CHAPTER 2
Annabelle
I’m technically not even inside his house yet. My feet are still on the top step. But if the way he just looked at me is any indication I’m “in” in a much more important way.
The kind of way where a guy takes one look at you and you know you’ve got him…hook, line, and sinker.
I never ever thought this moment would come. Just the fact that I was coming over to be his nanny told me he still thought of me as a young girl, not a woman. And while I may not be a woman yet, I know that four years after leaving this small town for New York I have matured a lot. And in more ways than one.
I was the prototypical late bloomer. Flat chested at high school graduation and kind of shy and awkward to boot. A few days in New York and I started to see that if I didn’t get a little more assertive I was going to get walked on left and right. I wasn’t about to become pushy or aggressive, but I learned how to stand up for myself.
But right now standing up is the last thing on my mind. I don’t want to do anything that causes his hand to come off mine.
This is the man I’ve crushed on my entire life. He was already scorching hot enough when he was “just” the hot cop next door. Add a daughter into the mix? Fahgettaboutit, as they say in New York.
But there was one big complication to this entire recipe that the success of my love life hinged on.
He was my dad’s best friend.
Not just good friend. Best friend. Best friend as in since childhood, do anything for you type of best friend. The kind you don’t find anymore.
The kind where he agrees to be the godfather of your daughter. Yeah, that’s me.
The stupid girl with a crazy crush on her godfather. Talk about being a disaster.
But this disaster of him dropping his coffee mug might just be the kind of “disaster” he needed to really see me for the first time in a new light.
I’m not sure what dropped quicker. His mug or his jaw. Both were on the floor at the speed of light. And on the floor is where I hoped to be with him one day. As in rolling around having knock down drag out sex. At least that’s what I hoped for although I know I’m not sure I’m ready for it, considering I’m not technically ready for much.
You need to crawl before you can walk and when it came to my womanhood in that way, well I was still on my knees. Yep, I had been saving myself for him. There were times I wondered if anything would ever happen, but somehow I never lost hope. I think a double major and a full course load helped to keep my mind from wandering, not that there were any guys that could have taken my thoughts from him.
The guys my age just didn’t have “it.” They were still trying to figure out who they were and what they might become one day. With him one day was already here, having arrived long ago. After that first fight with my dad when they were kids, Braden knew he wanted to be a policeman. He wanted to stick up for others just like he did that day on the baseball field when he charged the mound because he thought my dad was throwing too close to his friend. A nine-year-old charging the pitcher’s mound? Who ever heard of such a thing?
I certainly have over and over again by this point, but the story always gives me goose bumps. A protector, even as a boy. That’s what Braden Badge is. I mean, come on. Even his last name…Badge. How could he not be a cop? How could he not wear the badge?
And as good as he looked in his uniform he looked equally as yummy right now.
He opened the door in jeans and a T-shirt. No shoes. He had that Sunday morning lounging around the house look and all I wanted to do was jump on top of him on a cozy corner of the couch and watch movies and read the morning paper. And I don’t even read the newspaper!
But for him I would. For him I’d do anything. That’s how deep my feelings went for him. I’d thought about him for so many years now he wasn’t just a part of my thoughts he was my thoughts. I caught myself daydreaming about him in class. I’d fantasize about him when I watched police procedural TV shows. He affected me so deep he even influenced the kind of television programs I watched. This was a whole different level. I wouldn’t say I was obsessed because it’s like he was an app on your phone…just always “running” in the background of my thoughts and my mind.
As his hand met mine his dark brown eyes, so dark they’re almost black, rose to meet mine.
He says nothing, just taking in the sight of me as I do the same with him.
He has a beard now, something I’ve never seen on him but wow…does it ever look good. I wonder if he’s working undercover now. And oh how I’d like to get under some covers in his bed with him.
But covers are the last things we’d need.
I feel the heat from his touch and it’s white hot, nearly matching the heat I feel inside.
I can feel my cheeks redden and my skin go flush. I feel light headed and know when I come up out of my squat I’m probably going to be even more light headed. If I lose my balance I know he’ll be there to grab me and keep me from falling…at least falling in another way.
I fell for him a long time ago, and as much as I see the way he’s looking at me this moment, it’s not enough to be sure. It’s never enough. I know my mind will see what it wants, and I don’t want to be the kind of girl who throws herself at the guy she wants. I want him to come to me. To pursue me. To chase me. To show me just how much he wants me and how far he’ll go to get me.
Not that I’d make him work that hard for it. Living in the big city has made me more mature and more sure of myself. I know what I want and I’m not afraid to say so.
“You hand,” he finally says, breaking the silence. “They…so…I’m sorry,” he says. His eyes open wide and he quickly shakes his head from side to side as if to clear his thoughts, seemingly trying to remind himself that he can’t do this. That he can’t pursue me even if he wants to.
But if I’ve waited this long I’m willing to wait a little longer. I’m playing the long game here. I don’t just want him right now. I want him forever, even if that’s how long I have to wait.