“Honey, I’m starting to worry. It’s been four days, and you haven’t moved.”

Blowing out a breath, I rolled to my other side in the bed so I was facing my sister as she stood in the doorway of her guestroom I’d been shacking up in. “There. I moved. Happy now?”

“Not even close,” she deadpanned. “I hate to break it to you, babe, but you’re gonna have to get up.”

“Please, Brina, just… leave me alone,” I mumbled, flopping onto my back and staring up at the ceiling. “I’m tired.”

Moving into the room, she grabbed the covers and whipped them off me. “That’s enough. Sweetie, you haven’t left this bed for longer than a bathroom break. You called in sick to work, for Christ’s sake. When was the last time you ever bailed on work?”

I counted the rotations of the ceiling fan as I tried to think of the last time I’d taken a day off. “Never,” I replied sullenly. “I’ve never taken a day off, so I’m more than due, don’t you think?”

“Not like this, honey. Not like this.” Lying down on the bed beside me, she curled up on her side, and I did the same. We lay face-to-face with our hands tucked beneath our cheeks, just like we used to do as kids. “You’re so strong, Sutton. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but you’ll get through this. I promise.”

My heart ached, and I’d cried so much my eyes constantly burned. And every time I thought I couldn’t possibly cry another tear, my eyes would well up and it would start all over again. I was dangerously close to dehydration if this didn’t stop. But god, it just hurt so damn much.

“I’m just so tired,” I whispered. “When will it be my turn, Brina? I’m so goddamn tired of life beating me down. I deserve something good. How much fucking longer do I have to wait, huh? When will the hits finally stop coming?”

My sister’s eyes grew wet and red. “I don’t know, baby. I wish I did,” she whispered as a tear fell free and slipped down into the hair at her temple. “If there’s anyone in this world who deserves all the happiness life can give, it’s you.”

“Then when?” I asked with a sniffle as I silently wept.

Reaching over, she tucked my hair behind my ear and rested her palm on the side of my neck. “I wish I had an answer for that, Sut. All I can tell you is your time is coming. I believe that with all my heart. All you have to do is hold strong, baby, and your time’ll come.”

I smiled at my sister and wriggled a little closer. “You really think that?”

“I know it, honey,” she replied vehemently. “I know. Just stay strong. Promise me, Sutton, that you’ll stay strong.”

“I will,” I vowed softly. “I always do.”

Sabrina grinned big. “Don’t I know it, babe. Biggest badass I’ve ever met.”

We giggled and hugged, and despite wanting nothing more than to turn over and go back to sleep, I eventually climbed out of bed and got into the shower at her coaxing.

* * *

“Brina,” I called as I stepped out of the bathroom, rubbing a towel against my hair. “You know I hate giving you credit for anything, but you were right. I feel so much better after that shower. I’m almost human again. A cup of coffee and I might even be able to function as a member of societ—”

The words died on my tongue as soon as I rounded the corner into the living room and saw a panicked-looking Sabrina sitting on the couch next to our mother who had her face buried in her hands.

“What’s going on?”

At the sound of my voice, my mother’s head popped up, and I saw tears streaming down her face.

Rushing around the side of the couch, I dropped my towel on the ground and crouched in front of her, taking her hands in mine. “Mom, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

No matter how mad she made me, or how much guilt she shoved down my throat, there wouldn’t be a day where I stopped loving her. The truth was she’d given her life to make sure my sister and I had everything she could possibly give us. She worked countless hours every day, sometimes until her feet blistered and her hands were covered in burns from handling hot plates. And she did that to make sure we never did without. She wasn’t perfect; then again, no one was. But at the end of the day, she was my mom, and I’d love her until I took my last breath.

“I think you should sit down, honey,” my mother said softly.

I shifted my gaze between the two women on the couch. “What? Why?”

“Just sit, Sutton. Please.”

I forced my legs to carry me over to the love seat and sat at the very edge, leaning my elbows into my knees. “Will someone please tell me what’s going on? I’m kinda starting to freak out.”

Mom’s back went straight as her hands fidgeted in her lap, wringing the tissue she was holding. “I’ve been thinking on everything you said to me a couple weeks ago, and the more I’ve replayed that fight in my head, the sicker I’ve gotten about it.”

“Mom, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those—”

Her hand came up to silence me. “No, please. You were right. Everything you said was right. I’ve been a terrible mother to you both,” she said, looking between Sabrina and me. “There’s no excuse for the things I’ve said, and I’ll never forgive myself for making you girls feel like anything less than the amazing, brilliant women you both are.”

“Oh my god,” Sabrina gasped. “Are you sick? Mom, are you dying?”

“What? No! God, no. Nothing like that.” She bit her lip, and I realized right then where I got that nervous habit. Turning back to me, she said, “I know what happened, Sutton, and I’m so sorry you’re hurting, baby.”

My whole body jerked back in shock. “What? How?”

She didn’t answer my question, at least not straightaway. But what she said next stunned me speechless. “Your father told me.”

“What do you mean, our father told you?” Sabrina asked, her voice hard and cold as ice. “When the hell did that happen?”

“A couple days ago. He and that young man of yours came by and explained everything. I never wanted this for you. The idea that you’re in pain kills me, honey. I’m not gonna tell you what you should or shouldn’t do when it comes to your man. That’s not my right any longer, but before you make any decisions, there’s something you should know. Both of you.” She paused long enough to suck in a breath. “This isn’t the first time your father’s reached out to me.”

“What?” I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t even think.

“About a year after he walked out on us, he started calling, wanting to see you girls and going on about how sorry he was for everything.” Tears started falling down her cheeks in earnest. “You were right, Sutton, about everything. I let my pain make me bitter. I stole your father from you because I was hurt. It’s my fault you two spent your lives without him. I stole that from you, and I’ll regret that for the rest of my life.”

“I don’t understand,” Sabrina whispered. “All those letters we wrote him, the birthday invitations we mailed, all those years you had to work multiple jobs to take care of us….”

Reaching into her purse, Mom pulled out a whole stack of envelopes, each one with our names scrawled in unfamiliar handwriting along the front. “He wrote you all the time. I just couldn’t bring myself to give them to you, but I kept them all these years. I don’t know… I guess I thought one day—” Her words broke off with a pained croak. “I was just so hurt. I told him we didn’t need his guilt money, that you girls wanted nothing to do with him. He sent money, but each time a check came in the mail, I ripped it up. I told myself that was his way of making himself feel better for abandoning his family. I let my pride get in the way of what was best for my girls. It was the wrong choice.”

“Oh my god,” I breathed, then shot to my feet, repeating, “Oh my god!” on a shout. “I don’t believe you!”

“You can’t be serious,” Sabrina said, her voice full of disgust. “You worked until you came home and collapsed every single day just so you could, what, stick it to him? Prove a goddamn point that no one but you cared about?”

“I’m so sorry,” Mom repeated.

“I can’t believe this.” I let out an incredulous laugh, lifting my hand and grabbing a hank of hair at the crown of my head before letting the damp strands tumble back down. “I knew you held a grudge, but Jesus, Mom! Everything you said, all those horrible things you told us about him, were what… all lies?”

Mom scooted to the edge of the couch, her expression beseeching as she said, “You have no idea how sorry I am. What I did was unforgivable. I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to speak to me again, but I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you.” She stood from the couch, gripping her purse tightly in her hands as she tipped her chin to the envelopes on the coffee table. “I’ll leave those for you to read, and with the knowledge that he’s still in town. He’s waiting in the hopes of hearing from you.” She closed her eyes and brushed at the last few tears on her cheeks before looking to me and Sabrina one last time. “I just want you both to know how much I love you. I always have, and I always will. You two are my life. I’m so sorry if I haven’t let you know just how special you are to me, but it’s the truth. I’ve had a terrible way of showing it, but I’m so proud of you both.”

With that, Mom turned and silently walked out the door, leaving my sister and me reeling.

I looked to Sabrina, my heart in my throat. “What do we do?”

At my question, my sister said three words I’d never heard from her lips. “I don’t know.”