Chapter 10

Aria yawned and spread her arms wide. She’d fallen asleep after Dan left. Rolling onto her stomach, she wondered if this was what other women went through…missing their husbands and at the same time being frustrated with them, too.

She lifted the pillow on top of her head and buried her nose in the air mattress. She cuddled into the smell, and her mind and body ached for him. She couldn’t escape…his scent lingered everywhere.

She remembered the first time she had picked up the sensory cue… Their first meeting had been in Bay Books on Orange Avenue. She’d been searching out Cathy Maxwell’s latest historical romance and Nora Roberts’s latest contemporary when someone bumped into her, sending her tripping over a small stool and ending up sprawled on the floor.

Looking up, she was prepared to bawl out the jerk who had ruined her day, when her eyes connected with his…a man’s gaze so penetrating that she’d hardly remembered being pulled to her feet or the way his hands had brushed over her legs and back.

“Are you hurt?”

“No. I mean, yes.”

His hands roamed over her back again, and as they touched her rear…she pulled away.

“I’m fine. Really.” Heat rose in her cheeks. Spice and something wild filled her senses. “You smell good. I mean…I feel good.”

“Okay.” He stood there, just staring. Finally, he put out his hand and said, “I’m Dan.”

“Aria.” When she took a step, she tripped over her own feet.

He caught her and held her. “Maybe we should go get some coffee.”

Abandoning her book search, she allowed him to escort her from the premises and down to a small bar called Danny’s. They both ordered iced teas and in the semidark of the place talked about books and snorkeling, travel and trips… When dinnertime filled the bar, they ate burgers and fries, and still they talked.

As noise made it more difficult to continue the discussion, they left…walking toward the beach. Words left her head when he took her hand. Then silence wrapped its comforting arms around them both as they strolled past the Hotel del Coronado, the Coronado Shores, and onto the Amphibious Base beach.

Dan waved his ID at a security guard and directed her farther down the empty beach. Then he turned her toward him.

Wind whipped her hair in a frenzy of movement as he leaned in and laid his lips on hers. Heat seared her skin where he touched her, and her mouth responded to his as if he were pure oxygen.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she deepened the kiss, leaning her hips into his. Her heart raced as his hands splayed on her waist. She breathed in his scent…that indefinable Dan smell…and she knew it would be stamped in her brain and on her heart forever.

She sighed. So much for staying in bed.

Swinging her legs off the side of the makeshift bed, she got to her feet. Her phone was making noise from the bowels of her purse. Digging it out, she looked at the message. It was from Hannah. The first message said, “There’s a tea this morning. You’re invited. No Caybreena types here.” The second message said, “It’s less than two minutes from your house on the A. Base—on the bay side. Pick you up at 9:00 a.m.”

Heading for the bathroom and a shower, she wondered if she could leave Jimmy here alone. Could she trust him, after everything that had happened? Hell, did she even want to go to another military tea? The first one had been such a disaster.

Turning on the water, she put her hand underneath and felt the stream jet, warm and soothing. Stepping beneath the spray, she allowed the heat to relax her muscles. If these wives were anything like Hannah, it might be a relief. The other options for her day were 1) work, 2) gather more frustration toward her brother, or 3) stew about Dan’s being gone. She’d take the chance and go with Hannah.

“I can leave a note for Jimmy,” she said, thinking out loud. She needed something to get her back on track, and what she was doing now wasn’t cutting it. It was time to change her location and her procedure.

***

“Welcome, Aria, to our little group.” A short woman with a rounded figure, glasses, and long blond hair opened the door. She waved them in with a smile. “Hi, Hannah. Oh! Thanks for bringing the cupcakes and pastry. You can place them over there on the counter.”

The entryway was white, and the living room was a brilliant rustic orange. There were books and stacks of magazines in places as well as gorgeous paintings filling the way. Aria was immediately drawn to one of a small boy and girl in a sailboat.

“Do you like it?” asked Francis. Her friend Hannah had shared that their hostess was the CO’s wife.

Aria still wasn’t sure what that meant or how she should act, but she decided to be honest. “I’m not an expert, but I’m a fan of Impressionism. Whoever painted this…the brushstrokes so delicate and precise and the overall depiction breathtaking…it’s amazing. Who’s the artist?”

Everyone groaned. Francis shushed them.

“It’s me.” She took it off the wall and handed it to Aria. “I can’t give them away fast enough.”

“I couldn’t. It’s too…much. All of the work that went into—”

“If you like it, then please take it. My husband would be thrilled and I am delighted. Come, take a seat.” Francis escorted her to a spot on the couch next to Hannah. “Just give me a minute, ladies.” Hurrying to the kitchen, which was visible over the large open counter, Aria watched Francis pop the cork on a bottle of champagne and pull the cork from a bottle of chilled wine that was already beginning to sweat. “We don’t need red, right?”

“Too early,” said a tall, rather stout-looking woman who looked physically like a linebacker, yet her face had high cheekbones and gorgeous angles. “I’m Judy Parker, the XO’s wife,” she said from the other side of Hannah. “Don’t look so baffled. I didn’t know anything when I began this journey either. The XO is the Executive Officer, the second in command, who reports directly to the Commanding Officer or CO.”

“Thanks, Judy. Nice to meet you,” replied Aria. “I never believed myself to be acronym challenged, but there’s a lot to take in.”

“You’ll get the hang of it soon enough. If you have any questions, call one of us,” said Francis, returning to the room. “Our breakfast buffet is ready, ladies.” Everyone stood and moved toward the counter. Platters were filled with sausage, bacon, fried eggs, melon slices and assorted berries, oatmeal, and Hannah’s pastry and cupcakes. Aria’s stomach growled as she looked at the gorgeous food on stunning china. She genuinely liked the vibe of these ladies.

“Ahhh!” A woman in a sundress bent down quickly. “Francis, get a towel. Sorry, I spilled my champers.”

“No worries, you know everything has Scotchgard. With three girls and two boys, we usually are in a constant state of chaos. You just got here after the cleaning lady worked on this room. She’s still upstairs.” Francis laughed. Sniffing the air, she ran into the kitchen. Opening the oven door, she waved away the smoke. Withdrawing a rather burnt egg dish, she laid it on a cooling rack and laughed. “So much for the quiche. Someone hand me the wine.”

When everyone had food and drink, they settled back into the living room. Over thirty women chatted enthusiastically. Aria caught pieces here and there.

“How’s Jen?” Judy asked Francis as she gave her full glass of iced tea to a choking neighbor and went to the counter, where she picked up an empty glass and filled it with iced tea and added a lemon wedge.

Francis smiled, “Any day now. Her mother flew in last week, and she’s having a marvelous time bossing JC around. She’s practically stacked the entire nursery with diapers for the next year.” Aria knew those names. JC was Dan’s swim buddy, two peas in a pod was how Dan described them…except no one was actually peeing. God, that man’s sense of humor was bad!

Another woman, dressed in pink shirt, skirt, and shoes said, “Did you hear the awful news about Kelt Haussey, he’s from Team SEVEN? He talked to his wife Olivia at 0600 this morning, and two hours later he was shot. They had been planning their tenth-wedding-anniversary party and a second honeymoon in Oahu.”

The whole room was quiet. Several ladies wiped their eyes or whisked away silent tears. The tension was so thick, it could have been cut with a knife.

Francis cleared her throat, obviously shaken. She spoke first. “Whose kids have classes with the Haussey children?”

Three women raised their hands.

“Okay, you put together baskets for the kids. Judy and I will make casseroles.” A buzz rose from the women. Francis sighed. “Fine. I’ll go to Costco instead. After our meeting, I’ll call Pamela and see what else we can do to help. Hannah will put the phone tree into effect, if reinforcements are needed.”

Hannah nodded. She mouthed a silent prayer and crossed herself. Then she whispered to Aria. “Pamela Johnson is the Commanding Officer’s wife of Team SEVEN. She and Francis are good friends.” When Aria didn’t reply, she said, “This is what we do…support each other. If one person hurts, we all do. It might still be sinking in for you, but in essence we are one family.”

Judy added in a soft voice, “Only some people want to participate and others don’t. Just know, the faces or individuals who are involved may change, yet the spirit remains the same.”

A chill ran up Aria’s spine. She would be devastated if anything happened to Dan. Even with the issues they’d been having, she loved him dearly. Maybe she needed to let him know that more often, instead of sending him out the door with a fight and grumpy attitude.

Voices rose to an anxious pitch as wives sent texts to their husbands.

“Okay, that’s enough. Don’t get worried if you can’t reach your husbands. A bunch of them are jumping and another group is at San Clemente Island,” said Francis, raising her hand for silence. “Before we set our minds on helping the Haussey family, let’s touch base with everyone here. Gretchen, you start.”

“The in vitro took. I’m entering my third trimester. I know a few of you have been guessing…wondering…but we wanted to make certain this would happen before we announced it.” The woman named Gretchen couldn’t have been more than four-foot-nine, and she looked as if she were wearing a football strapped to her stomach.

Hannah announced, “Yeah, we all knew what was going on, Gretchen. We’re having a baby shower for you in two weeks, in case you pop early.”

Everyone laughed.

Gretchen blushed.

“Hi to our newest member. Aria, my name is Tristi.” She gave a little wave in Aria’s direction. “I just wanted to thank everyone who came out to help me when the in-laws descended without notice at the same time the septic system backed up all of the toilets in the house. The smell was horrible, but you helped me get everything in shape—and brought food—and the in-laws didn’t even know.”

The circle of conversation moved around the room until it landed at Aria.

“Me?” Aria had been listening so intently, she hadn’t planned on providing any comments, but how could she refuse, after hearing such personal secrets and comments from the whole room. Denying them would be bad form in her opinion. “I, uh, recently had a death in the family. My uncle passed.” She choked up for a few seconds and swallowed the pain down. “I’m left to care for my brother. Makes sense, I suppose, since I raised him from a baby. But he’s a tough one. Jimmy didn’t speak for the first four years of his life. At first our uncle thought he had special needs, and then one day at an appointment with a new doctor, she mentioned that his diaphragm was small and hadn’t finished developing yet. It shocked me completely.”

“I’ve heard of that,” said Hannah supportively. “How is he now?”

“Things are getting better. He’s fourteen. He can speak, it’s just that now he’s a teenager—younger and smaller than most of his classmates—and sometimes getting information from him is like pulling teeth.” There were murmurs of agreement around Aria.

“Be firm with your brother. ‘Toe the line,’ in Navy speak. Don’t let him walk away from you. Force him to sit and listen and communicate. You have to be the one making the rules, and those rules should make your life easier, not his.” Judy pulled her phone out of her pocket and showed Aria a picture. “I have four teenage boys—all sixteen, and yes, they are quads—and let me tell you, my husband was gone over two hundred and ten days last year, and it is clear to everyone, I rule my house and it is shipshape.”

“Wow.” Aria absorbed the directions like a sponge. “I might need additional tips on that.”

“Anytime,” said Judy, replying to a text that had obviously come from her boys. “Your brother is welcome at our house, too. We always seem to have more mouths over for dinner. We put scholastics and sports before games and TV. Also, they will be kind to him, too, or they will answer to me.”

“Thanks, Judy, but this might change your mind,” Aria continued. “Since we’re all being so honest and Hannah has stressed that this is the place to air such things… We recently had a scare; Jimmy took one of Dan’s knives to school. Something called a Ka-Bar? No one got hurt, but he got suspended. Luckily, he’s going to be working at the courthouse over break as part of his punishment, and I have a feeling it will do him a lot of good.”

Kimberly raised a hand. “Is it Judge Wasa?”

“Yes,” replied Aria. “How did you know?”

“Laura ran her car into his fence. It was my daughter’s first day with a driver’s license, and she tried to answer her phone. She broke his fence and wrecked his rosebushes. If you have any questions or problems, call me. I’m friends with his wife now.” She patted Aria’s knee.

These women amazed her. All of them were SEAL wives, and their desire to offer friendship and a helping hand was extraordinary.

Judy drained her glass of iced tea. “Hit me again, Francis.” She gave the hostess her glass and then directed her next comment to Aria. “We don’t brook any funny business. I keep a close eye on the boys. As long as your brother plays by our rules, he is welcome anytime, and it will give him a good circle for next year. I heard about Jimmy’s story, and I know the person who put him up to it. His name is Falcon Jones, and he has been suspended, too. This is his third suspension, and he won’t be returning to our high school.”

“How did the principal find out?” Aria was shocked.

“My boys. We take care of our own.” Judy lifted up the glass to her lips. “Damn, it’s hot today.”

“But…you don’t even know me.” Aria didn’t know what to say.

“I know Dan, and the odds were high that you’d be lovely. SEALs tend to marry strong women, ones that have backbone and some get-up-and-go.” Judy looked at her watch. She stood and said, “I have to pick the boys up and get them to water-polo practice. They have a session with last year’s Olympic team coach. We’re going to find out today if they have enough wins and talent to go to training camp.”

There was a “good luck” and a “let us know” from the rest of the wives as Judy thanked the hostess, Francis Diggins. She waved at the rest of them and then left.

Hannah whispered, “She’s amazing! I know. I want to be her when I grow up…that is if Hammer and I can ever figure out how to make the baby thing work.”

“Let me give you a tip, you need to be in the same room for that to happen,” quipped Francis. The rest of the ladies burst out laughing.

“Yep, no secrets in this group. Which is fine, because this is the safest place I know.” Hannah took a bite of her pastry and winked at Aria.

Aria had placed two tiny cupcakes on her plate. She took off the wrapper of the first one and ate it. They were delicious. Good heavens, she could eat a hundred of these!

Letting her gaze wander, she looked around at the women. They were all shapes and sizes and of varied ethnicity, dressed in everything from jeans and T-shirts to lovely dresses. Aria liked that. She appreciated the diversity and adored their candor. It was a welcome experience after her last military tea and all of Dan’s double-talk.

“Aria, would you like another orange juice?” asked Francis, holding a half-full glass container.

“Sure. Thanks.” Aria held her glass in front of her and watched it fill up. Yes, these ladies recharged her battery and took away a large part of the burden she’d been feeling. Aria had learned more than she’d imagined—in some cases, much more than she wanted to know about the realities of being a U.S. Navy SEAL wife.

After hearing some of the stories, she knew she’d have to find a way to appreciate Dan when he was home and not resent him when he was gone. None of that was going to be simple, but maybe she’d make it into something fun. With these women at her back for emergencies and support, perhaps the being-alone thing could get easier.

***

“Jimmy, can you come in here?” Aria sat down on the couch and waited for her brother to make his way the five feet to their gigantic couch. She was already positioned and had memorized the list she’d written an hour ago. “Jimmy!”

The door opened and her brother sulked his way slowly to the couch. She could feel his reluctance coming toward her in steady waves. He sat down on the very edge without even looking at her.

“Good morning.” Even though it was now almost afternoon, she proffered the greeting.

“Morning,” he replied flatly.

“Jimmy, look at me.” When he did, there were tears in his eyes. She leaned over and hugged him. He let her, and then he cried.

“I don’t know what to do,” he said.

She stroked his hair. “I know, Jimmy. I know. That’s why I’m here. We’re going to do this together. Okay?”

His words were thick with vulnerability as he said, “I know we talked about it…but you’re sure…you’re not going to get rid of me?”

“Never!” She hugged him so tightly, he started to squirm. Relaxing her grip slightly, she waited until his tears had been spent, and then she put an arm’s length between them. “We need to set ground rules. First, we talk about everything. If you’re sad, frustrated, or upset, I want to know. I’m your sister and I will always be here for you. I need you to talk to me. It is not acceptable to just shrug your shoulders or walk away. Got it?”

“Yes.”

“Good. And Dan will be here for you, too. Second, you are never, ever, to take a gun, knife, or any other weapon out of this house. The only time you will be allowed to handle a weapon of any kind is with Dan or me there, understood?” She watched his eyes grow wide. “Yes, you will be taking a gun-safety course, as will I. Dan is in the Navy and they have weapons, so we will learn the ins and outs and not touch them other than with him and in the manner he teaches us. Agreed?”

Jimmy nodded his head. “Am I allowed to say…that’s sort of cool?”

Aria’s tone was purposefully stern. She was looking forward to the gun training, too, but Jimmy had to know the darker side. “Yes, but learning the repercussions may not be, as you will also be going to the VA to meet some people whose lives have been changed by weapons…guns, IEDs, and so much more. Weapons are not toys, and you will learn to respect them.”

Her brother swallowed hard several times. She could see his Adam’s apple going up and down. He looked more nervous than he seemed willing to admit.

“Third, you must check in with me…during the day and at night. If you decide that you want to go somewhere, you need to ask me first.” She waited for his nod. “Lastly, we are going to start our mornings in this house with a walk or run, together. This is going to be one of our quiet times, so no CD players, no iPods, no phones…just you and me. We can talk about whatever you want.”

“Thanks, Aria.”

She could see the tension leaving his body. If he got on board and lived by these rules, she felt they’d be okay. What she wanted was her happy brother back…and her own ability to handle the responsibility.

“When do we go?”

She lifted her head and smiled. “Go get dressed. I have to make a call, and then we’ll get out of here.”

He practically bounced out of her arms and off the couch in his race to get to his room. It was hard not to smile as she listened to him throwing stuff about in search of his beach gear. Yes, she told herself, it was the right decision to confront this head-on. Now she just had to pin Dan down and give him a similar talk. Even though he didn’t have control of his schedule, they needed some ground rules.

***

Aria brought Jimmy and Mark down for a picnic and a day of playing in the sand and water. There was a BUD/S training class farther down the beach, so she had positioned them away from the action, closer to the edge of the Amphibious beach and Gator Beach, which ran in front of the condos of Coronado Shores.

The beach was almost deserted, and she liked the quiet. It gave her brother space to work off some steam. She couldn’t imagine what it was like to be a fourteen-year-old boy who had lost his only father figure.

Is it time to get you into college classes, something more challenging? she wondered. Could getting Jimmy to engage his brain more solve these problems? She made a mental note to check out the policies and procedures of some of the local and online colleges. That kind of planning filled her with a sense of purpose. She didn’t feel overwhelmed, just calm and happy.

Does this mean I’m doing it right, living my life the way I’m supposed to and helping those I love? The only sounds were the screech of the seagulls and the slap of the waves as they crashed on the shore.

A little voice in her head shouted, What’s most important…is that you think it’s right!

“I hope so,” she murmured to herself.

The sun beat down on her skin. She grabbed her straw bag and hunted inside for her sunblock. Finding it, she placed the SPF 50 on the towel next to her and stretched behind her and adjusted the umbrella so it covered her more effectively. Then she opened the tube, squeezed out a generous dose, and rubbed it into her skin. “Hey, you two, sunscreen.”

Her brother looked up and nodded, obediently hurrying toward her. Today he had been on his best behavior. Maybe it had been their talk, or perhaps he had finally accepted the fact that all they had was each other…and they needed to work through the difficult times and enjoy the lighter ones.

Jimmy came in at a dead run, beating Mark back to their little oasis. He sent a spray of sand in her direction and looked very upset by it. “Sorry, Sis.” He tried to brush the grains off and it only imbedded them deeper into the sunscreen.

She waved it off. “Jimmy, don’t worry. We’re at the beach. Sand happens.”

He looked so worried. Her brother needed to let go of the past to move forward.

She hated seeing that expression. Wrapping her hands around his, she squeezed them. “Today is about relaxing. Letting go…of expectations, concerns, everything. Today, you’re just a California beach bum enjoying the surf, okay?”

“Sure.” His eyes held hers.

Abruptly she let go of his hands, located the tube, and tossed it in his direction. “Now slap some on.”

“Kids grow up fast, don’t they?” asked Mark after Jimmy had lathered up and returned to the shore’s edge. He plucked the sunscreen from her lap, squirted a generous amount into his hand, and began rubbing it into her back.

The massage felt good. He pushed his fingers into the knots wedged under her shoulder blades. She tensed briefly as he worked them out, sighing with relief as he finished.

“We haven’t done that for a while.”

“What?” she asked, leaning her body back so she could look at him.

He pulled her into his arms and hugged her. “You haven’t let me touch you, hug you, spend time with you…since you married.”

Aria didn’t know what to say. She believed Mark hadn’t meant that as an accusation, but it had still felt like one. “Hey, I just had stuff to do. We’re still…” She fake-punched him on the leg and watched his normally stoic expression grow into a smile. “Besties.”

He mirrored her action. “Thanks. You know I love you. I’d do anything for you.”

“Yeah, yeah, and I love you, too.” She shook her head. Why was Mark always so serious? He needed to lighten up, too. In all the years she’d known him, he didn’t seem to smile often. Where was Mark’s levity—his laughter and joy? Maybe that was why she was in his life, to get him to relax. Heaven knows he had helped her through the tough spots over the years. She hoped she’d been just as good of a friend to him. “Now, I know you’re just as much of a kid as Jimmy, so go out there and play too.”

“Only if you watch.”

“Always,” she said. If she was truthful, she had invited Mark to come with them so that Jimmy would have a male to bond with, not to make things better between Mark and her. She considered trying to find someone for him. Oddly enough, he had never spoken about liking any one in the entire time they had known each other.

Mark sprinted down the beach, pumping his arms, and then he hopped the first wave, the second and the third. When he reached the spot where Jimmy was hopping them, too, he tackled him into the water. They both came up sputtering and laughing. She couldn’t keep the grin from her face. This was exactly what both Jimmy and she needed…a day off from their life…to laugh.

Digging her cell phone out of her bag, she accessed the camera function and stood. She narrated as she moved toward the ocean. “Hi, Dan. Here we are on the beach, not far from where you proposed and where we were married. We’re enjoying a beach day…and you can see Jimmy and Mark playing in the water.” She zoomed in on them splashing each other and playing chase.

Jimmy spread his arms wide and waved at her. Joy radiated from him as he bounced up and down. Happiness bloomed inside of her, just watching him.

Turning the phone toward herself, she looked at it and said, “Wish you were here. We’re just playing in the sun, surf, and sand. See you soon! I miss you, Dan.” She choked up. “I love you.”

She stopped the recording and sent it to Dan’s phone. A lump was forming in her throat. She hoped he was safe and sound. Dan McCullum was the one decision she had made for herself. She had never told anyone that he was her greatest wish, her secret desire. On the flip side, he had also brought her pain lately. What she should do with both of those pieces of information was absolutely beyond her…

***

Spreading the blanket wide, Aria laid out all of their lunch items and called the boys. Granted, it was a little late in the afternoon, but Mark and Jimmy were having so much fun, she hated to interrupt them. When they waved at her, she pointed at her wrist and they acquiesced, making their way toward her.

A man wearing blue shorts and no shirt paused in front of her. An ID was strapped to his arm. Next to him was a leaner man who mopped his face with a yellow T-shirt. They had to be Team guys—with their six-pack abs and large biceps, she couldn’t imagine anything else. “Aria? Hey, I’m Declan Swifton and this is Harvey Wilson. We were at your wedding and the reception at the Del. We’re Team guys, too.”

“Yeah, I went through training with Dan. Same class.” Harvey put out his hand and she shook it. Heat emanated from his palm and it engulfed her entire hand. “Sorry, we just came back from a run. Is Dan around?”

“No, he’s…uh…” Crap! She didn’t know what to say. Was she allowed to mention…anything?

Declan put his hand on her forearm. “Don’t worry. We get it. He’s somewhere important.” He nodded his head. “Looks like a good spread. Do you have extra?”

She didn’t…but they could still make do. How could she turn away Dan’s friends?