Kit made a damn list. On top of the one left to her by her dead cousin. A list of the list and a fucking schedule. I was tempted to crumple “my copy” between my fingers as I glanced down at it.

“This will keep us on schedule. Every weekend that we don’t film. Without fail until the list is done. Agreed?”

I’d half expected her to spit in her hand before she offered it to me for a shake. But Kit was funny, not goofy, and though the list was damn redundant, it somehow made her feel better. I had gotten a little freaked when I read that stupid list. Especially when it came to the kiss and the sex part. I couldn’t get my head wrapped around the last item.

Fall in love.

Fuck me.

The low grunt I made must have alerted the waitress, and the tiny redhead turned toward me, a ready grin waiting as she pushed a hip against her tray.

“You want another one, gorgeous?” She took my nod, offering a wink that made her heavily wrinkled eyelid twitch, and then sashayed away. Crystal. Good lady. The sort of woman who had spent a lifetime slinging beer in the shiftiest looking water holes imaginable. But this place, Lucky’s, had been my home away from home since we got stuck in Ashford for this project. The town was nice enough, but small. Nothing like the life I led in Tacoma or even Seattle, where I grew up. But Lucky’s had a good staff, and the lights were low. Worked wonders when you wanted to keep a low profile.

“Why are you sulking?”

Home away from home, but not away from my brother.

“Don’t start,” I told him, pushing his chair back when he hovered too long. Crystal set a Guinness in front of me, then squinted at my brother. The asshole smiled, standing too close to the old lady, but she didn’t back down.

“I guess you want that domestic shit? Bud or Miller?”

“I’m a Blue Moon man, actually.” Kiel laughed at the waitress when she clicked her tongue at him, disgusted, walking behind her a half a step as she headed toward the bar. “Crystal, run away with me. I’ll treat you so good.” He thought a lot of himself, hitting on anything that wiggled just right. But Crystal wasn’t buying it. She shot Kiel the finger, calling him something not many would have the stones to as she disappeared toward the cooler.

“Leave the old woman alone and sit.” He caught the chair when I pushed it again with my foot, but he sat down, still laughing to himself. “Why are you here?” He never left Seattle if he could help it, and Ashford wasn’t exactly some hopping bedlam for pretty boys like Kiel.

“What?” my brother said, faking a concerned frown. That asshole wasn’t concerned about anything but landing a story that would put his byline front and center of the Seattle Times. Still don’t know how the hell he’d managed to land that gig. “I can’t check in on my big brother?”

“Not unless you want something.”

He waved me off. “On my way to Portland for a story. Thought I’d check up on you.”

When Crystal appeared again, not bothering to give more than an eye roll to Kiel as she slid the Blue Moon in front of him, I kicked his leg, knowing he was about to fuck with the old lady again.

She was halfway to the bar before my brother ignored my warning glare and called over his shoulder, “Where’s my orange slice?”

Crystal didn’t miss a beat, yelling back, “Up your ass, bitch,” before she tended to the group of dockworkers who’d entered.

“I don’t get why she doesn’t like me,” he said, grumbling a little while he downed his punk beer. “I’m way manlier than you are and not nearly as mean.”

“Whatever you gotta tell yourself.”

He watched me closely, leaning over the table as he scratched a line with his thumb into the label. I knew I should have expected the question before it came, but it still took me by surprise that my brother could do the job he did and still have no clue how to read me.

“Dude, you look like shit.” He moved back against the table, pulling on his beer. “You still moping about Kit being gone?” Kiel shifted in his chair, eyebrows shooting up when I ignored him. “She’s still out?”

“She’s back,” I said, my gaze shifting around the bar to the dockworkers hassling Crystal for taking too long with their order. My attention was on alert, sharp as the biggest of the workers yelled something rude at Crystal because his beer wasn’t cold enough. “Got back today.”

Kiel followed my stare, swinging his legs around as though he was ready to pounce if those assholes got to be more than the old waitress could handle, but my kid brother was clueless.

“Easy,” I told him, shaking my head. “She can handle that shit.”

And before the words had left my mouth completely, Crystal had an empty bottle in her hand, raising it overhead when the dockworker grabbed her arm. He had enough time for a cool, vicious curl to move her top lip before she knocked the jackass across the face.

“Out!” she called, clearing the bar top as the guy’s friends helped him to his feet. “Right now, assholes, and don’t come back!” Crystal was little, but loud and scary as hell. I was a big dude, but I still knew better than to mess with her.

“Told you,” I said, giving the old waitress a nod of approval as she glanced in our direction.

Kiel went white, and when the old lady stared at him, my brother turned around, suddenly interested in his Blue Moon.

“So,” he tried, “you look like shit because…”

I knew I couldn’t divert him for long, but I didn’t want to cry into my beer, blabbering to my kid brother about Kit and the shit she wanted from me. I kept what I thought locked down tight. Kiel was slick, always had some woman on the side because he was a good-looking dude and he could talk a preacher into a porno subscription. But he was nothing like me. We looked alike, had the same wide frame, the same high cheekbones and mouths that stretched across our faces, even the same thick, unruly hair, though Kiel knew how to work his. I just kept mine short. But Kiel was smooth, gave a shit about what he wore, what label was on his clothes, when I was good with Levis and flannels. But how we lived, what we cared about, or what mattered to us? Nah, that’s where we differed.

“She’s got a bucket list she wants help with,” I finally told him, ignoring the slow grin that moved across his mouth.

“And what’s on this list?”

I waved him off, sighing hard when that grin turned into something ridiculous that made him look like the fucking Joker. “Shit she wants to do.” Kiel went on smiling, that expression fracturing only a little as he shifted his weight against his elbows. He’d do that shit forever—watch, waiting for me to fess up. The jackass had the patience of a priest, and when he went on gawking, expecting, I decided to give up a little of what was bothering me. Shoulders lowering, I downed the last of my Guinness and pushed the glass aside. “Fine. On that list is shit that could make things…complicated.”

“Ah,” he said, crossing his arms as he watched me. “Like sex things.” I grunted but didn’t confirm a thing. “And no matter how many times you hand me that bullshit about not wanting anything with her, I’m not blind. You get that look anytime she’s around.”

“What look?” The guy was off his meds or something. Like I said, I kept everything locked down, even how I looked at her.

“Dude, give me a break.” Kiel shook his head, pulling a mint from the roll in his pocket. He’d stopped smoking five years back but still needed the mints to do something with his hands. “Kit comes around, and that grumpy-ass frown on your face vanishes. You look at her like you’re lost in the desert and she’s just the right amount of wet that will quench your thirst.”

Another grunt, but this time, I shot a glare at my brother for mentioning shit that shouldn’t be in his mouth. He shrugged when I flipped him off, but he didn’t give me hell about Kit.

“So you wanna help her out, but you think things will get…iffy?”

My brother had a way with words, no shit there. But I still didn’t want him knowing what was in my head. I damn well didn’t want anyone to know. “Something like that,” I finally admitted, figuring he’d badger me until I gave up even the smallest detail.

Kiel nodded, moving his lips together like he needed to smear the words around before he set them loose. Then, he snapped his fingers, like he’d just come up with some grand idea that was the greatest shit any bastard ever thought up. “Distract her.”

“And how should I go about that shit?”

“There aren’t any rules about what gets done first, are there?”

Kit hadn’t mentioned it, though if I knew her, and God help me I did, she’d be a stickler for staying in order. “No, but she’ll probably…”

Kiel waved his hand, shutting me up. “You can distract anyone, man. You’re a bully when you want to be, when it’s something you want. And if I’m hearing you right, what you want is to keep what you’re thinking about her out of the equation.”

“Fuck you, I’m not a bully.” It was insulting for him to say shit that wasn’t true. But then Kiel leaned back, stretching his long legs out in front of him as he shook his head, and a quick flash of stupid shit I’d done as a kid came back to me. “Locking you in the girls’ bathroom freshman year taught you a lesson.”

“I got suspended.”

“Yep, but did you ever try sneaking peeks at the girls’ shower after that?” He didn’t respond, and I took that as denial. “Thought so, asshole. Shit I did was to keep you in line.”

“Never mind that,” Kiel said, avoiding Crystal as she walked around the tables, cleaning up the mess left over from the afternoon crowd. “Distract her. It’ll buy you some time until you figure out what you wanna do.”

“Nothing to do,” I told him, moving my hand to the exit to signal Crystal to close out my tab. “What kind of bullshit friend won’t help out when she’s just lost her best friend in the world?”

“The kind that doesn’t want her to know he’s gone all stupid for her.”

I stuffed my card into my wallet when Crystal laid the bill on the table and scribbled my name and a hefty tip on the bill. “Not stupid,” I told Kiel, ignoring his low laugh. “Just…a little dumb.” That was the word that best described how Kit made me feel. Dumb. Awkward, a little helpless, and I hated feeling that shit. As my brother nodded at Crystal, this time neglecting to make a smartass comment or flirt with her, I followed him to the door, waving at the old waitress with my head full of stuff that might work as a distraction. I only hoped Kit would be down for avoiding shit I just wasn’t ready to deal with.