her for what she did. I get it. I do. I don’t like it, but I get it. And what would be the point in dwelling on something neither one of us can change. We have the here and now and our future. And I’ll be damned if the three of them are taken from me ever again. There is no Hell I wouldn’t go through just to know they are mine until the day I die.

“Whit?”

I place my hand on top of where hers is resting flat against my chest, over my heart.

She lifts her head, tipping it back to look up at me. “Yeah?”

Before I’m able to open my mouth, my cell phone chimes, alerting me of an incoming text message. I lean over, moving Whitney with me to reach over her to grab my cell phone from the nightstand.

It’s a message from Kylie. When I open it, I see she’s sent a video. She was supposed to FaceTime me tonight, but I guess she changed her mind.

Leaning back down, I get comfortable and hit play.

“Hey.” There’s a pause, then she looks away from her phone briefly. Toward the sky, I’m guessing by the angle of her head. After a second, her face comes back into focus on the video. “So I know I said we’d FaceTime after I got off, but as you can see I chickened out. Plus, you got all your crap going on, and well, this is probably better. Happy Thanksgiving.” She laughs, but there isn’t an ounce of humor in her voice. “I said it. I’ve said it a lot to patients all day today and haven’t meant it once. That’s awful, isn’t it?”

A tear drops, rolling quickly down her cheek, making my chest tighten. I hate that she’s alone in a city too far away for me to drive over just to give my friend the hug I know she needs.

“I know I’m being ungrateful for everything I have, but there isn’t anything I’m thankful for. And happy?” She snorts. “Fuck happiness.” She stares at the screen, her eyes on the camera. “See why I didn’t want to call live?” She blinks, and more tears cascade down.

Ah, hell. The weight piles back on my chest; taking root and cementing itself at center mass.

Wiping her face using the back of her hand, she blinks a few times to sniffles.

“And you can stop whatever it is you’re feeling about this video too. I know you. And I know you’re feeling guilty. You don’t even realize you’re feeling guilty, but I do, and I’m not even seeing those eyes of yours. I just know you.” There’s a second or two pause before she continues. “Deep down I am happy for you and I’m happy you have her back, but at this moment I can’t fathom one shred of happiness for myself, so . . .” She trails, not finishing, and I get what she’s saying about me feeling guilty, because I do feel for her when she’s hurting so badly. But I’ve waited too long to get Whitney back. Kylie and I have wallowed in sorrow together for a long time. It’s time for me to be happy—I have a second chance. I’m not letting anyone, not even my best friend, make me feel guilty for having her in my arms.

Of course, it helps to know that wasn’t Kylie’s intent. She just can’t see any amount of sunshine right now. She may never see it again. I hope that’s not the case, but I’ve been where she is. At least on some level, I do. I know what it’s like to lose the person you love most and think you’ll never get them back.

“Anyway, I still want to talk to you. Tell you I miss you. Tell you I wish you were here instead of there. You know what I mean. Tell Whit I said, ‘hi’ and I’m thinking about all of you. I love you, Shaney. Tell her, I love her too. I’m not sure I’ve shown her that yet. I will, though. I promise. Night. Oh, and let’s never bring this crap up. Kay.”

The video ends, and I click the phone off without replying. I’ll text her back in the morning. Reaching over Whit, I place the phone back on my nightstand, sitting it next to hers.

As I lie back down, I see Love grinding her teeth. A smile breaks out that I can’t hold back.

“Are you jealous?” I laugh, unable to help myself, knowing I’m right.

“I don’t know? Am I the crap in your life? According to her, I am.” She moves off me, settling her head on the pillow next to mine and crossing her arms.

I’m stunned for all of a minute, watching her sulk. This is uncharacteristic of the girl I once knew. Then again, she isn’t a girl anymore. She’s a woman. A beautiful, sexy as sin, woman that will hold my heart in the palm of her hand until the day I take my last breath. Probably even after that.

“Love,” I draw out, waiting for her to look at me. When she does, I continue. “I see what it looks like. But you know Ky. And if you think about it for two seconds then you know why she’s coming across that way.”

“No, Shane, I don’t know. I haven’t known her in years. A decade,” she bites out. “And people can change in that amount of time.”

I breathe hard, not wanting to talk about Trent but knowing I need to make her understand.

“Less than a year ago, her world, her future, was ripped away from her in a blink of an eye. One minute she was happy, in love, and planning a future. The next she was alone. Kylie has never been alone in her entire life. She has never been without affection. You gotta remember how touchy-feely she was and how much she craved physical touch?” I pause, letting my words sink in. Eventually, she nods. “She craves attention; not in a bad way. She doesn’t want me like that. But she does want something familiar; something she can cling to for a little while longer. She hasn’t actually dealt with Trent’s death. She’ll only talk to me about him, and even then, she’s closed off and distant with her feelings.”

Whitney is quiet for longer than I expect. The jealousy has been wiped from her face, but something still remains. Something . . . sad. Something I want to crush and make disappear.

“I know all too well the things Kylie is feeling. And I owe her a lot.” That makes Love’s face turn; her eye’s flicking up to mine, wanting me to continue. “The first semester of college I’d show up for my classes, mostly, but I didn’t participate. I couldn’t tell you now, what any class was about. I don’t remember them. The only reason I passed those classes was because Kylie did all my assignments. I probably flunked my exams. My parents tried to get me to take off a year, but I refused. I couldn’t come home. I couldn’t be there and be alone.”

“Why did this happen to us?” Before I can respond she spouts out another question. “What were you going to say before she texted?”

Is she ready to hear this? I hope so, because I’m going all in.

“I need to know this is forever. No bullshit. Your parents nor anyone else can make you doubt us—this.” I grab her hand, interlocking our fingers and squeezing tight, just before the point of causing her pain. I need her to know I want us solid, whole, unbreakable.

“You forgive me for keeping that from you?”

“Yes. And you knew that before those words ever left your mouth. I can be mad. I can be hurt and still want you. Still love you.”

“I believe in us. I want us, too.” She squeezes my hand back. “Forever.”

Leaning down, I cover her mouth with my own, kissing her and making damn sure she feels everything coursing through my body. My dick twitches, coming to life and needing to be inside her. If I could live inside her forever, I would.

She drives me mad in both good ways and bad. But there’s no one that’s ever made me feel a shred of the things she does.

* * *

“You know I have plenty of leftovers from yesterday. I wish you would take some with you.”

I look up from where I’m posted against the railing on my parents’ front porch to see my mom pursing her lips at me as she steps out of the house.

“And it’s better served by taking it to the homeless shelter in town, Mom.” She was already going to do that anyway. I don’t know why she’s so insistent on making sure I’m fed.

“Fine.” She closes the door behind her. “Have you thought any more on what your dad suggested last night?”

“No.” I deadpan. “I haven’t had time, but I will.” She looks at me like only a mom can do, silently telling me I better. “I promise, Mother.”

“You know if there is anything you need, anything at all, you just have to ask, Shane.”

“I’m good. We’re good.” I nod my head to the yard, making her look that way where Whit and the girls are waiting for me.

“I’m sure you are, but I know you have to get ready for your boards in July. I remember how stressful that can be, and if there is anything your dad and I can do to make your life—their life—less stressful, then we’re here and willing to help wherever we can.”

“You had a husband and two kids by the time you and dad were finishing residency. I got this, Mom. Stop worrying.”

“I’ll never stop worrying, Shane. It’s impossible. You’ll understand soon enough. Being a parent is the hardest and scariest thing you’ll ever experience in life.” She smiles. “You’ll find out soon enough what I mean. It’s also the most amazing and wonderful thing you’ll experience.”

A scream from the yard makes me twist around, ready to charge whatever has Emersyn in a fit.

“No,” she hollers. “I don’t wanna go.” Her arms tighten around Everly’s leg like she’s holding on for dear life. “I’m not going without Evlee.”

Blake.

It’s his weekend with her. That’s where we are headed as soon as we leave my parents. Even though the fucker has joint custody, because he works and Whitney doesn’t, she’s able to keep Emersyn during the week and only having to part with her every other weekend.

Even that’s too much.

Whitney grabs Emersyn, attempting to pull her off her sister, but by the looks of it, she’s not succeeding.

My mother’s laugh catches my attention, making me turn to face her once again.

“What’s so funny?”

“Just remembering you and Shawn when y’all were kids. The only difference between them and you and your brother is that Everly doesn’t mind Emersyn hanging all over her. Yet,” she adds. “When Trent came along you no longer wanted to play with Shawn.”

“Thanks, Mom. Way to make me feel like crap.” Not that I don’t already for what I said last night.

“Bud, that’s what siblings do. Some are inseparable; others aren’t. Some even can’t stand each other. No pair is alike, just like all people aren’t the same. Every human being is unique and different in some way, and that’s what makes us all special in God’s eyes. I wish we humans understood that more.”

“I agree with you. Now give your favorite son a hug before I leave.” That gets a chuckle out of her as she shakes her head. I embrace my mother, knowing I’m not her favorite because she doesn’t truly have a favorite. But I know and she knows, she’s closer relationship-wise to my little brother just like I’m closer to my dad than Shawn is.

“I love you, Bud.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

Pulling away, she looks out into the front yard where Whitney is still trying to pull Emersyn off her sister.

The kid has determination. I’ll give her that.

“Take care of them.” She turns, looking back at me with a more serious look.

“You doubt me?” I have a hard time believing that.

“Of course not. It’s just . . .” She trails, her head rolling to look back at them again.

“It’s just what?”

Her eyes rise to meet mine, showing me she’s worried. Maybe even border-lining fear. “I have a bad feeling is what.”

“Stop worrying, Mom. Jacob will get everything straightened out eventually.” At least I hope so. Wednesday is the court hearing for their divorce, and I won’t be able to attend. I can’t take off with others already scheduled off.

She places her palm on my shoulder as she turns to head back inside but pauses, looking over her shoulder at me. “I had this same feeling before my best friend took her life, Shane. It’s not a good feeling, and I thought, back then, if I had done something maybe Lynn would still be here.” She breathes, visibly trying to hold back tears that want to fall. “I don’t want anything to happen to those three, or you, Bud. Just be careful okay?”

“Okay, Mom.” I don’t know why she’s that worried. I would never take my own life, and I know Whitney wouldn’t either. We’ve just gotten each other back. We have a future now, and I’m not letting anything jeopardize that.

When the door to my parents’ house closes, I pull out my phone from the inside of my jean pocket and shoot a text to my brother.

Me: Call me when you get up.

Almost immediately I see the delivered notification under my message turn to read, but after waiting, he doesn’t respond, prompting me to type out another one.

Me: When you decide to stop sulking like a 5 year old, call me.

Shawn: Fuck you.

I get out of the text app and call my brother. It rings once but then goes to voicemail telling me he declined the call.

Shaking my head, I hammer out another text.

Me: I don’t want to apologize in a text. Call me.

Shawn: AGAIN, FUCK YOU.

God, he makes me want to kick his ass.

I’m about to call him again when something tackles my leg.

Looking down, Emersyn starts trying to climb my leg. I quickly pocket my phone.

“Emersyn Rose,” Whitney scolds.

Bending, I grab her under her armpit and the back of her leg, pulling her up and anchoring her to my side. She’s profusely shaking her head from side to side. “Don’t make me go, Shaney. I don’t wanna.” She wraps her arms around my neck and buries her little face in my neck, making my heart crack because I don’t want her to go to her father’s any more than she obviously doesn’t want to go.

Something has to be done. It’s not right that he has joint custody, or hell, any rights at all.

I squeeze her. “Em,” I began as Whitney steps up to the front patio. I shake my head, silently telling her to let me handle this. “Look at me, monkey.”

“No,” she refuses. “Momma’s making me go, and it’s not fair. Evlee doesn’t have to.”

“It’s only for two nights. And I’ll personally come pick you up on Sunday.” Whitney’s eyes widen, clearly not liking that idea. I don’t care though, not about that. It’s high time I give that motherfucker a piece of my mind.

I raise an eyebrow, letting her know I don’t want to hear any arguments. She huffs in response. Tough shit.

Emersyn pulls back, looking me in the eyes as crocodile tears fall from each eye. “Promise?”

“Yes, monkey. I promise.”

“Fine,” she pouts and then sniffles as she lays her head down on my shoulder.

“Let’s go,” I say to Whitney. Then I wait for her to descend the stairs, following behind her to my Tahoe.

Jacob is going to have to figure out a way to get Blake Lane out of our lives one way or another.