Sabrina

 

Don’t worry about Mrs. Watson. Just fulfill her requests and she will be fine. Remember, no computers. She is an interesting character.

 “Interesting” was one way to describe Mrs. Watson. I certainly wasn’t going to tell Addi I thought she was a bold-faced liar and traitor.

Isabella and I agreed not to say anything to her about Mrs. Watson’s threat or seeing her at Fuchsia Flowers and Gifts’ grand opening—at least not yet. Addi had enough to deal with running The Flower Girl for me, and I didn’t want her to worry. Plus, I knew I could handle this.

And it was possible that Mrs. Watson was there for the free wine and sugar, just like most of the other guests.

I felt relieved when Mrs. Watson submitted her weekly centerpiece order to Blooms. She must not have been completely blown away by the stuffed animals, candy jars, or monogrammed trinkets the gift shop was pushing. Although I had to admit, the swag bag giveaway was a clever idea.

I was just hoping that Fuchsia Flowers and Gifts magnets weren’t adorning every refrigerator in Orlando now.

It was nice to be able to focus on work today. I felt pretty shaken up after leaving the grand opening event, mostly because of unexpectedly seeing Ethan. I still couldn’t get over us being in the same place at the same time.

He had said it was fate, just like I did when I met Addi at the airport. Could it be? Or was it just some random coincidence?  

Plus, every time I closed my eyes I pictured Ethan’s smile, his gorgeous hair, and his deep blue eyes. I tried everything I could to force the image out of my head, believe me.

The guilt was almost unbearable!

I knew more than ever I had to get closure with Todd.

Isabella ran out to get us lunch at a café called Panera Bread. She said they had some of the yummiest soups, salads, and sandwiches around.

I was still trying to adjust to being in Orlando and how flat it was. I hadn’t seen one hill since I’d been here. After living in hilly San Francisco all my life, it was quite a shock. The best news was that I was finally going to visit Disney World on Sunday. The kid inside me was doing cartwheels! Isabella had a special pass for Florida residents, so she offered to go with me.

It certainly had been great having her around.

I heard the front door to the flower shop open, pulling me out of my Disney excitement. I turned to see two girls walking into the shop. They were probably a few years younger than me. One of them had pale lavender-colored hair.

I smiled to myself. I never got into that trend. Of course, it would look ridiculous on me. This girl could definitely pull it off, though. The other had longer, dirty blonde hair.

“Hey there, welcome to Blooms on Valencia,” I said, hopping off the stool I was sitting on.

“Hi,” both girls replied in unison.

“What brings you in today?” I asked. For a second, I thought about using Aubrey from Fuchsia Gifts’ “slice of heaven” remark, but they would probably be as annoyed by that as I was.

“Our sorority sister got engaged, and we’re throwing her a bridal shower,” the blonde girl said.

I noticed they both were wearing choker necklaces, skinny jeans, and flannel shirts tied around their waist. Maybe their sorority had some kind of dress code?

“Our friend’s mother said we could do whatever we want, no matter what the cost. We’ve come up with a few cool ideas, but we figured it would be good to get a professional opinion,” the lavender-headed girl said.

Yes! This was the best part of my job. Being creative really was therapy for me.

“Of course, I can add to those ideas,” I replied, trying to tone down my excitement. This was going to be a nice change from Mrs. Watson and her very “specific” requests. “My name is Sabrina, can I get you something to drink?”

“I’m Danielle, and this is Kiki.”

Kiki had the lavender hair. It was the perfect name to match the hair.

“It’s great to meet you both,” I replied. “Now tell me about your friend. Does she have a color scheme for her wedding? Any specific flowers you want to use?”

The girls gave each other an exasperated look. I was obviously missing something here.

Sensing this wasn’t about flowers, I asked, “Is everything okay?”

The girls shared a look. As a florist, I’ve learned over the years it’s often about more than just flowers.

Danielle let out a puff of air. “Planning a shower is fun, but . . . well, we’re a little worried about our friend, Christina. It seems like she’s rushing into this, and we’re afraid she’s going to regret getting married so quickly.”

“We’re kind of hoping she will break off her engagement,” Kiki added. “At least before she’s walking down the aisle. Could you imagine her getting to the altar and then realizing she rushed into it?”

Danielle giggled. “Yeah, she could be like that woman who was running around the airport in her wedding gown. Did you see that video online?”

Crap! I certainly wasn’t going to tell them I was the star of that video.

“No, I don’t think I’ve seen it,” I replied smoothly.

Which was the truth. I had been avoiding that video on purpose. I didn’t need any more of a reminder of that day.

It definitely wasn’t my finest moment.

“Oh, you have to watch it. I’ll pull it up.” Danielle took her phone out of her handbag.

“No, that’s okay,” I said, raising my voice. “I’m sure I’ll see it later. Let’s just focus on the reason you ladies came in today.”

Thankfully, neither Danielle nor Kiki noticed my knee-jerk reaction. I distracted them by showing them some photos of a bridal shower online I did a few months before. They both liked the tulips, so they selected some in various shades of pink, Christina’s favorite color.

Not like I needed any more pink in my life at the moment.

We made some good progress before Isabella returned with our lunch, although I was just happy I was able to keep them from pulling up the infamous “runaway bride” video. I wondered how long it was going to take for someone to figure out that I was that bride and hiding out in Orlando?

I hoped never.

“You okay?” Isabella asked, after our new customers had left.

Why did it always seem like she was asking me that? I never used to be like this. I used to be so happy, so sure of myself.

Or, at least, I thought I was happy. But I wasn’t.

“Yes, I was just thinking about what they were saying about their friend, Christina, rushing into her wedding.”

She shrugged. “Well, maybe Christina doesn’t feel that way? Just because her friends believe she’s rushing into marriage doesn’t mean she does.”

Isabella had made a very good point. I was in the exact opposite position. My friends and family had all wanted me to get married.

I was the one who didn’t.

I shook my head. “Oh, well. It’s not our business. We’re just here to create exquisite floral creations for their event.”

Isabella smiled. “That’s the spirit. And that’s exactly what we’re going to do.”

* * *

As soon as I arrived home—Addi’s home—I stretched out on the cozy white couch and closed my eyes. I had fallen in love with this couch. It was actually where I spent most of my time in her apartment. I thought about my day. It had been a great day at Blooms, and I was excited for the opportunity to work on a new project.

I could hear my phone buzzing from the inside of my bag, where I’d left it on the kitchen counter. I was conflicted about getting off the couch to check it. For one, it could be my mother again, even though she’d gone completely silent since our argument the other day.

Then again, it could also be Todd. I think I would rather talk to my mother—at least I knew what to expect from her.

I dragged my body away from the comfort of the couch and reached into my bag. As soon as I read the text my heart began to race.

Hey. It’s Ethan. Let me know when you’re free for coffee. Flying to Seattle in a few minutes, will be back in a couple of days. The flight won’t be the same without you.

That now familiar tingle shot through my body as I reread his text over and over again. Why was this happening to me? And, more to the point, why was I letting it happen?

I typed a response to Ethan.

Have a safe flight. Hopefully you aren’t stuck next to some crazy woman on the plane.

I chewed on my fingernail while I waited for his response.

Sometimes that’s not a bad thing. Look forward to seeing you soon.

I put the phone down and covered my eyes with my hands.

I let out a heavy sigh. Although Ethan was light relief from my life right now, I knew I had to call Todd before I let this go any further.

It was now or never. I had to put all the distractions and fear out of my mind. I glanced at the time—it was four o’clock in San Francisco. I picked up my phone and scrolled through my contacts until I stopped at Todd’s number. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. My stomach was in knots, and I felt like I was about to throw up.

He answered on the second ring. “Sabrina?”

As soon as I heard his voice I wanted to cry.

“Yes, it’s me,” I replied, my voice barely over a whisper. This was so weird. It was like I was on the phone with a stranger and not the man I was about to spend the rest of my life with only days ago.

“I’m so sorry, Todd—for everything.”

He didn’t say a word. For a second, I thought he had hung up.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were having doubts?” he asked a few seconds later.

It was a good question. Why hadn’t I told him?

“I don’t know.” I paused to clear my throat, feeling the weight of my actions. “Maybe I was hoping it was just nerves and my doubts would go away? The morning of our—of the day we were supposed to get married—I started panicking. I was dressed and ready to walk down that aisle and then I—”

“You ran,” he offered. His voice was hard.

And I couldn’t blame him one bit.

I guess “ran” was a good description. Either that or “crawled out a window.” Neither of them made me feel good about myself.

“I wish I could go back and do things differently, Todd. Really, I do. You deserved to know how I was feeling, not to be left alone to face our family and friends. I’m so sorry.”

He didn’t reply. I was expecting him to yell or cry . . . or something.

“I never meant to hurt you.” Tears welled in my eyes, my heart heavy.

“Sabrina?” I heard him let out a puff of air. “You weren’t the only one who was having doubts,” he said softly.

Well, I certainly didn’t expect that answer. My jaw dropped open.

Todd had been having doubts, too?

“I’m just as much to blame here. I stayed silent while our wedding was being planned around us. I couldn’t tell you how many nights I’d lie awake, worrying about how to tell you I wasn’t sure about us getting married.”

I couldn’t believe Todd had been feeling the same way as me! Not that it was an excuse for the way I handled things, of course.

“I had no idea,” I whispered into the phone. “At least you didn’t run out on me.” The guilt twisted in my stomach.

“Yeah, that wasn’t one of my best days,” he replied, a hint of humor in his voice.

He was taking this so well!

“I’m pretty sure my mother is ready to take me out of her will. She called a few days ago and demanded I come home,” I added in a lighter tone.

“Where are you anyway?” he asked.

I cringed. I wasn’t ready to tell anyone I was in Orlando. Not yet.

“I will tell you, just not yet. I’m okay, though. Please don’t be mad.”

He didn’t respond, and suddenly, we were back to our uncomfortable silence.

“I’m not mad,” he said eventually.

I knew Todd well enough to know he was telling me the truth. After all, we had been together for years, practically grown up together.

A tear escaped and rolled down my face. “Thank you,” I whispered, gripping onto my phone. I cleared my throat. “What happens now?”

Now that I knew he had felt the same, I didn’t feel as guilty as I did before.

“I’m not sure. We probably need to make a decision about us and where we stand.”

This was the part I was dreading the most. I still loved Todd, but I knew I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with him, and I didn’t want to hurt him more than I already had.

“It’s obvious that neither of us wants to get married,” he said, as if he were reading my mind.

I’d say my window escape was a very good indication of that.

“You’re right about that . . .” I trailed off as I tried to come up with the right words. “Todd, I will always love you, I’m just not—”

“You’re just not in love with me.”

“I’m sorry.”

It was beginning to feel like this whole conversation was me apologizing.

“Sabrina, you were the first girl I loved, but I’m not in love with you anymore, either. I was hurt you left without talking to me, and there was a part of me that wanted to try and fix whatever it was that went wrong. But now? I guess I also needed this time to clear my head.”

I felt a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. Neither of us wanted to get married and neither of us really wanted to be together anymore.

An intense wave of sadness washed over me. I knew what was coming—and so did he.

“It’s over, isn’t it?” I said as a fresh tear slid down my cheek.

“It is.”

I couldn’t help but cry. Even though I knew with all my heart this was the right thing, it still hurt like hell. Todd and I had been together for a long time. Our lives were so intertwined, and we shared so many wonderful memories.

“Don’t cry,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion.

“I wish you all the happiness in the world,” I managed in between my tears.

We both grew silent once again. How were we supposed to end this call? Not only had we officially ended our engagement, we had ended our relationship, too.

“This is going to put our mothers over the edge,” I said, lightening the tone. “Especially Priscilla.”

“They should want us to be happy,” he replied with such surety in his voice.

He was right; they should.

“I want you to be happy, too, Sabrina. Wherever that may be.”

He made it sound like I wasn’t coming back to San Francisco. I wondered if he knew something I didn’t?

“Thank you. You, too.”

We paused once again.

“I guess this is it.”

“I guess it is. Have a good night, Sabrina.”

“You too, Todd.”

As soon as we hung up, the tears really began to fall. It was officially over between us, and this was just as hard as I had expected.

Still sitting on the sofa, I replayed our conversation in my mind. I couldn’t help but think about the comment he’d made. I definitely wasn’t ready to think about returning to San Francisco or any more life-altering decisions right now.

I looked at my left hand, playing with my engagement ring, still on my ring finger. I slipped it off and held it up, the light catching the diamond. It was a beautiful ring. I remember when Todd had asked me to marry him, opening the little blue box to reveal this stunning ring nestled inside.

I pressed my lips together and closed my eyes, tears streaming down my face.

I stood up and walked into Addi’s spare room. I pulled open the nightstand drawer and carefully placed the ring inside. I closed the drawer.

I would give it back to Todd, someday.

I let out a heavy breath. I had to take it one step at a time.

Now, all I had to do was figure out how to break the news about the end of our relationship to my mother.