Serafina

I receive another bouquet of flowers from Eagle on Tuesday. This time it’s two dozen red roses. Red for courage and passion. That’s what he wrote in the accompanying card. I use my second pitcher for the flowers and set them out on my breakfast bar. Then I make my way to the couch and stare admiringly at both bouquets. My apartment is filled with a sweet scent. How long would it last if Caleb knew who I really was?

This note contains his cell phone number. Call me when you’re ready. Typical Eagle. Come on strong, then back off. He likes to play. So did I, especially at fifteen. I was young and wild, very pretty and knew it. I close my eyes, recalling our first meeting at the beach.

It was the annual Cajun party at Holly Beach. Hundreds of out-of-towners swarmed our little oasis every year and paid big money to taste our gumbo, drink our homemade wine, and listen to our music. I remember everything about that night like it happened yesterday.

I had my favorite red bikini on and was carrying a tray of Coronas to share with my friends. Somehow I didn’t notice the guy stretched out on a beach towel in front of me. I tripped, spilling beer all over him. Embarrassed and extremely apologetic, I scrambled to gather the bottles and then tried to wipe him off with his towel. Our hands brushed and lightning struck—the connection was instantaneous. As I was about to leave, Nathan Abshire and the Pine Grove Boys came on, playing “La Valse de Holly Beach” (the Holly Beach Waltz).

Eagle knocked everything out of my hands, tugged me into his arms, and started to dance with me. Every true Cajun knows how to waltz. And Caleb is no exception.

Tears fill my eyes. I long to go back. But we never can. The sooner I let him know, the better. I walk into the kitchen and grab my cell. I’ve already memorized his number. Reluctantly, I dial and wait for him to answer. He does on the fourth ring.

“Serafina?”

“Hi, Eagle.”

I can hear him smile. “How are you?”

“Good. Thank you for the beautiful flowers.”

“You’re welcome.”

There’s a pause but it’s not awkward. We’re both formulating what to say next. Even though he thinks I’m someone else, we’re still connected. Time and distance can’t change what nature has already dictated.

“I-I can’t do this, Eagle . . .” I’m tripping over my own tongue. I know what I need to say, but just can’t make myself do it. If I do, I’ll never see him again. Never hear his beautiful, deep voice again. I went without for so long. And now . . . God help me. I’m not ready to spend another six years wondering where he’s at and what he’s doing. Who he’s with. What girl he’s falling in love with. My hands start to tremble.

“Do what, darlin’?” he asks.

“This.”

“Explain what this means.”

“You.”

He chuckles. “I don’t remember asking you to do me yet.”

His play on words is impossible to ignore. I laugh out loud, although the thought of making love with him is bittersweet. “You’re incorrigible.”

“What’s that make you?”

“Hopeless.”

“I like hopeless,” he says sadly. “We match.”

“Do we?”

“I want to see you again, Serafina. I want to kiss your hot little mouth and touch you all over.”

That’s tame sex talk for Eagle. He’s trying to be a gentleman. “I called to let you know there’s no room in my life for a man.”

“I don’t believe you, Serafina.”

“You need to.”

“Are you into women?”

I roll my eyes. “No.”

“I am.”

I laugh again. “Should I be happy for you?”

“Only if you agree to meet me somewhere Thursday night.”

“I can’t. Between school and work . . .”

“Unless you take summer classes, pretty sure you’re off. Quit screwing around, woman. I know you want me.” Always so confident and arrogant on the outside, but underneath, where it matters most, I know there’s a tender spot.

“Maybe I’m not interested in you, Eagle. Maybe I’m just trying to blow you off without being a bitch about it.”

Expecting to hear him laugh, I’m shocked when all I get is silence. Did I hurt his feelings?

“I’ll book you for the night, Serafina. Then you won’t have a choice. I’ll be an official customer.” I hear the disapproval in his voice. “You’ll strip for me, no one else. Those tits and ass will belong to me. And I promise, once you’ve had a taste, you won’t be able to forget me.”

I close my eyes, turned on by the hint of possessiveness in his voice. Turned on by what I already know he can do. My hands slide to my breasts, wishing his hands were all over me. I let out a tiny moan.

“What are you doing, baby? Thinking about what it would be like?” He breathes heavily into the phone. “You can’t run away from it, Serafina. It will always be there, a persistent need to find out what it would be like—me pumping inside of you, my hands all over you—my tongue . . .”

“Okay!”

“Okay, what?” he asks in a low, predatory tone.

“I want you.”

He chuckles. “I’ll make that call to your boss, then.”

God, no! I only work on the weekends, so if Eagle calls Ben and tries to schedule a Thursday night party, it’ll spark all kinds of questions. I know it’s risky, but if we meet somewhere neutral, perhaps I can get away with seeing him one more time. No one needs to know. Just me and Eagle. A last chance to kiss him. To . . . “I don’t want to see you as a dancer, Eagle.”

“Good. Because I want to fuck you, Serafina. I’m not going to lie.”

Those sexy words burn holes in my heart. I want him. I need him. I miss him. “Where?” I’m on fire, the ache between my legs as real as the desperation in Eagle’s voice. When he says he wants to fuck me, I’m no longer thinking as Serafina, but as Angel.

“Have you spent any time in Shreveport?”

“I’ve done a few parties there.”

“I have a cabin on the Red River. It’s not too hard to find. Are you willing to drive there on Thursday afternoon?”

Is a seventy-mile drive worth seeing him again? Is giving up my sanity worth one night with Eagle? “Yes.”

“After we hang up, I want you to do two things for me. Okay?”

“I-I’ll try.” I’m losing it.

“First, check your email for directions to the cabin. You can’t tell anyone where it’s at. I use it as a safehouse for the club.”

“I won’t.”

“Then I want you to take a selfie for me. Let me see you in one of the skimpy outfits you dance in. I need a visual to make it to Thursday. Can you do that for me?”

At this point, I’ll do just about anything to make him happy. “Yeah.”

“Good girl.”

“Goodbye, Eagle.”

“Wait!”

“Did I miss something?”

“Bring some jeans and boots Thursday. We’re going for a ride.”

I disconnect, my heart and mind on totally different frequencies. I can do this. I can keep my true identity a secret. I can sleep with Eagle once and then force him out of my life forever. I deserve to be happy for a day. I deserve to know what I missed all those years ago. I deserve Eagle and I plan on having him.