Chapter 24

Charlie

‘I love you, Charlie.’

The words rolled around in my mind all weekend. I couldn’t believe he’d actually said them. I cared about him more than I ever thought possible, and the moment those words slipped from his lips, it took all I had not to squeal and throw my arms around his neck. Every time I thought back to those words he said on the boat my skin crawled, and I couldn’t wait to see him at work on Monday. I knew we were still keeping our distance unless it was necessary, but mounds of paperwork I had been entering and altering needed to be delivered throughout the day, which meant I’d get a glimpse of him through his office windows.

And sometimes, that was all I needed.

But, when I got to work things felt weird. I ran into Michael—the senior VP of the company— and he gave me this odd look. I asked him how his weekend was and his answers were shorter than usual, which I found odd.

Especially since L was training me to work alongside the two of them in the boardroom.

I sat down at my desk and got to work on the last little bit of paperwork, but I couldn’t focus. Something about Michael’s interaction with me this morning had my stomach rolling, so I decided to take the files already done up to L’s secretary.

I ran into Michael in the elevator.

“Hey there,” I said, smiling.

“Hi,” he said.

“How did that property spec meeting go? I’m assuming Mr. James took you since he didn’t ask me to be there,” I said.

“It was fine,” Michael said.

“Anything I should know?” I asked.

“Nope.”

His answers were clipped and he wasn’t looking at me at all. The elevator doors opened to the level I needed, and he strode by me quickly before I could get off the elevator. A few of the files fluttered from the top of the pile, crashing to the floor in front of me, but instead of helping me with them like he normally would, he simply kept walking.

“Here, let me help you.”

I looked up and saw L’s secretary smiling at me, but her eyes were glancing all around my body. My mind started to panic, running every single scenario in my mind as to why everyone was acting so strange.

“I’m not quite done with all of them, but these are really piling up. I figured I’d bring them to you before I finished the rest. There are about fifteen more,” I said.

“Yeah. This project’s a hefty one,” she said.

But still, she didn’t meet my gaze.

“Is everything alright with Michael? He seems a bit off today,” I said.

“I know he just came off his crutches. Maybe his pain medication isn’t doing the job,” she said.

“I suppose.”

“I’ll take these from here. Should I expect the rest of the files today?”

“Yeah, I’ll try to get them to you,” I said.

I turned my gaze down the hallway and saw Michael staring at me. We hooked eyes for a brief moment before another wave of fear crashed over my system, and I turned around on my heels and slammed my palm into the elevator door. Something had happened since my night with L, and I stepped onto the elevator just before my body was flooded with nervous nausea.

This entire time, we had been petrified that someone would find out. While we were doing this salacious dance in the shadows, we were also sidestepping people who saw L on a regular basis. People like his secretary and Michael who could read him like an open book. I didn’t have any issues like that because I wasn’t particularly close to anyone on my floor, but L had to be cautious.

From the moment we began this shit with the burner phones and the sneaking around, I’d been nervous about coming to work. My heart would always drop to my toes just before I walked into the building, but my conversations with Michael would always bring me some relief. So long as Michael didn’t know, I could rest assured that no one else knew.

But now, I wasn’t so sure, and as the elevator dumped me out onto my floor, I felt the nausea grow worse.

I made my way back to my desk and sat down before looking around to see if anyone was watching me. My paranoia was slowly bubbling to the surface, so I grabbed my purse and headed to the bathroom. I shut myself into a stall and pulled out my burner phone, then shot off a quick text message to L.

I needed to make sure he was alright.

BF doesn’t seem too happy. You alright?

I sat there on the toilet while my entire body shook. The building felt as if it was freezing and my skin was puckering with nerves. I could taste my breakfast at the back of my throat as I tried to swallow down the feeling, but I had to rip myself off the toilet and drop to my knees before I threw up. The coffee and bagel I had while coming into work found its way into the toilet, and my body shook as tears sprang to my eyes.

Something terrible had happened, and L wasn’t responding because of it.

I stayed on my knees in the bathroom for 15 minutes, retching up my breakfast while listening for the phone to vibrate. All I needed some sort of message. Just one little sign to let me know things were alright. Hell, I’d take a fucking emoticon if my phone would just vibrate and relieve me of the stress plaguing my body.

But it never came, and the heaving didn’t stop.

I knew I wouldn’t be productive like this. Those fifteen files I’d set for myself as a goal wouldn’t get entered in properly because my mind would be elsewhere, and I still had a week’s worth of sick days in my file. When I couldn’t physically bring up anything else, I went to the sink to rinse my mouth out before writing my direct boss a quick note and leaving for the day.

I always heard back from L. Always. The day I planned the boat trip for us was also a day where he had all sorts of meetings, but that was just a fluke. One of the great things about my job was that I got direct access to L’s schedule in case he needed me for something last minute. So, when I pulled it up and saw he had absolutely no meetings today, it only raised more questions.

Why wasn’t he messaging me back? Didn’t he know what we were up against? Surely if he said he loved me, he would want to abate my fears. Every time he messaged me, I messaged him back. Every time I messaged him, he messaged me back. Unless either one of us were in meetings, we always responded.

He had no meetings today. So, where was his response?

Didn’t he know what his lack of response was doing to me?

Did he not care?

Did someone find out?

Was this his way of communicating to me that something was wrong?

The honking of a car horn startled me back to reality as I drifted into oncoming traffic. I ripped my car back into my lane before I pulled into the parking garage of my apartment complex, and all I could do was sit at my steering wheel and cry. Something terrible was happening, I could feel it. Michael wasn’t right and his secretary was studying me with a watchful eye. I felt my paranoia fully take over my mind as I sobbed in my car, and then a frightful question crossed my mind.

Could this all fall apart so soon after we had both declared our feelings?

I’d just told the most powerful man in real estate development that I was in love with him, and that was after he had said it to me first. Up until this point, reality was better than my dreams, and I found myself trying to stay awake just so my dreams wouldn’t taint the perfection of my reality.

Was it all falling apart? Was someone currently putting L under a microscope? Was he being interrogated by someone while I just burst free from the confines of the company?

Was I going to get fired?

“Why the fuck did I do this?” I asked myself as I sobbed in my car.

“What the fuck was I thinking?”